Voices of Adoption

Real bonds with kids are not built face to face. They grow shoulder to shoulder, one small moment at a time, says stepmom coach Alicia Krasko. In Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope sits down with someone outside the adoption triad who understands its emotional core anyway.

Alicia Krasko is not an adoptee, an adoptive parent, or a birth parent. She is a stepmom coach, and the guilt she coaches stepmoms through, the fear that not loving a child instantly means something is wrong with you, is the same guilt Donna names from her own experience raising her son.

The Guilt No One Talks About

Alicia hears the same fear from stepmoms that echoes what many adoptive parents feel, that if love does not arrive right away, something must be broken. Donna describes her own version of it. When her son came to her at two years old, it took a matter of weeks, not moments, for love to grow. Neither Alicia nor Donna treats that timeline as a failure. Both call it normal.

Bonds Built Shoulder To Shoulder

Alicia's coaching method rejects forced face-to-face bonding in favor of shoulder-to-shoulder time, car rides, board games, even sitting through a video game neither person particularly enjoys. The goal is not a fun activity; it is a low-pressure one the child can tolerate long enough to let a real connection start. That principle holds whether the relationship began through marriage, foster care, or adoption.

Family Built By Choice

Alicia's own story reinforces the episode's second thread, that family is not defined by biology alone. She has stepped back from parts of her biological family and built a new community in its place, a choice many people in the adoption triad make in reverse. Alicia and Donna also name the loyalty bind children can feel, the sense that loving a new parent figure means betraying the parent they already have. That binding gets acknowledged here rather than dismissed.

This conversation is not really about stepmoms or adoptive parents specifically. It is about anyone building a bond with a child on a timeline they did not choose, and giving themselves permission to trust that timeline instead of rushing it. No matter where you are in your journey, you'll find people who understand.

Hear how a stepmom coach explains what it really takes to build a bond with a child who is not yours by birth.

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HeartToHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

LinkedIn: @nathangwilliam | Website: PodUp.com | Podcasts - Why We Believe: WhyWeBelieve.com · Podcasting Secrets: PodcastingSecrets.com

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Brooke Pace has been told her kids are not really hers more than once. Sometimes it comes from a stranger on a field trip. Sometimes it comes from her own sons, testing the idea out loud.

In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope talks with Brooke Pace, a mother of five who built her family through both birth and adoption. After a hysterectomy in her twenties closed the door on more biological kids, Brooke and her husband adopted three sons across three very different journeys, and Brooke walks through the fear, the waiting, and the moments that convinced her love was doing all the real work.

What She Tells Her Kids

Brooke's sons are a different ethnicity than she is, so the questions come early and often. Her answer never changes: a genetic link has nothing to do with who counts as a parent. What does, she says, is showing up for someone through the good times and the bad.

The Worry That Disappeared Once She Started

Brooke admits she was not sure bonding would feel the same with a child she had not carried. She talks through the moment that fear peaked, holding her son Fordham for the first time, and how quickly it resolved once she let herself simply bond and serve.

Not Every Match Becomes A Placement

Brooke's second adoption did not go the way she expected, and she describes grieving a loss that made no sense to her at the time. She stayed in the process anyway, and her son Emmett came from an entirely different situation not long after.

Every conversation on Voices of Adoption shows a different piece of what building a family can look like, and Brooke's story is a reminder that being a parent has far more to do with showing up than with biology. No matter where you are in your journey, you'll find people who understand.

Hear what an adoptive mother of five wants families considering adoption to know.

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HeartToHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

LinkedIn: @NathanGwilliam | Website: PodUp.com | Podcasts – Why We Believe: WhyWeBelieve.com | Podcasting Secrets: PodcastingSecrets.com

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Alicia Divico, a licensed mental health counselor and certified addiction professional in Tampa, Florida, has spent years watching one connection most families never make, that adoption related loss can resurface years later as anxiety, identity struggles, or addiction. In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope asks Alicia Divico of Personal Wellness Solutions the questions many adoptive parents are afraid to ask out loud, including her own, since Donna is also navigating her adult son's ongoing struggle with substance use.

Loss Can Start Before Anyone Has Words For It

Alicia explains that attachment can begin before birth, since babies recognize the voices of the people around them in utero. When a baby's first experience is separation from that environment, it can register as trauma before a child has any words for it. That early rupture often resurfaces later as questions of identity, especially for adoptees raised apart from their birth family's culture or history.

Trauma Awareness Can Become Its Own Trap

Donna names a pattern she sees across the adoption community, where people move from being unaware of adoption related trauma, to trauma aware, to trauma obsessed. Alicia agrees, and says the way out starts with recognizing that the obsession itself has become the problem. From there, she encourages clients to shift the question from how they got here to what they need now.

Boundaries Are Part Of Loving Someone Well

Alicia is direct about a limit many adoptive parents resist, that love alone cannot substitute for a boundary, and a parent cannot be their child's entire community. She walks through what that looks like in practice, from limiting financial support to changing how and when she is emotionally available. Donna, speaking from her own experience as an adoptive mother, reflects on how hard that balance is between staying present and enabling.

Listen to Alicia Divico's full conversation with Donna Pope on Voices of Adoption and learn why understanding your story changes how you judge yourself.

Hear what a therapist wants every adoptive family to know about loss, boundaries, and healing.

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HeartToHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

LinkedIn: @NathanGwilliam | Website: PodUp.com | Podcasts - Why We Believe: WhyWeBelieve.com | Podcasting Secrets: PodcastingSecrets.com

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For Amanda and Tony, becoming parents was never going to be defined by genetics. Adoption had been part of their conversations even before they were married, and after years of navigating fertility challenges, they realized they were genuinely called to adoption and ready to build their family in a different way.

In this heartfelt conversation, Amanda and Tony share the emotional and often unexpected journey that led them to their daughter. From the reality of the home study process and the preparation required to become a waiting family, to the shocking moment they learned their birth mother was in labor, their story captures just how quickly life can change.

After years of waiting, their match happened fast. They boarded a plane, arrived in another state, and learned that their daughter had been born. Walking into the hospital for the first time, they were filled with nerves and uncertainty. But the moment they met their daughter, those feelings quickly gave way to an overwhelming sense of love and connection.

Amanda and Tony also open up about their relationship with their daughter’s birth parents. Rather than viewing them as separate from their family’s story, they describe the birth mother and birth father with deep gratitude, compassion, and respect. Amanda recalls sharing a meaningful moment with the birth mother at the hospital, while Tony explains how reassuring it was to know that the birth father was present, involved, and supportive of the adoption.

They discuss the importance of maintaining a relationship with their daughter’s birth family, including sharing pictures, letters, and keeping communication open as their daughter grows. Most importantly, they want their daughter to always know that she was adopted, that she came from a place of love, and that her story will always be honored.

Amanda and Tony’s story is a powerful reminder that becoming a family isn't about shared DNA. It’s about love, commitment, responsibility, and the people who choose to show up for one another. Their journey offers an honest and deeply personal look at adoption—and the unexpected ways it can bring people together.

Jeff and Christine had been matched with a birth mom for exactly one week when the phone rang in the middle of the night. She was headed into an emergency C-section, and their daughter would arrive within 48 hours. They booked a flight, landed just in time, and met their baby girl in the NICU. Three days later, they sat down with Donna Pope to share what those first days really feel like. This is an honest, in-the-room conversation for waiting families who wonder what happens when the call finally comes.

The Tug-of-War They Feared Never Came

Jeff and Christine expected to feel anxious every time their birth mom visited the baby. Instead, she was the one comforting them. She told them "you got this," hugged Christine longer than anyone ever had, and framed her goodbye in words this family now lives by. This is not goodbye. This is see you later. They explain why her visits put them at ease instead of on edge, and why they already consider her family.

The Hardest Paperwork in Adoption

Waiting families know the preference forms, and Jeff and Christine call them the hardest documents they have ever filled out. They walk through how their answers changed on substance exposure, mental health history, race, and gender as they researched and trained. They started with tight limits and finished far more open, and they explain exactly what shifted their thinking along the way.

Paying for Adoption on Two Teacher Salaries

Jeff and Christine are both teachers, and they are honest about what adoption costs on a saver's budget. They share years of saving, skipped vacations, grant applications, and why a flat fee gave them peace of mind when fees at other agencies fluctuated by tens of thousands of dollars. They also open up about the grief of infertility, the questions that sting, and the instant love they felt for a daughter they had known for 30 seconds.

Adoption rarely follows the plan. This conversation shows what it looks like when the plan changes overnight and a family says yes anyway. If you are waiting for a match, or wondering what open adoption can look like in real life, watch this one. Then visit VoicesofAdoption.org for more stories and resources.

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A startle reflex that didn't fully fade. A nervous system still bracing for danger years after the danger passed. Then one text from an adoptive mom that read, "I think we're eighty percent there."

In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope interviews Emily Roper, a neuro-developmental delay therapist, doula, and certified midwife's assistant who has spent years tracing kids' hardest struggles back to their first year of life. Roper walks through the same reasoning she uses with the families in her own practice, the reflexes, the exercises, and two real cases, not just the theory behind them.

A Little Girl Who Climbed Into a Stranger's Lap

The first sibling Roper treated was a young girl with heavy social and emotional delays, the kind of child who would climb into a new therapist's lap within minutes of meeting her, a warning sign disguised as warmth. She was on track to struggle badly in school. About a year of consistent work later, she was making eye contact, managing her emotions, and thriving in class.

A Crying Text That Said Eighty Percent There

Her younger brother was a different story. He carried a significant trauma history from before his adoption and became one of Roper's most challenging cases, with progress that came in stretches of work followed by pauses. Then his mom sent a text that captured months of quiet progress: he was keeping it together at school, cleaning up his own messes, and telling her that he loved her.

This conversation shows what it looks like when big feelings get treated as biology instead of blame, adoptive parents get reassurance instead of guilt, and healing gets treated as a process instead of a verdict.

Hear the full clinical picture behind why adopted kids' bodies react the way they do on Voices of Adoption.

Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org. Like, share, and subscribe to spread the word.

#VoicesOfAdoption #EmilyRoper #AdoptionSupport #NeurodevelopmentalTherapy #AdoptionCommunity

Resources Mentioned:

Early Roots Therapy (Emily Roper's practice): earlyrootstherapy.com

The Early Roots Podcast, hosted by Emily Roper

"Miracle Children: Behavior and Learning Disabilities Uprooted" by Anna Buck

"Reflexes, Learning, and Behavior: A Window Into the Child's Mind" by Sally Goddard Blythe

Follow or Subscribe to Voices of Adoption on your favorite platform

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HeartToHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

LinkedIn: @NathanGwilliam | Website: PodUp.com | Podcasts - Why We Believe: WhyWeBelieve.com | Podcasting Secrets: PodcastingSecrets.com

Follow Emily Roper (Early Roots Therapy)

Foster parent and junior high teacher Amie Huggins wrote two rules on her Utah foster application. No adoptions. No long-term placements. Sixteen years later, she is the adoptive mother of four daughters and a grandmother of five. In this episode of Voices of Adoption, with host Donna Pope, Amie shares how each daughter arrived, why she stopped fighting the word forever, and what 25 years in a junior high classroom taught her about kids who push love away.

The Placements She Never Planned to Keep

Amie's first foster placement was supposed to last two or three months. The teenager stayed 13 years, earned two degrees under Amie's roof, and now works as a therapist. One by one, four of the five children Amie fostered became her daughters, including a seven-year-old she turned down three times before a single meeting changed her mind.

Behaviors That Look Like Manipulation Are Survival

As a TBRI practitioner and author of Creating a Connected Classroom, Amie breaks down the brain science behind hoarding food, testing limits, and pushing away affection. Kids from hard places built neural pathways that kept them alive, and punishment cannot rewire them. Connection can, one met need at a time, at home and at school.

An Adult Adoption That Became the Real Thing

Amie's fourth adoption was a 20-year-old, agreed to as legal protection for a grandbaby. Neither woman felt much affection in that courtroom. Years of showing up changed that, and today Amie counts her among the daughters who gave her more than she ever gave them, a family now connected to Raise the Future's work for waiting teens.

Listen to Amie Huggins' full conversation with Donna Pope on Voices of Adoption and learn what happens when connection outworks correction. Hear the whole story behind the foster form that said no on Voices of Adoption.

Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org. Like, share, and subscribe to spread the word.

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HearttoHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

LinkedIn: @NathanGwilliam | Website: PodUp.com | Podcasts - Why We Believe: WhyWeBelieve.com | Podcasting Secrets: PodcastingSecrets.com

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Ben and LaCol Kjar share their adoption journey to three kids, the movie Standout, and the name written down twice. Ten years of trying. Four rounds of IVF. Two adoption matches that fell apart. Then one phone call, one flight, and three kids in 13 months.

In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope interviews Ben and LaCol, the family behind the movie Standout and two baby reveal videos viewed more than 100 million times. Donna stood beside the Kjars at every step of their adoptions, and in this conversation, the three of them share the parts of the story the movie and the videos leave out.

The Name Written Down Twice

Ben woke at 3 AM with a single name pressing on his mind. Hours later, in a hospital meeting Donna arranged, the woman who carried that baby boy said she had already written down a name she loved, a name that means protective warrior. It was the same name. Liam came home, and the Kjars gained a relationship they describe as sacred.

A Second Baby 20 Minutes Away

While the Kjars signed for Liam, Donna took a call about another baby due days later in a neighboring town. LaCol needed clarity, and by the time she got it, she and Ben were ready to say yes. Rowan joined the family five days after her brother. A year later, a single text kept Liam's biological brother Kempton with the family, turning ten years of waiting into a house full of three kids just 13 months apart.

This conversation shows the adoption triad at its best, with birth parents honored, children cherished, and a family built through patience and a victor mentality.

Hear every part of the story the movie could not fit on Voices of Adoption. Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org. Like, share, and subscribe to spread the word.

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Follow Donna Pope (Host, Executive Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions)

LinkedIn: @donna-pope | Website: HearttoHeartAdopt.com

Follow Nathan Gwilliam (Co-Host, Founder of Adoption.com)

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Two child welfare insiders pull back the curtain on foster care and adoption.

In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope sits down with George Goodlow and Beth Hyerman, hosts of Laughing Through The Struggles, who have spent years in casework, foster care, licensing, and adoption. They get honest about reunification, kinship placement, and what it really takes to help a child reach a safe, permanent home.

Reunification Comes First

At its core, foster care is about sending kids home when it is safe. George and Beth explain how they fight for that outcome and support birth parents along the way.

Adoption With Open Doors

Beth shares her favorite kind of adoption, where a foster family kept the birth father in the child's life for birthdays, holidays, and Sunday dinners.

Advice for Families

Their message for anyone considering adoption is clear. Do it for the right reasons, lead with patience, and do not give up on these kids.

No matter where you are in your journey, you'll find people who understand.

Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org.

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Nathan Gwilliam (LinkedIn): @NathanGwilliam

Donna Pope (LinkedIn): @Donna-Pope-41652ba

Connect With George Goodlow and Beth Hyerman

He called 22 people, mom or dad, before he learned what family really means. Michael Sheaffer moved through eight foster homes by age six, lost his name and his siblings to adoption, and rebuilt his life one honest relationship at a time. Now he runs Welcome Home Youth Advocacy to walk beside foster and adoptive families through the hard middle. In this episode of Voices of Adoption with host Donna Pope, Michael Sheaffer shares his life story, and it is full of hope.

Eight Homes, Zero Stability

By age six, Michael had lived in eight foster homes and learned to treat every goodbye as the next adventure. He explains how kids build walls to survive and what steady adults can do to help them feel safe again.

Adoption Is a Beginning

Michael says movies end the story on adoption day, but real life starts there. He shares what adoptive families need most in the years that follow, and why a child's history should stay part of who they are.

Found After Forty Years

After four decades apart, Michael recently found his biological brother. He opens up about why that reunion matters and what he wishes every foster and adoptive family understood about belonging.

Michael turns real pain into real help for families who feel alone. Listen now, then keep the conversation going.

Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org.

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Website: VoicesofAdoption.org | YouTube: @VoicesofAdoptionShow | Twitter/X: @Voices_Adoption | Instagram: @Voicesof_Adoption | TikTok: @Voices_of_Adoption | LinkedIn: @Voices-of-Adoption

Nathan Gwilliam (LinkedIn): @NathanGwilliam

Donna Pope (LinkedIn): @Donna-Pope-41652ba

Connect With Michael Sheaffer