The December 20 Warrior connection was a discussion on how to make the best of the Christmas - New Years holidays given the unique stressors military families encounter.Life After Trauma #22 - Effects of living in a war zoneVietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan are civil wars that are different from each other in many ways, but similar in others. They may be different in tactics, weaponry and terrain, but the traumatic scale they bring to our troops are the same. Everyone who has gone there has been effected in some way. Physically, emotionally and even morally through the trauma of warfare. In a civil war, there is no real way to tell the good guys from the bad. There  will be times when you get into a battle and find  the enemy you killed were people you thought were your friends. You realize you are living among an unseen enemy where you can never trust anyone other than those in your own unit. (P. 68,69 TNEW.) This kind of revelation causes unit cohesion, but it also causes you to become hyper-vigilant. You never know when or where the enemy will show up again as it tends to put you on high alert all of the time. It is hard to turn hyper-vigilance off once you’ve used it.Upon returning home, you will watch people more carefully, sit in Restaurants with your back to the wall whenever possible and even show caution when seeing a dead animal or a cardboard box on the side of the road, never knowing if it is an IED that‘s about to explode.The friendships you make in combat zones are good and necessary for troop cohesion, but they can work against close family relationships, if you’re not careful. You need to keep in touch with your loved ones back home who are supporting you. Remember…“They who stand and wait are also serving.” If it were not for my dad praying for me through my days of close calls and near misses in the “meat grinder” area of Vietnam, I would have never made it back home again. P. 177, 223-224 TNEW.Upon returning home, you may experience nightmares, keeping distance and mistrust of everyone, depression, hypertension, difficulty sleeping, a need for isolation and irritation over the smallest of matters. Divorce rate for Vietnam veterans is well over 90%. That’s not a good record to hold. A good marriage is not a 50% - 50% partnership. It is a 100% - 100% full participation if it is going to work and thrive. A good spouse is the best thing you’ve got working for you. I also take my family to church . It’s a great place to worship God, and a good place to hang around good, decent, honest people, for the most part!  I’ve found that who I hang around has a lot to do with my habits and lifestyle. All of these symptoms can cause a miserable life,  along with problems to your marriage, career and basic happiness.You are an American Patriot and you deserve better than that. Those I served with did not study the concepts of “no greater love than this…that a man would lay down his life for his friend, They lived it. Many continue to suffer today because they served their country yesterday. They can never escape their past, in the future and some things will be with us forever. We’ll just have to do the best we can, and vigorously fight an enemy we can’t see. (PTSD.)First admit you might have a problem and you might need to seek help. Involve your spouse in your recovery. They supported you while you were gone, they want to help and support you now. Inquire for help through  Vet Centers 910-703-0699, the local Veterans Administration Office and other caring Health Care Professionals. Most problems I have experienced since Vietnam are caused by my adrenalin disorder. When something “triggers” an adrenalin rush, I have a panic attack. Increased heart rate, nervousness, tunnel vision, ect.I have to use my “Coping Skills” (P.234 TNEW) I’ve developed over the years to help me calm back down. Some things like using a nasal inhaler will help neutralize the adrenalin effects. I have written about these Coping Skills in my book “The Neve