We Ain't Dead Yet

More couples later in life are sleeping in separate rooms and in some cases separate homes. Called "Sleep Divorce" by the media, what does this trend say about evolving ways we are thinking about sleep, intimacy, self-empowerment and the judgment of others as we age? For many women over 60, sleep can feel precious and precarious. Figuring out just the right  pre-requisites for a good night's sleep is becoming more of a priority. What meaning do partners, and peers make of the desire some women feel to sleep apart, and how are women navigating the challenges and shame that may arise as a result?  Join Constance and Lori for this episode when they unpack the choice couples are making to sleeps separately. And -- a new feature -- we take a call from a WADY listener about her Sleep Divorce. 

Show Notes:

What is a Sleep Divorce?

How To Get a Sleep Divorce and Stay Happily Married

Can a Sleep Divorce Save Your Relationship?

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

Please join us for a lively chat with Sari Botton, founder of Oldster Magazine, about her recent rise to fame and her lifelong obsession with aging. After being rejected by endless employers in her 50s, and then working her butt off, she has finally earned a much-deserved seat at the publishing table, and her star continues to rise. We cover topics ranging from turning 60, becoming our more authentic selves, Sari’s dream that became the catalyst for Oldster, the fascinating phenomenon of subjective age, some of Sari’s favorite interviews and essays from Oldster, to a refreshing counter-narrative to assumptions about attractiveness in middle age. 

And don’t forget to hang around for our “After Thoughts” where Lori and Constance unpack the episode and chat about our thoughts on what we heard. 

 SHOW NOTES

Sari Botton's memoir in essays, And You May Find Yourself...Confessions of a Late-Blooming Gen-X Weirdo, was chosen by Poets & Writers magazine for the 2022 edition of its annual "5 Over 50" feature. She edited the bestselling anthologies Goodbye to All That: Writers on Loving and Leaving NewYork and Never Can Say Goodbye: Writers on Their Unshakable Love for New York. She publishes Oldster Magazine, Memoir Land, and Adventures in Journalism. 

The Puzzling Gap Between How Old You Are and How Old You Think You Are

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

In this episode, Constance goes into full on fan-girl mode with our guest Barbara Waxman, a gerontologist and coach who helps people lead an undiminished life as they age. We talk about flourishing and recognizing the importance of not just our life span and health span, but something Barbara calls the Third span, comprised of our mindset, relationships and purpose at this stage of life. We unpack the growing issue of well-being burnout, and Barbara offers lots of research findings and tips for aging well into our what she calls our Trophy years. 

SHOW NOTES 

Barbara's Website

Barbara's Podcast on Flourishing and Finding Purpose in Midlife

The Middlescence Manifesto: Igniting the Passion of Midlife, Barbara Waxman

The role of mindset, purpose and relationships in longevity, TEDx Boston (After listening, try Barbara's 30-Day Flourish Challenge!)

The Seven Lifestyle Levers Assessment (Free)

How Older Adults Are Improving Their "Sex Span"

Welcome to Holland Story

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Have you tried one of our challenges and want a Shout Out? Please send your comments to: 

 Email: [email protected]

 Follow the show on Facebook

 Visit our Website

 Listen and Subscribe Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts). Subscribing to WADY is a free, quick way to ensure new episodes are automatically delivered to your device. 

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

One thing that doesn't change as we age, is our obsession with our hair. For women over 60, many conversations often get around to asking one burning question..."Should I let my hair go grey?" In this episode, we will go there with our guest Ellen Taxman, a woman who prides herself in being "low fuss" in her appearance, and who even works in the field of aging. We hear from Ellen about her surprise that the Dye-Grey dilemma is causing so much confusion. So dive into our cheerfully rambling conversation about how our mothers' decisions about hair dyeing influenced us, dealing with others' opinions and how they view us and our evolving hair color, and the messages society is giving to women about aging. Join us for this episode, regardless of whether you have, or haven't, or are thinking you will or won't ever go grey.

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Have you tried one of our challenges and want a Shout Out? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

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Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

You can text Fan Mail to the link below, but heads-up, we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. TY

Send a text

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

In this episode we dive into the myths, barriers and boundary issues that get in the way of moving into, and fully enjoying retirement. For many working women, their careers are a source of pride and self-definition. Take a listen to this episode with Retirement Coach Elaine Belansky as we explore the question of "Who Am I?" once your career is in the rear view mirror, and Elaine provides tips and some free tools for making room for your next chapter to begin.

SHOW NOTES: 

Elaine’s Website:  https://elainebelansky.com

Blog: https://elainebelansky.com/blog

Retirement Vision Starter Kit: https://elainebelansky.com/free-retirement-starter-kit

Who Am I Now? Guide: https://elainebelansky.com/who-am-i-now

Boundary Builder: https://elainebelansky.com/boundary-builder

Ikigai: I describe this in one of my blog posts: https://elainebelansky.com/blog/retirement-clarity

Newsletter: https://elainebelansky.com/newsletter

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/53913/33-activities-you-should-try-in-your-first-year-of-retirement-to-discover-what-truly-fulfills-you/

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Have you tried one of our challenges and want a Shout Out? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-aint-dead-yet/id1828702362

Follow the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578375460053 

Visit our website: https://wady.buzzsprout.com

Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

You can text Fan Mail to the link below, but heads-up, we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. TY

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

In our conversation with Amy Schiller, a social worker and professor who specializes in the field of death and dying, we start to unpack the myth of the “Good Death.” Amy talks about letting go of control in the dying process, and how becoming aware of our fears and beliefs about dying can impact our lives, and allow us to live more fully. Amy offers her students the opportunity to write Legacy Letters, and suggests everyone consider their own Advance Directives for when the end of life comes. Constance shares the many ways she is trying to practice and “rightsize” her own deep fears about death and dying, and Lori opens up to the possibility of an Afterlife.

And don’t forget to hang around for our “After Thoughts” where Lori and Constance unpack the episode and chat about our thoughts on what we heard, and where we have started “Listener Shout-Outs,” and episode-based Challenges for our listeners. 

SHOW NOTES:

The CHALLENGE for this episode is to complete one of the exercises discussed - a Legacy Letter, some Death Cleaning, a Death Meditation and let us know how it went :) 

Find out more about Amy Schiller 

Amy's Blog

Dying Well by Ira Byock

Rightsize your Fears by Mark Nepo

The Fifth Season, Mark Nepo 

Death Meditation with Ajahn Nisabho

Going with Grace, Alua Arthur

Legacy Letter

Advice for Future Corpses Sallie Tisdale

Death Cleaning

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family From a Lifetime of Clutter

Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

Just in time for VALENTINE'S DAY, Constance and Lori speak to Kandee Love, a licensed therapist specializing in couple’s and sex therapy. We explore topics ranging from sexual expression across the life stages to sex toys and tips for older adults. Kandee emphasizes the importance of prioritizing pleasure, passion, and play in a world filled with stress. Kandee has labeled February as “Spunky Old Broads Month,” and encourages women to re-write their old narratives and embrace boldness in the bed room. We discuss the idea of redefining sexuality beyond traditional penetrative sex, and the great importance of communication in a relationship, and we end with Kandee providing tips for enhancing sexual expression and intimacy in long-term relationships. This is an episode you don’t want to miss! 

And don’t forget to hang around for our “After Thoughts” where we unpack the episode and chat about our thoughts on what we heard, and where we have started “Listener Shout-Outs,” and episode-based Challenges for our listeners.  

 SHOW NOTES

If you are interested in learning more about Kandee’s work, check out her website: https://www.kiscounseling.net. 

Kandee’s Yes, No, Maybe List to try 😊 (WADY CHALLENGE – try using this and let us know!)

Spunky, Old Broad Month 

LUBES TO LOVE: 

Water-based products (safe with all toys and condoms): Good Clean Love Almost Naked, Sliquid, Aloe Cadabra, Astroglide, Uberlube 

SILICON BASED (don’t use with silicone toys): Astroglide X, Wet Platinum, 10 Millennium, Uberlube

NATURAL (not condom safe): Organic coconut oil

TOYS TO TRY: 

EASY TO GRIP: Palm power, Iroha  Series (Yuki, Koharu), VM Wand vibrator

CLITORAL STIMULATORS: SILA Cruise, SONA Cruise, Namii Clitoral Suction Stimulator, Wominizer Premium Duo, Evii External Vibrator with Dual Motors Pulse Wand 

 G SPOT VIBRATORS: Kurve, GII G spot Vibrator, Je Joye Juno Flex 

DATING WEBSITES FOR SENIORS: Seniorsizzle.com, DateMyAge, BeNaughty, OurTime, Tinder for seniors, Seniormatch, Kinky-seniors.com, Seniorfuckbuddies

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Have you tried one of our challenges and want a Shout Out? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-aint-dead-yet/id1828702362

Follow the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578375460053 

Visit our website: https://wady.buzzsprout.com

Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

You can text Fan Mail to the link below, but heads-up, we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/Substack/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. 

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

Constance and Lori speak to Ellen Blum Barish, a writing coach and memoir author. Even if writing is not your thing, listen in to our lively conversation about leaning in to this form of creativity as a tool for growth and reflection as we age.

For starters, we discuss the hidden value of writing for people who don’t like to write. Ellen suggests looking through the old stuff we tuck in drawers and stash away in closets and think about the stories they have to tell. Also, think about using photos we have stored in our phones as prompts for our writing We jump back to our adolescence when many of us poured ourselves into our diaries and journals, and used writing as an early form of self expression. And at this time of life, we explored the possibility of using writing as part of a Life Review. This can be an important process that makes connections over the course of our life to look at and rewrite the narratives of our lives. Finally, we offer a fun little writing challenge to our listeners that may land you on the WADY website. So listen in and get your creative juices flowing. 

And don’t forget to hang around for our “After Thoughts” where Lori and Constance unpack the episode and chat about our thoughts on what we heard. 

SHOW NOTES

If you are interested in learning more about Ellen's work, check out her website: https://www.ellenblumbarish.com/

If you are interested in learning more about Ellen's memoir "Seven Springs" check out this link: https://www.ellenblumbarish.com/my-work

If you are interested in learning more about the book that Constance mentioned in the podcast that offers writing prompts, check out this link: https://www.suleikajaouad.com/the-book-of-alchemy

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-aint-dead-yet/id1828702362

Follow the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578375460053 

Visit our website: https://wady.buzzsprout.com

Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

You can text Fan Mail to the link below, but heads-up, we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/Substack/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. TY

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

Constance and Lori speak to Ramsay Ringo, a career coach and expert on caring for elderly parents. We discuss the unique challenges of supporting aging parents when you are in your 60s yourself. Ramsay emphasizes the importance of a simplified approach to avoid overwhelming caregivers, and provides many practical tips. We explore the tension between ensuring the safety of elderly parents and respecting their desire for independence and autonomy.  We also cover the complexities of coordinating care across different family members and locations, and ways to talk to our adult children about caring for elderly parents. Finally, Ramsay coaches us on practical ways to prepare for our own aging. Please join us for this very constructive discussion.

And don’t forget to hang around for our “After Thoughts” where Lori and Constance unpack the episode and chat about our thoughts on what we heard. 

SHOW NOTES

If you are interested in learning more about Ramsay’s work, check out her website: https://www.ramsayringo.com/

Ramsay collaborates with clients who are looking to make an impact and:

o   Take meaningful steps toward a new or first job

o   Change their professional focus or industry

o   Pursue a professional position after time focusing on family

o   Tackle a big mid-life shift using decades of experience to do something with extra meaning

o   Or to pursue the ultimate career shift, retirement and living into the third and fourth quarters of a values driven life. 

We were also lucky enough to persuade Ramsay to share one of her original poems with us: 

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-aint-dead-yet/id1828702362

Follow the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578375460053 

Visit our website: https://wady.buzzsprout.com

Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

You can text Fan Mail to the link below, but heads-up, we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/Substack/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. TY

Send us Fan Mail

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

Constance and Lori catch up after the Thanksgiving holiday break. We cover everything from no longer giving a fuck, to spiritual connections with our deceased parents, to Mel Robbins’ "Let Them" Theory, to aging pubic hair 🤣 And we preview a few of our upcoming shows. Please join us for this quick, warm check-in.

SHOW NOTES

Aging Out of Fucks: The Neuroscience of Why You Suddenly Can’t Pretend Anymore, Ellen Scherr

What We Gain When We Stop Caring, Anna Holmes

Melani Sanders’s “We Do Not Care” Club (Instagram and Facebook)

We would love to hear from you! Do you have ideas for future podcasts? Want to be a guest on our podcast? Please send your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement to: 

Email: [email protected]

Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-aint-dead-yet/id1828702362

Follow the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578375460053 

Visit our website: https://wady.buzzsprout.com

Listen Here! (Our linktree will direct you to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, GoodPods, and Pocket Casts)

We would love to hear from you! Please text us your comments/suggestions/criticisms/encouragement below :)  

Heads-up: we are unable to respond to these Fan Mail Texts. If you'd like a reply, please reach out on our FB/Substack/or email/or include your email address in your Fan Mail Text. TY

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Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt