Third Culture Thriving

Today, I want to tackle a topic that can be a bit heavy: grief, and particularly displaced grief, grief that we have to take with us. We’re going to do so gently, but I want to remind you: this is a podcast, and you can pause it, turn it off, come back to it, or even skip it if the timing isn’t right for you. You have my full blessing to care for yourself well as you consider the grief you carry.

Today, we are talking about one of the most emotional, difficult, violating things that can happen when we live and work abroad, and unfortunately it’s very common. Nearly everyone I know had a story about a difficult situation with their national workers, whether domestic or ministry staff. The truth is, we are all human and we all make mistakes and let each other down. But how should were handle it when a staff member betrays our trust, or lets you down in a big way? The answer to this will be different from person to person, and from culture to culture. But today, I’m hopeful that we can walk through some questions we can ask ourselves that can bring some clarity and wisdom.

If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, well…you know that there hasn’t been much to listen to in the last year. I’ve been quiet, and while the main reason for that has been purely logistical, I can’t totally blame my silence on my schedule. In truth, another large part of this has been the very deep, intimate, internal work the Spirit has been walking me through. It’s been special and sacred and quiet, and really hasn’t felt like it was to be shared. Only a few friends, and at times only my husband and my professional supports, have been aware of the shifts within my heart, and the deep healing that the Spirit has brought. I’m so grateful.

But, as seasons do, I am beginning to feel the season changing. What has been a quiet winter of introspection and putting down deep roots is now giving way in my heart to a spring of growth and transformation. I feel the energy of the shifts that the Spirit has led me through beginning to reach out to be shared and seen. But, like the first spring leaves, it feels fragile. Vulnerable. Unsure. Like it needs to be protected. Like it’s not sure it’s time yet.

A few months ago, we had the privilege of hosting a dear friend here in our home in Kigali. He also happens to be an extremely talented videographer and media specialists and had come to visit in order to make a mini-documentary about our family to help us fundraise. Cool, right?

A lot of our time together was spent answering questions on camera. Most of them were pretty predictable- when did you fist feel called to work abroad, tell me about your work, how did you feel the Lord leading you into this specific field, what’s your long term vision for your ministry. But one discussion we had stopped me in my tracks, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The question was this: what would you say your mission is, as a family, here in Rwanda? What unifies all your work and ministry and keeps you here?

My (and everyone's) favorite: what's saving my life! Unfiltered and unedited thoughts about the practices, items, and thoughts that are tipping the scales towards thriving for me right now.

Hi friends. It feels so incredibly good to be back on here with you, after a quite long unplanned hiatus from the podcast. I feel like I owe you some explanations, so, here we go.

I am fresh off of a month of messy travel, and today I want to do a special travel edition of everyone’s favorite episode: what’s saving my life. Because travel is a big part of our lives as global workers, whether we travel often or we travel infrequently but very long trips, and having some tricks up your sleeve can make or break your time. So, here’s some of my favorites.

Today’s episode is an intensely practical one: we are going to explore three different techniques you can use to ground yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed or panicky or even just OFF. Of course, this isn’t just something that global workers struggle with, these things apply to everyone, but it certainly does seem to come up for us, doesn’t it?

Today, I want to take some time to chat a bit about some of the books that have been released in the last few years, specifically targeting global workers. I have read all of these books and they have each blessed me in different ways, and I hope they will bless you, too.

Grit to Stay, Grace to Go (Eenigenburg and Burkholder)

Raising a Family Overseas (Danforth)

The Grief Tower (Wells)

Sacred Siblings (Eenigenburg and Grumelot)

Yet Still We Hope (Hilkemann and Beck)

Liturgies and Laments for the Sojourner (Fallis, Boyce, and Rubinski)