We Should Probably Edit This — But We Won't

Episode 40 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't is a catch-up episode — and they have a lot to catch up on. Matthew and Nancy recap a summer that included flying to Florida to help Nancy's mom (and discovering a collapsed septic line on arrival), four days of retirement scouting in St. Augustine, and a gender reveal that means grandchild number five is a girl — and she'll be right there in the same town.

There's also the Ultra event in New York City, which got them thinking about how small they are in the grand scheme of things and how much more they want to do. Matthew tipped his bike in the driveway, lost a thumbnail on the Belgian block, and ended up at the ER at 7 AM. They went to a strawberry festival with one strawberry vendor. They did six miles on the Newport cliff walk with an injured hand and couldn't turn back.

Through all of it — health struggles, behavior change, bougie travel standards, and a son who can't decide what he wants for his 30th birthday — they're still figuring it out. Together. Loudly.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Four days max — with anyone, anywhere; it keeps everybody loving each other
• Changing a behavior takes time — years of habits don't shift overnight; give yourself grace
• Explore before you decide — retirement scouting is about narrowing down, not locking in
• Bring the joy even when it's hard — especially when you're in a crowd of people who aren't
• Slow and steady wins — two pounds a month beats crash dieting every time
• Sometimes you just have to commit — the cliff walk had no exit; you finish or you finish

Episode 39 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't opens with Matthew spending 40 minutes trying to get the setup right — which Nancy has exactly zero patience for. From there they get into the real stuff: where do they want to retire? They used an astrocartography tool to narrow it down and landed on Portugal, Spain, Italy, Charleston, and Sarasota as their top five destinations to explore. Portugal is first up in September.

They also get into the MOVES method — a flexibility and mobility routine that's revealing just how inflexible two people in their 60s can be. The wedges are on the floor. The neighbor who paddleboards in a wetsuit in January is the goal. And Matthew is eyeing rowing while Nancy wants to get back to dance class. Meanwhile, the body isn't cooperating the way it used to, and they're both trying to figure out what that means going forward.

Also: Nancy told Matthew to pick one project. He narrowed it down to three. Progress.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Pick one project and master it — doing too many things at once means nothing gets done well
• Plan your retirement before someone else plans it for you — explore while you still can choose
• Use tools to explore, not decide — astrocartography gave them destinations, not answers
• Your future self is trying to tell you something — the flexibility work now is about tying your shoes at 80
• Know your strengths — Matthew's a Learner/Achiever; Nancy doesn't want to learn the tech, she wants it to work
• Find exercise you'll actually do — gym failed, yoga failed, tennis and dance might stick

Episode 38 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't opens outside on Mother's Day — with background noise, a sick Nancy, and a brand new used convertible Matthew has barely figured out how to drive. They're fresh back from four days in Miami with the grandkids, and little Millie in her sparkly dress and cowboy boots at story time may be the highlight of the episode.

But things get real fast. Matthew and Nancy get into the conversations couples avoid: aging parents who don't want help, financial independence, and the difference between people who push to keep growing and people who quietly decide "this is it." It's honest, a little uncomfortable, occasionally funny, and completely unedited — which is exactly the point.

Also: Matthew needs to get his eyes checked. Nancy said so. Publicly.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Four days is the limit — presence matters, but so does knowing when it's time to go
• Kids don't teach you to be present — grandkids do — you can finally appreciate the chaos without being in the middle of it
• Plan for the life you want, or someone else will plan it for you — watching aging parents is a mirror for your own future
• Push to keep growing — "this is it" is a choice, not a requirement
• Have the hard conversations — dancing around the elephant in the room doesn't make it smaller
• Know yourself at the doctor — your history, your questions, your standards of care

Episode 37 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't starts with a fall — Nancy goes down hard on pavement leaving church, knees and wrist taking the hit — and somehow gets more chaotic from there. While Matthew joins a Zoom call in the waiting room, Nancy wanders into the wrong exam room and single-handedly discombobulates an entire urgent care office. Classic Nancy and Matthew energy.

But underneath the laughs, this episode gets real. Matthew and Nancy talk about how couples communicate (and miscommunicate), why 75% of the time is actually pretty good, and what it means to handle unexpected setbacks without falling apart. They also get into something a lot of people avoid: taking ownership of your own health. Knowing your body, asking the right questions, advocating for yourself, and — Matthew, this means you — actually making the appointment.

It's messy, it's funny, and it's very, very unedited.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Couples communication is never perfect — 75% is a win; it's the other 25% that keeps things interesting
• Find the humor — when life knocks you down (literally), laughing through it beats staying mad
• Handle it, then adjust — address the immediate crisis first, then figure out how it changes your plans
• Own your health — know your body, ask good questions, and don't use "I don't know the doctor" as an excuse not to go
• Your spouse is your best advocate — sometimes it takes someone who knows you to push you through the door

Recorded on Easter Sunday, Episode 36 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't takes a reflective turn as Matthew and Nancy explore the phrases and personal growth mantras that have quietly become part of how they think, talk, and live. These aren't things they would've said when they first got married — but somewhere along the way, words like "honor the struggle," "bring the joy," "what would my better self do?", and "rejection is God's redirection" became part of their vocabulary. And they mean it.

They get into the messy middle of setbacks, what it really means to summon the best of yourself, and why "just one more" can be the hardest — and most important — thing you say to yourself. They also talk about faith, legacy, grandkids, learning to listen to their adult kids without parenting them, and why being present in the moment is something grandparenting finally taught them to actually do.

It's funny, it's honest, it's recorded on Easter — and yes, they will not be editing it.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 People Mentioned:

• Ed Mylett — source of the "just one more" concept
• Nancy's mom — referenced in the context of saying things your parents used to say
• Matthew and Nancy's adult children and grandchildren (unnamed)

🏢 Companies/Organizations Mentioned:

• BlackRock Church
• GrowthDay / Ultra (Brendon Burchard)

Ever wonder why your partner thinks the way they do — and why no amount of explaining seems to change it? Matthew and Nancy took the Gallup CliftonStrengths assessment through a leadership class at their church, and the results were equal parts validating and hilarious. Matthew's strengths — Learner, Achiever, Futuristic, Belief, and Responsibility — put him squarely in strategic thinking mode, always planning, always visioning, always reaching for what's next. Nancy's strengths — Communication, Consistency, Significance, Harmony, and Responsibility — make her a powerhouse of influence, relationship, and execution. The twist? His top two are her bottom two. Her influencing strengths are nowhere in his top 10. And somehow they've been making it work for 37+ years without knowing why.

In this episode they unpack the four quadrants — executing, influencing, relationship building, and strategic thinking — and what it looks like when a couple brings completely different ones to the table. About why Nancy doesn't need to be a strategic thinker, and why Matthew needs to stop requiring her to be one. And yes — about the moment Nancy dictated an entire list to Claude AI during a 45-minute drive just to get Matthew his beloved bullet points.

Stop trying to fix your weaknesses. Stop trying to change your partner's wiring. This episode makes the case for leaning hard into what you're actually great at — together.

• His tops are her bottoms — and that's actually the point
• Weaknesses aren't meant to be fixed, they're meant to be acknowledged and handed off
• Four quadrants: executing, influencing, relationship building, strategic thinking — and most couples don't bring the same ones
• When you stop trying to change your partner's wiring and start working with it, everything gets easier
• Hire, delegate, or partner to cover what you're not wired for
• Nancy's son called her "spicy" years ago — turns out Harmony's description of "straightforward" basically confirms it
• Matthew has been futuristic and strategic since 2014 — the top two just swapped
• Executing is where they both shine and where they get things done together — selling the house proved it

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 People Mentioned:

• Mel Robbins — mentioned in reference to the 5-4-3-2-1 rule

🏢 Companies/Organizations Mentioned:

• Gallup CliftonStrengths — the assessment Matthew and Nancy took
• GrowthDay — referenced as a past personal development experience
• Claude — Nancy's shortcut to making Matthew's beloved list (yes, really)

In Episode 34, Nancy and Matthew explore the power of clarity in relationships, life decisions, and the next chapter ahead. They reflect on how, early in marriage, assumptions often replaced communication—and how real clarity only comes through growth, experience, and intentional conversations.

Now in a new phase of life, they break down their individual top priorities—from faith and marriage to financial freedom, legacy, and purpose—and discover that alignment isn’t about being identical, but about understanding each other deeply.

They also share insights from their recent GrowthDay event in San Diego, where conversations around AI sparked a new level of curiosity, creativity, and possibility for the future.

This episode is honest, reflective, and full of those “wait… that’s actually important” moments that come from real-life conversations.

Takeaways:

1. Clarity in a relationship is a gradual development that requires ongoing communication and understanding.
2. Early assumptions in marriage often lack true clarity, leading to misunderstandings and unmet expectations.
3. Identifying evolving priorities such as faith, family, and finances fosters greater alignment within a long-term partnership.
4. Reflecting on personal goals is essential for couples to navigate the complexities of their relationship effectively.
5. Recent travel experiences can provide fresh perspectives on personal clarity and future aspirations.
6. Leveraging technology, such as AI, can enhance decision-making processes and improve communication in relationships.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

1. GrowthDay
2. ChatGPT
3. Claude
4. Gemini

We’ve been in the thick of it.

In this episode, Nancy and Matthew catch up after a whirlwind few weeks of showings, offers, inspections, permits, repairs, packing, and finally selling the house. What started as a big decision quickly turned into a full-on sprint—and now, with closing around the corner, they’re beginning to exhale.

They talk honestly about stress, emotional overload, community, faith, health, and what it feels like to leave one chapter behind while stepping into a brand-new season of life. From snowstorms and storage bins to retirement planning and the power of asking for “seven minutes,” this episode is a real look at transition, resilience, and starting fresh.

Takeaways:

1. The recent transition of selling our house transformed into an overwhelming experience filled with stress and emotional challenges.
2. Navigating the complexities of home inspections and permits proved to be a significant source of anxiety during the selling process.
3. We learned the importance of maintaining faith and community support throughout stressful transitions in life, particularly during major moves.
4. The phrase 'seven minutes' serves as a vital reminder that reaching out for support during stressful times can be incredibly beneficial to one's well-being.
5. Our journey has underscored the necessity of planning ahead when undertaking significant life changes, such as selling a long-term residence.
6. Ultimately, embracing the chaos and uncertainty of change can lead to profound personal growth and new beginnings.

An epic snowstorm forces an unexpected pause—and we finally take it.

From house showings and Airbnb escapes to IKEA overload, grocery-store chaos, and the strange calm that only a snow day brings, this episode is about perspective. We talk about slowing down, controlling what you can control, respecting different viewpoints, and why personal growth matters more than arguing about the world.

It’s reflective, cozy, honest, and a reminder that sometimes the best thing you can do is exhale.

Takeaways:

1. The unexpected pause brought about by the snowstorm serves as a valuable reminder to embrace moments of relaxation and reflection amidst life's chaos.
2. In navigating through life's complexities, it is essential to focus on personal growth rather than engaging in futile arguments about differing perspectives.
3. The ability to control one's own reactions and emotions is paramount in fostering personal development and harmony in relationships with others.
4. Experiencing a snow day can illuminate the beauty of stillness and encourage a sense of gratitude for the simple joys of life.
5. Taking time to understand opposing viewpoints can enrich personal understanding and enhance interpersonal relationships, leading to greater empathy and compassion.
6. The snowstorm's quietude highlights the importance of appreciating the present moment and recognizing the necessity of slowing down in our fast-paced lives.

In this episode, we talk about perspective — how it changes as you get older, how life forces you to set boundaries, and why the things that once felt overwhelming don’t always carry the same weight anymore.

We reflect on faith, setbacks, and the reality that challenges don’t disappear — but your ability to handle them evolves. From selling our home and navigating unexpected obstacles, to learning when to pivot instead of panic, this conversation is about maturity, perseverance, and doing hard things one step at a time.

If you’re in a season of change, questioning your decisions, or feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate, this episode is a reminder: perspective comes with time — and progress comes from simply keeping going.

Takeaways:

1. The passage of time and accumulated experiences significantly alter one's perspective on life's challenges.
2. During youth, obstacles often appear insurmountable; maturity fosters resilience and wisdom in navigating difficulties.
3. Setting boundaries evolves with age, leading to a refined understanding of what one can tolerate.
4. Facing setbacks requires a pivoting mindset, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth and progress.
5. The mantra 'one step at a time' serves as a crucial survival strategy during overwhelming situations.
6. Reflecting on faith and perseverance can provide clarity and motivation during life's most trying seasons.