"Fake it till you make it" gets one thing wrong: new behaviour feels fake because it's unfamiliar, not because it's inauthentic. That awkwardness when you try something new isn't fraudulence, it's neuroplasticity doing its job.

Following on from last week's identity episode, Rebecca challenges the idea that there's one authentic self you're supposed to find, and David asks what we're actually faking when we fake it (spoiler: confidence, because confidence is currency). Along the way: authenticity used as a hall pass for rude behaviour, why a regulated nervous system comes before alignment, oversharing as a masking mechanism, and the one authenticity check no one else can run for you: your intention.

(03:24) "I'm just expressing my truth": the hall pass problem

(03:42) There is no single authentic self

(08:39) Regulate first, then find what's aligned

(10:35) "Fake it till you make it": debunked

(12:35) What we're really faking is confidence

(17:51) Called to share vs oversharing

(19:58) Intention: the real authenticity check

Dr Rebecca Chabot:

https://drrebeccachabot.com | https://purewellnesstasmania.com

David Masterton:

https://158lab.com.au

Wellness for Nerds shares general information and personal experience. It is not individual medical or mental-health advice.

Your identity protects you, until it starts breaking you. Fresh off her TEDx Hobart talk "Strong Identity Loosely Held", Dr Rebecca Chabot unpacks why a rigid identity keeps your nervous system in permanent defense, and what it costs you.

David brings the stranded-island test (who are you without the job, the possessions, the star sign?) and the uncomfortable truth that the old identity has to die before the new one shows up. Rebecca brings the best analogy of the episode: crabs, which grow by shedding the shell that used to protect them, and staying soft under a rock while the next one forms. The skill underneath it all: adaptive self-awareness, hearing yourself clearly enough to change before burnout forces you.

(02:55) Who am I without the labels?

(06:20) Strong Identity Loosely Held: the TEDx thesis

(08:39) What a rigid identity does to your nervous system

(13:11) Practising discomfort: stress tolerance

(17:23) The old identity has to die first

(18:28) The crab and the shell

(21:44) Adaptive self-awareness

Dr Rebecca Chabot:

https://drrebeccachabot.com | https://purewellnesstasmania.com

David Masterton:

https://158lab.com.au

Wellness for Nerds shares general information and personal experience. It is not individual medical or mental-health advice.

"Busy" has become a handshake: a badge of honour that hides what we actually feel. Problem is, your brain is listening every time you say it.

This week we pick apart the busyness script: why "how are you?" "busy!" is really a social dance, why Rebecca made a conscious decision years ago to never answer with "busy", and what the research says about language literally programming your brain (spoiler: "fake it till you make it" gets it backwards; you're not faking, you're programming). Plus a 10-second grounding practice from Eckhart Tolle you can do in any meeting, and David's favourite pattern-interrupt: asking people what made them smile.

Try it this week: next time someone asks how you are, don't say busy. Tell us what you said instead.

Resources: Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart(00:00) The busy epidemic

(03:24) Why Rebecca never says "busy"

(07:24) Successful ≠ busy

(10:28) The hands-and-feet grounding practice

(12:51) Interrupting the busy script

(21:37) You can't lie to your brain

Dr Rebecca Chabot:

https://drrebeccachabot.com https://purewellnesstasmania.com

David Masterton:

https://158lab.com.au

Wellness for Nerds shares general information and personal experience. It is not individual medical or mental-health advice.

Chronic stress takes your brain's decision-maker offline, turns everything into a crisis, and fogs your memory. This week we get into what's actually happening in your head, and the trainable skill that reverses it.

Rebecca breaks down the difference between acute and chronic stress and what an always-on nervous system does to the prefrontal cortex (decisions), amygdala (reactivity) and hippocampus (memory). David shares how he fixed his road rage: not with breathing hacks in the car, but with journaling, meditation and getting honest about what was underneath. Plus: the carpenter-and-sawdust test for whether you're productive or just busy, and the "Mississippi technique" for putting a gap between stimulus and response.

Your challenge this week: when something pushes your buttons, count your Mississippis before you respond. Tell us how many you needed.

(00:00) Peace & Performance

(03:04) Busy is not high performance

(08:36) Acute vs chronic stress

(09:40) What chronic stress does to your brain

(21:42) David's road rage story

(25:58) The stimulus-response gap

(29:07) The Mississippi technique

Dr Rebecca Chabot: https://drrebeccachabot.com | https://purewellnesstasmania.com

David Masterton: https://158lab.com.au

Wellness for Nerds shares general information and personal experience. It is not individual medical or mental-health advice.

A PhD scientist and a recovering corporate high performer walk into a podcast. Welcome to Wellness for Nerds: real science, honest stories, zero woo.

In episode one we introduce ourselves properly:

how a panel about performing at a high level without losing your peace turned into this show;

Rebecca's path from biochemistry to a PhD in ecology to translating science for the rest of us;

David's 4.5 years of conscious healing after realising he was financially full but emotionally empty;

why we called it Wellness for Nerds;

and the story of teaching the science of happiness to a room of cancer survivors.

If you're a high performer who rolls their eyes at the word "wellness" — this show is for you. New episodes weekly, in video on Spotify and YouTube.

Dr Rebecca Chabot: https://drrebeccachabot.com | https://purewellnesstasmania.com

David Masterton: https://158lab.com.au

Wellness for Nerds shares general information and personal experience — it's not individual medical or mental-health advice..