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Vol114.口语听力训练Afraid of Commitment


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You know there's something about late nights when the world feels quiet, when everyone else is asleep, and it's just you and your thoughts. The soft hum of the fridge, the occasional sound of a car driving by, and the gentle light from a lamp. In those moments, your mind starts to wander, and questions come up: Why can't I just commit to this? Am I always going to feel this scared? What if I make the wrong choice? These questions don't shout or demand attention; they come in softly, sneaking into the quiet, waiting for you to notice them. And sometimes, they can feel overwhelming.

If you've ever felt this way, I want to remind you that being scared of commitment is more common than you think. It doesn't make you weak or bad; it just shows that whatever you're thinking about matters to you deep down. You want to do things right, and that's why the fear is there. It's just part of being human. Today, let's talk about this fear together, not as something to fix or get rid of, but as something to understand. We'll take our time, look at it closely, and see where it comes from. Step by step, we'll try to make sense of it. Think of this like walking through a garden: some parts are beautiful and bright, while others feel dark or messy, but each part has something to teach us. So, instead of rushing, we'll go slowly because sometimes the best way to deal with fear isn't to fight it; it's to listen to it, understand why it's there, and gently let it go when we're ready. So, take a deep breath; let's start this journey together, one step at a time.

When I was younger, I thought commitment was simple: you make a decision, stick to it, and that's it. But as I grew older, I realized life is messier than that. Decisions are bigger, and sometimes they carry more weight than we expect. I have a friend, Emily, who used to joke about how she couldn't even commit to a brand of toothpaste. She'd laugh and say, "If I can't choose between mint or charcoal, how am I supposed to choose a career or a partner?" We laughed, but there was truth in what she said. The fear of commitment isn't about being lazy or indecisive; it's about caring deeply. It's about taking the time to think things through because we want to make the right choice. The bookThe Paradox of Choicesays that thinking before making a decision helps you feel more satisfied later. So, if you're hesitating, it's not a sign of failure; it means you're giving this the attention it deserves, and that's okay.

Let's dig a little deeper: why does this fear exist? Understanding the root of it doesn't solve everything, but it gives us clarity, which is a starting point. Firstly, it's the fear of losing freedom. When I was 10 years old, I got my first bicycle; riding it felt like flying, like I could go anywhere. As I got older, wanting freedom started to conflict with the idea of committing. Choosing one thing felt like giving up a hundred other possibilities. A friend of mine, Jake, explained it perfectly: "If I take this job," he said, "I'm scared I'll lose my weekends. If I get into a relationship, I'm afraid I'll lose myself." The fear of commitment often comes from the belief that we're trading freedom for security. But what if commitment isn't about giving something up? What if it's about gaining something new, such as an opportunity to create something important and lasting? The fear of not being good enough is also taken into account. This one's personal. I used to be terrified of starting anything new, whether it was a hobby, a relationship, or even this podcast. That is because I was afraid of failing. I'd ask myself, "Why would anyone care what I have to say?" But then I came across a quote by Brené Brown: "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage." It hit me: I wasn't afraid of failing; I was afraid of being seen as imperfect. If you've ever felt this way, remember commitment isn't about being perfect; it's about showing up, trying, and learning as you go. Sometimes commitment feels scary because of something that happened before. Maybe you've been hurt: a breakup, a project that failed, or a friendship that ended. Those memories can leave a mark. But here's what I want you to know: your past doesn't define your future. Every experience, whether good or bad, has taught you something; you've grown from it, even if it hurt.



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英语大师-EnglishMasterBy EnglishMaster