Do you want to have a great marriage? One way to have that is to regularly ask yourself and then ask you spouse the "connection question." Hi, I'm Kelly, pastor, police chaplain and marriage coach with another tool that will help you have the lifelong marriage you really want.  The connection question is basically, "how's our connection?" 

Other ways you could ask that are: 

1. How are we doing as a couple? 

2. Is there anything you want to see different or changed in our relationship? 

3. What do you like about our marriage? 

4. Is there something you would like to see more of in our marriage? 

5. Is there something that you would like to see less of or stop that’s occurring in our marriage? 

6. What adjustments can we make to improve our marriage? 

7. Is there anything you would like to talk to me about? 

8. Are you satisfied with the quality of our connection? 

9. What ideas do you have about strengthening our marriage? 

Asking the connection question places your marriage in reality and not fantasy. It's looking at how things are really going, not how do you hope or wish they were.  Asking this question is not an act of fear or paranoia, rather a desire to look honestly at what is going on. Then when you see the reality of your marriage, you can take action: repair the damage, get help from a coach, reconnect, etc.   Asking the connection question keeps you from being overconfident and assuming things are great when they might not be. I hope this helps. 

If you'd like some help with your marriage, comment below or email me at [email protected]