I'm high as fuck right now,

At least the lights aren't on

A nice day for a walk,

[A good day for a show]

Flood warning,

Got no umbrella so—

distractions, distractions

I don't need anything like that

My whole studio fits in a paper bag

My whole damn studio fits in a paper bag!

The world used to fit in the palm of my hands

Now he lives with his dad

And he might just outweigh me

The bottle, the baby,

The savior and Satan

Tell me when to sing along

Tell me when to sing along

Return negative to sender

Meet me at the center

See me at the TMPL

Here's the crucible

Call her off or on

Say,

Ain't it a shame that

The only way you'll ever lift this

Is to sit in this soul for a minute

Let it sink in

Let me think about it for a minute

I AM GRACEFUL

AND

MAJESTIC AS A BABY HIPPOPOTAMUS

HOPPOPATAMOUS

*RHINOSAUROUS

*RHINOSAURUA

Don't bother me at the office

Pick a coffin

Put you in a sarcophagus

If you're coughing

Damn it comes slowly.

Formerly,

Yours only,

—And that's when it hit me.

Everything that I've collected in the last five years is just sitting in a hard drive on my computer.

I'm irritated, not stoned.

I'm irritated.

I'm stoned and irritated.

Do you think it'll work?

It has to!

Fuck, what was I just doing.

Before:

Fuck. I got no desk.

Desk.

Nice. Thanks.

…need a chair.

I WANT THE CHAIR WITH THE HEADREST.

I want to eat dinner.

Eat dinner. See what happens.

Ugh.

I have to leave the house first.

I need a —

Chair.

Nice. Thanks.

Sleepin on da floor.

Unh.

Sleepin on da floor

(Da floor)

Sleepin on the floor

Oh, that's how it goes

I'm on the cellar floor.

I'm on the cellar floor—

When the girl next door

Is the girl next door

And the man down stairs

Opens up your door

What was that all for?

Now I'm on all fours:

I WANT A DIVORCE.

Look, listen, Linda:

I'm going to be forward with you.

—I already told you—

Listen, Linda—listen—okay?

A took a plane to the face

A plate to the palace

Of gold, if you ask of the rabbit, or Alice

A fantasy, or fallacy as underworld would have it,

But of wonderland,

The hatter dances

Madly, grand as ever

Her entrance,

The lost wanderer,

Or wonder, the shoveler of holes

Just getting deeper,

Think of time to keep as secrets,

Laugh, but don't believe in magic

Keep them as your dreams,

Please, dear

Seconds turn to hours

Into years here

I don't have much time

(A writing assignment)

—and I'm always online

What you need,

What you want?

Hit my line

Just be careful

Cause money is time

Turn water to whine

(Wine)

Fine.

Now stands a story to be told

No whining, no crying

I am forever years old.

***** ****** ******* ** * ********* *********

Keep coughing.

Keep quiet.

I'll keep talking.

Keep texting

And I'll keep blocking

Keep cheating

And I'll keep walking

Then a walk turns to a jog

(Then a talk turns to a hug)

Trolls under bridges

Turn a princess into frog

I'm not high, my mind's foggy.

No wifi, I'm offline again

Turned off at the wrong time again

Ten Pennie's for dime again

A penny for your thoughts.

I thought I was gonna die on the way here.

I died more than 30 times in 30 years,

Now I'm here like:

What the fuck is this?

I don't want to see the future and the past at the same time,

In an old place like this

(It's too much)

And my soul's still spinning;

I swear I've never been here—

Pistol whipped into a whole new dimension

[When it's not funny anymore]

What you want me to buy?

A subscription?

A monthply box?

A smart car?

Smart water?

A prescription?

An automatic rifle?

Ammunition?

With your permission,

It becomes possible

One nation under

Okay, I gotta go

I told you I don't have much time

My body runs on automatic

So if I was there

I had to be

Here's a room full of people I swear I know

But never met before

I bet we're all dead here

Nothing but bodies and floating heads here

Fuck it, I quit man!

That's what the drummer said.

What the monkey say when they cut his tail?

MONKEY

To be fair, I just realized that “monkey” with no “k” is just “money”

Well played.

Everybody in the sauna is a God.

I told you I gotta—

I got a pickup at Whole Foods market,

I better get on the next train to nowhere

I feel like the whole world is falling

Like the sky was

Don't bother calling!

I lost all my numbers

I spent it on nonsense

And plausible

Stop it.

What.

All my payments are overdue

The rent would be late if it wasn't just paid

I would play the game if it wasn't so played

If I knew your name I would say your name

Do your thing.

She's a blonde, blue eyes

No thighs, 5 feet

She's evil, but you can't see that

Your penis is bad at thinking

But she looks good on paper;

Graduated, just for participation

Tests ungraded, but she always aced them

I have a full hand, four aces

She had braces, and a retainer

Damn, that dudes's mullet almost fucked me up.

Fuck, what was I saying.

Great, the girl next door is racist.

Lil biiiiitzzz.

Being not homeless after not being homeless for 5 years is fucking mind boggling.

I'm like, useless.

There's nothing in my house

But ME

That's the bonus, I guess

Suprise:

***** ******* ** * ********* **********

What's that.

Oh, that's just what I have to repeat whenever I hear someone cough.

Why.

One: because it's true.

And it's my fault I never told anyone in the first place.

Well, actually I did.

But they were racist too!

How do you know they were racist.

They tied me to a bed and tried to kill me.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Anyway.

And two:

Because he tried to put a curse on me and I don't know how else to reverse it.

How do you know?

Why do you keep asking me this.

How do you know he put a curse on you.

Ugh.first of all. He told me.

Isn't he apparently The Devil?

Yes.

Then why would you believe him?

Because, he said:

FAT WIFEBEATER

You know, I control demons.

why does he have to be “fat wifebeater”

Cause he's fat.

Can't he just be “wifebeater”

No. Isn't this just semantics, anyway?

It's political correctness.

It's blatant censorship—

It's not “censoring”—

It's just a script! Would you rather I change it to “pedophile wifebeater”? It's still gonna be cast the same, I swear!

Ugh.

lol Jewish screenplay editor?

Jews on everything.

Lil bitz

You know what.

I love Jews.

That's not even a joke.

I just do.

No explanation whatsoever, just —

Every Jew gets a pass.

Jews with yamicas?

Bonus.

Kosher Jews—with the hats, and little curlies?

Double points.

You're almost Amish—

And I like the Amish.

I do.

But I love Jews.

Man, I'm not even mad

I just wanna sit down with a cold beer

And a bong in my lap

But my dad's an alcoholic

And my mom has habits

Yeah, my moms an alcoholic

And my dad has class

Here's a flask

I guess I ran out of answers,

Of what I would give the man who has everything

I said it was a watch,

Then assumed that he had one

Thought it was a rock

Then I dropped it

Look, another alter

Look, another model in a halter top

You're not just a body, if you have a nice body

To him you're a God,

And he'll never even want me

Unless he's lonely

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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