Weirdos In the Workplace

Erin Patchell:

G'day friends. And welcome back to another episode of Weirdos in the Workplace, where we discuss how authenticity, transparency, passion, and purpose leads to more visionary organizations. I'm your host, Erin Pachel, and today I have a very special guest with us. Everyone, meet Laura. Wellman, welcome to the podcast, Laura.

Lara Wellman:

Thanks for having me.

Erin Patchell:

Laura is a certified business coach who believes small business owners make more money, love the work they do, and still have time to enjoy their lives. She is a professional coach, delivers group programs, workshops, and events, is soon to be an author, and helps business owners get the clarity they need to take the right action for them and their businesses. We're really excited to have you.

Lara Wellman:

Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

Erin Patchell:

Awesome. Stay tuned.

[intro music]

Erin Patchell:

Welcome to the show, Lara. And what are we talking about today?

Lara Wellman:

So I'm really excited to have a conversation about what it means to be authentically yourself, to trust who you are, to be the person that you are without feeling like you need to change things so that you can enjoy your work. Because I think a lot of us spend our times trying to be something else in order to get to that successful part of what it means to be in business. And really what a lot of what needs to happen is just to be more you and to figure out what that is so you can thrive and enjoy it.

Erin Patchell:

Yeah, I totally agree. What's the point of life and work if we can't love what we do and find some joy in the process and the outcome?

Lara Wellman:

Yeah. When we go into business and we decide that's what we want to do, a lot of the time people say to me, it's about finding freedom. It's about being able to do the things we want to do. And then suddenly people instead find themselves all like, I don't know, maybe this is even worse than before. And some of it is just because we don't allow ourselves to figure out how to just be okay with who we are, what's going on, and then use that to move forward. Yeah.

Erin Patchell:

I would consider you to be a fairly well known business coach in our community. It seems that everyone I talk to, they know exactly who you are and what you stand for and the different communities you've created over the years. And you've been around for a little while now. I'm curious, what inspired you to go down this path and become a business coach?

Lara Wellman:

So I've been a business owner for 16 years now. I've had a variety of businesses. My very first business was a clothing store. Then I did social media and marketing consulting. And it was about eight years ago that I decided I wanted to do business coaching specifically. And for me, it started with, as a marketing person, having people not really understand all the basics of what they needed in order to have a good marketing plan, right? So you say in order to have a good marketing plan, there's a certain amount of information that you need about your business in order to create a good plan. And so I would talk to people and be like, you don't have the information. So some people would say, you're going to need to talk to a business coach. You're going to need to go do this business planning. And I was like, I would like to help you figure that out. I really like that part. Yeah. And so that's how it happened. And so I just started doing a little bit, and then I went and did some training. And really for the last almost eight years, business coaching has been the thing that I'm doing first and foremost. And I love it because I'm helping people figure out not just how to get their name out there, but how to see where the possibility exists to make more money without it being this constant hustle struggle. That's such a big thing for me. I'm not a person with a ton of hustle energy, and so I'm like, well, how do we do it without hustle energy? Well, maybe we don't need to hustle. We just need to figure out what works and do more of that.

Erin Patchell:

How do you do that? How do you help people figure out what works?

Lara Wellman:

Tell me your secrets. Yeah. Part of it is figuring out what's not working right when you're having a conversation. One of the things I hear a lot are, I should be doing XYZ. This is what I should be doing. Okay, maybe not, but I hear it a lot. People have a lot of ideas of what they should be doing, and then I hear a lot of so I just need to do it. I just need to do it. Usually when I hear I just need to do it, it means they've been trying to do it for a long time and not doing it right. So it's just over and over again, I'm just going to do that thing that I have never been able to do before and I hate doing and I never do it. Okay, so just doing it means you've decided it's the only way to move forward and there's no other choice. I have to do it. If I want to be successful, I have to do this thing that is 100% not working. I just need to do it.

Erin Patchell:

And there's a big difference between I should do this and I just need to do this, isn't there?

Lara Wellman:

Well, there is, but they start to get locked together, right? I should do it. I need to do it. It grows. The longer you don't do it, the more people start beating themselves up and they're like, why just do this thing? Yeah.

Erin Patchell:

I'm always curious about what is a guilt focused or shame focused should versus a cognitive process. Like, this is a good strategic thing that I should be doing or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, what am I doing for other people versus doing myself?

Lara Wellman:

Yeah. And I think should is often something like we've just been told has to happen. I want to do it. I do a lot of let's replace should with want to. I want to do that. Right. Not, I should do it. I want to do that. And if you don't want to do it, is there an alternative? There's almost always an alternative to how you can do a thing. And that's what I'm trying to look for. So when I hear people, I can see they're getting stuck. They're doing the same things that aren't working and they're frustrated. That's when we're like, okay, so we're not just going to keep bashing through. My analogy is, like, you're standing in front of a brick wall, and people are like, I need to get through the brick wall, and they're just banging through these bricks like they're bloody and black and blue. And I'm like, I just would like you to back up with me because there's a door 10ft to your left. We just need to stop for long enough from where you think you're so positive, you need to be moving forward. And there's no other option, no matter how hard it is, to see how we can back up and find an alternative. And there often is. But if you're so stuck on, I need to, I need to, I have to, I can't stop, you're not going to see it. So that's what I do a lot of it's finding, right? So I have a lot of years of experience. I've done a lot of training. I have the ability to give people tactical information. But part of it is stop, breathe. What's going on? What would work better?

Erin Patchell:

Are there a lot of common challenges that the business owners you work with tend to have?

Lara Wellman:

There are. I think some of them are just not thinking that they're ready for the next thing. Like there's going to be a magical time when they feel ready for the next big growth moment, right? So I'm not ready to charge more. I'm not ready to take on that program. I'm not ready to offer that kind of program or that level of work. And they all are. They're ready. And a lot of the time, it's just a matter of what would need to happen for you to go for it and having somebody in their corner. So whether they're working with me one on one or I do a lot of group coaching, when you have people who believe in you, it's a lot easier to believe in yourself. And so that's where community is so important to me, because so many business owners are sitting at their desk feeling like they're the only one who hasn't figured this out. Everybody else is so good at this thing, and why can't I just figure it out, right? It's like this whole angsty, like, why am I sucking when nobody else sucks? And then when you get in a room of people who are like, oh, I feel like that too, and they're like, you not you, but you're. So whatever they think of that person, right? And then suddenly you're like, okay, now I'm not the only one who feels that way. And to know that whatever level you are at your business, there's going to be new Impostor Syndrome, there's going to be new things, right? We're not getting to some kind of end zone where suddenly everything is perfect and flowers and rainbows every minute of the day. People have Impostor Syndrome challenges in their seven and eight figure businesses. So when you stop beating yourself up for struggling or not being confident and instead you're like, okay, that's okay. This is part of the process. What do I do now? How do I move forward? It's so much easier than just being like, I suck. I knew it. Yeah.

Erin Patchell:

That's where that authenticity kind of shield comes from, almost, right? It's like the more authentic you can be in your own life, the more you realize, the more authentic the people around you can be too. And then you can break down those masks, those shields.

Lara Wellman:

Yeah, I'm lucky. The people that I am surrounded with are very authentic. I think part of that is the way that I communicate in the world, attracts people who like that, and I receive it in kind. But I think people crave that, right? Like, they're not looking for this perfect veneer. They're not looking for perfection. And like, oh, I can see that. You sound very professional. And I think things are shifting in what people want and how people feel comfortable. And I think it's important to create spaces where people can be safe to be themselves. And that's where the magic starts to happen. The more comfortable you are with yourself and confident because you see that it is well received. The more people are attracted to you, the more your business grows, the more things work versus trying to be something else to have things work.

Erin Patchell:

Do you have any particular I mean, obviously don't mention any names or anything, but do you have any experiences that you've had with clients where that philosophy has just sort of rubbed off and really helped somebody?

Lara Wellman:

I mean, I think so. I really feel like the people who work with me start to just first of all, I hear people say things that we talk about to other people. Like it grows, right? Like the belief that we're just able to be ourselves and have that work and enjoy life and work less. Like, all of these things just kind of grow. And I know I have so many clients who tell me they now have like a little Lara on their shoulder when they're going through things, right? That means that they really have started to believe what I'm saying, right. It's carrying it with them and I think that that carries through into their businesses. Certainly it's one of the ways I think there's like that trickle effect of my work is people pass that on and they have staff and they have clients and all of this is just a matter of like let's stop trying to hustle harder for everything. Let's stop trying to be this list of criteria somebody made up that is what we think is supposed to be success and let's just break the rules. Let's break some of the rules. Some of the rules are not important, some of the rules are just habits. And we just need to say how can we do things differently? I don't care. One of the sort of a trigger statement to me is when anybody wants to do something simply because that's how it's always been done to me. That means it's time to look for something else. There's almost nothing that's always been done one way that shouldn't change now for sure.

Erin Patchell:

Do you have any particular frameworks or models that you like to use in your work with your clients?

Lara Wellman:

No, not really. And I'll tell you, it's because I think every person needs not every single person, but it's always about looking for an individual thing that I think is going to work for somebody. So I talk a lot, just in general about my ADHD diagnosis and being neurodivergent, but also just because of my ADHD diagnosis. I've done a lot of learning about brains. And brains are so different. They're so different and the way people are motivated by things, the way people take action on things. There's no one system that I believe will work. So I have different things. I'm like, oh, let's do the Eisenhower matrix. There's little things that I'll talk about, but ultimately I'm always saying here are a few ways I think you could tackle that. Which one feels like it's going to work for you? Because I know from my clients, I have some where we come up with a big long laundry list of things you're going to do. And by the next time I talk to them, they're all done. Because they're doers, they sit down and they just get stuff done. I personally would love a bit of that in my life, in my body, to be able to just sit down and do all the things simply because I said I would. But I know that for me, I need more hard and real deadlines. I need really to feel like someone else is on the other end, caring that this thing is going to happen, for me to get it done in a timely fashion. So the motivation between me and that other person to get stuff done, the same tactics won't work. And so we're always looking for the thing that's actually going to work. And so I'm constantly shifting things. If you don't think that's going to work, what do we think we can change to make sure it'll work? For the way you think, the way you feel, the way you're motivated. And that means there's never the one way, there's never the one tool. I'm always tweaking and working with the person I'm talking to.

Erin Patchell:

Awesome. I love that. I'm the same. It's like design thinking. It's like you use all of the tools, right, to help identify issues and solve problems. And I love that. So you have a book coming up soon. I know that you're busy editing your book and when's the expected release date for that?

Lara Wellman:

So I'm hoping by October it'll be out. We're very close to being able to launch and yes, it's very exciting.

Erin Patchell:

That's amazing. And it's called you're Not Lazy, you're Not Lazy, you're Not Lazy by Lara. Wellman, everybody.

Lara Wellman:

Yeah. And it's all about the fact that I thought I was a lazy person for a long time because I wasn't into the hustle culture and how a lot of other people have those same kinds of things where they're really hard on themselves. And with some mindset shifts, you can start to just be a bit more okay with who you are so that you can ease into enjoying life a bit more.

Erin Patchell:

I know we don't like to generalize, but do you feel like more women fall into that category than men?

Lara Wellman:

Yeah, I think so. I think we've been socialized to think so and to be harder on ourselves and to be a little less confident about it. So we are we're really hard on ourselves and that's one of the reasons we think we don't measure up to what the expectations are of us. So therefore we must be lazy or therefore we're not as good as other people. And then the weight of feeling bad. For me, shame is the word I talk about a lot. Some people I know there's guilt, there's other things, but for me, shame was my biggest one, where I felt like I wasn't measuring up. And that emotional heaviness of feeling that way is the most exhausting thing of all. And when you can start to let some of that go without just letting go of some of the shame of not being good enough, or like I said, other people have different words for it, just that shift alone starts to make things feel a bit easier. Yeah.

Erin Patchell:

Just as you were talking and this is probably obvious to a lot of people, but I was just thinking about ADHD and how women tend to be diagnosed later than men a lot of the time. Because we're so good at masking the instincts and behaviors that would normally be expressed because of that shame, I think in a lot of ways, because we're constantly we're putting so much energy into striving for normalcy or even just like a perception of normalcy from other people. And I don't think I processed it that way before. So thanks for the insight.

Lara Wellman:

You're welcome.

Erin Patchell:

Yeah. Do you think the Laziness let's not call it Laziness, but it's like see, now I'm changing. See, as you've said, that I'm changing my entire thinking around Laziness. I never really felt like I was lazy, but I still experienced definitely the other side of it, which is the shame and trying to motivate myself to overcome. But I don't think I ever named it Laziness, but that's probably what I was feeling. So there's like a motivational it's interesting because there is a motivational factor in that guilt and shame and I wonder I'm an extrovert. It's so hard for me to be internally motivated when you were just saying that you needed external motivation to get things done. That resonated so hard with me, and.

Lara Wellman:

Yet I consider myself an introvert. So it's not right. It's not just that. It's just that for me, I find and part of it can be the ADHD, but I think it's so many other people. There's just so many things going on, there's so many distractions. Without a deadline, I don't feel like anything's urgent yet. And so that all plays into why real deadlines make a difference. And I think with Laziness there's the flip side and there's a book called Laziness Does Not Exist, which is also another book that I recommend. But that book is more about the fear of being seen as lazy versus owning that they're lazy. Right? Like, it's the idea that you're so afraid that you're going to think you're lazy, other people are going to think you're lazy, that you're never going to be lazy. And so that brings up that need to always hustle. And that's why I'm like, resting isn't lazy. You're not being lazy. Lazy has a really negative connotation, but people use it even in jest. But they're still trying to justify things that they feel like maybe they shouldn't have taken that whole weekend off. I was just taking a lazy weekend versus I just spent the weekend resting. We really have associated the need to go go in order to have value in our society. And when we can start to detach ourselves from that and just let ourselves rest, like we're healthier, happier people.

Erin Patchell:

If someone came to you and said, I feel like I have to hustle or I have this internalized perception of myself as lazy, how would you help them flip the script for themselves?

Lara Wellman:

I'm looking for where the struggle is actually happening. Where are you getting stuck? Are you wishing that you could rest more but think that you don't deserve it? Are you wishing you could rest more, but not until you've achieved some goal? And that goal, is it actually meaningful for you? Or is it just one you think you're supposed to have? There's so many different factors that play into where people get into this sort of spinning hustle mentality. And the other question is, are you about to burn out? How tired are you? Are you trying to do all of this just for the sake of doing it when you're not healthy or happy anymore? And is that what you want? Is that actually what you want? Or are you on this path and you haven't stopped to ask yourself if you even know where you're going or why anymore?

Erin Patchell:

So you have a thriving online community where you support business owners, and you have numerous different initiatives, obviously helping business owners and your own business. If this conversation has resonated with people, and I expect it will, how can they get a hold of you and become part of this?

Lara Wellman:

Yeah, so if they're interested in the book and the idea of talking about not being lazy, you're Notlazy CA will take you to a little bit more information about the book. And I have a Facebook community where people are encouraging each other to just be okay with resting. If you're a business owner and you're looking for a little bit more information about how to find this thing that works for you. Thebiz studio is the website for my business, and I'm happy to have conversations with people who are looking to try to find the thing that's going to work for them. That's amazing.

Erin Patchell:

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us today, Laura.

Lara Wellman:

Thank you for having me.

Erin Patchell:

Laura. Would you like to leave our listeners with any kind of inspirational message?

Lara Wellman:

I want to remind people that they can just ask themselves, what if it all works out? What if there isn't something that needs to change inherently or some big thing that needs to happen for things to get better? But you can just be more you and enjoy life, and that's all there is to it?

Erin Patchell:

Awesome. Thanks so much again.

Lara Wellman:

Thank you.

Erin Patchell:

That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed the 25th episode of Weirdos in the Workplace with our guest, the brilliant Lara Wellman. Remember the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. So stay weird, stay wonderful, and don't stay out of trouble.

Greetings, beautiful humans! I'm your host Erin Patchell, and this is Weirdos in the Workplace where we discuss how transparency, authenticity, passion and purpose create more visionary organizations. And welcome to today's episode on creating high performing teams. Whether your team is virtual, flexible or totally on site, the world of work is more chaotic than ever. One thing that can give you some stability is building a strong and reliable team that gets shit done.

If you're a business owner or leader, it's probably something you think about a lot. So, let's talk about it today. Stay tuned.

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Once upon a time, in a quaint little village, there existed a small farm known as Harmony Acres. The farm had a varied assortment of animals, each unique in their own right: a wise old owl named Olivia, a strong bull named Brutus, a fast rabbit named Remy, and a resourceful beaver named Benny. Harmony Acres was in a dire situation, as their land had become barren and crops no longer flourished. The village council had given them one season to turn things around or else the farm would be shut down.

One evening, Olivia called a meeting. "Friends, we've got to solve the problem of our barren land and dying crops. The survival of Harmony Acres depends on it."

Brutus, the bull, was the first to speak. "Let's plow the entire field with all our strength! Rip it apart and start afresh!"

Remy, the rabbit, was skeptical. "That sounds like a lot of work and it could make things worse. Maybe we can find seeds that grow faster, so we can harvest sooner."

Benny, the beaver, shook his head. "Neither will work if we don't understand why the soil is barren in the first place. We need to test the water and soil to find out what's wrong."

Olivia, synthesizing everyone's input, said, "All excellent ideas, but we have to act in a coordinated manner."

First, they took Benny's suggestion. They tested the soil and water, discovering that the water source was polluted. Benny built a filtration system to clean the water. The owl, being wise and resourceful, helped by finding materials that would be needed for the filter.

Next, they took Brutus' idea and plowed the field but with care and precision, avoiding any unnecessary damage. Brutus used his strength, guided by the wisdom of Olivia, who oversaw the process, ensuring that it was carried out with precision.

Finally, they planted seeds that Remy had found—seeds that were not only quick to grow but also compatible with their soil type. Remy used his speed to disperse the seeds evenly across the field.

As they worked through each stage, conflicts and disagreements inevitably arose. Brutus was impatient and wanted to see results quickly, while Benny insisted on double-checking everything. Remy was anxious and always on the move, while Olivia was slow and methodical.

But as they ran into challenges—broken equipment, a shortage of materials, disagreements on methods—they started seeing these not as obstacles but as opportunities to learn from each other's unique strengths and perspectives. Olivia summarized their learnings and helped them remember the bigger picture. Benny was resourceful in fixing broken equipment. Brutus provided the strength to move heavy materials. And Remy kept everyone's spirits up, always hopeful and optimistic.

The season passed, and the day of judgment arrived. The village council visited Harmony Acres, only to find lush, blooming crops and a rejuvenated farm.

"It's a miracle," declared the village chief. "How did you all accomplish this?"

Olivia, standing tall, looked at her diverse team of friends and said, "The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team."

From that day on, the animals of Harmony Acres never looked at challenges the same way. They saw them as stepping stones on the path to success, as integral parts of their journey in mastering the art of collaboration. And Harmony Acres, nourished by the collective skills and spirit of its diverse residents, flourished like never before.

And so, they all lived productively ever after.

Friedrich Nietzsche in his Twilight of the Idols said, "What does not kill me makes me stronger."

It's while donning this mental armour that I think about complementary teams.

Nietzsche's words, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" describes the transformative power of obstacles. There are few opportunities better to learn than building a truly diverse team of individuals created from different cultural contexts, personalities, energy levels, skills and capacities.

Forming a team of individuals who have exactly the same goals, priorities, philosophies, values and balance of skills is nearly a fantasy. People are rarely that unified and it takes time for the rough edges to smooth out and synergy to take place. A team always needs to have some creative conflict to reach their own personal potential and to innovate together. If a team has settled into a friction-free rhythm, it might be time to shake things up a little bit.

The psychology behind personal growth when faced with challenges is not just a motivational poster. When confronted with obstacles, we can respond in various ways, and not all of them are constructive. Viewing something as a threat versus a challenge, changes everything. The words you tell yourself are important. The relatively simple act of reframing our language can move something from an insurmountable issue to one that can be overcome, learned from, or even leveraged for advantage.

The initial perception of an obstacle, whether as a threat or a challenge, sets the tone for how we engage with it—both mentally and behaviorally. If we perceive an obstacle as a threat, our bodies go into a fight-or-flight mode. Our stress hormones spike, our thinking narrows, and we're more likely to make impulsive decisions, all of which can be counterproductive in the modern landscape of complex problems.

On the other hand, viewing an obstacle as a challenge shifts the narrative. When we interpret something as a challenge, it elicits a different physiological and psychological response. We're more focused, more engaged, and more open to creative problem-solving. We approach it with the intention of mastering it, of learning from it, and possibly even benefiting from it. The stress we feel becomes a positive stress known as "eustress", which is well researched as motivating and performance-enhancing.

The language we use is a powerful tool in this reframing process. Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is considered a pseudoscience, but if you consider the impact of Tony Robbins on the world - or maybe this is something you've experienced yourself personally - words absolutely have power and the way we think affects our physiology and our behaviour. The words you choose to describe your experience will affect how you react to it. If I can't see an immediate solution and I say "this is impossible", I would have a very different outcome than if I took a deep breath and said "this is hard but we'll figure it out."

It's with the latter mindset that we want to enter the team space. "This is hard, but we'll figure it out."

What if we start by reframing our idea of what a team can be? What if a team is not just a functional unit, but a dynamic ecosystem of diverse skills, backgrounds, and personalities? What if the challenges that naturally arise within teams are not threats to productivity, but opportunities for individual and collective growth?

When we shift our perspective in this manner, we start seeing the "obstacles" in team dynamics—conflicts, differences in working styles, cultural contexts, gaps in skill sets—not as problems to be smoothed over as quickly as possible, but as vital touchpoints for learning, adaptation, and innovation. We create an environment where challenges are welcomed, not feared; a culture that understands that the road to high performance is paved with many small, but enriching, challenges.

This isn't science fiction. I've been lucky to be a part of complementary teams that had a collective growth mindset, comradery and grit, and boy were we able to move mountains. I've experienced first hand how the group can be greater than the sum of its parts.

I do think building a team is more art than science. It's highly intuitive and a process of personal development and team development. The real essence of a team lies in synergy, in the alchemy that occurs when diverse skill sets and personalities come together with a group mission that is more important than individual glory.

People ask me if I use a particular model, and I don't. Personally, I believe that most team development models have value. I prescribe to a design thinking philosophy, and this is often characterized by the desire to gather useful tools. Design thinking uses a framework of five steps - empathize, define, ideate, prototype and test - and the more tools you have to support each of these areas, the more you can tailor every project for the best possible outcome.

Empathy: Design thinking starts with understanding the user, and in the context of team-building, the "users" are your team members. Learning what drives them, what their challenges are, and how they prefer to work can create a team that is more sensitive to each other's needs and strengths so they can perform at their highest level..

Defining the Problem: Just as in design thinking where you define the problem you're solving for, you can define the team's objectives clearly. What is the purpose of the team? What are we trying to achieve? This sets a direction that everyone can align with, understand and contextualize..

Ideation: In design thinking, you generate as many ideas as possible in the ideation stage. Similarly, for team building, encouraging open brainstorming can not only solve problems but also make everyone feel invested in the team's mission and objectives.

Prototyping: Before implementing a full-scale solution, design thinking advocates for prototyping to test assumptions. In a team, this could mean testing out different team structures, communication tools, or workflow processes on a small scale before rolling them out to the entire team.

Feedback Loops: Design thinking is iterative, relying heavily on user feedback to refine the design. Teams can adopt this approach by regularly soliciting feedback about team dynamics, workloads, and processes to make incremental improvements.

Design thinking inherently values multidisciplinary teams and collective decision-making. These principles can be translated to team-building by valuing each member's unique skills and perspectives, aiming for a culture of collaboration rather than hierarchy.

In design thinking, success metrics are often based on user satisfaction. Similarly, team performance metrics could be centered around team satisfaction, fulfillment, and well-being, not just output.

Flexibility and Adaptability: One of the main tenets of design thinking is the willingness to pivot when something isn't working. That can be a valuable lesson for teams who must often adapt quickly to new information or circumstances.

To build your contextual understanding of team development, there are some useful models - Tuckman's phases of forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning, help us understand that conflict and dissonance are normal stages you'll go through while assembling a team.

There are no perfect models or frameworks because life is more messy and beautiful than that. But each of them helps us understand something in order to give us some clarity and sense of normalcy within that messiness. There are so many models - the Katzenbach and Smith Model, the LaFasto and Larson Model, the T7 Model of Team Effectiveness, the Hackman Model, the Lencioni Model.

These additional models offer different lenses through which to examine team psychology, helping us to understand the many facets of team dynamics, roles, and effectiveness.

Albert Einstein once said, "We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality." He also said, ""The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." These quotes describe well the importance of looking beyond technical skills when building a team. While intelligence alone can solve complex problems, it is that harmony of personality styles that help us decide what we should do and why we should do it - together. And at least for while longer yet, I think, this is something that machines can't do. Only humans are capable of the empathy and grit needed to navigate complex team dynamics.

The american entrepreneur and politician Malcolm Forbes, whose father founded Forbes Magazine, put it perfectly: "Diversity: the art of thinking independently together." Indeed, diversity isn't just about ethnic backgrounds, genders, or ages; it also applies to the skill sets within your team. In the ever-changing landscape of the business world, it's critical to have a variety of skill sets that can adapt and respond to various challenges. This doesn't mean that everyone on your team needs to be a polymath, but rather that the collective skills of the team should form a complete, well-rounded unit.

Have you heard of the "T-shaped" skill model? In this model, the vertical bar of the 'T' represents the depth of skills and expertise in a single field, while the horizontal bar represents the breadth of soft skills and the ability to collaborate across disciplines. A T-shaped individual is both a specialist and a generalist. They have a deep understanding of a particular area but also have the skills necessary to collaborate with experts from other fields.

When assembling a team, think of creating a "T-shaped skills matrix" where you plot the team's skills in both dimensions—depth and breadth. This will enable you to visualize gaps and identify what types of new team members you might need to seek.

There are so many do's and don't's when it comes to leading, managing and developing a high performing team but I'll boil them down:

Do - treat them as human adults, capable of independent thought and decision-making.

Don't - micromanage or infantilize them, undermining their autonomy and confidence.

Do - set clear expectations and achievable goals to guide your team's efforts.

Don't - set ambiguous, vague, or unrealistic targets that leave them feeling lost or demotivated.

Do - communicate openly, honestly, and consistently to keep everyone on the same page.

Don't - withhold crucial information or give mixed messages that lead to confusion and mistrust.

Do - recognize and celebrate individual and team achievements to boost morale and motivation.

Don't - focus solely on what went wrong, without acknowledging what went right.

Do - foster a culture of mutual respect, where every voice is heard and valued.

Don't - tolerate bullying, harassment, or discrimination of any kind within your team.

Do - invest in your team's development through training, mentorship, and opportunities for growth.

Don't - neglect their professional needs, leading to stagnation and disengagement.

Do - be flexible and adaptable in your leadership style to meet the needs of your diverse team.

Don't - be rigid or inflexible, unable to adjust your approach to changing circumstances or individual needs.

Do - encourage collaboration and open dialogue, allowing for a free exchange of ideas.

Don't - stifle creativity or shut down conversations that could lead to innovative solutions.

Do - lead by example, embodying the values and work ethic you wish to see in your team.

Don't - say one thing and do another, as inconsistency will erode your credibility.

Do - create opportunities for team bonding and building social capital.

Don't - isolate team members or create an environment where cliques and factions can thrive.

In the words of Mike Rutherford from the band Genesis, "Being in a band is always a compromise. Provided that the balance is good, what you lose in compromise, you gain by collaboration."

I hope this episode has inspired you to get the band together and give this type of teaming a try. Especially if you're interested in creating something from nothing, creating a complementary team might be your best shot.

That's all for today. Until next week, stay weird, stay wonderful and remember, don't stay out of trouble.

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"Going Deeper" book recommendations:

"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink - This book explores what truly motivates us, including in the workplace.

"Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts." by Brené Brown - This book offers leadership wisdom that applies to all kinds of teams.

"Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't" by Jim Collins - Offers an examination of what it takes to make a great company, often focusing on team composition and leadership.

"Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman - Understanding how we think can make us better team members and leaders.

"The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni - A look at what commonly goes wrong in teams and how to avoid it.

"The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander - Focuses on the transformative power of perspective, which you touch on in your podcast.

"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain - For teams to work well, we need to understand and value the introverts among us.

"Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World" by General Stanley McChrystal - Explores how a military unit transformed its structure and culture to adapt to a new era.

"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff - This book uses the characters from Winnie the Pooh to explain the principles of Taoism. It's a gentle way to explore the idea of 'going with the flow' and can be especially useful for leaders needing to manage complex team dynamics.

Erin Patchell [00:00:00]:

Welcome, beautiful humans, to another episode of Weirdos in the Workplace, the show where we are exploring the extraordinary potential of ordinary organizations. I'm your host, Erin Pachel, and today we are chatting with our friend Maxine Budou, an exceptional leadership development coach. She has a private practice called exceptional leader, literally. And also Maxine is an award winning risk manager and compliance professional with over 21 years of corporate professional experience. Welcome to the show, Maxine.

Maxine Budhu [00:00:31]:

Thank you. It's lovely to be here, Erin.

Erin Patchell [00:00:34]:

And what are we talking about today?

Maxine Budhu [00:00:36]:

Today we are talking about empathetic leadership and moving the needle from drab to exceptional.

Erin Patchell [00:00:45]:

Amazing. Stay tuned.

Erin Patchell [00:01:06]:

So, Maxine, my first question for you. As a risk management and compliance professional, over your career, you've developed this real passion about empathy in the workplace, and sometimes we don't always correlate risk management and compliance with empathy. I'm really curious, what has led you to become so passionate about this topic?

Maxine Budhu [00:01:31]:

To understand and take a step back that all corporations are being led by human beings. And I would say that my mind, my eyes, my heart was veiled before life happened when I was 25 years old, about 16 years ago, I got married, I had my first child. A lot of life, right? And so there's a lot of joy and happiness around that, but it's definitely a lot of change for someone who's the youngest child of her family. Siblings, three siblings, the youngest of three children, the only girl who was constantly doted on. I didn't understand what life was about until I got married and had children of my own. And it was when I had my first born, I went out on maternity leave, but I hadn't been with my organization long enough to get, say, multiple months of maternity leave. I believe I only got twelve weeks. And so coming back, returning to work, was very difficult for me. I actually suffered from postpartum depression and not someone to take a lot of medication. I tried to manage it on my own and with spiritual support. I went to church every week, but that didn't even help me. It got to a point where I wasn't going to church. It got to a point where my routine, as I knew it, had shifted. You're a new mom. And my husband was a new dad and didn't really appreciate what it meant to give birth and have postpartum depression. He didn't know about that being a real thing, although the doctors did prep us for that, and we were thinking, we'll be fine. You're young, you're in good shape, I'm here for you. But it wasn't fine for a very long time. I would want to say, like, maybe for a good 18 months after my child was born. And just imagine I had to go into a mental state where I was just trying to get through the week. And it was like as if I was not even seeing or being in myself. When I was going to work, I would just go to work, come home, get through the week Friday, take a shower and not leave my room until Monday morning. And not to even shower was like, Monday morning, take a shower. It was like a routine, it was like a robot, no emotion. My parents stayed with us for some time because of that, to take care of our son, and it was tough. And when I started to come out of it, I was working in the audit field with people who were adults who had multiple children living their lives. And I started to take a look and I'm like, well, you know, what if I'm getting up and coming into work and I have all this going on outside of work, how many other people are dealing with things outside of work? It never occurred to me until I had a life of my own, not being Miss 20 something year old, just living for myself. I was living for other people now.

Erin Patchell [00:04:45]:

Right.

Maxine Budhu [00:04:46]:

I'm like, there are other grown adults here who are doing the same thing. And then the veil was unraveled and I started to see people for who they really were. And compassion grew up in me, and that's where the empathy, the thought of empathy started because it's so important. Everyone's bringing their baggage to work, but they still have to show up because they have to show up, right?

Erin Patchell [00:05:11]:

Absolutely. I think we try to compartmentalize these things, but we really can't because it ends up spilling out of us in some way or another. Do you think that being able to get up and have that shower on Monday morning, did that help support your process in any way, support you to move forward or how did that work for you?

Maxine Budhu [00:05:36]:

At sometimes, yes. I think that it kept me from going deeper into a depression, but at times it was very hard because the expectations at work were increasing. My manager at the time was not great, and so it was like ebbs and flows where at times I would have a good week and then another time, there was no understanding for why I was late, there was no understanding for why I needed to leave early so much. So I had to change. I organized a switch in managers and I was able to work on a different team, but I didn't even want to have to do that because of the shame that was associated with, oh, what's going on there? Why is Maxine working for him instead of him? I stress him instead of him because at that time, not a lot of women in leadership, in internal audit and all of that. And that was back in 2009, 2010. It's changed a little bit for the better now, but all of that, like just having to speak to a man and not having to have him understand, oh, I need to leave early because I got to breastfeed and I just don't want to breastfeed here, I don't want to pump here, I want to go home. I've had enough. Sometimes I had to keep my mouth closed and just suck it up. But I say all that to say that working kept around people perhaps kind of saved me in a way because it kept me from going into a deeper depression. It was a tough time, but I just wish that I would have had more time to be at home. Yeah, probably would have been better.

Erin Patchell [00:07:22]:

I have this kind of… maybe it's an idealistic way of thinking… but I have this sort of vision of organizations. I think that organizations have the potential to become spaces of healing for people like you and me. In the past, I've had similar situations in my past that have been really traumatic. And then I think that having the stability and the routine almost of having to get up out of bed and go to work and something that's like motivating myself outside of myself because I couldn't do that on my own, it helped. But it can be better, it can be done well, it can be done even more well. And so I'm curious what you think about that and how empathy plays a role in that as well.

Maxine Budhu [00:08:13]:

It got better. After I had my second child, I was with the same organization under a different completely. I went into it auditing, joined a completely different team. And you talk about them being a space of healing. That's what it was because they actually approached me about my breastfeeding plan or oh, do you know there's this room now available? There was an initiation and that is why empathy is so meaningful and it's so basic. We all have the capacity for this, being empathetic and compassionate towards each other. It's just that external things that happen to us through our lives harden our hearts and disable us from even wanting to go that route. But they did it. My management team at that time, they approached me and even that kind of softened me up to say, oh wow, okay, they're on my team, they're going to work for me. Back then, if anyone is listening from the audit field, they know you have to count your hours. You actually have to keep track of the amount of time you're spending on each audit that you're assigned to. And they allotted time for me to take time away from my audit and go and pump for my child and all of that. Just that alone helped me and it sustained me and I did not have such a hard time integrating myself back into the workplace that I did the first time.

Erin Patchell [00:09:38]:

I know that you focus on different elements, so you are a leadership development coach. You work with individuals and teams to support different kinds of emotional and empathy transformations and help this evolution. The different ways that you mentioned that you do this, sometimes it's through teaching and coaching about self awareness, blind spots, and triggers. So how do you integrate this? What's your philosophy around the actual development process of people?

Maxine Budhu [00:10:11]:

It's the recognition, and I primarily begin with recognizing that trauma happens in the workplace. But how we deal with that trauma and how aware we are of ourselves helps us to get through it and helps us to thrive beyond it and actually appear. Provide not appear, but provide the reputation that supports us in promoting ourselves and moving forward and elevating ourselves within the organization. So being aware of yourself is primary to being a strong leader, and that support is supported by the foundation of empathy. So what I do, what I try to focus on, is I try to focus on approaching your leadership development style by looking at yourself first and understanding who you are, identifying things that trigger your behaviors, both negative and positive, and really exploiting your blind spots. And sometimes we don't take that time to do that introspective work to understand who we are. What are our blind spots? What's triggering our behavior? Why are we even acting out in this manner? What is it in the workplace that enforces this manner and this behavior? Because once we get past that, you can seriously thrive as a human being. I know I've done it for myself. I literally, through some really meaningful hard work for myself and recognizing who I am and what I enjoy and what triggers my anger, I was able to revamp my reputation. Not that it was in the toilet in the first place, disclaimer it was good. But I was able to elevate myself within the same organization, revamp my reputation in the organization, and thrive and be promoted.

Erin Patchell [00:12:02]:

I sometimes think that the walls that we build around ourselves in order to protect us from harm, actually, it's creating more harm, not just for ourselves, but for the people around us as well. What do you think about that?

Maxine Budhu [00:12:17]:

Yeah, absolutely, Erin, and you don't even realize you're doing it. And it can cause roadblocks for you in your career. It can cause people to not want to be around you as often as you would want them to. It can cause you to miss opportunities for leadership or growth in the organization. It is so imperative to just be aware of your thoughts and the types of things that you're thinking about throughout the workday, what you're saying about others around you. Those are all little building blocks that build up, like those blind spots that cause you not to soar in an organization, sometimes you're looking around and saying, well, they're being discriminatory towards me. And I'm not doubting that that happens in a workplace, but at the same time, I think it behooves us all to just look at ourselves, to see what we can do better to knock down those blind spots and triggers that are enabling them to be discriminatory towards you, if that makes any sense. You have to take some responsibility for how you show up. That's the type of leadership development, and that's where I'm coming from. That's where my teaching is based on. We're going to focus on you because you can control you. You can't control them and just believe that and know for a fact that even if they intend to be discriminatory towards you, it won't even have an impact on your growth or your promotion because of who you are as a person.

Erin Patchell [00:13:51]:

Yeah, I'm totally all for radical accountability, just like the idea that it is. Whatever the situation, I have some control over it, whether I think I do or not. And I'm going to take accountability for the parts that I do have control over. And I think we definitely have way more control over things than we think we do. And we're not powerless at all.

Maxine Budhu [00:14:15]:

Amen.

Erin Patchell [00:14:16]:

Yeah.

Maxine Budhu [00:14:17]:

Amen.

Erin Patchell [00:14:19]:

Yeah. I'm curious, do you work with mostly aspiring executives? Executives, I believe. Is that correct?

Maxine Budhu [00:14:28]:

Well, I would like to say that not so much executives, but those who are new to corporate or have spent at least four to five years in corporate and really are looking for just wanting to revamp their career, wanting to understand more of what's been happening. Perhaps they've experienced some workplace traumas and they want to grow past these traumas and they want to reevaluate themselves and become better so they could show up better and be promoted in their workplace. Those are the individuals I tend to work with.

Erin Patchell [00:15:04]:

So for your clients, how does your focus on empathy help them make smarter decisions, either personal decisions or decisions in the workplace?

Maxine Budhu [00:15:17]:

Because they're coming from a place of mindfulness and understanding who they are first, having that empathy for themselves. They're making space for them to have empathy on others towards others. Right. And so it's in everything that they do. I teach about how to reach out to someone via email. What do you consider when you're scheduling time to meet with someone? If someone's calendar looks completely booked and they have one little half hour available, you do not book that time. You reach out to them first and ask them. These are the little subtle things that cause you to stand out, that keep you memorable in people's minds when you're doing a presentation. I mean, even the most profound leaders consider their audience first. That's an act of empathy that current leaders are trying to denounce because we don't have time for that. But you're doing it. You're considering your audience first. And so I try to bring that to the forefront in how they make their decisions, how they communicate with others, the type of emails they send. Communication is so important, and so I just try to hone in that it influences everything that you do every decision that you make, you must consider your stakeholders and how the consequences that they would have to embrace as a result of your decision. Think of that first. And even if the consequences are bad, I inform them that if you express that you understand the consequences and the impact that your decisions make, that alone gets people on board. The acknowledgment of the impact of your decisions with your stakeholders, that alone people appreciate that being recognized. And so that's how I communicate to my clients that empathy, having empathy for others as you make your decisions as leaders is very important.

Erin Patchell [00:17:16]:

Oh my gosh. Yeah, absolutely. I love that you're not just talking about empathy as like a philosophical concept, but actually the practice of empathy, like the actual actions of empathy in the workplace or within a relationship. That's something that's a little different, I think.

Maxine Budhu [00:17:38]:

Yeah. Because I feel like we get so caught up in the work and the goals and the vision that we forget that you're working with people, you're serving people. I think you've said it best in a recent post on LinkedIn. You said, let's start integrating our work in life. It's not about balance, but you're really integrating your work into your life and your life into your work. And I hear a lot of companies say, show up as your authentic self. Well, let's walk the talk, right? And let's put stuff into practice, not just talk about it.

Erin Patchell [00:18:14]:

Heck yes. It's got to come from the top. We have to demonstrate leadership, empathetic leadership principles in the workplace and practices in the workplace and lead by example. Absolutely. Yeah. So leaders out there, are you walking the talk? Ask yourself that question.

Maxine Budhu [00:18:36]:

There is room for you to walk the talk. It's in your everyday. I mean, we're hardwired to be kind and to feel how our kindness impacts each other and we enjoy that at our very core, there is science to prove that we are happy when we make other people happy. And no, you're not trying to design this utopia of a place in your work, but at the same time, it's just about consideration. Not everything is going you're not going to be able to please your team all the time, but if they know that you're coming from a place of consideration and empathy, they'll understand.

Erin Patchell [00:19:17]:

And maybe some real talk, like if you don't feel like you have the energy to go out of your way for somebody else, you might be just doing a little bit too much and maybe think about prioritizing, right? A little bit, maybe invoke some self.

Maxine Budhu [00:19:34]:

Empathy and settle down. We talk about the difference between management and leadership and balancing the two. You have to know how to balance the two because sometimes when you're in a leadership position and you get too much in the weeds of management and execution work, you can burn yourself out because then you have to turn back and strategize and be visionary and have the energy to do that. And you don't have any more energy because you've been in the weeds with the managers doing the work. So you have to be able to balance the two. And I support my clients in that type of work. I just remember being new to corporate and always looking around thinking, who can I talk to about this? I just had a weird exchange with one of my lead auditors and he said something that really made me feel bad. Who can I talk to about this? Who can I talk to and ask, well, is this okay to say? Is this okay to approach another manager on? Can I raise this at my next team meeting? I had no one really. I didn't have a mentor. And I just find meaning and so much joy in work, in coming alongside and mentoring in a mentoring capacity. My clients, I think it's my life work to do that, to just be that person that I was looking for when I was in my early twenty s and I was new in corporate America. It was tough.

Erin Patchell [00:21:04]:

One more question and then almost done, I promise. Is empathy optional?

Maxine Budhu [00:21:14]:

No, it is no longer an option. Because while people and organizations are not speaking about empathy per se, all the time, they are speaking about emotional intelligence. And just take a look at the past five years and what we've had to experience, whether it was in person or on the television through newscasts. There is no room to be unempathetic in the workplace because we are coming to work with a lot, with the consideration of a lot, with looking at what's going on in the US. And huh, that's all racial based. I wonder if Mark, who sits right a cubicle over from me, feels the same start. Things that we never had to consider before, we have to consider now about the people, the very people we're rubbing shoulders with. Seeing schools being shot up in and seeing children who look like your children suffer and have to run out in a drill because there's a gunman loose in their school. There's a lot of stuff to consider right now in the world. And the emotional intelligence that you need to support your team is paramount to getting them to move forward. I mean, sometimes it's just not an option anymore to not consider people as people. People go home, people read, people see things on TV, people have their own experiences of things going on. I'm not saying it's all a sad story, but it's life, right? Sometimes life happens and we have to recognize that.

Erin Patchell [00:22:57]:

Yeah, I completely agree. Oh my gosh, it has been so much fun having you on the podcast. Just leave the listeners with a little bit more information about how they can get in touch with you if they're interested in this type of support. With developing empathetic leadership how do they go about that?

Maxine Budhu [00:23:19]:

I am currently on LinkedIn exclusively. Look me up. Maxine voodoo. M-A-X-I-N-E-B as in boy, u D, as in David. H u. I'm on there. And all my information and ways to contact me through email or otherwise, that's on there as well. Through my link in bio. Please reach out to me. Even with a question, I'm just always so open to hearing from people and supporting them, meeting them where they are.

Erin Patchell [00:23:47]:

Amazing. Thank you so much for coming.

Maxine Budhu [00:23:50]:

Thank you, Erin, so much for having me. I loved talking with you, and I.

Erin Patchell [00:23:54]:

Have so many more questions for you. I feel like we could talk for hours.

Maxine Budhu [00:23:57]:

I'd love to come back.

Erin Patchell [00:23:59]:

Maybe you could come back in a couple of months. Awesome.

Maxine Budhu [00:24:02]:

Let's do it.

Erin Patchell [00:24:02]:

Let's do it. Okay.

Maxine Budhu:

Take care.

Erin Patchell:

You too.

Erin Patchell:

That's all for today.

In the words of the great Dolly Parton, "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours." Thanks for tuning in. Stay weird, stay wonderful, and as always, don't stay out of trouble.

Hello beautiful humans and welcome to Weirdos in the Workplace! I'm your host, Erin Patchell, and my quest is to turn business philosophy into business fact. Today we're delving into a unique aspect of business culture: storytelling and organizational traditions. If you've ever wondered why some companies thrive culturally while others struggle, crafting the myths and legends surrounding your business may be at the heart.

Stay tuned.

[Opening Music]

In the words of the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, "In order not to overlook crucial things, I am accustomed to exaggerate." Isn't that what storytelling is all about? Exaggeration, nuance, and a dance of words to craft a tale that lasts generations, sometimes even centuries.

Historian Yuval Noah Harari emphasizes that "Humans think in stories rather than in facts, numbers, or equations, and the simpler the story, the better." This is as true in a boardroom as it is in a prehistoric campfire setting.

But can storytelling actually impact your bottom line? The answer is a resounding yes, and there's ample evidence to back it up. A 2019 study from Stanford University showed that stories are up to 22 times more memorable than facts alone. Now, apply this to a business context. A forgettable brand is a failing brand. If you can't tell a memorable story, how can you expect your customers to remember you when they're looking for a product or service you offer?

Remember, a company without a story is like a book with blank pages. The stories you tell, whether they're about how the company was founded, or how you overcame immense challenges, are your organizational "artifacts." These artifacts are not mere curiosities; they are the very DNA of your company. They influence how your employees see their roles, how the market perceives your value, and ultimately how resilient your company is when faced with challenges.

If you grew up with a favourite book series or author, then you know this feeling well.

I'm you're younger than me, a geriatric millennial, your series might have been Harry Potter. One of my generation's most popular series - my "Harry Potter" - was "The Wheel of Time". I first discovered the series as a 12-year-old and was like stumbling on a secret door in a familiar room, one that opened to an intricate world completely unlike my own yet eerily resonant with it.

The stories were a playground for my imagination, a training ground for empathy, and a canvas on which to project my rudimentary understanding of courage, friendship, and destiny. Characters like Rand, Mat, Perrin, Nynaeve and Egwene were not just names on a page; they became friends, mentors, and sometimes reflections of myself. Every twist of their journey was a twist in my gut, each triumph a shared victory, each setback a collective burden. As I navigated a complicated adolescence, these stories grounded me and taught me resilience, courage and the complexities of leadership and relationships.

Fast forward to seventeen years later at 29, standing in a bookstore with "A Memory of Light," the final tome, in my hands. It felt like holding an artifact, a relic of a lifelong journey both literary and personal. Reading the final words was a cathartic experience, offering a form of closure that was both bitter and sweet. I had grown alongside these characters; their trials and tribulations had been a consistent backdrop to my own. As they found their destinies within the Pattern, it felt like a nudge urging me to continue seeking my own path with the same courage, integrity, and resilience that had inspired me all those years ago. The Wheel of Time had come full circle, but what it taught me influenced and continues to influence the sharp edges of my life and helped make it feel safe for me to grow as a person.

Regardless of whether the story is truth or fiction, they are how cultures are formed, how traditions are passed down, and how values are instilled. In a rapidly evolving business landscape, these stories serve as your North Star. They guide decision-making, set the tone for your company culture, and can even influence your business strategy. A life without story is a barren wasteland. An organization without a story is an undeveloped wilderness, and a place to get lost.

Storytelling impacts numerous areas of your business, particularly your brand and marketing, culture and employee engagement, sales and customer relations, leadership and decision making, and customer loyalty as well. According to a study by Capgemini, 82% of consumers with high emotional engagement would always buy the brand they are emotionally engaged with, compared to only 38% of those who have a low emotional engagement. And a report from the Harvard Business Review notes that emotionally connected customers are about 52% more valuable than those who are just highly satisfied with a brand.

Why? Because a compelling story can evoke emotions, and emotional engagement is what turns a one-time buyer into a lifetime customer.

In the end, if you're not leveraging the innate human love for storytelling, you're leaving a powerful tool on the table. It's time to take control of your narrative and, in doing so, take control of your business's destiny.

Starting with your origin story, craft the tales and mythology of your organization around important milestones through the year; these might be internal milestones or external milestones such as cultural celebrations. The most important thing is consistency. This way, we're not just building a brand; we're building a legacy.

Storytelling isn't just fluff; it's a strategic business tool with measurable benefits. It's the thread that stitches together the fabric of your culture, the beating heart of your company.

Stories become artifacts—tangible cultural elements that are proof of your company's values, ideals, and expectations. They serve as templates for behavior and decision-making. Let's not forget, actions speak louder than words, but actions backed by meaningful stories echo throughout the organization. These stories become case studies, cautionary tales, or aspirational examples. They are told orally, through storytelling out loud to each other, and through words on paper to be used strategically, such as during onboarding a new employee.

Celebrations are another form of storytelling. They mark milestones, encapsulate values, and yes, become stories themselves. Celebrating achievements, even small wins, creates a culture of appreciation and aspiration. As the American philosopher and psychologist William James noted, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

Your team will remember the celebrations—how you made them feel seen, heard, and appreciated. These memories become another layer of your organizational story. A win for one becomes a win for all, a chapter in the collective narrative that says, "We value hard work, and we celebrate it."

Establishing communication milestones or rhythms in your organization is like setting the drumbeat to which your business dances. Regular team meetings, quarterly reviews, or even daily stand-ups are all communication milestones that keep everyone in sync.

These rhythms become the lifeblood of your culture. They set expectations and establish norms. American theoretical physicist Richard Feynman once said, "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool." If you do not set clear communication milestones, you're fooling yourself into believing that your culture is self-sustaining. It's not; it requires effort, intention, and regular check-ins.

Speaking of stories and traditions, let's travel back to the 5th century BC. Themistocles, an Athenian politician, was instrumental in the development of the Athenian navy, which ultimately defeated the Persians at the Battle of Salamis. Themistocles knew that winning a battle wasn't just about having the most substantial fleet; it was about fostering a culture of pride, strength, and unity among Athenians.

He emphasized the storytelling of their ancestors, their victories, and their unique Athenian identity. He understood that traditions and stories provide a 'why' for the 'what'—giving Athenians a sense of purpose and a reason to fight.

Now, you may not be preparing for battle, but the business world is competitive. A strong culture is your armor, and a compelling story is both a weapon and a shield. Themistocles knew the importance of narrative and tradition; it's time we put the same emphasis on these elements in our business culture.

Traditions and stories aren't just fluff; they create a bond of empathy. When you, as a leader, face the pressures that demand decisions against your cultural "playbook," your team will understand. They'll empathize because they know the stories, they've lived the traditions, and they understand that survival must sometimes take precedence over everything else. Talk about times when you've had to make difficult decisions and how you approached the decision. We human beings are most comfortable when we're able to predict the decisions that someone is going to make, so let your team in on your thinking processes and build memorable stories around it.

As Joan Didion said, "We tell ourselves stories in order to live." And guess what? Your organization is a living, breathing entity too, and it also needs stories to thrive.

As a leader, you have an extra responsibility to not only uphold the culture but to embody it. And here's the trick; sometimes you'll have to make decisions that seem contradictory to your organizational culture. Leadership pressures are complex, and sometimes you find yourself between a rock and a hard place. A strong culture with a strong mythology embedded in values is

This marks the end of our episode today. Thank you for tuning in. Remember, as Maya Angelou aptly said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Your words are important. Use them to their best advantage.

Muriel Rukeyser said "The universe is made of stories, not of atoms."

Let's aim to leave an indelible impression through our stories, our celebrations, and our rhythms of communication. Thanks for tuning in, and remember: be kind to yourselves, especially in leadership. Being weird is wonderful, but being empathetic is essential.

Stay weird, stay wonderful, and as always, don't stay out of trouble.

Good day friends. Welcome back to another episode of Weirdos in the Workplace!

This one is for business owners, but I think the concepts are totally transferrable for everyone right now, so feel free to stick around and we'll learn together.

Have you ever felt like you're constantly fighting fires in your business, trying to hold everything together by sheer force of will? You're far from alone. Stay tuned.

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After my last couple of episodes, I had some questions from listeners on specifically how to find time to do the planning. One person shared their story with me that they felt they had a successful business despite feeling like they were doing everything wrong, but they weren't even sure about that because they were so scared to look "under the hood" and figure out if their assumptions were true. Juggling all of the balls was wearing on them, and they were afraid if they dropped something, that would be it.

So, what do I mean by 'survival mode'? I feel like some of us have been in survival mode for so long that we don't know any other way to live.

Is the stress of managing your business catching up with you? Are you finding tasks that used to be easy getting harder?

Let's dive into understanding 'survival mode'. On the surface, it may sound like a dire financial situation or an immediate crisis. But in truth, survival mode can manifest in many ways, some obvious and others more subtle and insidious. If you, as the CEO or Founder, find yourself continually in this state of high alert and stress, or worse, distracted and inattentive, there's a strong probability that your business is feeling those effects as well.

Before we go any further, I'm going to tell you that if you are experiencing any of these issues right now, this might be a trigger for you and I need to tell you first that 1) every person and every business at some point have experienced these. You're not alone, this is normal, and there are solutions to these problems even if it feels impossible.

Let's break down some of the more obvious and less obvious indicators, and then afterward we'll talk about some of the solutions:

Some obvious indicators include:

• Financial Struggles: Overdue bills, difficulty in making payroll, getting creative with paying the bills, and possibly even declining revenue. Financial instability is often the most direct sign of a company in survival mode.

• High Employee Turnover: When employees leave frequently, it's a red flag. It not only shows dissatisfaction but also places additional stress on remaining team members.

• Consistent Crises: If every day brings a new fire to put out, that's a telltale sign. Crisis management becomes the norm rather than strategic planning.

• Loss of Major Clients: This can severely impact your revenue stream and indicate deeper service or product issues.

Some of the more subtle or leading indicators are:

• You don't know your numbers: you're not reviewing your financial statements regularly, you're struggling to open your mail because you're afraid to know the truth, and you're working or hustling really hard to distract yourself from reality.

• You're Always Tired: As a leader, if you're perpetually exhausted and overworked, it indicates an imbalance in workload, delegation, or resource allocation.

• Decline in Innovation: When all energy is focused on urgent tasks, there's little to no room left for innovation or forward thinking.

• Stalled Decision-Making: A general hesitancy to make decisions or constantly second-guessing can be a sign. Fear of making a mistake can paralyze an organization.

• Reduced Employee Engagement: Employees seem disinterested, not participating in team events or discussions, and there's a general lack of enthusiasm.

• Customer Complaints: An uptick in customer grievances or reduced customer satisfaction levels can indicate issues in product quality or service.

• Isolation: if you find yourself feeling isolated, not sharing your concerns, avoiding mentorship or advice - especially avoiding any constructive advice - it could be a sign you're in survival mode.

These signs are overwhelming and that we experience them doesn't make us weak - it makes us human. Before even fully embracing or acknowledging the harsh truth, I think it's important to understand "why" we become so good at compartmentalizing or sublimating the truth. Understanding why is what gives us the grace and empathy for ourselves so that we can start making positive change happen.

The harsh truth is that it's almost impossible to spin out of this by yourself. You might be lucky enough to have a great team around that can help, but you'll need to be totally transparent about it. Or, you can reach out to someone like myself, who works with business owners directly to build more resilient businesses, but help like ours can be an investment.

If my money was totally tied up and I had nothing to invest, this is what I would do:

First, I would audit my schedule and remove anything from my calendar that wasn't directly supporting or driving revenue. I would similarly audit my expenses and remove anything that isn't directly supporting critical business operations. I would scale back customer service to the critical operations that my customers absolutely needed. No more " nice to have value added services" until I've evaluated whether it really makes a difference for my customers. I would join a community of business owners ideally in person, but it can be done virtually as well, and start by asking for advice there first. I would read or listen to whatever books I could get my hands on about business finances and follow the guidance. Remember, if you don't have time to read - listen to audiobooks while you're driving or doing chores. I haven't actually read a paper non fiction book in years.

However you do it, you need a second set of eyes to help you find the root causes of your stress because it's probably starting from something that you might be totally unaware of.

Remember though, that this is important. A few episodes ago, we chatted about how the founder, owner or senior leaders are the heart and soul of a business, and that means that your well-being and mindset have a strong ripple effect throughout your organization. You must - must - find the time to learn what you need to learn. You must know your numbers and look at your financials, and get organized, ideally weekly but at an absolute minimum on a monthly basis.

So, survival mode isn't just about finances. It's often a complex combination of unknowns, market changes, blind spots, miscommunications, personal conflicts, operational inefficiencies. It's about the entanglement of each of these challenges, and more, like you're caught in the middle of a tornado filled with a million sheets of paper and the tiny cuts bring you to your knees.

Step 1) Slow Down: It sounds counterintuitive, especially when it feels like everything is on the line. But taking a pause allows you to gain perspective. Breathe, step back, and assess the situation from a bird's-eye view. Sometimes, the best way to speed up is to first slow down.

Step 2) Acknowledge the Situation: Before any change can occur, there needs to be acknowledgment. Recognize that you're in survival mode and understand it's okay to seek help or alter course.

Step 3) Know your Numbers. This is a big one. Bob Parsons, the founder of GoDaddy, said: "Measure everything of significance. Anything that is measured and watched improves." Financial Literacy; you don't need to be a CPA, but you do need a fundamental understanding of balance sheets, income statements, and cash flow statements. You should identify the critical metrics that drive your business whether it's customer acquisition costs, lifetime value, or inventory turnover, know the metrics that matter most. Cash Flow is King: Especially when you're navigating a storm, cash flow becomes vital. Regularly forecast, track, and manage your cash flow. Remember, businesses don't go under because they aren't profitable—they fold because they run out of cash. If that statement is confusing, I would recommend reading Profit First by Mike Michalowiscz. Make data-informed decisions: Use your numbers to guide decisions. Whether it's pivoting a product line or renegotiating a lease, let data drive your actions.

Step 4) Communicate with Transparency: Open a line of dialogue with your team. Share the challenges, listen to their feedback, and make them part of the solution.

Step 5) Realign with Your Vision: Go back to the core of why you started the business. Reconnect with that passion and purpose, and use it as a compass to guide your actions. As Stephen Covey said: "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."

Step 6) Develop an Actionable Plan: Break down challenges into actionable tasks. Set short-term and long-term goals. Ensure that there's a roadmap leading you out of the storm.

Step 7) Learn to Experiment: In the dynamic landscape of business, adaptability is king. Relying solely on old methods and practices can lead to stagnation, making your business vulnerable to unforeseen challenges. To thrive, cultivate a curious mindset, take smart calculated risks, create feedback loops, stay updated and know your numbers. As Jeff Bezos once said, "If you double the number of experiments you do per year, you're going to double your inventiveness."

Step 8) Seek External Guidance: This could be in the form of mentors, industry experts, or even business coaches. An external perspective can shed light on blind spots and offer solutions you might not have considered. Like Sheryl Sandberg said, ""Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy."

Step 9) Foster a Culture of Resilience: Empower your team, emphasizing the importance of adaptability and growth mindset. When they see challenges as opportunities, the entire organization becomes more robust.

Step 10) Monitor and Adapt: Remember, the journey out of survival mode isn't linear. There will be setbacks. It's essential to continuously monitor progress, gather feedback, and be willing to adapt your strategies as necessary.

Step 11) Celebrate Small Wins: Morale can be a game-changer. Celebrate the little milestones, and let your team know that their contributions are valued. These celebrations fuel momentum and create a positive environment conducive to growth and success.

In closing, escaping survival mode isn't just about extricating oneself from immediate crises; it's about setting up a system and culture that prevents those crises from overwhelming the business in the future. This can be very hard to accomplish when you're in the middle of the tornado, and almost impossible to accomplish by yourself, so remember to reach out for help.

That wraps up today's episode. Remember, it's all about being courageous enough to ask for help, vulnerable enough to learn to adapt, wise enough to know what not to do and kind enough to give yourself grace and empathy through the process.

"Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment." – Stephen R. Covey

Thank you for tuning in. Stay weird, stay wonderful and remember, don't stay out of trouble.

Welcome, beautiful humans, to another episode of Weirdos in the Workplace, the show where we explore the extraordinary potential of ordinary organizations. I'm your host, Erin Patchell, and today we're journeying deeper into the realm of strategic planning.

In our previous episode, we covered the foundational aspects of strategic planning. Today, we're exploring how to infuse customer value into every step of the implementation process, building a resilient continuous improvement ecosystem, and ensuring that every functional area in your organization works together in harmony. Stay tuned

Hello beautiful humans. I'm your host, Erin Patchell, and I'm a lot of things but today I will be your strategic planning concierge.

Welcome to my podcast, Weirdos in the Workplace, where we explore how authenticity, transparency, passion and purpose can be harnessed to build extraordinary visionary organizations.

But, if you don't have a vision and a strategy, you haven't got much. Let's talk about it.

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Resource links:

• TED: The single biggest reason why start-ups succeed (Bill Gross)
• Business Strategy & Planning (BDC)
• How to Write a Winning Business Plan (HBR)

Welcome to Weirdos in the Workplace, the podcast where we explore how authenticity, transparency, passion and purpose can be harnessed to build extraordinary visionary organizations.

Today, we're going on a journey to understand the single greatest influence on your business. I wonder if it's what you expect? Stay tuned.

The single greatest influence on your company is your CEO - their approach, psychology, personality, ideas and vision. If your company is highly siloed with each area working autonomously, this could also be said about the leader of that particular area.

Let's dive into the intriguing idea that every organization, in one way or another, is a mirror of its leader's psyche. We'll explore how this reflection influences the business, and more significantly, how you as a leader can mold this reflection for the greatest positive impact.

Welcome back, friends. You're tuned into Weirdos in the Workplace. The podcast that celebrates authenticity, passion, and purpose in our world of work.

I'm your host, Erin Patchell, and today we embark on the journey, exploring how we become who we need to be in order to reach our goals. Are you willing to get addicted to discomfort in progress?

Stay tuned.

Imagine a world where we possess the power to transform ourselves into the person we aspire to be. It's an exhilarating prospect. And for many of us.

In the personal development space, it is reality, and for most of us in the personal development space, before we made that jump, it was an impossibility.

So how do we navigate the intricate psychology of change and personal change?

Today we're going to dive into the nuances and uncover some secrets that will help both of us continue our transformations.

First, let's get personal. Have you ever had an aha moment?

I really hope the answer is yes.

So let me start by saying that my memory is terrible. Honestly, it's so terrible that it is nearly legendary, and it took me until my 30s to really understand how I was wired enough to start making real progress instead of treading water and to build the systems, structure, and discipline around me to make that happen. So, it took a significant amount of work to even get to that point where I was not just treading water but making progress. But once I did, it was finally like the stone, the stone was rolling downhill rather than me trying to carry it uphill, I was finally working with my strengths rather than against them.

Long story short, the discomfort of forward personal development is only sometimes comfortable. Still, it is infinitely more satisfying than the discomfort of being in that vicious circle of self-loathing, shame, and self-sabotage.

Each critical "aha" moment in my journey leaves an indelible mark on my identity, guiding me toward the person I need to become to make a positive and increasingly positive impact on the world around me.

Let me tell you a little story.

By the time I was 11 or 12 years old, it became very evident to the people around me that I was either naturally numb to my feelings and the feelings of the people around me. Or I had dissociated so much that there was a total block, and I had no idea how to respond to emotional situations.

It was becoming a really big social problem.

And one day, my best friend's mom sat me down, and she told me Erin, as long as you can logically understand how you should react in these situations, then you can pretend you can fake it till you make it. Essentially is what she was telling me and making that OK for me. And to clarify, these are situations where I was being bullied. They were not good; I wouldn't know how to react when someone was upset like they were.

They were traumatic situations, and I just sort of completely dissociated, and so it was actually an unhealthy way of adopting. It was a maladaptation, and I did need to figure out a way to hack myself out of that because at that age, you know, and back then, this was, you know, how old am I? This was 30 years ago, almost.

Back then, you know, kids didn't really see psychologists and things like that. It's changed dramatically in the last 30 years.

So really, we were on our own. And so, my friend's mom essentially taught me how to fake it till I made it, and that day was one of the 1st extremely clear aha moments of my life. From that day forward, my obsession became understanding myself and other people to change myself back into a person who could be engaging and worthy of a community because that was something I really desired for myself.

Do you think it's strange that for all my preaching about authenticity, my personal journey started with acting, which doesn't seem very authentic?

The thing is, authenticity isn't about who you are right now. On the surface, it's about who you are deep down inside yourself. It's the secret kernel of possibility, hope and potential that you have buried down so deeply that you barely even want to admit that those desires exist. We might bury that potential for many reasons, but it often comes down to cultural or family values.

The illusion of practicality. Some defiance within us, not having the right support systems around us to grow that spark into a raging fire. The person whom we become by accident.

Through our experiences, for better or worse, I don't think that's our authentic selves at all. I imagine my old self before I began to really try and continue to try before and over again and fail and try and fail and try.

That person was sort of like a boat adrift on the sea with no captain navigation, no sails, no letter, no tiller, nothing, just an empty hull drifting from place to place.

Place, you know, feeling just lucky to be staying afloat.

And The thing is, almost everything that comes with actualizing your potential can either be cultivated or learned. You can build and rebuild yourself as you see fit, and it won't happen overnight, but each tiny step in the right direction accumulates compound interest.

All we got to do is get over the barriers. You know it's simple, no, it's not simple, but you know it is worthwhile, and that's the point.

Those external factors and expectations that, over time, become internal factors and expectations conform to societal pressures, cultural norms, and expectations of others—eventually, the expectations of ourselves.

We may have been born with more limited resources and possibilities, and that's a real barrier for a lot of people.

But what I say is that ideas are free. Let yourself dream in a public way and start with small, consistent steps and keep going forward. If you're public about your dreams, you'll find the allies that you need.

Along the way, I can tell you that from personal experience.

Staying inside the comfort zone because it feels safe and familiar, fear of failure, and maybe even more often, sometimes fear of success. It can be overwhelming to think about the energy successful people need to spend on maintaining that success. That gap is even more of a chasm that that idea, that fear of success, is even more dramatic if you're in survival mode. Because right now, if you're in survival mode.

You can barely sustain your current energy level at your current level of success.

The idea of expanding, being successful and expending much more energy is, like, impossibly exhausting.

So, for many of us, the clarity of purpose comes from experience, built gradually over time. Two things overcome almost every obstacle, discipline and time.

With enough discipline and enough time, anyone can do anything they want. I'm a fan of the incremental approach, taking things down to the smallest possible useful steps and slowly building. And I'm constantly preaching this because sometimes that new identity, as I said, the new identity you're imagining, is so far removed from your current identity that that transformation seems almost impossible.

Have you ever had a dream at night that you were totally a different person? And then, one day, you wake up and have an intense deja vu?

So, when I was around 18 years old, right out of high school, I dreamed I was a mom and had many kids running around. I lived in a nice house with a big backyard and a fence around it, and we were hosting some parties.

In my dream, my life felt completely normal, joyful, and peaceful, even with the kids laughing and running around like lunatics. The BBQ fired up, you know, burgers on the barbecue and that smell. When I woke back up to my life at 18 years old, not even out of high school, it seemed completely preposterous.

It was.

It was ridiculous. I had no plan in the book of my life—literally just never-ending blank pages. I didn't have a partner at the time. I didn't even like kids.

At 18, there was. I had like this dark, overwhelming darkness and a weight on my soul that it never felt like I'd feel that hope, comfort, or success.

So Fast forward to 8 years later, I was in my real life. After eight years of sitting in my backyard of our second home, an older house in town with five bedrooms and a big backyard, and our family and friends laughing and telling stories. And my three kids and their cousins and friends were running around like crazy lunatics, and the moment my husband fired up that barbecue and the smell of that BBQ hit.

It was all of a sudden, like in the movies. When time slowed, and I took a moment to observe my reality, I suddenly had the most powerful sense of deja vu.

So was my dream of premonition, or did I cultivate this? Maybe we'll never know. But I can tell you that my life changed so quickly and dramatically in only eight years.

Yet as I lived through it, it felt very incremental and slow, and many challenges had ups and downs.

I lived those eight years almost exclusively outside my comfort zone, through college, navigating complex relationships, and depression, through the pregnancy of birth of three kids, marriage, home ownership, and uncovering and detangling my identity. Who am I as a person, mother, and friend?

As a wife through illness, I was also quite ill in my 20s. My journey to discovering my purpose outside of my family only started after all of this when I began working with professionals seeking leadership development when I was 30. I realized that healthy people are looking for something to belong to that makes them feel safe but challenges them.

That gives us hope and helps us realize our potential; we're holding these two ideas simultaneously. The idea is that I can look at the everyday beauty of my life and how wondrous it truly is.

While some simultaneously want something more profound and to bring the people around me whom I love on this journey at whatever speed is right for them. So I'm here to tell you, you weirdo.

That the courage to become fuller is something that you can cultivate over time that we're all cultivating over time.

So, listening to podcasts, reading books, and researching the path that you're thinking about, not everything has to be a revolution. Don't let it be a revolution. Revolutions start and tend to stop and fizzle out. Let it be an evolution. Start cultivating the people around you who will support you. Don't isolate yourself. Reach out all of a sudden. One day you'll realize you're ready to shed that old identity, and it'll feel like a rebirth.

So how do we reframe fear as excitement? I challenge you to notice those sensations in your body and explore them when you feel resistance or anger.

See if you can play a game with yourself to do the opposite of what your body is telling you to do.

Of course, there's that fine line between legitimately protecting yourself from harm and the grained instincts to avoid emotional discomfort.

So that's important to recognize one from the other like, you know, recognizing the difference between those uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty, unease and ingrained. Biases versus the important frameworks we've created, probably to protect ourselves from harm.

Practicing self-compassion and seeking support and accountability, reflecting and celebrating progress, reflecting and celebrating progress, something we all forget to do. Make sure that even if it's a small milestone, you recognize that it's a milestone. Look back, and it is, you know, look back at the progress and celebrate it if you can. At the heart of personal transformation lies goal setting and strategic planning. But it's not the kind of thing I mean.

You can set goals and try to reach them earlier in this process, but you'll find that you may not reach them, and that's OK. Setting very, very tiny incremental goals is the key. If you need to reach your goals, make them smaller.

It does provide direction, acts as a powerful compass, and helps us tune-up that noise. So clear objectives grant us that focus and clarity, but if you find that you need to hit those goals, make them tinier—tiny, tiny, tiny goals.

As Socrates once said, an unexamined life is not worth living. By reflecting on our experiences and understanding our nature on a deep and profound level, we can chart a course that aligns with our authentic selves.

If you've experienced a remarkable journey in your life, I'd love to share your story. Connect with me at [email protected].

As we knew by the end of today's episode, I want to express my utmost gratitude to all of you seeking personal growth and leaning into this uncomfortable process. And remember, you possess the power to become the person you need to be. Let me leave you with an inspiring quote from the renowned entrepreneur and inventor, Thomas Edison: "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

Thanks for joining us on episode 17 of Weirdos in the Workplace.

Stay curious, stay authentic, and most of all, don't stay out of trouble.