What if your inner critic isn’t the enemy but a scared part of you trying (very badly) to keep you safe?

In this deeply honest, expansive conversation, I sit down with my very first life coach, Kate Swoboda, to unpack fear, self-doubt, nervous system safety, and what real courage looks like over the long haul.

Together, we explore:

1. why fighting your inner critic only makes it louder
2. how self-compassion is anything but fluffy
3. why alignment—not ease—is the true measure of an unruly life

This episode gives brilliant insight into nuance, integrity, and reclaiming your power without harming yourself.

If you’re done white-knuckling your way through growth and ready for a more humane, sustainable way to live, lead, and create, this one’s for you. Hint: This is exactly how I went from self-loathing to self-loving.

👯‍♀️ Connect with Kate

Find Kate and all her brilliance at 👉 yourcourageouslife.com and checkout her Level 1 ICF Accredited Coach Training (where I got certified) at TeamCLCC.com

📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED

1. The Unruly Collective
2. Kate's books: The Courage Habit and 100% Fully Alive

We the Unruly is building a movement of folks creating their own paradigms of how to live, love, and lead while building lives, businesses, impacts, and legacies built from truth, power, pleasure, rebellion, and the kind of unapologetic self-expression that makes fragile men miss the days of complacent, agreeable women.

We call it living your legacy NOW and if you vibe, you belong. Come join us in The Unruly Collective and be in community with folks who “get” it.

Jen Vertanen is the founder of We the Unruly—a living rebellion against self-betrayal disguised as success.

With 30 years of turning vision into reality and her own hard-won evolution, she works with leaders and creators who are done diluting their power and ready to build what only they can.

Known for her sharp insight and disarming humor, Jen helps people live, lead, and create legacies without performing, shrinking, or self-abandoning.

Stay Connected: YouTube | Website | Facebook | Instagram

👋🏼 Thanks for listening!

We the Unruly song written by Wendy Babcock

Lisa's? Live her legacy NOW.

In this inaugural live episode of We the Unruly, I sit down with my soul-friend, accountability buddy, and gratitude practitioner Lisa Condon for a deeply vulnerable, completely off-the-cuff conversation about belonging, self-trust, redefining success, and living your legacy while you’re still here to enjoy it.

What unfolds is equal parts heart-expanding, spicy, rebellious, and grounding.

We pull back the curtain on what it really looks like to un-become the stories you were handed, step into who you actually are, and create impact from that place of embodied truth.

The conversation touches everything from perfectionism, ambition, identity, spiritual downloads, the cycle of gratitude, ADHD realities (including brushing your teeth 👀), feral raccoon energy, and the freedom that comes from finally deciding: “EFF it — I get to live my life my way.”

Listen in and let's get Unruly!

👯‍♀️ Connect with Lisa

Find Lisa and all her brilliance at 👉 lisacondon.com

📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED

1. The Unruly Collective
2. How gratitude impacts the brain from Harvard Review
3. Big A$$ Wall Calendar (Lisa got the wall version and I got the journal version to help us both see 2026 at a glance because we each have BIG plans)

We the Unruly is building a movement of folks creating their own paradigms of how to live, love, and lead while building lives, businesses, impacts, and legacies built from truth, power, pleasure, rebellion, and the kind of unapologetic self-expression that makes fragile men miss the days of complacent, agreeable women.

We call it living your legacy NOW and if you vibe, you belong. Come join us in The Unruly Collective and be in community with folks who “get” it.

Jen Vertanen is the founder of We the Unruly—a living rebellion against self-betrayal disguised as success.

With 30 years of turning vision into reality and her own hard-won evolution, she works with leaders and creators who are done diluting their power and ready to build what only they can.

Known for her sharp insight and disarming humor, Jen helps people live, lead, and create legacies without performing, shrinking, or self-abandoning.

Stay Connected: YouTube | Website | Facebook | Instagram

👋🏼 Thanks for listening!

We the Unruly song written by Wendy Babcock

Feeling STUCK in a life that no longer fits?

(you are SO not alone...not by a long shot which is one of the core reasons why I created BE. DARE. CREATE.)

You know that moment when everything in your life should feel fine, maybe even great, but deep down, something feels off? That restless feeling, the nagging thought that there has to be more?

That’s what my guest, Amy Pons, calls the pinch.

It’s that moment of realization when the career, the relationships, the day-to-day grind no longer align with who you truly are and want to BE.

In this episode of BE. DARE. CREATE., Amy and I dive super deep into how to break free from the copy-paste life, rewrite the rules, and step into the FULL power of your magic. 

Whether you’re feeling disconnected from your purpose, stuck in a job that drains you, or just craving something more, this conversation is ABSOLUTELY for you.

(We also talk about vulvas...it's a good one!)

Amy and I talk about...

• How to recognize "the pinch" - that moment when life no longer feels...'right' and what to do with it
• Why it's so forking important to recognize when you're 'shoulding' on yourself and how to define success on your terms so you can stop that already
• Healing in only ever an inside job and how to get started
• Your body knows...it absolutely knows and how to actually tap into it for wisdom and decision-making
• Vulvas...so much vulva talk but it's all super relative to how you BE, how you get stuff done (CREATE), how you show up (DARE), how you heal
• And lots lots more...

Meet Amy Pons
Amy Pons is an intuitive coach, marketing expert, and host of the podcast Women Making Moves. After spending decades climbing the corporate ladder, she had a soul-stirring realization—she wasn’t truly living. Now, she helps women step into their full power by embracing who they were always meant to be.

Connect w/ Amy

Listen to Amy’s Podcast: Women Making Moves, esp. my episode on giving yourself permission

Follow Amy: Unlock The Magic | LinkedIn

Mentioned In This Episode

The Vulva Gallery on Instagram

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

*cw we discuss death and I share bits of story around my mom's passing

In this deeply insightful episode, I sit down with Aypril Porter, a certified death doula and Human Design expert. We explore what it truly means to navigate end-of-life transitions, the emotional and spiritual aspects of death, and how Human Design can play a powerful role in healing, relationships, and self-discovery.

Aypril shares her unexpected journey into death work, how her family’s unspoken grief shaped her curiosity about loss, and why death doulas are becoming more recognized for the vital role they play. 

We also dive into Human Design—how understanding our unique energetic blueprint can help us trust ourselves more fully, navigate relationships, and even bring peace at the end of life.

If you’ve ever felt uncertain about grief, death, or your own life’s direction, this conversation will shift your perspective in the best way possible.

Resources & Links

🔗 Connect with Aypril Porter

• Website: https://www.ayprilporter.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ayprilporter

📚 Books Mentioned in This Episode

• Parenting the Child You Have – Aypril Porter
• Understanding Human Design – Karen Curry Parker
• The Definitive Book of Human Design – Ra Uru Hu & Lynda Bunnell

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

Ready for a raw, real conversation about self-acceptance, coming out later in life, and giving yourself permission to live authentically?In this episode, I chat with Lisa Kirkman, host of Big Gay Overalls podcast, about her journey from feeling like she was watching her life in third person to fully owning who she is.Lisa shares her powerful story of breaking free from the "shoulds," finding her voice, and creating a life that actually fits instead of forcing herself to fit into a life that wasn't meant for her.We dive deep into what it means to accept yourself, set boundaries without feeling like an asshole, and intentionally design a life you love.Whether you identify as queer or not, this episode is foranyone who's ever felt like they're living someone else's version of success.On today's episode all about self-acceptance so you can live YOUR best damn life, we discuss:Why self-acceptance is a manual process, not an automatic oneHow to stop protecting everyone else at the cost of yourselfThe freedom that comes from giving zero f*cks about others' expectationsWhy tiny steps forward are more powerful than you thinkThe importance of finding your ride-or-die support systemUse Lisa's story as inspiration to get out of your own damn way and create YOUR Best Damn Life.This conversation is your permission slip to start.Read the transcript, watch the YouTube video, and get the show notes on Your Best Damn Life here.

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

*Note: This is an extra sweary episode because sometimes that's exactly what the topic calls for. You've been warned!*If you're tired of feeling burnt out, spread thin, and giving f*cks about things that don't actually matter...this episode is your permission slip to stop that shit. Here's the truth - you have a finite number of f*cks to give, and society, culture, family - hell, even that rando on Instagram - all have opinions about where those should go. But you know what? That sneaky little f*cker called "should" has been running your show without you even realizing it and that stops NOW.So today, we're changing all that because when you know better, you do better. And it's never too late to start giving the right f*cks.On today's episode all about protecting your energy so you can live YOUR best damn life, we discuss:Why you're treating your f*cks like confetti at the NYE party you didn't even want to attendHow giving too many f*cks is draining your emotional energy i.e. getting in the way of you living your best life5 types of f*ck-giving that are burning and stressin' you outA framework for becoming a connoisseur of f*ck-giving (so fancy!)And ends with The F*ck Yeah Challenge: Your step-by-step guide to reallocating your f*cks.Read the transcript, watch the YouTube video, and get the show notes on the Your Best Damn Life website here.

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

We ALL carry some form of shame with us each and every day and often, it's THE THING™ that stops us from moving forward on what we actually want for and from our life.In this powerful episode, I'm joined by shame expert Karen C.L. Anderson as we dive deep into the world of shame, self-compassion, and healing.Listen in for...Karen's innovative "Shame Box" method for dealing with her internalized shame dailyHow to break generational cycles of shame and self-doubtKaren's 6 N's framework for shame resilienceWhy "fixing" shame doesn't work (and what to do instead)Navigating complex mother-daughter relationshipsPractical strategies for self-compassion and healingKaren shares personal stories, expert insights, and actionable advice for anyone struggling with shame, difficult family dynamics, or the journey to self-love. Whether you're dealing with your own shame or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable tools for transformation.Join us for an honest, sometimes funny, and always compassionate conversation about embracing your authentic self (including the shame you carry!) and living your best damn life!QUOTESKaren on being human: "We are humans and we're going to f*ck up.We're going to say the wrong thing. We're going to hurt people. We will always have that in us, the ability or the capacity to hurt others. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not."Jen on the dangers of saying "mindset is everything...": "I think it's actually dangerous when folks think that, or they're told that mindset is everything. I find it very harmful. I used to fall into that camp, right? And then doing my own research and ngoing through my own healing process, I, I was like, no, that is actually very harmful."Karen on unapologetic joy: "There was something very intoxicating about being witnessed in my joy..."#ShameResilience #SelfDiscoveryJourney #EmbraceImperfection #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipHealing #BreakingGenerationalCycles #LiveYourBestLife #JenVertanenPodcast #YourBestDamnLifeCONNECT W/ SHAME EXPERT KAREN C.L. ANDERSONWebsite: https://kclanderson.comKaren's Shame School: https://www.kclanderson.com/shame-schoolDifficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: https://a.co/d/8kVfpNQYou Are Not Your Mother: https://a.co/d/1Kn1THxOvercoming Creative Anxiety: https://a.co/d/6lSz0moInsta: https://instagram.com/kclandersonKaren's 6 Ns.: https://kclanderson.ck.page/posts/this-is-how-i-free-myself-from-shame-every-dayRESOURCES MENTIONEDThe Single Most Important Parenting Strategy | Becky Kennedy, TED SpeakerYou can now watch Your Best Damn Life on YouTube! Head on over, subscribe, and click the notification button so you get fancy ass alerts each time a new episode goes live.Snag my free "Get Out Of Your Own Damn Way" guide 

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

Are you tired of chasing someone else's definition of success? In this unfiltered episode of YOUR Best Damn Life, I'm (Jen Vertanen - your pink-haired, unapologetically sweary, no b.s. coachsultant with 30+years of experience helping folks do epic shit) breaking down why it's crucial to define success on YOUR own terms. We dive into:👀 Why societal pressure keeps us stuck in unfulfilling "success"🕵🏼 How to spot if you're living someone else's dream🪩 A step-by-step guide to crafting your unique success definition🤌🏼 Practical tips for owning your path, even when others don't get itWhether you're feeling stuck in a soul-sucking career, dreaming of a major life change, or just sensing there's more to life, this episode is your roadmap to creating a truly fulfilling Best Damn Life. Learn how to give societal expectations the middle finger and start living success on your own badass terms.You can now watch Your Best Damn Life on YouTube! Head on over, subscribe, and click the notification button so you get fancy ass alerts each time a new episode goes live.Snag my free "Get Out Of Your Own Damn Way" guide yourbestdamnlife.com/subscribeReady to go all-in? yourbestdamnlife.com/work-togetherDon't do it alone! Join fellow cycle breakers in our FREE facebook community facebook.com/groups/fyeahlifewithjenvertanen/Come say HI! on the socials...I LOVE having convos in my DMs!FacebookInstaThreads

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

In this episode of Living Your Best Damn Life One "F*ck Yeah I Did" At A Time, I (your host Jen Vertanen) sit down with the fantabulous Angela Briones, creator of The Gay Podcast For Everyone.Ready for some holy-sh*t-I-needed-to-hear-that moments? Listen in!If you've ever felt too old, too gay, or too [insert your flavor of self-doubt here] to chase your dreams...Angela and I are here to call BS and we'll tell you exactly why and more importantly, share ideas for HOW to move through it.We explore things like....Starting a podcast in midlife (spoiler: it's never too late even when you have a day job and even when friends and family think you're whack)The power of "what would Ruby do?" in kicking fear's ass in Angela's life and why knowing YOUR own motivations is so damn importantPractical strategies to deal with imposter syndrome and the "who am I to do this?"How journaling might just save your sanity (and your dreams)Being a "box disruptor" and challenging societal expectations, especially as we ageAnd so much more...Whether you're thinking of starting a podcast, coming out, or just need a kick in the pants to do that thing you've been putting off, this episode is your permission slip to get shit done (plus you see one of my fave t-shirts...it has b👀bs!).Warning: Side effects may include sudden urges to start a podcast, write that book, or live your most authentic life. Proceed with caution or don't, and just dive in headfirst!Tune in for an episode that'll leave you feeling like you can conquer the world one "F*ck Yeah, I Did" at a time! QUOTESAngela on not starting sooner:  "It always kinda haunts me, to be honest. Like, it always haunts me that I didn't do something when I really wanted to because it's just wasted time..."Jen on just getting started: "It’s essential not to let less-than-ideal conditions stop you from starting your "thing"."Angela on finding motivation: "The memory of my friend Ruby, who was vibrant and unfiltered but passed away young, drives me to push past hesitations and continue creating."Angela on working with and moving through her inner critic: "I transitioned from stream-of-consciousness journaling to more intentional, question-focused writing to understand and address my inner critic."#livingyourbestlife  #boldAF #personaldevelopment #selfempowerment  #authenticliving  #mindsetshift  #intentionalliving #lifeonyourterms  #jenvertanenpodcast #agingpowerfully #lgbtqiavoices #thegaypodcastforeveryone #overcomingfearCONNECT W/ JENWebsite: https://jenvertanen.com/Threads: https://threads.net/jen.vertanenInsta: https://instagram.com/jen.vertanen YouTube: https://youtube.com/@JenVertanenCONNECT W/ ANGELAThreads: https://threads.net/@thegaypodcast_foreveryoneInsta: https://instagram.com/thegaypodcast_foreveryoneThe Gay Podcast For Everyone: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gay-podcast-for-everyone/id1542424590RESOURCES MENTIONEDJulia Cameron's The...

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.

Are you ready to cut through the BS and create your own best damn life? In this no-holds-barred episode of "Living Your Best Damn Life One 'F*ck Yeah I Did' At A Time," I'm diving deep into what living your best life is NOT and what it actually IS.We explore things like.... - Why thinking you "should" have your ish together 24/7 is total BS - The trap of #blessed social media perfection - How to ditch someone else's life blueprint for your life - Honoring your life's realitiesWhethe...

Want to get in on your own version of BE. DARE. CREATE. Your Life. Your Legacy?

First step is giving yourself PERMISSION. Download my {free} guide if you're ready to get started today!

Head on over to jenvertanen.com/podcast for show notes and other binge-worthy episodes.

🫶🏼 If you loved this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. It means the world and helps more people find these conversations!

I'm Jen Vertanen. Speaker. Coach. No-B.S. Transformation Partner. I'm your kick-in-the-ass strategic partner who helps high-achieving overthinkers, perfectionists, and dreamers stop stalling, start taking bold action, and build a life & legacy that makes their 80-yo selves proud. No fluff. No waiting. Just real, unapologetic permission & momentum.