⚠️TW: Quick content note before we start, this episode includes discussion of abusive relationships, trauma, and healing. Please listen with care and take breaks if you need to.
In this episode of The Neurodivergent Creative, Caitlyn explores what it means to want something, and why that can feel so complicated when you’ve been shaped by trauma, control, and fear.
Starting with an Oracle card pull (because sometimes the universe really does have jokes), this episode unfolds into a conversation about control vs surrender, karmic release, and the quiet, radical act of letting yourself live without micromanaging every possible outcome.
💬"You cannot learn in advance what you need to learn from experience." - Caitlin Liz Fisher
March holds weight. It marks the anniversary of their leaving an abusive relationship, and with that comes reflection—not just on what happened, but on how much has changed since. And maybe more importantly: how much has been reclaimed.
What We Explore in This Episode

• The idea that you cannot learn in advance what you need to learn through experience
• Why trying to control everything can disconnect you from your own desires
• The difference between wanting something and controlling others
• How trauma can make desire feel dangerous or morally wrong
• Relearning how to trust yourself after years of self-abandonment
• The impact of abusive relationships on decision-making and autonomy
• The slow, brave process of becoming yourself again

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You don’t have to get it right before you begin. You don’t have to control everything to be safe. And you don’t have to earn your way back into your own life.
Go make weird art. Stay hydrated. And let yourself want things again!💜