Kickoff Episode:

Today's topics include addiction, dependence, and quality of life, compared to what it used to be; the delightful CDC guidelines, DEA office raids, and Suicide Due to Pain. Every day for the last thirteen years, Mike has held all of this by the hand, so sometimes he drives his points like nails. After all, they didn't ask for this, but here it is, so here we are.

The podcast includes optional homework assignments and internet field trips.

Then, stick around for his totally self-indulgent bonus filler where Mike talks about the making of his podcasts, including the soundtrack, and a little over four minutes of what he whipped up for today, mixed down to a sensible arrangement, for what it is.

Please Enjoy!

The last three chapters and the final episode. I will read the last three chapters: Pain Scales; Acceptance; and Not the End.

As for the podcast version of this book, it is the end.

Everybody needs something to hold onto. In the world of overwhelming symptoms and suicidal ideation, a good lifeline is an anchor to this world.

In these two chapters, I start realizing what I'm made of, and what it means to be a caregiver spouse. I didn't do this much introspect on purpose, but I never gave certain things this much hind-sighted focus before.

Today is a little self-therapy, letting multiple personality disorders each play a different instrument, a track at a time. This is some of the music I wrote for the podcast - no reading, just the music. A little rough, but a couple nice mood purges. Enjoy.

Track 1: Okey Dokey Not

Track 2: the hurts

Track 3: Fatigue

Performed and produced by the only musician I still get along with, most of the time.

This is about "the new normal," although most will agree there is nothing normal about this. It's about living with, and adapting to the progression of rare diseases.

Caregiver spouses tend to ignore their own pains and other general maintenance. The first chapter "My Own Ouches" talks that lesson; "Watching" is about seeing things beyond your control, all of the time, when the nurse is married to the patient, and there is nothing else that can be done today.

Five talks about finding our tribe hiding in closed Facebook groups; Six is about making it to the movies on Easter.

An intimate look at suicidal ideation, from the caregiver spouse of a CRPS and EDS patient - two conditions with high suicide casualty rates.

Living with something horrible that nobody else can see, but I assure you, it's there.