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Can you help me with the task my boss assigned?

Yes, I'm always ready.

Can you please fix this file for me this afternoon? I'm going out with my girlfriend.

Okay, have fun.

Do you want to hang out with us? We'd feel sad without you.

Actually, I have a test, but all right, let's go.

I hope you're really kind. Buy me a cup of coffee, will you?

Sorry, I can't. I still have work to do. Is that okay?

Sure. Oh no, I should have said no.

If you find yourself in this situation, then you might be a people pleaser. A people pleaser often says yes when they really want to say no or they feel worried because someone isn't happy with them. So what does it mean to be a people pleaser? Why is it a problem, and how can you change this behavior?

A people pleaser is someone who always tries to keep others happy even if it means they aren't happy themselves. They say yes to everything because they don't want to let anyone down. They always put other people's needs before their own. This might sound kind, but it can cause many problems too.

Being a people pleaser can make you feel tired and stressed. You might feel like you're always doing things for others, not for yourself. This can make you feel unhappy and even sick. It's important to remember that your happiness matters too.

Let's look at some common signs of people pleasing. One big sign is finding it hard to say no. People pleasers often say yes to things they don't really want to do. They might agree to help a friend move even if they're tired or busy. They might say yes to extra work even if they need rest.

Another sign is putting others' needs first. This means you always do what others want, even if it's not what you want. For example, you might eat at a restaurant you don't like because your friend wants to, or you might watch a movie you don't enjoy because your family wants to watch it.

Feeling worried when others are unhappy is another sign. People pleasers often worry about what others think of them. They don't want anyone to be upset with them. This can make them feel very anxious and stressed. They might spend a lot of time thinking about what they said or did, wondering if it upset someone else.

Why do some people always try to please others instead of just saying no? There are a few reasons. One reason is that they lack confidence. People who don't feel good about themselves may try to make others happy to feel better. They might believe that if others like them, they'll feel better about themselves.

Another reason is the fear of being rejected. People pleasers often worry that if they say no, others will stop liking them. They may think that if they don't do what others want, they will be left out. The need to be accepted is another reason. People pleasers want everyone to like and accept them. They might think that if they always say yes, people will like them more.

So is there any way you can stop this from happening again? One important thing is to set healthy boundaries. This means knowing what you are okay with and what you are not. It means saying no when you need to without feeling bad about it.

To set healthy boundaries, you need to know your limits. Think about what you're okay with and what you're not. For example, if you don't want to work on weekends, make that a boundary. If you need time alone to relax, that can be a boundary too.

It's also important to clearly communicate your boundaries. Let others know what you can and can't do. You can say, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that," or "I need some time for myself right now." It's okay to put yourself first sometimes.

Learning to say no is a big part of setting boundaries. Saying no can be hard, but it's very important. It helps you take care of yourself and shows others that your time and needs matter too. Here are some ways to say no politely and confidently: