I was thinking about logic and how science as logic doesn't see how intelligence can exist beyond words we think words our intelligence its intelligence that creates words and we don't see that that difference we don't see the space in which words arise and in that way I was thinking in terms of children on the autism spectrum that are may be seen as like unfortunate and maybe less intelligent because they're less able to pick up words we don't see that there's a different intelligence in action and we don't actually see that they're kind of proving that there's a lot more to intelligence beyond words than we realize because they're able to remain in that state of play and wordless intelligence longer I was thinking too about how I talked about how children with autism need a lot more love they really need unconditional love in order to flower because they can sense what's not love it's almost like they are highly sensitive in the same way and a tantrum in a way is their meter of them realizing something's happening that's not love and so and also they're being born in a time where they're not going to be institutionalized as much and someone was telling me about how at an airport you can get a stamp for your passport if your child is on the spectrum and if you have that stamp you can go to the front of the line in checking in and you can go the front of line to get on the airplane because they realize that these children get quite distressed in waiting in lines they don't understand okay stand here now for the next hour they don't understand why they just have to stand there in a line so they'd be running all over or they'd be maybe getting upset and so they've made it so the kids can go to the front line with the family of course and I thought to myself that this is an instance it's a small example and I'm sure there's lots out there in the case of children with autism where they are able to have a different process that understands their needs so in a way it's like a redesign of reality for those children it's changing society is changing the structure of the system to support these children to be able to travel in an easier way so it's facilitating that and I thought that was really awesome and then I like to think and extrapolate well how are they going to change so many other things for these children to be able to flower in society and I wonder if they'll ever realize and be able to create the space for these children to grow up and share what it is their gift is will we even create the environment that allows what it is that's trying to flower through these children to actually flower it's one thing to create easier travel it's another thing to create easier education and it's another thing to even be able to recognize with our logical minds their gifts and their intelligence that's different than our logical minds will we be able to recognize it will we be able to support them for that to flower they have a lot better chance I think their experience is also a trance conscious experience and they have a better chance in a way because they're innocent children and they're being born this way or they're acquiring this or however it works and you can't really you know drug them up on antipsychotics when they're having a tantrum and that's what happens to people that go into trance consciousness later in life and so those people aren't allowed to flower either they're suppressed it's one thing to design things into reality so children with autism don't have tantrums and it's another thing to design it in such a way that they have the space to explore so that they actually flower not just giving them enough space so they don't get angry and have a tantrum giving them more space so they will flower in a way that surprises us maybe at some point we'll actually be able to see what it is that they have to offer we might have to create a gentler world for them and we all have to be gentler in order for that to happen and I thought about the algorithm again that's probably my next theme is the algorithm and I was thinking that the algorithm has something to do with oneness and how we arise in relationship and that relates to how I arise in relationship and working in the mental health system in the paradigm of mental illness which is against the algorithm of what it is that this energy wants to be one with because I felt before that I'm sort of whatever is happening in the situation and maybe that's getting stronger because last time I was in the psych ward it was not pretty i really felt like i was turning into a borderline as they're called by the medication that I was given and the situation I was in and is really scary and difficult to get myself out of that and I got out just in the nick of time and I feel like now I'm feeling fine right now but if I get into that situation where I'm starting to go downhill then it starts to justify the paradigm that I'm in and I don't want to be in that when I'm arising in that relationship with the mental system I want to be like you guys have it largely wrong and maybe I feel that more in my heart more than I'm able to explain to people in logic maybe it just hurts maybe it hurts partly not just because of how the system is today but what it's done to people over the years maybe my brain is extrapolating maybe my brain is seen implications and maybe my my sense is my feeling is feeling that and it's sad because if I get back to a place of super distress then my friends and family have to feed me back into that they don't really have a choice there's no other options and so then I put them in the place of needing to do that and then that creates some tension with my family a little bit because then that happened again and and then when I'm in that distress stayed I start if I'm interacting with my family then I'm taking stuff out on them when I allowed myself to get into that place in a way so again it's adding more justification to the scenario and I don't know it's just and it's interesting that I'm having trouble doing linear documents right now but I can i can speak from my heart and I can do heart-centered things maybe it's because I'm more in my heart center and that's more activated and more energetic so it's difficult to use this logic processor the heart has a different logic and I wrote that the heart logic is beyond ego logic and is the true algorithm of quantum processing we are aware consciously aware of a few bits of information yet the heart is aware of a lot more and I think that's blocked by the ego rationality and it's interesting when we're in fight-or-flight i read that we get access to more like 21 bits of information whereas if we're in regular consciousness we have access to about 4 bits my could be off on the numbers a little bit and it's interesting in fight-or-flight we don't need the ego it sort of goes away we're in a state of being ready to flee or ready to fight and so I feel like if we just didn't use the ego we weren't being used by it then we would have access to more information so again being more in one's heart centered consciousness which I think happens in the trans consciousness experience it's almost like the heart center takes precedence and the ego takes the backseat it's not like everyone's ego completely disappears and everyone has a clear mind and things like that it's that a person is acting based on the heart information first and then the ego comes in and sort of rationalizes things afterwards versus acting based on rationality and blocking out what's happening with the heart and sort of rationalizing away what's happening with the heart and so the heart logic is blocked by the ego logic and also if we were following our hearts we wouldn't necessarily early be following what our ego mind is programmed us to think is pleasure so thinking is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain and when we're in our heart and following our heart we're just following our heart we're not seeking pleasure and avoiding pain and I was thinking about how the fear state opens us up to more bits of information and that could be part of what the extreme athletes do with the flow state as they get into activities that they're sort of in fight-or-flight because they're doing these extreme activities that could actually lead to death and I was thinking about how our ego sort of programs us into thinking okay I'm going to do this and then I'm going to do this and I'm going to be successful and blah blah blah and in that thought process of how we're programmed to think is life there is some sort of safety in that like step one step two step three and then I'll be happy one day I'll be happy whereas if we were in the state of consciousness where we were in synchronicity and creating and learning and unfolding that would almost be like death is just around the corner because one isn't planning this little safe existence so I think that's part of what happens with manic consciousness and synchronicity is one is in that flow because one is just full out living and not delaying living through instant gratification and delayed happiness and part of the death thing could be related to how in synchronicity one is having an experience of ego death because one is moving in and out of being one with whatever it is one is experiencing if I am in a state of awe i'm one with that and i'm not in my ego processing if i was in my ego processing i wouldn't be in a state of awe and so then maybe I go back into your processing but then I have a conversation with somebody that is a stranger and it gets kind of deep well now I'm not an ego I'm being relational so in a way these times where the ego is not operating is an ego death an ego has to be dead or non-functional in order to be in the flow state and so one can do that through being relational with someone or one can do that by experiencing beauty and nature and I feel like to when a person goes into trance consciousness and their heart brain is more the initial processor of things and the leader one seeks more of these relational experiences and these aw experiences because it is a holistic processor of things and when we're seeing holistically we're acting holistically which isn't an ego thing and I wrote down that it seems the fear state gives us that extra bit of energy to process the extra bits from four bits to 21 bits but it also could be that since the ego is temporarily disabled that's what is the extra energy and I've talked about that before how the ego wastes energy and so we have that energy because we're in the fear state and we need it in case we need to act on these bits of information that are coming in these extra bits so it seems like all so that those extra bits of information are are there because we know we need to act and Krishnamurti talks about how thought is in action and how and to me that means that in a state where one is going to be acting one might automatically have access to more information so people that are acting in the moment have more information that they're accessing because the thought is actually preventing one from acting even if one is doing something they're not really acting because they're in their head there somewhere else in their mind so it seems like action gives that extra energy to and we don't need to necessarily be in a state of fear to be in a state of action and in the same way I could almost think to myself if I'm feeling something that feels like fear it is processing more information so it might be felt as fear but it could actually just be more information being processed and that is sort of tied into or coupled with the fearful state in our physiology because usually that's actually when we reserve action like fight or flight life or death then we must act otherwise it's easy for one to be a psychological emotional and physical couch potato so in a way that sensation of suppose it fear or anxiety could just be action calling and this job I have is kind of like in action sitting around looking at a screen that's not really action and so it could be a reaction to an action and a call for action and in a way it is because so many times when a person experiences so-called anxiety it leads us to not take action because we're feeling that fear but really there's some sort of action that needs to be taken and I was thinking about two movies that are coming out in the next while one is healing voices and I missed the screening that they had in my area but I ordered it i pre-ordered it and I think it comes out in about two weeks and I'm curious to see what kind of language they use because when i went to the voices and visions group the other week they talked about how we don't use medical language blah blah blah and then the people that presented on the hearing voices conference in paris they talked about how the hearing voices movement and group of people don't associate them with the mental illness paradigm at all they see themselves as a totally separate thing so i'm assuming this movie will touch on that and it's interesting because i'm not a voice here at this time or anything like that but i really resonate with what they're doing in that they're saying this is not a medical thing this has nothing to do with mental illness and then people that join up with that they co support each other in that they hear voices but they don't see themselves as less then they don't see themselves as mentally ill or deficient and I feel like whatever it is that I'm talking about with myself and self dialogue I don't know if it would be like trans consciousness or [Music] or visionary I've talked about visionary stuff visionary sort of sounds like oh I see things and I don't really see things as much as I am a deep processor of things and i extrapolate things and i see the implications i see what's implicit and when i see what's implicit and I talked about it and make it explicit so perhaps it is that I see the implicit order of things and not all the time like I've gone through periods where nothing comes to my mind screen so it's not like oh this is how I am all the time but what I realized is lately it seems like I'm like this more so maybe because i'm talking with myself and I feel too that I finally found a process to keep up with it in a way and I've talked about how if I just write stuff down and write stuff down and then put it on the shelf I don't even know when I'll get around to it so by writing a bit of stuff down and then talking about it and then just keep going like that and then when i add a video sometimes I I see something else and again it's not seeing as an oh I see it right in front of me I understand something I see how something might work and it's not necessarily oh this is how it works but it's a process of learning and since my brain has sort of been going in this way for a while now because I've been doing the videos it could be that by doing the videos it's a way for me to witness it and myself and make it as explicit so then more can sort of come out because if I'm just writing and I never revisiting it or I'm writing it I'm not speaking it so this process and I've talked about before is like writing reading it speaking it I'm watching myself speak it because I'm just editing out the gaps and things and that makes me hear it and see it and see what I'm saying as I'm saying it it's a process that i think is allowing it to unfold differently because i remember in the very first time I experienced this sort of opening up of my brain I saw so much and I wrote down so much and a lot of it was disjointed and and didn't really make sense but some of it did and then some of it even if it made sense it kind of was freaky even if it was positive because it was so out there but now that I've been talking to myself enough I think I've created enough context that it's slowly building on itself instead of something being so far out there it's something that as an extrapolation of something i extrapolated of something i extrapolated so it's not freaky it's not like this giant leap that kind of scares me remember one time I was like writing something about e equals MC squared or something and then I just like had this major what would be called a panic attack and like and I was just writing about e equals MC squared is that I don't even know what it was I'll probably find it one day but the process of writing would scare me maybe it was the process of learning itself that was sort of scary this process of learning so it just seems that I found a good process and I think I've talked about before to that it would be impossible to really do this with slower internet and a crappy phone so technology is sort of caught up with what it is it seems that the best medium is for me to talk to myself about this and so it almost feels like my brain is now unfolding learning in a certain way that I don't have to rely on the mental illness paradigm in a way I feel like my brain has created enough context that I feel safe in outgrowing it and it would be awesome if I could outgrow the need for medication and i'll grow needing to go to the psychiatrist and I don't even think I really need them I think I talked about before how I could probably do without it if I lived in a peaceful place and I don't mean like I have to live in the middle of nowhere and just mean in a neighborhood that doesn't have trucks going by every five minutes and also that might be the main requirement so maybe we better for me to quit my job find a peaceful place to live taper off the medication and then say bye-bye mental health paradigm and then have whatever it is that I want to create outside of that and not feel like oh I'm hypocrite because I'm still taking medication yet i'm saying i don't have a medical problem so that's that's kind of the process and and i think that would need to be tied into embodying my mania and things because if i wasn't yet embodying my mania then I wouldn't be living according to my heart and if I'm not living according to my heart I'm going to need medication for my brain so it's important for that to happen too so I think it will unfold naturally and that's why I'm not releasing these right away is because this is really for myself this is a self dialogue with myself for myself and so yeah with the healing voices movie I'm really curious to see if what they say and the things they talked about in the movie are congruent with what it is I've been talking to myself about because this is different than the mental health paradigm sort of drawing examples and parallels and difference-in-differences and things and since the healing voices movement is about or I guess it's the hearing voices movement but they call hit healing voices movie which is interesting I'm curious to see if a lot of what they say is parallel to what I've been saying because part of me I've done some reading in the past and things and then I'm doing all this talking and then the bits that i do come across it seems like they are very congruent to what it is that I'm saying even if it's something not really related to what I'm talking about even with that article about how the universities are trying to make policies more in alignment with well-being so people don't get so stressed out so they can actually do well because they're not stressed about the whole process and so they were talking about hiring listeners to listen to people through University so they have someone to talk to and I was thinking wow that's exactly what I envisioned for my community of people who have some distress and need someone to talk to but instead get a pill and so that's the ECP our thing so I just see parallels of things happening that are in alignment with what it is that I'm talking about and and that's awesome so I'm really curious to watch that movie and hear what people have to say and see if it resonates with what I'm talking about for myself and self dialogue because to go with what I'm saying if it's a different line of intelligence or it's a line of intelligence we all have it's not different it's just different than the one we've been programmed to think is intelligence which isn't actually what intelligence is it's sort of like a fake it's like a it's an artificial intelligence actually and that's what I was thinking I was thinking thought and reason and logic is it artificial intelligence its intelligence put over our natural innate intelligence so where we have artificial intelligence we have programmed bio robots walking around telling people what intelligence is when they're just programmed and there's another movie coming out that I also pre-ordered and I'm not sure when it's coming out but it's called crazy wise and it's been a long time in the making and I'm sure it'll change a lot of things and I don't know what it's about exactly but I know it'll be about different perspectives of mental health and so I'm interested to watch that too to see if it's congruent with what I've been talking to myself about creating context about and I'm wondering what I'll be able to extrapolate from those movies I'll definitely do that

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/bipolar_inquiry.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.