Want to Be an Effective Business Leader? Learn How to Listen.
Episode 340 – Actively listening to what someone else is saying can be incredibly hard, but it comes with enormous benefits. How do effective leaders manage it?
More SML Planning Minute Podcast Episodes
Transcript of Podcast Episode 340
Hello, this is Bill Rainaldi, with another edition of Security Mutual’s SML Planning Minute. In today’s episode, want to be an effective business leader? Learn how to listen.
Listening is one of the most underrated business skills. Learning how to listen effectively is a difficult task, but it can pay enormous dividends in a business situation. A 2022 article in Forbes magazine suggests that, while it’s easy to see how challenging it can be to carefully listen to someone, we often fail to grasp the huge benefits that come with it.[1]
This is what’s known as “active listening.” Active listening is defined as “a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker.”[2] If we are not making the effort to actively listen, there’s a good chance we will misunderstand what the other person is saying. And the consequences can be huge.
Active listening has been shown to be effective in building relationships and generating trust.[3] To be a good listener, you need to learn to stop speaking and be willing to give someone your full attention. Simply put, silence can be an underestimated source of understanding and power.
Effective listening seems to be more difficult than many people realize. How many times have you heard someone say “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name…?” More likely, it’s not that they’ve forgotten your name, but they never actually learned it in the first place. It’s very difficult to learn someone’s name when you’re not actively listening. It all happens very quickly, and it requires a certain amount of concentration.
Just how good are you at this special, learned skill? A recent article on LinkedIn suggests some of the ways that we can be both good and bad at listening, and some practical steps we can take to improve this learned skill.[4]
The author, financial psychologist Dr. Charles Chaffin, outlines five ways to be a good listener along with five ways to be a bad listener.[5]
The good news first. Here are Dr. Chaffin’s suggestions:
Learn to “mirror” what someone else is saying to you. In other words, restate what that other person is telling you. It helps clear up any misunderstanding, and demonstrates for that individual that you are, in fact, hearing them.Ask questions. In fact, Dr. Chaffin suggests that you ask, “one more question than you think you need to.”[6] It’s a way to tell the other person that you understand what they’re saying.Use what are called “micro-validations.” A simple “That sounds like fun” or “Makes sense to me” in the middle of a conversation can really help.Insert an occasional pause. You don’t have to respond right away when someone says something. It sends a message to the other person that you are actually considering what they are saying.Pay attention to your body language. Dr. Chaffin suggests maintaining eye contact and keeping an open posture. And ignore your phone during the conversation. It’s a way of telling the other person that what they’re saying is important.Now the bad news. Here are five things that terrible listeners tend to do:
Talking too much about yourself. These days, it seems that so many people have a tendency to hijack a conversation. It can be very frustrating for the other person.Interrupting. This is a tough one. It’s easy to jump in with a solution before you really understand someone’s problem. There’s no need to rush.Getting ahead of yourself, or as Dr. Chaffin puts it, “Listening to respond, not understand.” It’s best not to think about your response until you’ve fully deciphered what the other person is saying.Not paying attention. You can acknowledge what they’re saying all you want, but so many of us do this as a form of lip service while distracted by something else, like a computer screen, a cell phone alert or a random thought.Dismissing someone else’s emotions. This is a trust-killer.The truth is that, perhaps more than anything else, the person you’re speaking to simply wants to be heard and understood. Recognizing that can go a long way in generating rapport and trust and making yourself more successful.
[1] Zenger, Jack. “The Unforeseen Rewards Of Good Listening.” Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2022/05/19/the-unforeseen-rewards-of-good-listening/ (accessed May 23, 2025).
[2] Grande, Dianne. “Active Listening Skills.” psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills (accessed May 27, 2025).
[3] Zenger, Jack. “The Unforeseen Rewards Of Good Listening.” Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2022/05/19/the-unforeseen-rewards-of-good-listening/ (accessed May 23, 2025).
[4] Chaffin, Charles. “Listen! 5 Ways to be a BAD Listener..and a GOOD Listener.” LinkedIn.com. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/listen-5-ways-bad-listener-good-dr-charles-chaffin-r15we/ (accessed May 23, 2025).
More SML Planning Minute Podcast Episodes
This podcast is brought to you by Security Mutual Life Insurance Company of New York, The Company That Cares®. The content provided is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Information is provided in good faith. However, the company makes no representation or warranty of any kind regarding the accuracy, reliability, or completeness of the information.
The information presented is designed to provide general information regarding the subject matter covered. It is not to serve at legal, tax or other financial advice related to individual situations, because each person’s legal, tax and financial situation is different. Specific advice needs to be tailored to your situation. Therefore, please consult with your own attorney, tax professional and/or other advisors regarding your specific situation.
To help reach your goals, you need a skilled professional by your side. Contact your local Security Mutual life insurance advisor today. As part of the planning process, he or she will coordinate with your other advisors as needed to help you achieve your financial goals and objectives. For more information, visit us at SMLNY.com/SMLPodcast. If you’ve enjoyed this podcast, tell your friends about it. And be sure to give us a five-star review. And check us out on LinkedIn, YouTube and X (formally Twitter). Thanks for listening, and we’ll talk to you next time.
Tax laws are complex and subject to change. The information presented is based on current interpretation of the laws. Neither Security Mutual nor its agents are permitted to provide tax or legal advice.
The applicability of any strategy discussed is dependent upon the particular facts and circumstances. Results may vary, and products and services discussed may not appropriate for all situations. Each person’s needs, objectives and financial circumstances are different, and must be reviewed and analyzed independently. We encourage individuals to seek personalized advice from a qualified Security Mutual life insurance advisor regarding their personal needs, objectives, and financial circumstances. Insurance products are issued by Security Mutual Life Insurance Company of New York, Binghamton, New York. Product availability and features may vary by state.
SubscribeApple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidPandoraBlubrryby EmailTuneInDeezerRSSMore Subscribe Options