We Love the Love

We're having a weird (but good!) Christmas with the holiday romance of Stanley Kubrick's final film, 1999's Eyes Wide Shut.

Join in as we discuss the movie's place in Kubrick's filmography, its use of real-life couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, the Christmas setting, and the differences between the theatrical and unrated cuts.

Plus: How does the movie compare to Arthur Schnitzler's short story? Why did so many people want something else from the movie? Why does Bill Harford constantly show people his medical license? And, most importantly, who choreographed the women at the climactic party?

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Next week: Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) and our top ten films of 2023!

We're checking in on this year's Hallmark Channel holiday romances with a look at Never Been Chris'd, a movie that definitely didn't start with a title and build a shaky premise off of that.

Join in as we discuss Hallmark's programming ethos, bad moms, Hays Code lesbians, and the movie's questionable understanding of both It's a Wonderful Life and The Great Gatsby.

Plus: What exactly is interesting about Chris? Does this movie feature the most pathetic Never Have I Ever game in history? Do these women understand the tech industry? And, most importantly, is Chris any good at kissing?

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Next week: Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

It's almost Christmastime, so we're grumpily lining up to look at the dreadful romance of the 2002 CBS film adaptation of The Christmas Shoes, based on the treacly NewSong hit.

Join in as we discuss Rob Lowe's performance as "Mean Business Dad," the film's stupid first line, chain emails, and the surprisingly extensive Christmas Shoes universe.

Plus: Is Maggie's marriage also bad? Would the movie be better if it weren't an adaptation of this song? Do parents ever watch their kids' concert videos? And, most importantly, why are the titular shoes so ugly??

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Next week: Never Been Chris'd (2023)

We're kicking off the holiday season with a classic adaptation of an even more classic story: 1992's The Muppet Christmas Carol!

Join in as we discuss the post-Henson history of the Muppets, a weird-looking Ghost of Christmas Past, Paul Williams's great songs (except one), and Ignorance and Want.

Plus: Why is "When Love is Gone" only in some versions of the movie? Did Scrooge get dumped on Christmas? Why hasn't Disney relaunched The Muppet Show? And, most importantly, is Belle a Fezziwig? #BellyWig

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Next week: The Christmas Shoes (2002)

We're having a whale of a time as we look at the time-travel romance of 1986's Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home!

Join in as we discuss large sea creatures, Spock's vulgarity, the 1986 Saturn Awards, and Scotty's surprising skill with a Macintosh.

Plus: What Paramount star almost played a key role in the movie? Will the time-displaced whales die in the future? Can you drink whale milk? And, most importantly, what did the probe that started the movie actually want?

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Next week: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

We're welcoming the world's number one Trolls fan to the podcast to talk about the royal romance of DreamWorks's first feature about the long-haired Scandinavian toys.

Join in as we discuss jukebox movies, the Trolls universe, Bergen class hierarchy, and the rhythm nation.

Plus: Is Gristle Jr a good king? What is Bridget's long-term plan? Do the Battle Trolls appear in the sequels? And, most importantly, does the Bergen Chef even cook anything?

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Next week: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

We're talking formative parodies as we look at the irresistable romance of 1997's Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Join in as we discuss the film's unusual DVD release, the Evil family in therapy, Bond girl names, and themed rollercoasters.

Plus: How old is Scott supposed to be? Will Austin Powers 4 ever happen? Why aren't there broccoli in VeggieTales? And, most importantly, is "Do I make you horny?" a rhetorical question?

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Next week: Trolls (2016)

Dune Part II got moved to next year, so we're looking at another odd genre epic from the early 80s: Peter Yates's 1983 fantasy flop Krull!

Join in as we discuss marital flamethrowing, the Widow in the Web, the movie's unhelpful name, the movie's surprising link to a We Love the Love favorite.

Plus: Are Slayers parasitic? Why does the Beast want to marry a human? Where are all the other people? And, most importantly, at what point did the people involved with this movie realize it was bad?

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Next week: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

We're celebrating Halloween with a look at the most fun of the classic slashers, Wes Craven's 1984 hit A Nightmare on Elm Street!

Join in as we discuss Freddy Krueger, vigilante parents, great practical effects, and wet factories.

Plus: How does this compare to the other slashers of its period? Why did Nancy's mom keep Freddy's glove? Why does Tina like Rod? And, most importantly, why won't anyone actually help Nancy?

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Next week: Krull (1983)

We're finally entering the Dark Universe! At long last, it's time to dig into the paltry romance of Alex Kurtzman's ill-fated reboot of The Mummy, starring Tom Cruise in the would-be beginning of a cinematic universe.

Join in as we discuss other occupants of the franchise graveyard, the development of the Dark Universe, the film's weirdly insulting location cards, and the puzzling nature of Tom Cruise's character.

Plus: What was the mummy's goal? Did it technically win? Why didn't Nick's body burn up in the plane crash? What was Captain Salazar's deal? And, most importantly, what would a horror movie based on the card game Uno look like?

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Next week: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)