Vulnerability Hangover

i dont LOVE pain… obviously. and i’m assuming you don’t either.

BUT what i’ve learned from my first full year post-grad, hopping around jobs & living situations & adding on new friends while seeing others less… is that (and prepare for a massively corny takeaway here, everyone) the hard seasons in my life are always the ones i look back on as significant markers of my growth.

what i’ve begun to recognize is that these growing pains, as painful and uncomfortable as they may be… push me forward exponentially faster and further than anything comfortable could. the pain makes me stronger & ultimately, these hardships provide me with experiential evidence to show my future self one day when fear convinces me of my inability to make it through the next hard thing that comes along (because trust, it’s coming)

with time & age & good reflection, i’ve been discovering a path to finding comfort in the uncomfortable. peace in the pain. the hope of growth moves me forward. and more than any of that, the joy of female friendship carries me ahead. and honestly, especially friendship with my bestest friend sadie.

i hope you get a little taste of all of this and more in the episode. and i hope you leave with a bit more gratitude for ur growing pains.

with love, caroline

being in ur 20s in the digital age is an uphill battle… literally.

that uphill battle is something I once heard referred to as cringe mountain, and the term has stuck with me ever since.

we are all in one of three positions in relation to said mountain: 

1. at the bottom (pre-climb)
2. on the climb (try-hard & embarassing as it may be)
3. on the other side of the mountain (fulfilling ur dreams)

i know where i want to be… because in my experience, to be cringe is to be free. and if u think me using that phrase is cringe, then i love you but it may be time for a vocabulary & mentality reset<3 okay bye now but pls listen ty ily

tis the season of shamelessly inviting uncomplicated joy, growing pains, and self-induced hangovers into your life. also, for me, a season marked by embracing the duality of being sick to my stomach that the implied “you” are inevitably going to perceive me… whilst also recognizing that it's exactly what i’ve willingly signed up for with this whole thing. 

anyways, here’s a little why behind the question i’m sure some of you are asking: “do we really need another person to start a podcast?” & i’m not in the business of trying to prove myself to all of you, but if you’d listen to my little voice memo, it will hopefully help you understand my why just a bit.

*side note: i saw a video once of brene brown speaking about something called a vulnerability hangover. the term immediately struck me. & sat with me. & really, genuinely inspired me. because of her definition, i was finally able to articulate that awful, post-opening up, gut-wrenching feeling. as a chronic oversharer… i know the feeling all too well. i've wanted to center a podcast around the concept ever since. what a dream that i'm finally able to make it happen! & what a dream that there are so many brilliant researchers putting niche human experiences into words that give us a more complete understanding of ourselves. i'm no emotions researcher (yet), but i'll do my best to do the same:)

Ashley Abercrombie is an author, podcast host, and champion of people. She has written two books, Love is the Resistance and Rise of the Truth Teller. Additionally, she co-hosted a podcast titled ‘Why Tho’ from 2018 to 2022. Ashley was in ministry in the nonprofit justice world for over 20 years, and she recently pivoted to the creative world. Ashley was raised in North Carolina by a single mom, and her experience growing up largely informed how she understood the term feminism. 

In this episode, we discuss the power of advocacy, while emphasizing the importance of picking your battles. We are a fragile people, and fighting tooth and nail to get every person on our side of history for every single issue is only wasting our own time and energy. We can only do so much. In the midst of the chaos of this world and the energy-sucking work of disagreeing… disagreeing… disagreeing, we talk about the importance of leaning on your people. Finding good people that see us and love us as we are. They fight for us. They fight with us. This makes all of this a lot easier, and it restores some of the energy that was sucked out from all of that fighting.

Sources:

• "Is Less Really More?" An essay from my substack, After Hours https://ashleyabercrombie.substack.com/p/is-less-really-more 

• Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans  https://www.amazon.com/Year-Biblical-Womanhood-Liberated-Covering/dp/1595553673 

• Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible's View on Women by Sarah Bessey https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Feminist-Invitation-Revisit-Bibles/dp/1476717257

• Prey Tell: Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up by Tiffany Bluhm https://www.amazon.com/Prey-Tell-Silence-Women-Everyone/dp/1587434784

• We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie https://www.chimamanda.com/we-should-all-be-feminists/

• Favorite Ted Talk “The Danger of a Single Story” https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story/comments

• Why Tho Podcast: "Why Women Are Still Not Equals Tho" https://podcasts.apple.com/lb/podcast/why-women-are-still-not-equals-tho/id1437939954?i=1000434667357 

• The Will to Change by Bell Hooks

• https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Will-to-Change/bell-hooks/9780743456081

• Love is the Resistance: Learn to Disagree, Resolve the Conflicts You’ve been Avoiding and Create Real Change by Ashley Abercrombie

• Rise of the Truth Teller: Own Your Story, Tell it Like it is, and Live With Holy Gumption by Ashley Abercrombie

Dr. Jennifer Buckley is an Associate Professor of Practical Theology at Azusa Pacific University. After attending Azusa Pacific University for her undergraduate degree, Dr. Buck received her master's at Fuller Seminary and then her doctoral from Claremont Graduate. She was raised in a Quaker Christian church in Friendswood, Texas, so much of her Christian education was formed around the promotion of women being encouraged into leadership positions in Christian spaces. Thus, when she arrived at higher education, she fought for a more equality-based understanding of women’s role in the church through an Egalitarian interpretation of scripture. 

In this episode, Dr. Buck addresses three of the main arguments employed by those who do not believe in elevating the female voice in Christian spaces. By offering context into different scriptures that have been used to argue against women in Christian leadership, Dr. Buck opens the possibility for a new and fresh understanding of scripture– one that seeks to liberate and promote rather than silence and oppress— this is the word of God that we know and love. This is the Jesus we know and love.

Sources:

• Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church by Nijay Gupta 

• A Church of Her Own: What Happens When a Woman Takes the Pulpit by Sarah Sentilles

•  To Be Welcomed as Christ: Pursuing a Hospitable Evangelicalism and the portion “Herstory: Reclaiming Women's Voices for the Evangelical Tradition” by Dr. Jennifer Buck

Dr. Carol Lynn Patterson has been practicing ministry for over 20 years. She has been in pastoral ministry for the last 15 where she served on the staff of a large church; she has been the transitional pastor of a small church, a regional pastor within the regional denomination of American Baptist churches, and she is currently the associate pastor of a church with 5,000 members. 

Dr. Patterson offers insight into the reality of the intersectionality of race and gender for Black women in the Christian church, especially as it pertained to how it affected her experience becoming a licensed minister. She explains why ‘feminism’ has a history of excluding Black women and therefore why ‘womanism’ is a more inclusive term that centers women’s stories while ensuring the stories centered aren’t specific to only allow space for white women. She also talks about how so much church hurt, as valid as it may be, could be prevented by living out the hospitality as it is defined by the gospel. 

Sources: 

• Beyond the Stained Glass Ceiling: Equipping & Encouraging Female Pastors by Christine A. Smith

• Marvin McMickle

• Robert C. Rogers

Music: Avocado on Hash Browns by baegel

In this episode, I am joined by my sweet, talented, and creative friend Ava Thigpen to have a conversation about burnout. In 2022, burnout seems to be affecting people at a more intense and more frequent rate than ever. Most people I talk to about this subject confirm that they have experienced some level of burnout within the past few years. 

SO, In a post-covid world, how do we navigate a new pandemic of widespread exhaustion? 

One point of comfort is that we really and truly are in this together. You are not alone in this feeling of complete emotional fatigue bordering on despair.

In our 45 minutes together, Ava and I unpack our personal experiences with varying levels of burnout. We also take some time to reflect on various experts' research on the matter. An incredibly helpful source that informed much of our conversation was Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. 

I loved having Ava, who is and has been an artist for most of her life, on the podcast to discuss the ways in which we can recognize early signs of burnout and work to prevent them. We also offer advice on how to get out of the kind of burnout that feels so completely suffocating.

I have honestly listened to this episode 3 times since we recorded just to remember all the useful bits of wisdom that were dropped in an attempt to pull myself out of mild bots of burnout. Hope you guys enjoy it just as much.

Let's dive in!

Song: Much Too Much by Lennon Stella

In this episode, I am joined by my friend Carson Thorpe! 

Carson bravely shares her experience with addiction & substance abuse of prescribed drugs. Throughout the episode, I am repeatedly and consistently astounded by her honesty and authenticity as she reflects on all of her feelings surrounding her struggle with addiction.

We cover so many topics under the general umbrella of addiction, so there is something for everyone in this episode.

Some things we discuss include the harm of stereotyping, the experience of hitting rock bottom, mental health first aid, college's effect on addictive behavior, the isolation of struggling with addiction as a young person, and why reaching out for help is the bravest thing any of us can do.

What I can promise from this episode is a unique perspective that will offer you the chance to elongate your spectrum of empathy. 

Let's Dive in!

Song: Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

In this episode, I am joined by one of my best friends in the whole world, Emma Grace Condon. As two people on opposite ends of the spectrum in regards to approaching conflict, we provide perspective for each extreme, and how everyone can search for a healthy medium response to conflict in their own lives. 

Conversation flows and bouncing ideas off one another feels safe. This episode was one of my favorites to record & I think it will be one of the most enjoyable to listen to. Conflict is present in each of our lives, and understanding why others approach it the way they do can help us empathize on a deeper level, and resolve conflict more effectively.

Let's dive in!