Episode 340 – Actively listening to what someone else is saying can be incredibly hard, but it comes with enormous benefits. How do effective leaders manage it?

Hello, this is Bill Rainaldi, with another edition of Security Mutual’s SML Planning Minute. In today’s episode, want to be an effective business leader? Learn how to listen.

Listening is one of the most underrated business skills. Learning how to listen effectively is a difficult task, but it can pay enormous dividends in a business situation. A 2022 article in Forbes magazine suggests that, while it’s easy to see how challenging it can be to carefully listen to someone, we often fail to grasp the huge benefits that come with it.[1]

This is what’s known as “active listening.” Active listening is defined as “a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker.”[2] If we are not making the effort to actively listen, there’s a good chance we will misunderstand what the other person is saying. And the consequences can be huge.

Active listening has been shown to be effective in building relationships and generating trust.[3] To be a good listener, you need to learn to stop speaking and be willing to give someone your full attention. Simply put, silence can be an underestimated source of understanding and power.

Effective listening seems to be more difficult than many people realize. How many times have you heard someone say “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name…?”  More likely, it’s not that they’ve forgotten your name, but they never actually learned it in the first place. It’s very difficult to learn someone’s name when you’re not actively listening. It all happens very quickly, and it requires a certain amount of concentration.

Just how good are you at this special, learned skill? A recent article on LinkedIn suggests some of the ways that we can be both good and bad at listening, and some practical steps we can take to improve this learned skill.[4]

The author, financial psychologist Dr. Charles Chaffin, outlines five ways to be a good listener along with five ways to be a bad listener.[5]

The good news first. Here are Dr. Chaffin’s suggestions:

Now the bad news. Here are five things that terrible listeners tend to do:

The truth is that, perhaps more than anything else, the person you’re speaking to simply wants to be heard and understood.  Recognizing that can go a long way in generating rapport and trust and making yourself more successful.

[1] Zenger, Jack. “The Unforeseen Rewards Of Good Listening.” Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2022/05/19/the-unforeseen-rewards-of-good-listening/ (accessed May 23, 2025).

[2] Grande, Dianne. “Active Listening Skills.” psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills (accessed May 27, 2025).

[3] Zenger, Jack. “The Unforeseen Rewards Of Good Listening.” Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2022/05/19/the-unforeseen-rewards-of-good-listening/ (accessed May 23, 2025).

[4] Chaffin, Charles. “Listen! 5 Ways to be a BAD Listener..and a GOOD Listener.” LinkedIn.com. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/listen-5-ways-bad-listener-good-dr-charles-chaffin-r15we/ (accessed May 23, 2025).

[5] Id.

[6] Id.

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