Tanya and Jeff Bennion talk with Preston Jenkins, who shares his journey as a gay man in a mixed-orientation marriage with his wife, Taryn. Preston opens up about the two years of bitterness he experienced after enduring abuse on his mission, and how his mother played a vital role in helping him work through that bitterness with love and teaching him correct principles.

Preston also discusses his journey of overcoming PTSD triggers related to the church and emphasizes the importance of staying clean to be a vessel of Christ's love. He shares how embracing truth sets one free from emotional burdens and encourages listeners to take control of their lives by choosing Christ.

Throughout the conversation, Preston encourages self-reflection by asking the question, "What doctrine, if I understood it better, would help me overcome this burden?" He addresses the claim that "the gospel doesn't work for everybody," emphasizing the importance of listening to the proper spirit.

Preston also shares how he and Taryn cultivated a beautiful relationship through intentional courtship. This inspiring episode offers hope, understanding, and guidance for anyone navigating complex challenges while seeking a path of stalwart discipleship.

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Check out Preston’s Voices of Hope video and a personal essay here.

You can buy Preston’s book here.

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Jenn and Anjanette speak with Lexi Weyland, who identifies as bisexual. She shares experiences and insight on how she is able to sit in uncertainty while still choosing to keep her covenants. They also discuss the dynamics between Lexi and her husband, Benj, who identifies as gay. Lexi shares their story and why they decided to get married and remain committed members of the church.

Lexi’s Instagram

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Jeff & Tanya speak with Nathan and Cristin Hessing. Nathan shares his experience of same-sex attraction and his desire to remain faithful to the Gospel. They talk about finding North Star later than other resources, and how both emotional and physical pain caused him to seek out help. Nathan and Cristin talk about the personal issues Nathan faced and the impact that had on their relationship, but how therapy had given him tools to move past those challenges.

Nathan shares some of the details of what those challenges looked like, and how the ability to make a personal choice was important to him in multiple facets of his life. Cristin is able to talk about her own experiences of being prompted early on in their friendship to consider this marriage long before she and Nathan ever started dating. 

Nathan’s Facebook

Cristin’s Facebook

Sallie & Danielle speak to Mary Thompson. She shares her perspective of learning of her husband Spencer’s same-sex attraction and why they decided to share their story publicly. Mary processes things through writing and shares many experiences on her blog, which is available to read. Sallie and Danielle echo the challenges that have existed at points in their marriages and personal experiences; conversely, they talk to the healing that have come from those and how marriage is really a process of learning and growing together. Whenever troubles would arise in their marriage, Mary talks about how she would hold to her wedding day and the feelings she had then as a grounding point for herself. They each share that they are grateful for these personal challenges as those have ultimately shaped who these women have become.

Mary talks about the importance of learning to allow herself to be happy and to have fun, instead of living in anxiety. They also discuss how God can make us more than what we are without him, comparing that to Mary and Spencer acquiring some caterpillars and watching them grow into butterflies. Mary closes by opening up about her personal challenge of longing to be desired and the journey that feeling has given her.

Links

Mary and Spencer’s Voices of Hope video
Spencer’s article in the Liahona

Mary’s blog As Dews From Heaven
@asdewsfromheaven
@redefiningromance
Mary on Facebook

007 - Trent as a Branch President

Jeff & Joseph speak with Trent, who was Joseph’s Branch President in Vermont. He gives insights into how church leaders can be more understanding of different circumstances in a branch or ward. Trent talks about how he spent a lot of time and effort trying to better understand Joseph when he first heard that a member of his branch experiences same-sex attraction. They all discuss the internal conflicts that come from being a member of the church while simultaneously knowing how to support and love anyone making choices that don't align with church values. 

Many commonalities exist between all members of the church as we strive to have a better relationship with Jesus Christ, which they expound on as they talk about the roles that Grace and Mercy play in ward leadership. They talk through the importance of providing safe spaces in all areas of the church where people can feel safe to have conversations seeking understanding. Trent also looks back on his own experiences as a Branch President to share advice with other church leaders, which includes the importance of putting trust into those around us regardless of what their personal challenges may be.

Trent on Facebook

Show Notes:

That We May Be One by Tom Christofferson

Sallie & Danielle talk with Tera Brown, and get an update since she and her husband Curtis shared his story of Same-Sex Attraction in 2014, as part of the Voices of Hope project. Tera talks about knowing that something was off in the home after having been married for 16 years, but how she couldn’t put her finger on it. After Curtis chose to open up about his experience with her, Tera reached out for support and found resources that helped her better understand her husband. She goes on to share the conversation they had when they talked about choosing to continue being in a marriage together or not, and what that meant for her. She also details why she chose to stay and how their marriage is at its strongest today because of the growth they’ve had through their personal work.

Tera’s journey of understanding has since led to her helping others to the point of becoming a life coach. She also discusses beginning to work with other women in similar situations and how that’s led her to fostering retreats for women, who can often get lost in their own journeys as they help others. They all discuss some of the hardships that all women experience and how many need help, which is something she’s brought into her own congregation at church. Tera also shares what continues to give her hope and how she looks to the future. 

Tera and Curtis’ Voices of Hope video

La Loba: The Woman Who Knows

Jeff & Tanya have a conversation with the Applegates who share their experience of being thrust into the spotlight because of two Facebook posts that together garnered over 9,000 likes. Nick had already considered sharing his story of same-sex attraction publicly, but hadn’t decided to move forward on that. When he and his wife Jordan saw the negative social media reaction to a recent BYU Faculty Address from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, their resolve was solidified and they had a desire to express their belief in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They weren’t expecting such an overwhelming response, both positive and negative, or for the post to be picked up by multiple news outlets and shared even more broadly.

Nick and Jordan also go into detail about the first conversation around Nick’s same-sex attraction prior to their marriage and their decision to step into the unknown and act on faith, despite not being sure what a marriage might look like with that component. They also talk about the importance of open communication in their marriage and their true source of happiness.

Article from the Daily Mail: Devout Mormon couple insist they're happily married despite husband confessing he's gay | Daily Mail Online

Nicholas’ Facebook post

Jordan’s Facebook post

Nicholas’ Facebook page

Jordan’s Facebook page

Sallie and Danielle have been friends for over a decade and are both married to men that experience same-sex attraction. They share the story of how they first connected and how important it was to find a friend that they could confide in, as they were both new to marriage. They go on to discuss how the Voices of Hope project impacted each of them and why they wanted to share their own perspectives and stories. WIth husbands that have actively sought out doing personal development, they describe the growth in self-awareness that has come from that. Each of these conversations has helped them look inwards and understand where they, in turn, needed to grow. Danielle also shares a story where she didn’t feel that Ty needed her and how his response to that changed her perspective on their marriage. 

Show Notes:

Sallie and Garrett’s Voices of Hope page

Ty’s Book In Quiet Desperation

Ty’s Book Voices of Hope

Jen’s story was originally featured in a Voices of Hope video in 2015. In this episode, she expounds on her story by sharing the fears that she felt about coming out as gay after having been married to a man for 18 years, and what finding a community within North Star really meant to her. She discusses how she came to reconcile her feelings in her marriage, as well as what keeps her anchored in the Gospel. 

Anjanette dives into her own experience of being a single member of the church, and how that is something she's still working to understand and accept. This experience gives her empathy to understand members of the LGBT community that are single or who have chosen to be. She shares her desire to get personal perspectives from members navigating these conversations and how the things she’s learned have affected her evolving relationship with God.  She also tells her own story of growing up and learning to cope with her own struggles with addiction. Later she finds resources for those addictions, only to understand just how lonely it can be for a woman in the church to deal with addiction at all. 

Jeff and Tanya Bennion have been part of the North Star Community since the beginning when Jeff helped found the organization. They have also been a part of Voices of Hope before it grew into a project, sharing personal essays in the book by the same name. They later shared a video detailing their story.

In addition to Jeff’s experience of same-sex attraction, they discuss the struggles and pain in their marriage that have come from infertility despite their desire to have a large family. Tanya also details her personal loss of losing her first husband and how healing and understanding have come over the years as she’s focused on helping others and giving back.

While Jeff was initially nervous about sharing their story publicly, he also shares details when they knew that they could be happy in marriage together despite attractions that seemed to contradict their relationship. They close with some trends they have observed over the years and how important it is for everyone to do their own work.

Links:

Voices of Hope video link
Voices of Hope Book