Liverpool's life as champions didn't get off the a great start as they slumped to a humbling 4-0 defeat at the hands of Manchester City...who then went on to lose 1-0 to Southampton! Elsewhere, the United resurrection continued with an attractive 5-2 victory over Bournemouth. West Ham battled VAR and ran out winners against Chelsea, and Arsenal...managed two back to back clean sheets!

Plus, there was a dude jerking off on Zoom in a Mexican league game. This sport gets weirder everyday.

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