I'm reloaded! Okay?

You m*therf*ckers think you big time? You gonna DIE big time!

Just in case you're too young to remember, before Brooklyn's Finest...we did it Carlito's Way.

Here come the pain!

Gorbachev. Putin. Drago. 

Raegan. Trump. Balboa.

RIP to the big homie Creed.

That's life. This is Living. In. A. Mer. I. Ca.

Who's that good-looking guy? That's Chris Pine. *applause*

And that other good-looking guy? That's Tom Hardy. *slightly-louder applause*

Wait, what about that super-hot spunky successful single woman who's stuck in the middle? Oh, her? That's Reese Witherspoon. *ding*

This is her favorite movie. 

Not Reese's, necessarily.

But your girlfriend's for sure.

What's a DC comic book movie that I loved?

Okay, that's not fair. The other guys are pretty marvelous at movie-making.

But still, what's the best part about life on planet Earth?

Watching the Justice League and laughing our asses off.

Uncle Clint. A President worth protecting.

John Malkovich. Out for blood.

Do you remember when you were... In The Line Of Fire?

Alejandro's never seen the movies. Never read the books.

Charee dragged him to the amusement park. Twice.

Now it's time to submit.

Time to be baptized in the mythical aether of... Harry Potter.