Voxcali

As we get older, friendships require more intention, communication, and effort. But what happens when that effort isn't mutual?

Hi everyone, welcome to the GoldSea Podcast. Today we are going to talk about adult friendships. Why are adult friendships so hard to maintain? Have you ever stopped reaching out to somebody and realized that the only reason you guys were still friends was because you were the only one keeping the friendship alive?

Maybe you just stopped texting first, you stopped inviting them places, you stopped organizing plans, and suddenly you guys just never spoke again. And then the craziest part is that sometimes those same people will turn around and say, my gosh, you have changed. You never talk to me anymore. and you'll be sitting over here thinking, Okay, but you have my phone number too, and a phone works both ways.

When did maintaining this friendship become solely my responsibility? I feel like one of the biggest things that nobody really prepares you for when you become an adult is how difficult it can be to maintain friendships because when we're younger, friendships are so easy. You go to school together, you see your friends every day,

You might even hang out after school and spend your time on the weekends together. But when you get older, things change, people have jobs, relationships, responsibilities, and we all have completely different schedules. Then suddenly maintaining that friendship requires a lot more effort.

But what happens when that effort isn't equal? What happens when you're always the person who is inviting people out, planning everything, organizing the group, and making sure everyone stays connected? And what happens when you finally stop?

This is something I've been experiencing a lot over the past few years. I've had some of the same friends since middle school. These are people who have known me for over ten years and as I've gotten older, I've really started figuring out which friendships I've wanted to maintain and which aren't worth the same amount of energy as others.

Some of those friendships are still incredibly important to me. Some have faded, and there are some people who I don't even talk to at all anymore.

So today we're gonna talk about why adult friendships are so difficult

and why I've become so much more selective about who I've been able to keep in my life.

Like I said, friendships were much easier when we were younger.

We did not have to schedule time to see each other, and we were literally kind of forced to see our friends five days out of the week. We would see them in class, walking around campus, and even if you weren't really close with somebody, you were always just around them constantly, making it easy to maintain that connection. Now, compared to being an adult,

Trying to get five friends together for a dinner or maybe some kind of social gathering requires a complete Google Calendar invitation, requires three weeks' notice, and requires somebody to put their credit card down for the reservation that they need to make.

One person might be working that day, somebody might be with their boyfriend, someone's on vacation, and then someone says that they're down to go, but then they completely ghost the group chat when it's time to confirm.

Trying to coordinate something with everybody in your friend group can be exhausting, but I think there's actually a really interesting difference between childhood friendships and adult friendships.

When we're younger, we're friends because we go to the same school. We might live in the same neighborhood or participate in the same activities. But as adults, friendships become much more intentional. You're no longer automatically seeing people every day, so you have to actively choose to make room for them in your schedule.

And when I realized that, that's when I also realized which friendships were based on genuine connections and which were just kind of based on convenience. Because when you remove the convenience, what's actually left?

Like I mentioned before, I've had some of the same friends since middle school. And that's really special to me. There are people who have known me through so many different versions of myself, through so many different points in my life. They knew me before I had a career, before I went to college, before I had any idea what I wanted to do with my life.

Back then, our biggest concern was probably figuring out what we're going to do that weekend and whose party we're going to go to. But now we're adults, we're working, paying bills, building our careers, dealing with our relationships, and trying to figure out our future.

And I realized over time that just because somebody has known you for 10 years doesn't automatically mean they need to be in your life for another 10. This might sound harsh, but hear me out because sometimes we hold on to friendships because of the history behind them.

You think to yourself automatically, well, I've known this person since seventh grade, but what does that friendship look like today? Do I still enjoy being around this person? Does this person still support me? Can I have genuine conversations with them?

Does this person actually make my life better? Do I benefit their life? Or are we just holding on to the memory of who we used to be? Because those are very different things. And over the last few years, I've been able to really weed out who my genuine friends are

And that's not necessarily because there was some kind of dramatic falling out or fight. Sometimes you just grow into different people

And I think one of the biggest signs of maturity is being able to recognize that some people were amazing friends to the younger version of you, but that doesn't mean they're going to be the right friends for the 24-year-old version of you. And that's completely okay. Because that does not mean you have to completely stop talking to them or that you never have to see them again. You have to kind of understand where to place these people in your life.

For my whole life, I was always the friend who planned everything. and at a certain point, I got so tired of that.

Personally, I've always liked to be able to be the one to bring everyone together. I'm the person that's gonna be like, hey guys, let's go get a seafood boil. Let's go to this event that's happening on Saturday. Let's do something for this person's birthday. Why don't we all go here? If I see something

that I can invite my friends to, I'm usually the person who wants to make a plan.

And honestly, I don't mind that. I like organizing things. That's just part of who I am. But I've realized there's a downside to always being that person because people just expect it. They get used to you being the organizer. And after so many years, it's like the responsibility of maintaining the entire friend group falls on you.

And if no one makes a plan, everyone just waits for you to do it.

And then when you stop suddenly it's like everyone's wondering why don't we all hang out anymore? Why have we why haven't we seen each other in so long? I don't know guys. Why don't we?

Another thing about this that I've realized is that just because I'm naturally good at planning doesn't mean everyone else is, because some people are terrible organizers, but they're amazing friends.

They might suck at responding back in the group chat, but they'll show up for you emotionally. They might answer the phone when something serious happens. And they'll be there when you really need them. So I don't think friendship needs to be exactly fifty-fifty in this category, but I do think there needs to be some kind of reciprocation.

Maybe I'm the planner, but you could be the person who double checks if we're still doing this plan. Maybe I can organize and plan the dinner, But you could be the person who follows through with everyone else to make sure that they are going to be coming.

Maybe I invite you somewhere this weekend and you invite me somewhere next weekend.

There's a difference between being the friend who naturally takes initiative and being the only person who cares whether the friendship continues or not.

Now, another thing a lot of people have probably experienced with friendships is that people will get mad if you stop inviting them places. Maybe you have a friend, you're always inviting her places. Every time there's a dinner, a birthday, a night out with your friends, you still think about including them. And then one weekend you open up social media and that person is out with a bunch of other people.

Which is fine, obviously, because people are allowed to have other friends.

I don't expect to be invited to everything, but when I'm always the one inviting people to everything.

And that doesn't get reciprocated, you start to realize that you're always thinking about including this person, but they're not ever thinking about including you. And then at some point, you start to question the friendship. And it's not because you're jealous that they have other friends, but because you notice the difference in effort. And of course, social media makes this so much more obvious because before Instagram, you probably wouldn't even know half of the things your friends were doing without you.

But now you can literally watch everyone's social lives in real time. You see all the dinners, you see all the girls' nights, and then you start to wonder, okay, am I actually a part of this person's life or am I just somebody they hang out with when it's convenient for them?

Now I do want to also be fair because not every invitation is personal. Sometimes people are just hanging out with their coworkers. Sometimes it's a different friend group. And sometimes maybe there's just not enough room in the car. And I know you should not automatically assume that someone just doesn't want to invite you somewhere because they don't like you. But when there's a consistent pattern of you including someone and them never reciprocating it, it's reasonable to notice.

And what I find especially frustrating is when you eventually stop inviting that person and suddenly they have something to say about it. You never ask me to hang out anymore. Well, you never asked me because a friendship is a two way street. And if I stop doing all the work and the friendship disappears, that is not fair to put all the blame on me.

I actually wanted to share a recent falling out that I've had because it's kind of a perfect example of how adult friendships can be really complicated. Looking back, I think the entire situation came down to having completely different expectations of what friendships should look like. And for a while, I've had this feeling about this particular friend because she only wanted to hang out when it was convenient for her.

She would call me randomly and ask what I was doing or if I wanted to hang out in the middle of the day. And I genuinely couldn't. I work a lot. I have so many responsibilities. I keep myself in the gym. And my schedule can get really, really hectic. But when I would tell her I was busy at that time that she was calling, instead of just understanding that I had other things going on in my schedule, she would just keep asking, Come on, why can't you? Please, let's go do something.

And at first I didn't really think much of it. But after a while when this would just happen over and over again, it's like I was being guilt tripped for having a life outside of this friendship, even though she never put in any kind of effort besides when she was calling me to ask me to hang out at that exact moment.

Now I don't think there's anything wrong with spontaneously calling your friends and asking them to hang out, because I love when spontaneous plans work out. But I think there's a difference between inviting somebody to do something and expecting someone to drop everything they're doing at that moment because you suddenly feel like you want to hang out. And that brings me to the situation that ultimately caused us to fall out. Because one day she called me while I was at work and asked if I wanted to hang out afterwards. And I said yes.

I told her we could do something once I got off. So it wasn't like I was avoiding her. I was completely open to seeing her. But here's the thing. There was no actual plan. There was no restaurant picked out. There was no activity that we were going to do. She didn't give me a time and place to meet. It was just, let's hang out when you get off. Which, okay, whatever, we can figure something out. But after I worked my shift, she still had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do.

And instead of coming up with something, she started to ask me to reach out to our other friends to see if they wanted to hang out too. And I'm sitting here like, so you just called me to ask me to hang out. I just finished working.

I just got off my shift and now I'm supposed to organize the entire evening. Maybe that sounds dramatic, and this might be where the bigger issue comes in, but it really just wasn't about that one night because it was a pattern that I've already been noticing, and I felt like I was constantly being expected to make myself available for this person. But there was never the same effort being put into actually making plans with me.

So when I got off of work that day, I was tired. I spent my day working. There was still no plan.

I ended up even calling our friends to see who was free. And nobody was free. Everybody was tired. And at that point, I really didn't even feel like going out anymore. So I decided not to. And she got upset. From her perspective, I think she felt like I didn't respect her enough to want to spend time with her. I had already agreed to hang out and then decided she wasn't worth my time.

And I can understand why that could be frustrating. When someone tells you they want to hang out with you and then backs out, of course you might be disappointed. I can acknowledge that. But from my perspective, I felt like my time wasn't being respected either. Because I had made myself available after work. I was willing to hang out with her. But then when there was no plan, no initiative, and then the responsibility of figuring everything out was being put on me, that's what bothered me the most.

Just because I said I was available does not automatically make me the event coordinator. And just because I'm usually the person who makes plans doesn't mean I want to be that person every single time. It's nice to hear somebody say, Hey, let's go to this restaurant, I can make us a reservation.

It doesn't even have to be anything elaborate. We could just go and grab food from a drive-thru. We can go to Starbucks and sit somewhere and talk. I'm not asking for some kind of extravagant itinerary. I'm just asking for a little bit of initiative. And that's something people really overlook in friendships.

Planning requires some kind of effort. It's not just about physically showing up. It's about thinking about the other person and considering their schedule, making something convenient for each other, and showing that you want to spend time with each other and you care enough to make that happen.

Now it gets a little interesting because I don't necessarily think that my friend was intentionally trying to disrespect me. I think she genuinely wanted to see me. And maybe in her mind, calling me and asking me to hang out was her way of putting in effort. But meanwhile in my mind I was thinking, okay, but can you actually make a plan?

It's possible we are measuring effort in two completely different ways. For her, effort might have meant reaching out and wanting to spend time together. For me, effort meant being considerate of my schedule and taking some initiative instead of expecting me to organize everything. And neither of us was necessarily communicating that clearly.

And that's why adult friendships can be so difficult because people have completely different definitions of what being a good friend looks like. Some people think being a good friend means being available whenever you call. Some people think that means checking in on them and asking how their day was every day. And that's the problem when we often expect other people to automatically understand our definition and they don't.

That's another thing that I learned from this situation specifically is that being disappointed doesn't automatically mean you've been disrespected. My friend was disappointed that I didn't end up hanging out that night. I was frustrated there wasn't a plan. Both feelings can exist at the same time. But if neither person can understand where the other is coming from, then that situation can turn into a much bigger falling out.

We all get busy, we have different schedules, and we all have different expectations. But if I want to see you and you wanna see me, we tell each other. but if you want to see me, I want you to tell me. And if I want to see you, I will tell you.

I don't think there's a problem with respecting the fact that your friends have responsibilities. If somebody is making time for you after a long workday, I don't think it's unreasonable to want some consideration in return. My friends do not need to revolve their lives around me, and I do not want to revolve my entire life around my friends either. I just want a friendship where we both feel like our time and effort matter.

You can genuinely care about somebody and still realize that the way they expect you to show up in a friendship just doesn't work for you anymore. That doesn't mean someone's a terrible person. Sometimes it just means the friendship needs different boundaries or a different level of effort.

Another thing about adult friendships is that I think some people expect a lot. Some people expect too much from their friends, because there's this expectation that a good friend should always be remembering everything about you, always responding to you whenever, showing up whenever they need you to.

I've learned to stop forcing the friendships. I used to think maintaining friendships meant trying really hard to keep everyone together, but I've gotten much more selective about where I put my energy because I don't think every friend is going to be your best friend forever.

Some people are just meant to be your best friend during high school and later on in your life they become an acquaintance. Maybe some people are meant to be your friends while you're working at a certain job. There's some people who are your going-out friends. And there are some friends who you can call when your entire life is falling apart.

Sometimes one person can be all of those things, but not always. And I've learned that I don't need to force anybody to be a bigger part of my life than they naturally want to be. If we're close, we're close. We will feel that effort. And if we're not, that's okay too. And that's different from intentionally cutting people off.

Not every friendship needs a dramatic ending. Sometimes you simply just stop investing the same amount of energy. You stop being the one who reaches out. You stop making plans. You stop taking responsibility for maintaining a connection that requires two people. And that friendship just naturally fades. Some people might see that as cutting off, but really it's just accepting the relationship for what it was.

There's a fine line between protecting your peace and avoiding an uncomfortable situation. And if somebody has genuinely been a good friend to you for ten years, I don't think one missed invitation should erase that history.

Sometimes it's worth saying, hey, I feel like I'm always the one making plans, and I wish you would initiate sometimes too, because maybe they just don't realize it genuinely. And if you care about the friendship, giving somebody the opportunity to show up differently can be worth it. But if you've communicated that and nothing changes, then you have your answer.

So, what do I actually look for in friendships now? I think the biggest thing I look for is mutual effort, not necessarily equal effort every single day, because I know sometimes life One of my friends can be going through something very difficult and might need more support. Sometimes somebody is busier than the other.

It's totally okay. I don't think healthy friendships means keeping a spreadsheet of who is texting you first. But over time, you should feel that both people care about the friendship. I also very much value people who are genuinely happy for me, friends who celebrate my accomplishments and don't make things a competition.

And especially friends who respect my time. I think having those friends who really understand that you're not constantly available doesn't mean that you stop caring. It's about trust, respect, and wanting good things for each other.

Overall, the biggest thing that I've learned about adult friendships is that they're supposed to add something positive to your life, not drain you. Obviously, every relationship takes work, and I'm not saying friendships should be effortless, but I already have to work, I have to pay bills, and I already have a million things that I'm trying to balance in my own life. I don't want to constantly have to worry about someone else's.

And worry that they're mad at me because I didn't text them back fast enough or because I didn't ask them how their day was.

I also don't want to feel like I have to beg somebody to make time for me. I think as adults, we should be able to understand that everyone has their own life and that it takes effort to maintain a relationship.

As I head into my late twenties, I've become much more comfortable with my friendships changing. I'm a lot more comfortable with having a smaller circle, and I've completely stopped feeling like I need to be the person who keeps everyone together. I love planning things, I love being a social person, and I love bringing my friends together, but that does not mean I'm responsible for everyone else's social life.

A friendship should not exist only because one person refuses to let it die. If you value somebody, show them. Invite them places, check on them, make time for them when you can. And if you feel like they're not doing the same, talk about it. But also understand that friendship in adulthood is going to look completely different from your friendships in middle school.

I think it's totally fine to not know every single thing that's happening in each other's lives every day.

What matters is knowing that when you do make time for each other, the connection is genuine, not just feeling like a chore.

So I'll leave you guys with one question. If you stopped initiating plans with your friends tomorrow, how many of those friendships would actually continue?

Because I think the answer to that can really tell you a lot about your friendships. And that's all for today's episode. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see you guys in the next one.

This Indian folk tale shows how loyal friends can combine to do far more than the sum of their individual abilities.

Come closer, my darlings, and let me tell you about four friends who lived in a great green forest in India, where banyan roots twisted like sleeping dragons, parrots flashed between the trees, and the lotus pond held a little piece of the sky.

Here's why partner dancing may be the best way to preserve your youthful vitality while enjoying endless urban adventures.

Tom Kagy (00:01.42)

As I suggested earlier, a big part of the draw is the great cardiovascular workout combined with a positive impact it has on my balance, coordination, and agility. Those are no small benefits, but there's more, much more actually. Regardless of whether you luck into a partner who follows like a dream or makes you feel like a Japanese soldier leading prisoners on the Bataan Death March.

Your brain is doing much more work than if you were playing a game of poker or a video game. Start with a cerebellum which is at the back of the brain and coordinates movement, corrects errors, and aligns steps with the music. Then there's the basal ganglia, especially the pudimen deep inside your brain that coordinates your movement with the music's beat.

The boss of them all is the motor and premortal motor cortex, including the supplementary motor area, which executes the steps by planning and sequencing the sets of moves that form the complete pattern. Last but not least is the parietal and somatosensory cortex, which must be fully engaged so your preparation.

Constantly aware of your body position relative to your partner and to the dancers around you, as well as constantly sensing the pressure, touch, and movement from your partner so you don't constantly stumble into each other. You aren't likely ever to engage in any other activity that makes demands on all these brain regions at the same time.

Tom Kagy (02:30.547)

Unless you put in the effort to practice intensely on your own to commit moves to muscle memory, almost nothing of what you do during a group lesson will survive beyond the last few bars of the lesson. In short, partner dancing is probably the best all around workout for poop people who want to stay fit and active. But there's another aspect to dance that

attracts people. Each dance is a three to six minute adventure. Adventures have always been appealing because it tests me against conditions that can't really be fully foreseen. That was the big attraction of trekking every tall mountain within relatively easy reach. Whitney, Rainier, Pike's Peak, Orgonio are all peaks I could climb in a single long day.

Without having to endure the tedium of mounting a weeks long expedition of travel and acclimating. For me the draw is the unknown. What exactly would I encounter along the way? And how would I cope? The satisfaction comes from overcoming hardships with difficulties to complete the adventure.

There are only so many peaks within reach, and once you've climbed them, they no longer possess the allure of the unknown. Inter partner dancing, the most conveniently accessible adventure of all.

Tom Kagy (04:41.128)

For example, you could be Fred Esther on steroids, but if you chose a partner who has no experience with a particular dance or is just a bad follower, you will look like a stumble bum, a sad sack, who can't tell his left from his right.

In a typical club setting, this possibility is just one of several variables that make each partner dance a mini adventure, one that tests your character and resolve, not to mention several key areas of your brain and body crucial to physical vitality. What makes partner dancing so challenging is

Is that even when you've done your homework and committed a repertoire of moves and patterns to muscle memory, there's still that big X factor. This isn't to say that selecting the wrong partner necessarily dooms that dance into three or four minutes of living hell. But to avoid that misery, I had to learn to cultivate a trait I'd never excelled at, quickly adjusting to unexpected circumstances.

A partner can make demands on you that you never expected. Learning to adapt to the demands of each partner is actually one of the most difficult and yet ultimately satisfying aspects of partner dancing. Look at it this way What kind of an adventurer would you be if you hated dealing with the unexpected demands likely to come your way on a journey to an unknown destination?

Tom Kagy (06:56.248)

In trying to drag a partner through steps that can only make her feel like a heavy sack and you like a Japanese soldier guarding prisoners on the Bataan Death March. The best approach is just to stop dancing and provide a 30-second tutorial to clue her in on the basic steps. Once she's stepping to the music without problems, for a few measures at least.

I slip in a turn, then maybe another. That way the song never becomes a forced march and you both enjoy a constructive experience, that's also kind of fun.

The willing novice the willing novices are deeply grateful for my patience and instruction, and I feel good having provided sufficient encouragement for them to complete a dance while learning a few basic steps to build confidence for the next one. The willing beginner is a far more pleasant partner than a seasoned dancer with deeply ingrained bad habits and a sense of entitlement.

To impose those habits simply because she has been dancing for years. This type of dancer or partner tends to assume she already knows the step sequence I'm about to lead and just marches through a pattern without paying attention to what I'm actually trying to lead. Or she tries to impose her own sense of timing and rhythm even when she happens to be one of those people that are totally devoid of any real musicality.

Tom Kagy (09:06.09)

Another type of pill are those very fastidious women unwilling to commit to a firm hand connection and offers up only her fingertips, constantly squirming her hand free when I try to firm up the connection in preparation for leading a move that requires real momentum transfer.

Fingertip connections work fine for rep repetitions of static, predictable steps or in-place stylings. But with my tendency to lead moves that require actual travel and rotation, the fingertips always disconnect and the lead breaks mid turn, making us both look and feel pretty f silly.

Some women resent any effort at providing suggestions, no matter how low their level of skill. A few even become offended and hostile at the mere thought that I'm presuming to offer suggestions. Then there are women who think it's their job to lead and will engage in a kind of silent power struggle that sometimes results in my arm being yanked back behind me at an angle that can.

Cause a shoulder strain. So yes, I learned that there are times when it's best to smile apologetically, thank her, and cut the dance short.

Tom Kagy (10:55.849)

My leads required more movement than some women are accustomed to. Of course this is a serious issue with women who simply don't have the physical conditioning to follow. On the other hand, many women told me they found my leads more fun than the more gentle and even passive leads provided by many men.

So I made a habit of noting a woman's physical condition before asking her to dance.

I alluded to another type of problem with my style of physical leads. Some seasoned female dancers felt deprived of chances to hijack the lead and quote play, show off their stylings while their partner stands by like a may pole or a monkey bar. So I learned to avoid that type of dancer as well.

Of course the ultimate is to come across a partner who is a genuinely good dancer with the ability to move to the music and to actually follow my leads to achieve a satisfying sequence of patterns. Those rare but perfect dances provided me much needed reassurance that my musicality and ability to lead are actually fundamentally sound, because at times you start to question them.

Tom Kagy (12:55.677)

Those moments are special. They restored my faith in dance and in myself and motivated me to keep trying to do better.

Unfortunately, great dances like that aren't the norm, but fortunately the truly awful dances are rare as well. Most of the time, maybe eighty five to ninety percent of the time, the dances feel like effort well spent, minutes profitably passed. This brings up the question of what I've learned about choosing partners.

Is there an art to choosing partners likely to lead to great dances? Well, of course, if you have the opportunity to actually watch all the prospective partners, that might help make good selections, but that's rarely the situation. Most of the time I'm faced with selecting from a handful to maybe a half dozen women who aren't already paired up and appear open to dancing.

Among them may be two or three with whom I've I'm familiar having danced with them before. Because I'm seeking a small adventure with each dance, I generally prefer to ask someone I've never seen before, which means it's a crapshoot as to the type of dance I find myself leading or trying to lead. But as all real dancers know, it's a dance, not a date.

Tom Kagy (14:51.876)

This Chinese American designer transformed his love of hip-hop and New York street style into Public School, earning fashion’s biggest honors and high profile collaborations. 

Asian American designer, Dao-Yi Chow transformed his New York City childhood into one of the most celebrated menswear brands in America.

He was born and raised in the Big City by Chinese immigrant parents who owned two flower shops. Although his parents never formally taught him about entrepreneurship, Chow paid close attention to their work ethic and while his sister took a more traditional path and became a doctor, he believed he could follow a more creative career. 

Growing up during the 1990s, Chow became fascinated with hip-hop and the way artists used clothing to project confidence and identity. Unlike other cities, New York fashion was not about expensive brands. In this city, what you wear can influence how everyone perceives you.

Initially, Chow steered more towards the music industry. While attending New York University, he was also interning at Sony Music and experimenting with DJing and producing. His path eventually led him to Sean “Diddy” Combs’ fashion company Sean John. There, Chow met Maxwell Osborne, and the two developed a friendship through their shared interest in New York style. In 2008, they launched Public School, a label combining streetwear and sportswear with the construction and materials associated with luxury fashion.

In 2010, the Council of Fashion Designers of America selected Public School as the only menswear company in the inaugural class of its Fashion Incubator program and by 2013, Public School had become one of the most exciting names in American fashion. Chow and Osborne received the CFDA Swarovski Award for Menswear and later won the Vogue Fashion Fund, which came with $300,000 and mentorship to help grow their business.

The recognition continued as Public School was named CFDA Menswear Designer of the Year in 2014 and won the International Woolmark Prize for menswear in 2015, fully bringing Chow into mainstream fashion. That same year Chow and Osborne became creative directors of DKNY where they presented three runway shows and helped redesign DKNY’s SoHo flagship.

Chow later served as global creative director of tennis brand Sergio Tacchini, then became creative director of BRADY, a lifestyle brand connected to Super Bowl champion Tom Brady. In 2024, Chow was appointed vice president and creative director of New Era where he developed the cap company’s first complete apparel line. 

His most recent chapter has brought him back to where his success began. After a multiyear hiatus, Chow and Osborne returned Public School to New York Fashion Week in February 2026 and continued their comeback with a Spring 2027 collection, which earned them a 2026 CFDA nomination for American Menswear Designer of the Year. 

Dao-Yi Chow became successful by recognizing that streetwear deserved a place in luxury fashion and now, nearly two decades after launching Public School, he is once again turning the style of his hometown into something the entire industry wants to follow.

Victor reviews his fitness goals over the past year and how he used the ideas presented in previous episodes.

Victor (00:00)

Now, around this time in twenty twenty five is when I started to take body composition and fat loss a lot more seriously. Because around that time I sort of had this self limiting belief, like, I don't really care about aesthetics or whatever. I

just want to eat for enjoyment and I don't have the discipline to take my diet seriously or whatever. But then I started having this I don't want to call it an invasive thought, but I just had another thought where I just wondered, what if I actually took it took this seriously? Because what's the point of not taking this seriously? If I'm already putting all this time in the gym, like, how much harder could it be to actually just watch what I eat a little and see where I can go from there?

Victor (01:01)

Fit like you're going to notice your fitness levels decrease. And in a way, I took that as a challenge because there was a big part of me that thought, wait, this is I'm sensing bullshit here, and I'm gonna call all of you out on that. So I decided, alright, what if I actually took this seriously?

Victor (01:53)

Yes, this at the ripe old age of 30 was the first time I saw my own abs.

Victor (02:32)

Somewhere around 20, 25 pound 20 to 25 pounds. I think yeah, I started my weight loss at around 210-250 pounds, and just this morning I weighed in at about 191 pounds.

Victor (03:22)

Because at the end of the day, performing these steps is actually simple. I do think that having the principles and the why behind why I take these steps is important and hopefully those of you listening can reverse engineer these to be relevant to your own personal journey.

Victor (04:11)

There's almost no point in this endeavor because tracking calories, getting your steps in, and doing workouts, it's not for everyone. Not everyone has fun with this. Not ever not everyone derives greater pleasure or enjoyment from this. So if you fundamentally don't desire this, then there's almost no point in engaging with this.

Victor (04:54)

If we really want to get Nietzsche in with this, we can ask ourselves, where do our desires truly come from? Does my desire, does your desire to be fit and lean come from something internally? Or is that an idea that was incepted into us by society, by media at large? I can't say for certain, right? Like what is the origin of thought? But, you know, that may be beyond

Victor (05:29)

Victor (05:47)

That need to impress other people is not a sustainable route.

Victor (06:24)

Victor (06:47)

Victor (07:09)

Victor (07:33)

Victor (07:50)

Victor (08:18)

Victor (08:46)

Victor (09:11)

And because of that, that's what allowed me to sustain my habits and my systems for over a year.

Victor (09:49)

is where I think most people need to start with is figuring out how does this transformation lead you to become more of yourself rather than becoming somebody completely different.

Victor (10:36)

of the things people say to you that they say around you, the beliefs that other people have, and then assessing whether or not those things are something you want to keep around.

Victor (11:22)

Victor (11:52)

And when I looked around me and I found that I was getting a lot of these unproductive thoughts and words from other people, I decided that I would best be served without those influences. So I started to remove certain elements.

Victor (12:41)

Victor (13:08)

Victor (13:29)

it is still important to audit the types of people you are surrounding yourself with and whether or not they are congruent with your goals. And for me personally, it was the right decision to cut off certain relationships.

Victor (14:15)

I was pushing myself to be the best I could be at that sport.

Victor (14:47)

So off the bat, I did not set up these complicated systems with lots of habits. Like I said earlier, I always recommend starting small. And one thing that I did very, very well was creating these small sustainable habits. And the first one was just walking more.

Victor (15:30)

Victor (15:57)

Victor (16:22)

Victor (16:40)

I did kind of pay the price for it where I did get injured. I mean, that is the end result of pushing myself through two sometimes four hour long practices with insufficient calories and just hard sparring all the time.

Victor (17:18)

the body and the state of things has a way of rubber banding you closer to where you started at.

Victor (17:59)

Victor (18:24)

Victor (18:42)

There was definitely a lot of unnecessary discomfort I had put myself through at this time because rather than appreciating the progress that I had made and pulling back and relaxing a little bit so I could coast and then make another push, I had kept pushing and pushing and pushing, and I found that.

the rubber band so to speak kind of took things for me.

Victor (19:20)

Victor (19:33)

Is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. I have been finding that life in many areas functions more like a series of sprints that connect together rather than one long steady marathon. Oftentimes there will be sections where it's going to be a quick sprint where you give everything that you have, followed by long sections of nothing.

Victor (20:13)

Victor (20:34)

There is also a form of self-disrespect here where they don't acknowledge the progress that they have made and then they just go about destroying it, usually through binge eating and falling off their activities and getting nihilistic and saying, none of this matters.

Victor (21:12)

I did have a pretty drastic weight cut where I used water manipulation to go from around 195 to 183 pounds within a day or so. Well, the cut lasted about two weeks. anyway, I looked in the mirror and was actually shocked by how lean I looked.

But I could see how this could lead to a very, very dark place and why a lot of fighters, bodybuilders, etc. etc. develop intense body dysmorphia because seeing how lean you can be when you drain yourself of water is a jarring experience.

Victor (22:21)

Victor (22:44)

Victor (23:08)

systems a little bit even though my core tracking mechanism was very very dialed in I found that I could still go out with friends and have neat social experiences around food without agonizing over my weight.

Victor (23:52)

Yeah.

Okay.

Victor (24:25)

Victor (24:44)

To hanging out with my friends and checking out all these great food places on my Google Maps. Yes, I definitely could get there faster, but honestly, it doesn't really matter how fast I get there. What do I gain from getting down to say 10 to 12% body fat a couple months earlier?

Nothing really. I don't really get a prize for it and I don't have a competition that matters enough for me to be that lean.

Victor (25:31)

Victor (25:51)

This is the importance of having a very good system and a clear plan for your goals. It is ironically a very freeing thing because I don't have the anxiety of not knowing whether or not I'm going to get to where I want to be. Imagine the opposite where you don't have a good system and you are just progressing through this process.

Just on vibes alone. When you are in this planless state, every single setback feels like the end of the world as you navigate this dark force with no clear path. Every time you are delayed or set back, it seems like the end of the world because that's another day stuck, not knowing whether or not you're going to get to where you want to be.

Victor (26:49)

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Useful guidelines for how to start off your 2027 and end your 2026.

Zheng Qinwen’s WTA 1000 comeback title headlines a dramatic weekend that also featured historic postseason wins for Steven Kwan and Natalie Nakase.

Zheng Qinwen became the first Chinese player to win the China Open singles title, defeating fourth-seeded Mirra Andreeva in two sets during Sunday’s final.  The victory capped a dramatic turnaround for Zheng, who reached a career-high No. 4 in the WTA rankings in 2025 before elbow surgery derailed her season.  Her ranking subsequently fell to No. 160 by June 2026, but a run to the US Open quarterfinals and her first WTA 1000 title at the China Open have propelled her back to No. 23.

Steven Kwan sparked the Cleveland Guardians in Game 5 to complete a three-game winning streak advancing to the ALCS.  The Guardians became the first team in MLB history to rally from down two games in a best-of-five postseason series after losing the first two at home to the Chicago White Sox.  On Saturday, Kwan’s leadoff single in the fourth preceded José Ramírez’s two run homer – the only scoring of the game.  Cleveland will matchup with the number one seed Tampa Bay Rays on Monday.

Natalie Nakase has led the second-year expansion franchise Golden State Valkyries to the WNBA Finals after sweeping the defending champion Las Vegas Aces in three games.  Game 3 was a dogfight.  The Valkyries pulled through in overtime in a team effort to defeat 5-time MVP A’ja Wilson and the Las Vegas Aces.

Daichi Kamada scored his first Premier League goal of the season to help Crystal Palace rally for a 3-1 victory over Nottingham Forest.  After Forest took an early lead, Kamada equalized in the 41st minute, with another score from teammate Jefferson Lerma coming before the half ended.

Korean American safety Kyle Hamilton ended Sunday night’s game in dramatic fashion, intercepting a pass in overtime to seal the Baltimore Ravens’ 30-23 win over the Atlanta Falcons.  Baltimore had trailed by eight points late in regulation before rallying to force overtime.  Hamilton’s game-ending play made his return to his hometown of Atlanta memorable.

Following her 2025 debut studio album, the viral-born artist kicks off her latest musical era with a deeply personal single.

Lyn Lapid looks to open a new chapter with “one good thing,” her latest single and a potential preview of her next album.  Published in September, the track marks Lapid’s first single released this year.

Her 2025 debut studio album, Buzzkill, explores loneliness, relationships and self-acceptance.  The album features singles “I’ll Be Happy When” and “Death Wish.”

The year prior she collaborated with Mxmtoon on “Back From the Dead,” Whethan on “Cruise Control,” and Grentperez on “Room For You.”

With over a quarter billion plays, her 2021 single “In My Mind” remains her most popular song on Spotify.

Lapid began posting covers online as a teenager, gaining attention after a 2018 cover of Daniel Caesar and H.E.R.’s “Best Part.”  Her original song “Producer Man” then went viral on TikTok in 2020, helping launch her recording career.

Born Katelyn Lapid, the 23-year-old singer-songwriter was raised in Maryland by parents who immigrated from the Philippines. She studied piano and violin before starting to cover songs.

With “one good thing,” Lapid is returning to the process of writing after the personal and creative transition documented on Buzzkill.  Her growing audience eagerly anticipates what her new work may lead to next.

Continuing her transition into Hollywood, the rising star adds her voice to an all-star Asian American cast for a new audio comedy.

Filipino American actress Liza Soberano joins an ensemble of Asian American talent in The Moons of LA, a coming-of-age comedy audio series premiering October 8th on Audible. Starring Ken Jeong, Randall Park and Daniel Dae Kim, the series follows a young girl obsessed with true-crime podcasts who puts her investigative skills to use trying to save her parents' marriage. Soberano joins Jae Suh Park, Jimmy O. Yang, John Cho and Sherry Cola in the production, adding to the all-star cast.

Soberano most recently lent her voice to Raissa in DreamWorks Animation's Forgotten Island, released last month, an adventure inspired by Filipino folklore. She previously made her Hollywood film debut as Taffy in the 2024 horror comedy Lisa Frankenstein, starring Kathryn Newton and Cole Sprouse. In the Philippines, Soberano rose to fame starring opposite Enrique Gil in the romantic television series Forevermore, which aired from 2014 to 2015. She played Agnes, a strawberry farmer who falls in love with a wealthy hotel heir. Her other notable projects include Alone/Together, released in 2019, in which she portrayed a college graduate reconnecting with a former boyfriend, and My Ex and Whys, a 2017 romantic comedy that became one of the country's highest-grossing films that year. She also voiced the titular supernatural detective in the 2021 fantasy series Trese.

Now 28, Soberano was born in Santa Clara, California, and moved to the Philippines at a young age following her parents' separation. Of Filipino and American descent, she began modeling at 13 before transitioning into acting. After establishing herself as a leading actress in the Philippines, she relocated to the United States in 2022 to pursue opportunities in Hollywood.

With The Moons of LA, Soberano continues to expand her career beyond Filipino television and film, taking on new roles in American productions.

Japanese and Indian curry share the same name, but have completely different flavors and cultural histories shaped by India, Britain and Japan.

Japanese curry and Indian curry may share the same name, feature the same ingredients like meat and vegetables covered in a golden-brown sauce, served with rice, but their flavors and histories are very different.

One of the biggest misconceptions is that “Indian curry” refers to one dish. India actually has hundreds of regional preparations with their own names, ingredients and techniques, such as korma, vindaloo, and sambar. The British were the ones who popularized “curry” as an umbrella term for the many saucy, spiced dishes they encountered during their colonization of India.

Indian curries are usually built in layers and the ingredients are dependent on the region and recipe. There is no universal Indian curry flavor or consistency. Northern recipes may use more dairy, wheat breads and warming spices, while coastal southern dishes frequently incorporate coconut, curry leaves and tamarind.

Japanese curry took a much more indirect journey. When curry traveled from India to Britain during the 18th century, British cooks created standardized curry powders and adapted Indian dishes into thick stews. Britain then introduced its version to Japan during the Meiji era, a time when the country was rapidly adopting Western culture. Since the dish reached Japan through Britain, curry was originally categorized as yoshoku, or Western-style food, rather than Indian cuisine.

The Japanese Imperial Navy later adopted a curry-inspired stew modeled after food served by the British Royal Navy. It combined meat and vegetables in a thick sauce, which could be prepared efficiently in large quantities and served over rice. Sailors eventually brought the dish back to their hometowns, helping it spread across Japan, leading Japanese cooks to transform the meal into something distinctly their own. A typical version is made with beef, pork or chicken with onions, potatoes and carrots, along with a curry with a gravy-like texture, which separates Japanese curry from many Indian dishes. The flavor is generally mild, savory and slightly sweeter than Indian curry.

The two cuisines are also served differently. Indian dishes may be eaten with basmati rice or breads like naan. Japanese curry is most commonly served over short-grain white rice, often accompanied by pickles and a crispy pork cutlet.

Ultimately, Japanese curry should not be treated as an imitation of Indian food. It is rather a cultural remix that traveled from India through the British Empire before becoming one of Japan’s most popular dishes. They share a name and a complicated history, but eating them side by side makes one thing clear: Japanese and Indian curry have grown into two completely different comfort foods.

During his hospital stay Chip Garrison acquires insights into the possible forces behind the First Lady's abduction and Jack Tang's brutal murder.

      Garrison was using his dinner roll to sop up all telltale traces of the beef stroganoff he had killed off while mulling what he would tell Deanne, when the phone rang.  It was Deanne, getting through on her seventh try, she said in a worried huff.  If she had been getting it on with someone richer and better hung, Garrison figured, her voice would betray something.  Far as he could tell, she sounded like she’d spent the day worried sick.  Praise the lord.

      “You told me you were going to be in your office pecking away on some report, then I hear you had your ass shot to pieces.”

      “Just a slug in my right calf.  The other guys got it worse.”

      “What a sleaze,” said Deanne.  It took Garrison a moment to follow the topic switch.  “How can he sit up there in that big white house and pretend you’re some delusional gun nut?  It burns me up!”

      “Just covering his butt.”

      “He can kiss my vote goodbye.”  Deanne’s hard breathing was all Garrison heard for a few seconds.  “What were you doing there anyway?”

      “Let’s not get into that.”

      “I swear, Chip, you’re a damned sphinx!  How can this relationship go anywhere when you never talk to me?”

      “Isn’t important is all.”

      “Then why in hell were you over there?”

      “It isn’t important as far as you and me is concerned.”

      “You fly 3,000 miles for a shootout and it doesn’t concern us?”

      “Just my job, Deanne.  With you I’m a whole different person.”

      “Long as you’re spinning off doubles, Garrison, make sure the one I get is richer and better hung—way better hung.”

      “Deanne, wait—” said Garrison, just for effect.  Richer and better hung was her way of signing off with a twist of the knife for good measure.  She sure knew how to hurt a guy.  Jack Tang had the right idea.  Who couldn’t use a stunt double to step in for the rough patches? 

      The more Garrison thought about it, the more the idea made sense for someone in Tang’s situation.  If they could track Anthony Ching, they had a shot at taking apart this mystery.  Once that was done, Garrison might put his own life back together.  Get out of the business, maybe take up computer programming so he could let Deanne listen to her heart’s content about everything he was working on.  Bend her ear about every line of code.  Force her to listen until she begged him to shut up about his work.  Then she’d appreciate Chip the Sphinx.

      “Wanna let me in on the joke?” Special agent Denton Jackson had stepped into the room and was giving Garrison a funny look.  He was holding a cardboard box.  “Messenger just brought this.  I’ll set it down right here.”

      “Thanks.  Say, Jackson, you married?”

      “Yo.”

      “She brings up shit you’d rather not talk about.  What do you do?”

      “Me?  Change the subject and start painting pie-in-the-sky pictures about the future, you know, hopes and dreams.  That mellows her out.  Helps if you remember to throw her and the kids into the picture.”

      The future?  Kids?  That was something Garrison had never thought to talk about with Deanne.  In another fourteen, fifteen years, he’d be eligible for retirement with a full pension.  He could start a second career doing something more suitable to a middle-aged man.  What that might be exactly, he wasn’t sure, but it would involve fresh air and sunshine.  Maybe start a jump school out in some patch of southern Nevada desert.  The Asian tourists flocking to Vegas had created a skydiving boom that kept growing as they went home and told their friends about their dives.  Deanne could handle bookings and maybe even learn how to fly the plane.  The kids could pack chutes, keep the jumpsuits sorted and drive the truck to untangle jumpers from cactus patches.  Next time he’d ask Deanne if she’d like to learn to fly.  And jump.  Who knew?  Maybe she’d love it so much, she’d even want to be a jumpmaster.

      The cardboard box Jackson had set on the nightstand was filled with the goodies Garrison had requested.  His SIG-Sauer 920 had been reloaded with a full clip.  It was a touching gesture, but he still ached for the company of his HK MP540 submachine gun with a 30-round clip.  But at the moment even the SIG 9mm pistol felt heavy in his hand, reminding Garrison how weak he still was from the blood loss and the surgery.   He pulled the SIG from the holster and set it on the nightstand.  On second thought, he put it on the bed beside his right hand and practiced grabbing and firing it between the eyes of the biggest, ugliest goon he could picture bursting through the door.  Reassured that he could pop off a couple of rounds before the imaginary fucker turned him into Swiss cheese, Garrison grabbed The Thread of the Silkworm and settled down for some reading.

      The book was a biography of Tsien Hsue-shen, a brilliant Chinese from Hangzhou, China who came to the US in 1935 on a Boxer Rebellion Indemnity Scholarship set up by the US to make up for having machinegunned hundreds of Chinese martial arts students who had participated in a 1904 anti-foreigner revolt.  At MIT and Cal Tech Tsien made a name for himself as a hot shit mathematician and rocket scientist.  By 1950 he was a power in the US rocketry scene.  That September Tsien fell victim to the McCarthy anti-red hysteria compounded in his case by anti-Asian racism.  The FBI locked up Tsien without probable cause and held him for 15 days until a wealthy friend posted $15,000 bail. 

      That was only the start of Tsien’s ordeal.  For the next five years the onetime golden boy of American rocketry was dogged like a convicted spy.  Around the clock agents sat in black vans parked in front of the house Tsien lived in with his beautiful wife and two handsome kids.  Tsien’s living hell ended only when the US swapped him and 93 other Chinese scientists for 61 US airmen shot down during the Korean War.  Upon his return to China, the embittered Tsien persuaded Beijing to start a missile program.  During the next 30 years Tsien headed up the development of powerful rockets that ultimately gave China the ability to target the US with nuclear missiles and become the arms merchant to the third world. 

      The parallels were hard to miss.  Both Tang and Tsien were military assets kept under close watch for years.  Garrison didn’t know what projects Tang had been heading up, but they must have represented a quantum leap in military technology for him to be so well rewarded and tightly watched.  Tang’s work was so deep black that only a handful of people outside his team could even name it.  Garrison wasn’t one of them. 

      It was after one in the morning when Garrison finished the book.  Having slept through the day, he wasn’t really tired.  He picked up the four-year-old issue of Rim.  Profiles of actors, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, a top-ranked tennis player, a novelist, a poker champ.  Unless Tang was a cardsharp, Garrison suspected his interest in the issue lay in one of the other features.  One was about young Asian Americans putting off marriage until achieving professional success.  Another poked fun at how Hollywood saw Asians.  The third was the issue’s longest, written by Rosefall himself, titled “The Invisible Superpower.”  The deck read, “Ghenghis Kahn is 700-years dead, but the dream of a great Mongol empire is alive and riding across Asia.”

      The 14-page article began with an overview of the spread of Mongol peoples before, during and after Genghis Kahn’s sweeping conquests of the thirteenth century.  Contrary to popular belief, Genghis Kahn was by no means the founder of the Mongol race.  Ten to fifteen thousand years before he was born to a minor tribal leader in the high plains just south of Lake Baikal in present-day Siberia, the Mongol race and its language originated in the Ural-Altaic region, within the borders of present-day Russia, Kazakhstan and Mongolia.  Following game and grazing lands, the Mongol tribes spread eastward into North China, Korea, the Japanese islands and up into the northeastern tip of Siberia and along the Aleutian chain into Alaska and down into North and South America. 

      As a result, several thousand years before Temudjin began painting his ambitions across the continent Mongolian peoples had developed distinct tribal cultures throughout North Asia.  Among the most advanced were the tribes who had settled in Manchuria and Korea.  Around two thousand years ago these bronze and iron-age tribes were influenced by the highly advanced Han culture of China.  The language of the Han Chinese, derived from roots completely distinct from that of the Mongols, came to overlay the Mongol dialects of the peoples of Korea and Manchuria the same way, a thousand years later, Latin would come to overlay the tongues of the Ango-Saxons, the Franks, the Celts and the Germanic tribes.

      Temudjin wasn’t the first Mongol leader to succeed in conquering the Han Chinese.  Two hundred years before he became Genghis Kahn, two brothers named Ukkonae and Akuta united the Mongol tribes of Manchuria and northeastern Korea and swept south to conquer north China, taking the Sung emperor and his sons hostage.  Their Chin Dynasty, therefore, was the first of the Mongol dynasties to rule China, the acknowledged center of Asian civilization.

      Therefore, the conquest and subjugation of China by the Central Asian high-plains rider called Genghis Kahn was actually the second Mongol dynasty to rule China.  Then again in the early 17th century the Manchurian Mongol tribes led by Tai Tsung defeated the Ming emperor and established the third of China’s Mongol dynasties, briefly called Later Chin until Tai Tsung decided ‘Ching’ had a better ring.  The Ching Dynasty ruled for nearly three centuries.  But by the early nineteenth century it had been too weakened by regional warlords to resist the jackal-like depredations of the western powers and Japan.  The Ching Dynasty quickly disintegrated after a mutiny in a fort in Wuhan on the Yangtse in the spring of 1911 lent momentum to the efforts of a Japanese-educated Cantonese named Sun Yat-sen to replace the decrepit imperial system with a modern republic.  Sun himself was in exile in Denver, Colorado when, on October 10, 1911, his followers declared the birth of the Republic of China. 

      Unfortunately, Sun’s noble objectives of throwing off the foreign yoke and instituting democratic Chinese rule translated poorly in a society that had become utterly corrupt and demoralized.  Sun’s successor in name, if not spirit, as President of the Chinese Republic was another southerner named Chiang Kai-shek.  Unfortunately, the peasantry and working class, who made up most of China’s population, overwhelmingly preferred the Marxist vision of a northern Chinese intellectual named Mao Tse-tung.  By 1949 Mao’s Soviet-equipped communist forces chased US-backed Chiang and two million of his followers out of the mainland and onto the island province of Taiwan. 

      Mao, the great revolutionary and military strategist, was a poor ruler.  His excesses culminated in the destructive and destabilizing Cultural Revolution of 1968 which destroyed any remaining hope of building a prosperous society after the communist model.  By the time an enfeebled Mao turned over rule to Premier Chou Enlai in the early 1970s, China was ripe for Chou’s Four Modernizations, carried out brilliantly after Chou’s death by his protege Deng Xiaoping with the help of a group of reform-minded Shanghainese who made up the next generation of China’s leadership.

      By 1994, when an ailing Deng was forced to give up day-to-day control, Beijing began falling under the control of the Shanghainese and other Southern Chinese who looked to Hong Kong and Guangzhou as the conduits for the capitalist infusion needed to drive China’s industrialization.  They relegated North China to the status of an economic backwater, alienating its 300 million people descended from Mongol tribes.  Ethnicity had been suppressed under communist rule.  In an emerging capitalist China, however, ethnic ties with industrialized societies formed the most important basis for business ventures.  Just as many southern Chinese turned to fellow Cantonese, Shanghainese and Fuquienese in Hong Kong, Taiwan and the United States for business tie-ups, the Northern Chinese turned to relations in Korea, the US, Taiwan and Russia.  The several hundred thousand North Chinese with family ties to South Korea became liaisons for South Korean investments and business partnerships.   

      Once again conditions in East Asia were ripe for a political shift.

      For the past century the Han Chinese and Russians, who had both suffered the Mongol yoke, had done everything in their power to suppress Mongol nationalism.  National boundaries had been settled in part with an eye toward fragmenting populations retaining a Mongol cultural identity.  So modern political boundaries hid the potential of the nation that could be formed by uniting Asia’s contiguous but politically divided Mongol populations.  The Chinese and Russian governments also actively suppressed the publication and dissemination of books on Mongol history and culture.  In south-central Russia, the Soviets had even debated banning the study of an epic poem about a Mongol leader that resembled Genghis Kahn.

      Despite that, in the past three decades a pan-Mongol national consciousness had begun spreading among intellectuals and activists in Mongolia, Siberia, North China and South Korea.  Fueling this movement was resentment at the way Mongol culture and history had been scorned and suppressed by the intellectuals of China, Russia and even the United States.  What’s more, the pan-Mongol nationalists believed modern Asian nations had become subservient to western nations, particularly the United States.  Only by rekindling the true spirit of Genghis Kahn, they argued, could Mongols, and all Asians, enjoy a respected place in the world.  In that respect, the pan-Mongol movement was ultimately aimed at returning North Asia to Mongol peoples and Asia to Asians.

      The clearest illustration of how Western powers had shaped Asia to their own political agendas, argued pan-Mongol activists, was the division of Korea.  The resulting heavily-armed frontier gave western nations a convenient pretext for projecting western military power into Asia.  Therefore, the article pointed out, the reunion of North and South Korea was a critical first step toward rebuilding a pan-Mongol state.  A united Korea was particularly important because by the end of the Twentieth Century, South Korea represented the richest, most industrialized nation with a Mongol heritage.  Its industrial base was big enough to power the rapid development of the Mongol lands of North China and Siberia. 

      A federation between a unified Korea and North China would be to the advantage of both South Korea’s giant chaebol saddled with oversized ambitions and underused industrial capacity and the powerful warlords of North China who craved more direct control over their economic destinies. 

      An East Asian federation would also find support in Siberia.  The Mongols of Siberia would be attracted for obvious ethnic and cultural reasons.  What’s more, many Siberians nominally considered distinct from the Mongols, like Tatars and Kazaks, were also branches of the Mongol family, their physical appearance and cultures showing striking similarities with other Mongol peoples.  The Siberians of European ancestry had little affection for mother Russia since so many had found themselves in Siberia after falling out of grace with Moscow.  Even those European Russians who had voluntarily settled in Siberia resented the inferior status accorded by reason of their remote Asian geography.  Most importantly, Siberians could raise their living standard by becoming fully integrated into the dynamic East Asian economy.

      With South Korea’s powerful industrial and commercial base, North China’s large, energetic population and Siberia’s vast natural resources and military arsenal, a Mongol federation would be an Asian superpower.  An East Asian Mongol federation could also attract Taiwan which was fearful of Chinese plans for forceful reunification.  Japan, the article suggested, would keenly feel its isolation in East Asia and might also be persuaded to join, either voluntarily or through economic and/or military coercion.

      The article ended by pointing out two major obstacles to the successful creation of an East Asian Mongol Federation.  First was the intransigent North Korean communist regime that stood squarely and stubbornly between South Korea and the vast potential of North China and Siberia.  The other was the United States.  There was no telling how the American military establishment might react to the formation of an East Asian Federation that would demand the withdrawal of all US forces from East Asia.  On the one hand, the US might welcome the Federation as a counter-balance and buffer against a strengthening China.  On the other, a nuclear East Asian superpower that intimidated Japan might offend the US self-image as Lord of the Pacific.  Especially after the CIA figured out that a Mongol federation would have a population of over four hundred million, over 3,000 nuclear warhead and a combined GNP of $1.5 trillion which, given the resulting economic efficiencies, could treble within ten years.  If Japan were to join, the population would be five hundred-twenty-five million and the GNP would equal that of the US in ten years. 

      The article was tough going for Garrison who, frankly, had little interest in politics and economics, especially of Asia.  And the term “Mongol” confused him.  Wasn’t every Asian a Mongol?  Or was it just the ones who lived in yurts, rode bareback and drank fermented horse milk?  The article added up to a colossal yawn, as far as he was concerned.  What had Tang found so damned fascinating about it?  He’d have to sleep on it, Garrison decided.

        It was lunchtime when Garrison woke up.  Damn if he wasn’t living on Mongol time.  He called the operator and learned, as he had suspected, that the doc had put a hold on his calls.  There were a buttload of messages, five from Deanne, three from his mother, one from Kate Sakurai.  Seeing as how she was his boss, Sakurai got the first callback.

      “Glad you’re still alive.”

      “I’m dying to leave this place, Boss.”

      “That’s between you and the doc,” said Sakurai neutrally.  “Get anything out of the reading?”

      “A splitting headache.  Why couldn’t Tang have been into Playboy and Penthouse instead?”

      “Then he’d be just another living jerkoff and you wouldn’t be digging through his stuff.”

      “Are you a Mongol?”

      “What is it with you white guys?  Are you all obsessed with race? What I am is one of the hardest working SACs in the FBI.”

      “Seriously, Kate.  Do you consider yourself a Mongol?”

      “At least you don’t call me a Chinaman like Hanson does.”

      “There’s a big boring-ass article in Rim that talks about pan-Mongol nationalism.  I’m wondering what the word ‘Mongol’ might have meant to someone like Tang.”

      “Tang was an American of mixed Chinese and Korean ancestry.  I am a Japanese American.  I don’t think of myself as a Mongol, but I know we Asians are considered a part of the Mongolian race.”

      “How would you feel if someone asked you to join a new Mongol empire?”

      “You mean a place where white people would be in the minority and ‘mongoloid’ wouldn’t be used to mean a mentally retarded person?  And where they don’t put people in concentration camps because of their ancestry?”

      “Yeah, I guess,” said Garrison uneasily, caught off guard by the heat of resentment in Sakurai’s tone.  That alone gave him some idea of why Tang might have been keen on the Mongol empire article—especially in light of his interest in the sad saga of Tsien Hsue-shen.

      “Sure, it would interest me,” said Sakurai after some thought.  “At the same time I’d be concerned that my Japanese ancestry might be held against me by the Chinese and Koreans.  In the end, I probably wouldn’t want to leave everything behind to start a whole new life.”

      “How do you feel about Genghis Kahn?”

      “He kicked a lot of medieval white European butt, didn’t he?  Anyone who brings respect to the Asian race has my vote.”

      “He had Tang’s too, apparently,” said Garrison.  “The article talks about Korea, North China, Siberia and Taiwan—exactly the places Tang was talking to.  Be interesting to see if Ching went to any of those places.”

      “The State Department computer says Anthony Ching left San Francisco for Paris via New York.  From there, he hopped a flight to Ankara, Turkey.  We had to get that part from CIA.  Don’t worry—we didn’t link Ching with the First Lady abduction.  Where he went from Ankara, CIA has Turkish intelligence tracking.”

      “What the hell would Ching want with Turkey?  Unless he was just trying to cover his tracks.”

      “Which he sure would have wanted to do if he were hiding from whoever had cut up Tang.”

      “Did you check when the ticket was issued?”

      “Nine-oh-five, a half hour before the flight departed.”

      “Amazing,” said Garrison, working the automatic bed up to sitting position, “how quickly Ching split.  You figure it would have taken at least thirty-five, forty minutes just to grab his passport, rush to the airport and buy a ticket.  Especially if he had to use the secret tunnel to leave the house.  That means he must have found out about the murder the minute it happened.”

      “You’re right.  Chen said Tang had called her around eight to say he was running late.  The First Lady was abducted at eight-fifteen.  A few minutes after that Chen left for Tang’s house.  Driving time from the Gold Lion is seventeen minutes.  So she must have found Tang’s body around eight-forty.  Even assuming Tang was killed right after he called Chen, and the butchering was done efficiently in say fifteen minutes, that leaves maybe a five-minute window for Ching to have stumbled across Tang’s body and left for the airport in time to buy the ticket at five after nine.  Seems likely Ching was there to see or hear Tang being killed.  Or,” said Sakurai, her voice suddenly lowering almost to a whisper, “he knew about it in advance.”

      “You mean like set it up?” 

      Sakurai’s voice had taken on new urgency.  “Think about it, Garrison.  The timing was exquisite—the interview, the call to Chen, the abduction, the murder, Ching’s flight out—boom, boom, boom, boom.  That says advance planning, not chance and panic.”

      “Ching would have known the timing of Tang’s comings and goings better than anyone, especially if Tang was using him as a double.”  Suddenly Garrison recalled the total absence of any sign of struggle.  “It would have been easy for Ching to catch Tang by surprise and kill him.”

      “That would explain another detail.  Remember Dynasty Dry Cleaners?  You had the number in your little notebook.  I called there.  The owner has no unclaimed suits of Tang’s.  Then I went back and checked Tang’s closet—”

      “And saw the gaps where three suits should have been.”

      “It wouldn’t make sense for Ching to see or hear Tang getting murdered, then rush into the closet to pack a couple of suits and a couple of pairs of shoes before heading out to the airport.”

      “Not likely,” Garrison agreed.  “He had to have known in advance.  He probably had his suitcase packed before it happened.”

      “Makes sense to me,” said Sakurai.  “He has to have been in on Tang’s murder.”

      “So if we catch him, we may figure out who’s behind this whole thing.”  Garrison was getting too excited to sit still.  “Who grabbed the First Lady and who sent those goons.  Who were those goons anyway?”

      “Not a nice bunch,” said Sakurai.  “The two you were partying with at the Tang place flew out from Houston.  Both had done time, one for armed robbery and aggravated assault, the other for manslaughter during an altercation.  No known employment, though we found a lot of cash in their pockets and in their apartments.  The third one who went to the hospital to perform euthanasia on you and your buddy was clean.  No ID on him.  I’d say he was one high-priced hitman.  Judging by his hands and clothes, he’s an artist, never worked an honest day in his life.”

      Garrison heard a phone chirping on Sakurai’s end, her cellphone by the sound of it.  “Hang on,” she said and took the other call.  “Can’t you get a little help from KGB?” she said.  Silence.  “Doesn’t hurt to ask,” she insisted and beeped off.  “You there?” she said, getting back on Garrison’s call.  “That was Langley.  Apparently Ching laid over in Anakara for just a few hours, then caught an Aeroflot flight to Moscow.  No connecting flights, but that doesn’t mean anything since he was trying to cover his tracks.  Langley says the Russians won’t help us track Ching.”

      “If his travels have anything to do with the people Tang was talking to, he may have gone to Siberia.  Some town called Irkutsk according to the NSA recordings of Tang’s calls.”

      “I’ll see if CIA has anyone around there.”

      “I’m a little nervous about us getting the CIA so involved in this.”

      “Told them Ching’s an embezzler.  Embezzlers bore them.”

      “But they know your office is investigating the abduction.”

      “We send them lots of trace requests, maybe two dozen a week.  Far as they know, Ching is just some guy who skipped out to Turkey.  We’ve got our own liaison people in fifteen major cities around the world.  Ankara, unfortunately, isn’t one of them.”

      “Any luck with Alice Chen or the housekeeper?”

      “We’re talking to anyone who might have had contact with the housekeeper.  Nothing useful so far, except a few vague physical descriptions from tradespeople.  No sign of Alice Chen having left the country.  But seems our boy Rosefall did skip out to Seoul, with his whole family.  Just one step ahead of Schumacher’s people.  Thing is, the day after he saw Tang, his business account was wired $500,000 blind through a Hong Kong bank.  I have our Hong Kong office trying to trace it.  Rosefall took some out before Schumacher got a freeze order served on the bank.”

      “Damn.  And we all thought Rosefall was a red herring.”

      “Doesn’t mean anything.  In his shoes, I might have skipped out too.  The big wire is a surprise, but there could be another explanation.”

      “Maybe he sold the magazine.  Or got an investor.”

      “No new UCC filing on the company to reflect a change of ownership.  Nothing yet anyway.”

      “Now that I know about the wire,” said Garrison, struggling to fit Rosefall into the very spotty jigsaw puzzle floating around in his head, “it does seem a little suspicious, the way the interview was timed.” 

      Garrison heard the cellphone ringing again on Sakurai’s end. 

      “Hang on,” said Sakurai and picked up.  “Okay,” he heard her say and beep off.  “Just found Alice Chen.  In the trunk of her car in the airport parking lot.  Been dead at least a day, maybe two.  Twice through the back of the head with what ballistics thinks is a 9mm.  Maybe a Beretta like the ones your party animals were packing in their jackets.”

      Garrison closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  “Now I’m really curious what Tang was up to.  Must have been big as all hell.”

      “No chance of learning anything from DARPA or the DOD.  Their security boys won’t even let us go inside his access-coded room after the fingerprints were taken.  One of our guys heard the sheriff’s fingerprint guy say something about a flight simulator inside.”

      “Maybe his Gilroy deep black team was working on some flight-control software,” said Garrison.  “Must be sizzling hot.  Ever track down the classified facility?”

      “Located the building at the end of a dirt road, barbed-wire fence, guards, unmarked, not a window on the place.  Looks like a warehouse.  No chance of us getting near it.  Tried our heatscopes for laughs but the place is steel-lined.  Our long-range directional mikes didn’t work either.”

      “Something tells me we’d better find Ching and Rosefall and the housekeeper before they do,” said Garrison.  “Let me go after them, Kate before they end up like Alice Chen.”

      “Seems to me you’re the leading candidate for a couple of new holes in your head, Garrison.  I’m sure as hell not sending you out gimpy.  You’re staying put until your doc returns you to full party status.”

      “Goddamn it, Kate, I feel like a new man already.”

      “Tell it to the doc.  I’m gonna sign off and see if our pheromone gnomes have come up with anything yet.”

      Garrison felt like a conscientious objector on the eve of armageddon.  It just wasn’t right to be laming around when innocent civilians were stopping bullets.  He buzzed the nurses’ station and asked for the doctor.  A few minutes later the blond doctor with the pretty blue eyes breezed in and checked his chart.

      “Not bad, Chester,” she said cheerily, giving him an approving nod.  “You’ve been a good boy.”

      “Can I leave, doc?”

      “Absolutely not.”

      “How about tomorrow?”

      “You were real lucky.  The slug didn’t touch bone.  Still, I’d be thinking in terms of Tuesday or Wednesday, if you stay real good.”

      “The office needs me pretty bad,” said Garrison. 

      “To do what?  Play cops and robbers?”

      “Naw, nothing like that,” said Garrison with a deprecating wave.  “See, there’s this misconception going around that we FBI agents engage in a lot of running around and shooting.  Completely false, Doc.  Most of the time we’re sitting at our desks answering calls, filling out forms, pecking on our computers.  I probably won’t even use my legs.”

       “Office work, huh?”

      “Don’t take this the wrong way, Doc, but your eyes are violet, like Liz Taylor in those old movies.”

      The doctor looked at him askance.  “We’ll talk again tomorrow.  You just stay off your feet.  And relax.”

      This must be what hell is like, Garrison thought as he sank helplessly back into bed.  If he had a double, he’d tuck him into this bed while he snuck out and tracked down Ching and Rosefall.  His gut told him it wouldn’t be long before the action would be heading their way.