We’ll be right back

Michael and Paris talk about the Tales from the Crypt feature Demon Knight! Could 90’s Billy Zane be any more attractive? Do all these Demons dig Pantera? And what’s up with the crucifixion flashbacks? We don’t know. But we know this movie’s got it all! Nipple Play, green goo, exploding heads and hand grenades! And you’d better keep her name outta your mouth cuz Jada Pinkett is here too, and she’s not taking any shit from anyone.

It's Jason Goes to Hell! Kinda, well not really. Is this the longest title in Horror history? What is up with all this body horror? And at any point are we gonna see any Jason Voorhees on this Jason Voorhees tour? I guess we'll find out as we talk about this absolutely Wild entry in the series.

Join Michael and Paris as we discuss the legendary big screen debut from one Stephen Spielberg (Ever heard of him?!) It’s a fun listen as we talk about how at least one of us may never get in the water again. Is that girl fully nude in the opening scene? What’s up with that Kitner kid getting turned into fish sticks?Is Quints monologue truly one of the best of all time? Is it strange that this movie ends exactly like Casablanca? We find out in this episode. Farewell and adieu!

This week Paris and Michael discuss the 2013 sequel? Reboot? Requel? It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, It’s Evil Dead! We realized that maybe having an intervention in a creepy cabin full of dead cats is a bad idea. Is this whole thing just a drug-fueled fever dream? Is this just the worst scooby-doo fan film ever? What’s up with the Necronomicon being kept in a trash bag? Why all the potty mouth? And…So. Much. Blood!

This week Michael and Paris discuss the 1997 film Wishmaster! Does Clive Barker have a lawsuit here? Is our hero a scientist or a basketball coach? Is Andrew Divoff gods gift to women? And oh my it’s Buck Flower! This movie rocks and we’re here to talk about it.

Paris and Michael discuss the film, The Number 23! We realized that there’s really no excuse for a full arm tribal tattoo, and even less for bad camera filters. How the hell did this movie get made? Who thought casting Jim Carrey in this role was a good idea? How do we not get a single saxophone song in this score? It’s infuriating. It’s bad. It’s The Number 23.

Paris and Michael discuss the 80s cult classic, The Return of the Living Dead! We realized that you really can’t pick your friends and once you have them they may be your only chance to survive the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. Was everyone on drugs when writing and filming this movie? Possibly. What’s up with all the Nazi references for one our lead characters? How is there not a single Kentucky accent in this movie? Is this the best horror score/soundtrack of all time? Probably. And what’s up with this adorable Cookie Monster zombie? Doesn’t matter. All that matters is BRAINS!!

Paris and Michael discuss the film Hannibal. We realized that anything looks appetizing if it’s sautéed with shallots and butter. Did anyone consider the fact that Hannibal and Father Merrin have to be shopping at the same store? What’s up with all the booby sketches? In a film at least partly set in Italy, we don’t get a single pasta dinner? And what’s up with Hannibal flying coach? I guess it doesn’t matter, the important thing is that we find out the true meaning of love. This is really going to hurt.

Paris and Michael discuss the film 28 days later. We realized we don’t do enough cardio to survive an end of days event. Did walking dead just rip this intro off, or was it just parallel thinking? Why do we need to see Cillian Murphy’s member in the opening scene? Even in a British-centric movie, Christopher Eccleston had to play the bad guy? And what the hell is Crème de menthe anyway? It doesn’t matter, all the rules of society are out the window.