What do hot rollers, menopause, a shattered office window, Texas A&M orientation, and four highly questionable dogs have in common? This week’s episode.

Cynthia and Heather sit down with comedian and author Ellen Skrmetti for a conversation that somehow covers Southern beauty (not so) secrets, Botox, parenting in midlife, and why life is often completely—and hilariously—cattywampus (which also happens to be the title of Ellen’s new book). Then they catch up on summer adventures, a football game that ended in turf toe, Heather’s growing obsession with Aggie maroon, and the little moments moms never want to forget.

Come laugh with us. It's summer—heaven knows we need it. ☀️

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Summer is here, which means Cynthia is creating ambitious plans for educational walks and homeschooling (which should last until approximately Tuesday at noon), and Heather is simply trying to survive graduation season and a questionable medical intervention.

This week, they compare notes on a wedding, summer parenting, airplane annoyances, and the shocking discovery that "cocktail attire" means something completely different in North Carolina than it does in Dallas.

They also discuss a particular ring bearer who took his responsibilities a little too seriously, a graduation season celebrity sighting, and a reference to the "Harvey Weinstein of Dallas."

Plus, Heather contemplates buying an inflatable Gaga Ball pit, and a routine Target return takes a dark turn when Cynthia is unexpectedly reunited with an unmentionable at customer service.

As always, it's equal parts life advice and public embarrassment. 

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This week’s Sidetracked includes a college decision fake-out, a daughter trying to square up with a driverless car in Austin, and Heather nearly getting into a roadside altercation while refereeing two grown adults behaving like toddlers.

And in a weird déjà vu situation, Abby made the neighborhood Facebook page again after getting caught stealing freedom laps around the neighborhood. There’s also a revelation that Dreamsicle-flavored Tums may be the downfall of American society, and Heather has officially entered her garage-fridge era and has never felt more bougie about cold beverages in her life.

Did we mention Cynthia also accidentally drove the wrong way through a hospital entrance on her way to a full-body skin check? Another week, another conversation about inappropriate Mother’s Day cards, signature house scents, wildflower seeds, tortilla chip superiority, and the ongoing realization that middle-aged women are apparently one minor inconvenience away from a full public unraveling.

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Happy Mother’s Day from Sidetracked!

This week, Cynthia and Heather celebrate by bringing on two very special guests: their moms. What follows is equal parts heartfelt, nostalgic, and absolutely hilarious. Between forgotten hearing aids, technology struggles, and one mom admitting she doesn’t actually listen to the podcast, the episode is entertaining from the very start.

The conversation somehow moves from Mother’s Day wisdom to Cynthia accidentally coating herself in hairspray instead of self-tanner, Heather preparing for Texas hail with patio cushions and rope, and a memorable conversation involving old bridal lingerie and adult daughters.

It’s a fun, laugh-out-loud episode full of stories about motherhood, family, and the introduction of a new word you’ll never say with a straight face again. And for those wanting more, the Super Trackers bonus episode includes even more stories from Kathy and Dorothy, plus some genuinely meaningful wisdom about faith, prayer, and motherhood.

**Sign up to be a supertracker in the next two weeks and will pick one person to get a cameo from us!

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It’s the typical Sidetracked chaos when Heather casually drops a surprise guest into the mix. Cynthia spends way too long preparing (panic-researching every Christian comedian she can find) just to avoid saying the wrong name. Somehow, she correctly lands on Tim Hawkins, and the conversation quickly turns into stand-up, “years of failure,” and whether Cynthia could casually open a show (she’s confident she could).

From there, it goes exactly where you’d expect—and nowhere you’d predict.

There’s a cautionary tale about daytime napping that ends with a car vs. gate situation, a middle-of-the-night roach encounter that absolutely no one needed to hear—but now you do—and a group of grown women at a luxury hotel fully committing to rescuing baby ducks like it’s their life’s purpose.

They also recap a next-level themed Mahjong party and float the idea of “adult field trips” (name still pending).

It’s fast, funny, and completely unhinged—exactly as intended.

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Today we’re spiraling (naturally) into the part of the internet where people are turning their kids’ teeth into jewelry. Rings. Actual rings. We are not okay.

We also unpack the emotional damage of putting bar stools out for bulk trash… only for them to sit there for days, completely ignored. Nothing like realizing your garbage is too garbage for other people to take. 

And we try out a new parenting strategy: yelling “Jessica!” mid-tantrum to reset the situation. Does it work? Unclear. Will it confuse everyone involved? Absolutely.

It’s parenting highs, lows, and even a live “text song lyrics to your kids” experiment. Hard to believe this content is free.

Come for the laughs, stay for the solidarity… unless you wear your kids’ teeth—then maybe don’t come at all?

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Cynthia accidentally clocks a kid in the TSA line (not on purpose), and the mom’s reaction has us asking: is everyone just one moment away from losing it?

Heather raises the bar with a St. Patrick’s Day story that includes:

Meanwhile, spring break delivers its own set of moments—ranging from crowded chaos to situations that make you question how we’re all just out here functioning in public.

Throw in a few strong opinions (shoes included), a couple of stories you won’t unhear, and one very passionate cold medicine recommendation… and you’ve got yourself a new Sidetracked episode. 

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Heather has a new hobby—hip-hop dance fitness—which leads to a very real conversation about midlife exercise choices, ranging from dancing to water aerobics to the stroller workouts moms used to do at the mall. That, of course, opens the door to a shocking revelation that some totally off-the-rails mothers used to take strollers on escalators (i.e., Cynthia).

There’s also a discussion about a child who snort-laughed gum into his nose, running shoes that started foaming mid-practice, and a man who apparently inhaled a tiny toy traffic cone.

They also break down new teenage slang, debate the strange corners of internet fame (including monkeys and squirrel puppets with millions of followers), and share why the world might be ready for a menopause subscription box that actually contains useful things (trade the lip plumper for tweezers and possibly an emergency adult diaper).

Add in goose outfits, Graceland, ribbon shopping in Memphis, and a TSA agent gently reminding Cynthia to zip her pants in the airport security line, and this episode is 100% Sidetracked.

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We kick things off with a formal retraction (names were mispronounced, people were wrongfully declared deceased… you know, normal housekeeping) and quickly spiral into a debate about doppelgangers, dingleberries, and the dangers of speaking with confidence and zero knowledge.

Cynthia shares post-cry reflections and Supertracker sightings in the wild, and Heather shares mammogram updates and the gift of a goose. Come for the camel toe shoe discussion. Stay for the college boy visit recap. And leave with a FrostBuddy. 

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Heather and Cynthia are back, and Heather willingly chose an 8 a.m. mammogram, post–Super Bowl, and showed up with enough energy to be invited back daily by the staff. (Why strangers get the best version of us remains a mystery worth studying.)

From there, things escalate quickly—Olympics confusion, a headline that probably requires earbuds if your kids are nearby, and Cynthia deeply misunderstanding what the “Quad God” actually refers to. There’s also a serious exploration of which Winter Olympic sport is best suited for hot flashes, gravity, and middle-aged mom bodies.

They also cover: 1.) teen slang that absolutely should not have been rebranded 2.) A family text thread that goes off the rails thanks to geology class and 3.) stranger who chose the wrong front yard, the wrong Amazon package, and the wrong topiary.

If you like stories that start normal and end with, “Wait… WHAT just happened?”—this one’s for you.
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