I don’t like flip-flops. I have a strongly held belief that flip-flops are not shoes. So many people have abandoned respectable, responsible choices like loafers, oxfords, and wedgies that we have a crisis in this country of loose, flip-flop-wearing behavior.
It’s unseemly. It’s a radical Democrat plot that’s encouraging vulnerable young women to make other disgraceful clothing choices — camisoles, halter neck sleeveless tops with dangling iridescent rhinestones, and pajama bottoms in public!
Banning flip-flops will restore this country’s moral character. I am tired of having to endure the sight of these loose-fitting not-shoes in grocery stores, restaurants, and churches! It’s a disgrace. Any politician who pledges to purge this unhealthy and unsightly footwear from our streets has my vote. Only a nationwide ban will save us. Stop the horror! Stop the evil!
OK, it’s true, I really don’t like flip-flops. But other people should be free from my strongly held beliefs. You have the right to believe whatever you want to. The rest of us should be free to live without having to deal with your beliefs.
Wrapping your strongly held belief in religion doesn’t make it more serious. It makes it more dangerous. Unlike fashion, religion has a different place in society. Wars have not been fought over clothing choices, but wars have been fought over religion. I wish more people would frame the things that are happening in the US as a fight to preserve our freedom from religion.
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