I'll never forget telling my counselor how I was struggling with being kind and giving time to my housekeeper- every interaction just felt too stressful, like I didn't have the bandwidth. And yet, she was the one Rwandan that I saw and interacted with every single day! But I realized that all my stress was being spent on the stress of driving a long, congested way- and when I would get home, I had nothing left to use to be kind and build that relationship. "I just need to be able to not be stressed about things that don't matter- so that I can step into the difficult things that DO matter!" I told her, exasperated. This realization eventually allowed me to see that I needed to give myself a fighting chance, and identify the changes we could make to move closer to thriving.