And we found it. America crowns a winning couple for Love Island USA 2025. And is anyone actually surprised? Not on The Speak Sleazy. But that doesn't mean we don't have 181374 things to discuss like Huda's patented (and yet failed) countdown method, the best dresses of the declarations of love ceremony, wolf nose nipples?? and how pretty Ariana's hair looks. Don't worry. Unlike SOME episodes, this one is not two hours long.