Do you think they're ever going to fire any of their photon torpedos? What is a "photon torpedo" anyway? It's just light in torpedo form, right? Photons can't do anything. I mean, they can, like, make a ship cruise through space if it has solar sails, but that's silly nonsense. I want to see a space ship explode because someone shot a tube full of green laser pointers at it. Especially if it's a ship full of goblins. Let that shit just fucking explode, man. I want to do light-based heroism, and sometimes that heroism involves shooting missiles at goblin-filled space ships. I'll be chillin' there on the bridge (like the legend that I am) fuckin' shreddin' on my tool-derived lute while Janeway launches a salvo into the nearest sardine can full of little green aliens. And there's nothing anyone can do about it, especially as I wail on my whammy bar. The most important thing here is that they're photon torpedos, which are about as effective as turning on a bright lightbulb in a room full of people whose eyes are adjusted to the dark. That'll stun 'em for a second, which is all the time you need to stomp, stomp, stomp on them and steal their souls. Then once you're in frog mode, you can talk about how you saw everyone else doing it and there was no way you were just going to sit there and not be a part of this. No way, sister. Not in a blink of a hell's eyeball. An eye, you may be thinking, that you've never seen on me before. And now that you look a little bit closer — hey! What the heck? How long have you had that? Has it been there the whole time? I can't remember if it's a part of your character model or not... But I don't think it is. I don't think that pocket has alwa — is that an eyeball? Did you have a fucking eyeball in there? Yeah man, that's my Hell's Eyeball. Look at it blink. Nah man, I don't want to see a disembodied eyeball stare at me. But it's so cute! No. That's nasty. That's Jeremiah! Jeremiah? Yeah man, you have a name, right? That's his. You named your eyeball Jeremiah? No, it came with the name. I guess someone in hell named it that. Named him that. He's a he. And he's named Jeremiah. Anyway, he's been there the whole time even if you didn't notice it.  

Covered this episode: 

Star Trek: Voyager S01E14 — Jetrel 

Adventure Time S02E01 — It Came From the Nightosphere 

Adventure Time S02E02 — The Eyes  

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