We Love Our Family...But Damn Podcast

In this episode of "We Love Our Family, But Damn," Kristen interviews her husband Roger about his Armenian-Iranian heritage and how his family's history of war and immigration shaped their family dynamics and values. Roger shares the anxiety and strictness he experienced growing up, influenced by his parents' struggles and cultural norms that discouraged vulnerability, especially among men. He reflects on his father's passivity and his mother's heavy responsibilities, and how these patterns affect his own approach to fatherhood. They discuss the importance of conscious parenting, breaking emotional and financial cycles, and creating a stable home environment for their daughter. The conversation also addresses cultural pressures around status and appearances in Armenian and Iranian communities, linking them to insecurity and survival. Roger expresses pride in the courage of Iranian youth protesting for freedom and gratitude to his parents for their sacrifices, emphasizing the goal of fostering a legacy of acceptance and authenticity for their daughter.

For as long as I can remember, I never had a good answer to the question:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Not because I lacked ambition.Not because I didn’t care….

…but because there was no job title for what I felt called toward.

What I wanted, though I didn’t have language for it yet, was influence.Not fame. Not authority. Influence in the truest sense:

the ability to shape what continues and to make a damn difference.

For a long time, I was really embarrassed by that answer. It sounded vague. Unrealistic. Imagine a 7 year old sharing that dream with you….

So I tried to fit myself into the places where influence was supposed to live.

Where I thought influence lived

I started my career in Hollywood. I worked on TV shows, interned at major studios, and got an early education in how power actually works, when it’s disconnected from integrity.

It didn’t take long to realize that this wasn’t my lane.

There was influence there, yes—but it ALWAYS came at the cost of people.I learned what it feels like to be stepped over, used, and treated as expendable. I was young, in my early 20s, idealistic, and I got hurt.

I didn’t leave because I wasn’t strong enough. (well maybe I was just a tad bit naive)I left because I was learning what kind of influence I didn’t want.

Regina George’s are everywhere in Hollywood

Influence without a title

That’s when I joined the Peace Corps and moved to Armenia.

For three years, I worked with women (many of them mothers) helping them turn their skills into income through small handicraft businesses. There was no ladder to climb. No applause. No clear job description.

And yet, it changed lives. Including mine.

Looking back, that was the first time I felt aligned.I was helping people at the beginning of something…confidence, livelihood, possibility.

I didn’t know it then, but a pattern was forming.

I thought I was lost

When I came back to the U.S., I felt lost again. I met my husband, Roger (after telling everyone I would NEVER marry an Armenian man, hahaha God has a sense of humor).

My twenties were full of exploration: I did commercial modeling, tried my hand at door-to-door sales, I got my real estate license, coordinated 300+ weddings (ew), (the coordination part, not the love part), sold mirrors on Amazon, became a life coach, wrote my first book, got my first hater and balled my eyes out.

Let’s just say…I have a lot of lived experience

For a long time, I told myself a story that I was unfocused. That I hadn’t “found my thing.”

Looking back and connecting the dots?

I wasn’t lost.I was in an apprenticeship.

The pattern reveals itself

Eventually, Roger and I moved to Arizona and somehow found ourselves hosting intimate weddings at our vacation property in Sedona.

After having a large wedding ourselves (beautiful, meaningful, but centered more on logistics and guests than us, honestly…) I became deeply interested in what actually matters at the start of a marriage.

For five years, we witnessed couples at one of the most important thresholds of their lives. Not just getting married—but beginning a family system.

And suddenly, everything clicked.

I had always been working at the beginning.

When it became personal

Postpartum knocked it out of the park for me. I was hospitalized four times! Well, five if you count the time, the OBGYN lacerated my cervix during my surgery a month postpartum.

Don’t worry, I got therapy. That shit was traumatic.(And if you are deep in it, I see you, I understand and I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you get help)

What I experienced forced me to confront something I had never fully looked at before: Unhealed family/generational trauma.

And how unhealed family patterns don’t disappear—they get passed down.

For the first time, influence wasn’t abstract.It was my daughter.

It became painfully clear that how we navigate beginnings—marriage, home, parenthood, boundaries—shapes what continues long after us.

Where we are now

This is why our work today lives where it does.

Roger helps a lot of couples buy their first homes.I help a lot of couples start their marriage.And more recently we’re focused on helping families move through life’s thresholds consciously—with awareness, intention, and honesty.

If you’re ready to buy a home and think about legacy beyond a mortgage, call Roger.

If you want to begin a marriage—or renew your vows—differently, that door is here.

And if you’re just trying to figure out family dynamics, boundaries, and how not to lose yourself in the process…start with our 5-day series, We Love Our Family…But DamnWe made it for exactly that.

In this episode of We Love Our Family… But Damn, we’re reflecting on a fight we didn’t see coming—one that happened right after the New Year, during a season when things were actually going well.

The argument escalated enough that we didn’t realize the bathtub had been left running… until our house started flooding.

Rather than replaying the fight itself, this conversation focuses on what the moment revealed about stress, nervous systems, and how conflict shows up when life is full—raising a toddler, running businesses, navigating home projects, and moving through hormonal and emotional cycles.

We talk honestly about:

Why growth in marriage isn’t linear

How stress and mental load quietly accumulate

What was really happening beneath the argument

The difference between rupture and failure

How we approached repair, and why it mattered more than the conflict itself

What this moment taught us about presence, awareness, and coming back together

This episode is for couples who:

Love each other deeply but still fight

Are navigating family life, work, and stress at the same time

Want to learn how to repair after conflict instead of avoiding it

Are curious what “healthy repair” actually looks like in real life

We also share what’s ahead for us as we enter the Year of the Horse, including seasonal gatherings we’re planning this year—starting with a Chinese New Year dumpling-making event—and a course we’re preparing around couples and money, focused not just on logistics, but how money actually lives inside a relationship.

If you’re listening to this in the middle of your own hard moment, this conversation is a reminder:nothing has gone wrong.

Topics Covered

Marriage conflict and repair

Stress and nervous system regulation in relationships

Nonlinear growth in long-term partnership

Mental load, parenting, and emotional bandwidth

Repair after a fight

Communication during high-stress seasons

Couples, money, and shared decision-making

Ritual, seasons, and intentional family life

Stay Connected

If these conversations resonate with you—about marriage, family, stress, and building a life together—stay subscribed.We’ll be sharing more soon.

Fun holiday experiment:Go to a family gathering totally in love, regulated, and aligned.

Now leave and explain why the vibe is off in the car without starting a fight.

We’ll wait.

If you’ve ever had that moment — where nothing technically went wrong, but everything feels a little… off — you’re not alone.

In today’s episode, the final day of We Love Our Family… But Damn, we’re unpacking the invisible ways family tension sneaks into relationships — even when it’s not your argument, your drama, or your responsibility.

We talk about:

* why being around family can suddenly make you feel 14 again

* the psychology behind why old patterns resurface around parents

* emotional bids — the small, easy-to-miss moments that either keep couples connected or quietly pull them apart

* and how play (yes, actual play) can regulate nervous systems, diffuse tension, and bring people back together when talking doesn’t help

We also share what helped us this holiday — not perfect communication, not deep processing mid-chaos — but tiny moments of connection that made a big difference.

This episode isn’t about fixing your family.It’s about protecting your relationship.

And if this series has made you laugh, think, or feel a little steadier in your relationships — stay subscribed!

We’ll keep checking in on both the love climate and the life decisions families are navigating together.

Because love doesn’t happen in a vacuum.And neither does family.

We love our family…but damn.

Kristen + Roger

In today’s episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest relationship questions couples ask:“How do I get my partner to support me… without nagging, fighting, or feeling alone in everything?”

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing it all, holding it all, or drowning in emotional labor — this episode gives you practical tools to shift your communication, strengthen your partnership, and create support that actually lasts.

We talk about how small shifts in tone, energy, and language can completely change how your partner responds. Instead of pressure, shutdown, and frustration… you learn how to inspire cooperation, connection, and teamwork.

You’ll also hear a real-life story about Kristen’s recent moment with her mother-in-law — and how she set a healthy boundary in the calmest, most grown-up way. No blow-ups. No self-abandonment. No silent resentment. Just clear, grounded communication that kept the peace and protected her needs.

Inside Day 4, we cover:

how to feel supported in your relationship (especially during stressful seasons)

the difference between nagging vs. supportive communication

how to ask for help in a way your partner can actually receive

a toddler communication example that hilariously applies to adults too

why people shut down when they feel criticized

how to create emotional safety so your partner steps toward you instead of away

how to set healthy boundaries with family without starting an argument

what to do in the moment when you don’t feel supported

simple phrases that instantly shift the energy between you

how to stay connected as a couple when family dynamics get loud or overwhelming

We also share what’s coming after this 5-day series — including our weekly relationship check-ins, Love Market updates, and Money Market updates — so you know exactly how we’ll continue supporting you beyond this week.

Tomorrow is Day 5, our finale:How to be a united front when your family is… a lot.Think grounding rituals, healthy boundaries, emotional regulation, and “we’re not doing this next year” agreements that actually make the holidays easier.

If you’re wanting more ease, more connection, and more teamwork in your relationship — this episode is for you.

[Download the Shared Holiday Plan Worksheet] Money is one of the most triggering topics for couples — not because of the dollars, but because of what money represents:safety, identity, control, childhood wounds, pressure, fear of the future… and the million unspoken expectations that hit especially hard in December.

Today’s episode is the one we wish every couple could listen to before the holiday madness begins.

Inside Day 3, we break down:

💸 Why money activates you (and your partner) more than almost anything else— including the stats that prove you’re not alone and that this reaction is human

💸 How your childhood shaped your money mindset— and how those old beliefs sneak into your marriage without you realizing it

💸 Why partners shut down, withdraw, get defensive, or avoid money talks entirely— and the invisible emotional patterns underneath those reactions

💸 What Roger sees when couples make big financial decisions— not just the numbers, but the emotional triggers, different personalities, and the moments that make or break teamwork

💸 The 2 tools that changed everything for us as a couple:1. The Shared Holiday Plan (the five-minute conversation that prevents overspending + resentment)2. The 3-Minute Money Check-In (the diffuser that stops spirals before they start)

And because so many couples struggle with money communication, we also share the idea we’re playing with for January:a couples money challenge we’d do with you, not teach from above.

✨ BONUS: Shared Holiday Plan Worksheet

We included a simple worksheet to help you and your partner map out highly stressed out seasons (like the holidays) spending without the argument, the anxiety, or the silent resentment.

You can grab it here:

(Feel free to make a copy of this worksheet so you and your partner can fill it out together. Just go to File → Make a Copy and save it to your own Google Drive.)

Use it before the chaos hits.Or tonight.Or right after listening to this episode.Your future selves will thank you.

This episode is a must-listen for any couple who:

* feels tension around spending

* avoids money talks until they explode

* wants December to feel intentional, not overwhelming

* wants to understand each other — not fight each other

* wants tools that work even when emotions are high

Pour a tea, go for a walk, sit in the car together…and press play.

Day 3 is one of the most important conversations of the whole series.Let’s talk about money the way no one taught us how to — with honesty, humor, compassion, and actual teamwork.

Kristen & Roger

Day 2 is here — and honestly, this one is tender.Today we’re talking about something that happens to every couple… but almost no one admits out loud:

Why we regress around our parents,why tiny comments turn into big feelings,and how two people who love each other can suddenly feel like they’re on opposite sides.

This episode walks through a real moment that happened recently with my dad — one of those subtle family interactions that ended with Roger feeling unsupported… and me feeling misunderstood.

And here’s the wild part:

We weren’t even fighting about what we thought we were fighting about.Not the garage.Not the fence.Not the project.

We were caught in a pattern underneath the moment —a pattern where one person feels outnumbered,and the other is unintentionally trying to keep the peace.

In today’s episode, we unpack:

✨ Why your body reacts before your brain does around family(Yes, there’s actual research — not just vibes.)

✨ The exact moment Roger felt like I wasn’t on his teamEven though I didn’t realize that was what I was communicating.

✨ The therapist’s “eye-signal tool”Including the ridiculously perfect diaper analogy that made everything click.

✨ How to stay united when a parent jumps into the mix(Without shaming them, abandoning your partner, or losing yourself.)

✨ Scripts you can use when you feel yourself spiraling or snappingSo you can respond like your adult self, not your 14-year-old self.

✨ The single breakthrough that changed our entire dynamicOne reframe that instantly eased the tension and brought us back into partnership.

This episode is for you if you’ve ever felt:

* torn between your partner and your parents,

* misunderstood in the moment,

* or frustrated because a tiny comment suddenly spiraled into something bigger.

We’re not meant to navigate family patterns alone.And you’re definitely not doing it wrong — you’re just doing it consciously for the first time.

Give it a listen, and send this to the person you want to stay on the same team with — even when family dynamics get loud.

Tomorrow we’re diving into Day 3 —Money, pressure, expectations, and why finances feel heavier when life feels full.

We love you.But damn… family is a lot.Let’s navigate it together. 🌿

Kristen & Roger

Today’s episode kicks off our 5-day series with a raw, honest conversation about why December brings out the best and the worst in all of us—and how couples can stay connected even when everything around them feels chaotic.

We start with personal stories (including our Thanksgiving week meltdown moment), break down why the holidays activate old patterns, and share the simple tool that helped us rebuild respect, soften with each other, and stop turning on each other when stress hits.

Inside this episode, we cover:

• Why the holiday season is uniquely triggering for couples• The personal story that showed us what we don’t want to repeat• The #1 communication tool we now use to avoid spiraling• The “Tell Me What You Heard Me Say” method — and why it works• When to apply this tool (trust us, it matters)• The mindset shift that makes December feel less chaotic and more connected• What we’re personally doing to prepare for family, boundaries, and holiday dynamics

This episode is part relationship reset, part hilarious family confession, and part toolkit you can use today to stay on the same team—no matter what this month brings.