These days it's not just simple disagreements that keep us from connecting with people we once looked to as close friends, colleagues, or even family. We’ve discovered through political differences that our very morals and convictions--the beliefs that guide us and all we do--are completely opposite from people we once were close to, and it makes the feeling of loss at times unbearable.

We've not only lost the ability to have meaningful conversations with them, where curiosity and a thirst for knowledge fueled the interactions, but the willingness to change and listen to others' perspectives has gone out the window. The viewpoints of some friends and family members have molded into something so pointed and immovable that they drain our capacity to have deeper conversations. These test our relationships, unfortunately sometimes past the breaking point.

It’s hard wanting to converse with people while knowing that they always seem tethered to certain views. A conversation might start on a benign topic and without warning it's redirected to a hot-button, anger-inducing issue. At these times we aren't engaging solely with our friend or family member but also interacting with their ideologies that seem to shadow them at all times. And these ideologies have consequences for not only them but the people they claim to love.

So where do we go from here? How do we move forward and figure out how to co-exist with those we once loved and held dear after their choices have caused so much harm?

My simple advice: love them anyway, but realize that trust and regular access to you doesn’t need to be part of the equation.

It's hard to cut off people whom we've built memories with and shared our lives. But realizing the difference between love and trust is one of the most healing things we can do during this time. Protect your peace and don’t harden your heart, but remember that you are allowed to have boundaries. This is more than political differences. This is about having moral clarity.

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Growing up in school we learned a sugarcoated version of slavery and Black history. We learned how Harriet Tubman freed the slaves, the role Martin Luther King Jr. played during the civil rights era (and became convinced that the only speech he ever gave was “I Have a Dream”) and sometimes, if we were lucky, we learned how Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus to a white man and how that action led to change.

But in the wake of everything changing around us and the threat of our history being erased, we must move beyond the same few stories and celebrate Black history in a way that elevates our talents, inventiveness, intellect and contributions. Because these elements of our existence have impacted not only the United States but the world.

Our history as a people in this country is unique. It was pain and suffering that brought us here and while that struggle is what connected us as a people for so long, it was our resilience and joy that kept us connected. We endured a great deal of pain and suffering but over time the diaspora found ways to repurpose that pain and suffering, flip the script and connect ourselves through the creation of a new culture.

That culture is often now coveted by societies at home and abroad. Our culture sets the precedent for modern days trends, it deserves to be celebrated, taught, appreciated and honored. And it is centered around joy. Through innovation, creation, and execution, Black Americans have helped shape and build this nation in a way that no other race has and we are an integral part of its continued success.

From inventors like Garrett Morgan who invented the traffic light, to musicians like Fats Domino who helped pioneer rock and roll music, or scientists like Daniel Hale Williams who performed the first open heart surgery and opened the first interracial hospital, and trailblazers like Oprah who truly show us that your dreams can indeed come true even if you come from nothing.

Even though the teaching in schools is limited and now at risk of being erased all together, we know that our culture and successes have had and will continue to have a lasting impact on both this country and around the world.

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We set aside one month each year to honor, recognize and celebrate Black history. It’s an opportunity to highlight the accomplishments of the Black community in a country where Black history is otherwise so often centered on Black pain, struggle and trauma.

This foregrounding of our pain has so many touch points in America, from what is taught in schools, to what is reported on the news, and what is created, monetized and consumed for entertainment. Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the Black community’s history in this country and why I believe Black people have not received the empathy, recognition or reparations for which we have fought over the last hundred and fifty years. While we have made significant progress, there is one thing that has struck me: we as a collective do not and cannot have the documentation of what happened to our ancestors. There is simply no one around to confirm the truth.

My dad grew up on a plantation in Mississippi during World War II. He has told me what he remembers about his family history, but at a certain point his memories reach their limit and nothing else tangible exists that he can reference. This is the reality for the majority of Black Americans. While some journals have been uncovered, it pales in comparison to others’ genealogies. We as a community may never see the peace and acknowledgement we deserve because we have nothing to corroborate the atrocities that we know were committed. And while the accounts we do have are limited, personal testimonies can easily be refuted by someone who wants to erase the history that our ancestors actually lived.

I also realized that this is why so many people don’t respect plantations and the history that took place there. When the land where humans were owned, beaten, sold and treated like animals now regularly hosts weddings and get-togethers, it bears the question: does the history of this land matter? If so, why is it not preserved and honored with respect?

With the dismantling of DEI initiatives, the threat of having public school funding revoked if a school teaches history in a way this administration doesn’t like, and people refusing to atone for the past so we can move on, I have to ask: What does our future look like, how will our past be taught, and how will history remember us in this moment?

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Sending you all some love and a thank you today. I thank you for supporting the work that I do and that you find value in what I have to say. It means more than I could ever put into words.

#WeNeedToTalk is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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I love when my daughter’s teacher sends home the work they’ve done throughout the week. Last week they learned all about Martin Luther King: how he was a leader, what he fought for and how he had a dream. While I encourage adults to do a deep-dive into MLK’s legacy beyond his “I Have a Dream” speech, I think it’s one of the most important moments in history a child can learn. So I was so happy when my daughter came home excited to share what she had learned. She is four years old, but that didn’t stop us from having a meaningful conversation about MLK.

At the end of the school week, they all filled out what their dream was. My daughter wrote on her worksheet, “I have a dream that MLK would never have died”.

I sat with this for a while, struck by the thought of him still being alive to witness what our society has become. What would he think of the MAGA movement? What politicians would he embrace to make meaningful change? What ideologies would he reject? What ideals would he still hold dear? And would the people who quote him the most welcome his attempts for continuous social change or would they villainize him the way they do so many others who are on the opposite end of their belief system?

We often see people quote MLK saying that we shouldn’t judge people by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. While this sentiment is admirable and one we should all live by, the reality is that we don’t.

If character truly mattered, would we really be swearing in a man to lead the country who has shown us time and time again his profound lack of character or moral compass? Would so many of those in positions of influence look to kiss the proverbial ring to curry favor in the pursuit of money? Would we have politicians who preach family values but nonetheless try to control who others can marry? I think MLK was right to say, “We need leaders not in love with money but in love with justice, not in love with publicity but in love with humanity.”

What would being in love with humanity look like? Advocating for the rights of others. Fighting to end racism. Ensuring kids can attend school without fear of being shot. Providing access to quality education and affordable healthcare to everyone. Fostering empathy among all Americans.

We’re fortunate that MLK’s words have outlived the man himself. But honoring his legacy means staying true to those words by leading with character and focusing on our shared humanity. And by doing so, we just might make America great.

#WeNeedToTalk is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Malynda Hale is a multi-hyphenate content creator in Los Angeles. She is an award-winning actress and singer who utilizes her voice through activism in digital media. Most recently she starred in the feature film Bull Street alongside Loretta Devine and Amy Madigan and made her directorial debut with the short film Curtain Call that has screened at film festivals across the globe. She has been a featured commentator on CNN and ABC News Live as well as a guest writer for The Daily Beast, Blavity and The Female Lead. She was named by Wired as one of the top influencers affecting the 2024 election, and has been featured in LA Times, on Good Morning America and NPR’s Marketplace Tech. She’s the owner of the entertainment production company JMV Entertainment and creator of The Black Voices Heard project.

It’s been a week.

The headlines we’ve read, the videos we’ve watched and the sadness we’ve felt. With every passing minute it seems there has been more bad news that floods our feeds, and if I’m being honest it’s been too much to deal with.

Los Angeles continues to face turmoil as the city burns around us, our President-elect solidified his freedom by receiving no jail time for his hush money case, DEI programs were rolled back and dismantled from many organizations, Meta confirmed they will no longer be fact checking or censoring posts on their platforms, misinformation was rapidly spread about the leadership in Los Angeles, and Idaho Republicans introduced legislation that asks the Supreme Court to reverse its decision on marriage equality.

With all that continues to happen, all I have are more questions to which I fear I will never get the answers.

In eight days we will have a transfer of power to a man whose name I personally never want to hear again. But with Donald Trump now entering into the presidency once again, the one question I have is: when will accountability start to matter? When the next person set to lead this country is a convicted felon, how are we not sending the message that people can be and are above the law?

We all know that social media is a blessing and a curse. It allows us the opportunity to engage with one other, obtain information and consume content. But with changes in how social media will be consumed and shared, how can we trust the news around us when one of the biggest sources of information has now committed itself to not allowing fact checking for “fear of being politically biased?” If no one is committed to the truth how can we ever know what’s real?

How are we still combatting marriage equality? It’s 2025! When will people let go of this obsession to what the LGBTQ community does or doesn’t do? Why can’t people love who they want to love and be who they want to be? The need to control other people’s lives because of what you believe is archaic, and still having to battle the issue is exhausting. When will politicians put energy into something that actually affects their constituents everyday lives instead of wasting time with unnecessary moves like marriage equality and who can use what bathroom?

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Will empathy and compassion ever be in the room with us? How many tragedies do we have to encounter as a society before we start focusing on solutions rather than pointing fingers about who or what caused the problem?

We aren’t even a full two weeks into this year and I’m tired. Our society is crumbling, and common sense, decency, humanity and love are becoming foreign concepts in a world that needs them the most. Sooner or later we are going to have to get a handle on this or we will keep spinning in this never-ending cycle of tragedy.

Malynda Hale is a multi-hyphenate content creator in Los Angeles. She is an award-winning actress and singer who utilizes her voice through activism in digital media. Most recently she starred in the feature film Bull Street alongside Loretta Devine and Amy Madigan and made her directorial debut with the short film Curtain Call that has screened at film festivals across the globe. She has been a featured commentator on CNN and ABC News Live as well as a guest writer for The Daily Beast, Blavity and The Female Lead. She was named by Wired as one of the top influencers affecting the 2024 election, and has been featured in LA Times, on Good Morning America and NPR’s Marketplace Tech. She’s the owner of the entertainment production company JMV Entertainment and creator of The Black Voices Heard project.

This week has been nothing short of heartbreaking as multiple wildfires across Los Angeles have destroyed home after home. Seeing videos of people packing their belongings, evacuating with their animals and leaving their cars behind brought me to tears. My home has been spared (so far), but the fires have left a literal and proverbial dark cloud over the city prompting us to wonder what to do next.

#WeNeedToTalk is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Fires aren’t uncommon in this city, but something about this time feels different. There’s a deep sadness paired with the question of, “Was this preventable?” And while we’re often told not to make tragedy political, it’s hard not to focus on how certain things like wild fires can be prevented and how we can prepare for them in the future.

It’s another way of asking, “When will people start to care more?” What will it take?

Each unfolding tragedy in this country seems to desensitize us more and more. We get better at avoiding the underlying issues, and we trust our leadership even less. We’ve seen it with gun violence, and we’re seeing it now with climate change. These fires have strained already thin city resources, despite the firefighters doing everything they can to get them under control. Additionally, we hear stories of insurance companies dropping people’s policies just months before these fires took place. And now we’re witnessing in real time people of all walks of life losing their homes, while others in certain corners of social media are responding with malice.

Is there no tragedy that will bring us all together? When will we collectively start to care? How many life changing incidents have to occur before people acquire more empathy? Will any of these situations ever be viewed as non-partisan?

The United States certainly has its shortcomings, but we can’t deny that as a society we are fairly privileged. But sometimes when we are stopped in our tracks, when our routines are interrupted and we are left to figure things out for ourselves, it gives us an opportunity to reflect. We so often get into a mindset of being comfortable with our current situation that we never think that in the blink of an eye it could be taken away from us. These very real events affecting our everyday lives will continue to grow to a point where we won’t be able to take steps to prevent anything. It will all be too late.

This week’s disasters have made something very clear to me. We as humans don’t take care of or appreciate the earth or people around us enough. At some point we must wake up and take the steps to prevent certain tragedies from being normalized and work together to rebuild when they do. We cannot get into the culture of simply accepting things when they happen if there are clear steps we can take to keep them from getting worse. Things like climate change and personal tragedy are bipartisan, human issues. And at at some point we have to start caring.

For resources and ways you can help those affected by the fires, click here.

Malynda Hale is a multi-hyphenate content creator in Los Angeles. She is an award-winning actress and singer who utilizes her voice through activism in digital media. Most recently she starred in the feature film Bull Street alongside Loretta Devine and Amy Madigan and made her directorial debut with the short film Curtain Call that has screened at film festivals across the globe. She has been a featured commentator on CNN and ABC News Live as well as a guest writer for The Daily Beast, Blavity and The Female Lead. She was named by Wired as one of the top influencers affecting the 2024 election, and has been featured in LA Times, on Good Morning America and NPR’s Marketplace Tech. She’s the owner of the entertainment production company JMV Entertainment and creator of The Black Voices Heard project.

#WeNeedToTalk is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I grew up in the church. My sister, my mom and I went every Sunday. I was involved in Sunday school, youth choir and after-church activities. It was all I knew. And I’m grateful for having that experience because it shaped a lot of my life. It affirmed my love for music, it gave me the start to my value system, it taught me about community, family, and most importantly faith. But it was never imposed on me that I had to follow that belief system. My mom simply introduced me to what she believed and always said that it was my choice.

Now that I am raising two daughters, I am set in my own belief system, just like my mom was. I stuck it out with Christianity, despite having issues with the faith, because I align with the core values of Jesus. Honestly, I prefer to say I am a follower of Christ. I think that wording embodies more what I believe and how I go through the world. I’ve kept my faith intact (for the most part) and up until three years ago I was heavily involved in the church. I also became vegan almost twenty years ago because it’s in-line with my activism and love for animals.

While these belief systems are important to me and have helped shape who I am as a person, I will never impose them on my daughters. They will simply know—just as I did with my mother—why they matter to me and why I’ve chosen to follow them. If they choose to go down the same path as me, I want them to do it because it’s what’s right for them, not because I forced it on them.

The power of choice is beautiful thing to have, and I fully believe that had my mom not given me the option to choose whatever works for me I would’ve left my faith a long time ago. But I formed my own relationship with God and chose to follow the teachings of Jesus because it’s what worked for the person I was becoming. Being forced to believe in anything will always put a sour taste in anyone’s mouth. But given a choice, they are more likely to see why something works for someone else and potentially follow along.

I know as parents we are given the daunting task of raising someone to be a good person, care about others and do what we feel is right. But what’s right for us may not be right for them.

My oldest daughter has always been independent, and I’ve given her the opportunity at times to make her own choices about activities she wants to participate in, things she wants to try and of course what clothes she wants to wear. Even at four years old, giving her a little independence has helped her navigate her own wants and needs so she can become her own person. My role is simply to guide her.

Of all the people I have met in my life, the people who tend to rebel the most are ones who grew up in households that were too strict and had organized religion forced on them. Not only that, everything they were told to steer clear of they gravitated towards like forbidden fruit. The deep-rooted fear that their parents instilled in them about the unknown turned into curiosity that couldn’t be tamed, and that eventually led them to walking away from their faith and religion all together.

I’m a firm believer that everyone’s journey is different and uniquely their own. This is why I’m such an advocate for an education system that exposes kids to all walks of life, different belief systems and identities, not one that bans books and posts the Ten Commandments on the wall of a public school and expects this to achieve anything. We should be focused on making kids become the best people they can possibly be and making sure that it brings them happiness. We should all choose whatever works for our personal journeys, and let people live in a way that makes them happy.

Malynda Hale is a multi-hyphenate content creator in Los Angeles. She is an award-winning actress and singer who utilizes her voice through activism in digital media. Most recently she starred in the feature film Bull Street alongside Loretta Devine and Amy Madigan and made her directorial debut with the short film Curtain Call that has screened at film festivals across the globe. She has been a featured commentator on CNN and ABC News Live as well as a guest writer for The Daily Beast, Blavity and The Female Lead. She was named by Wired as one of the top influencers affecting the 2024 election, and has been featured in LA Times, on Good Morning America and NPR’s Marketplace Tech. She’s the owner of the entertainment production company JMV Entertainment and creator of The Black Voices Heard project.

For years and neraly 200 episodes, #WeNeedToTalk comes to an end.

Happy Holidays to all of my amazing listeners and supporters. For the last 4 years I have had the opportunity to bring to you some incredible conversations, unbelievable guests, education and knowledge about things that mattered so much to me. And for the last 4 years I’ve solely done everything on my own! Sometimes people are surprised to hear that but it’s true. From producing to editing, to even booking and scheduling. #WeNeedToTalk has been my labor of love and a true passion project. But after nearly 200 episodes and over 130 guests it’s time for this iteration of #WeNeedToTalk to end. That doesn’t mean #WeNeedToTalk will not come back in some form one way or another. But it does mean that for I must hit the pause button and seek out other ventures that fulfill me the way this show has. I can’t begin to tell you that having my show grow from a couple hundred downloads to nearly 5k downloads a month with little to not advertising, and being a one woman operation has been humbling and filled me with gratitude. I doubt myself alot but I do know that I was good at this. I loved having conversations with people and learning. I walked away from these conversations a better person and I hope you did to. If you aren’t already following me on social media please do. And pleass share episodes that resonated with you with others. This isn’t a good bye but simple a “until next time” Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the last 4 years! And remember, everything begins with a conversation!

FOllow Malynda on Instagram and Threads @malyndahale

On this Episode of #WeNeedToTalk, Malynda chats with Sleuth App startup founder, Sehreen Ali Noor. They discuss parenting, medical care, why she created the app and how parents need more support. Sehreen is the co-founder of Sleuth, an app that enables parents to understand, manage, and predict their child's health. Backed by investors like Gary Vaynerchuk, Sleuth is the first platform to combine crowdsourced health histories with AI to give parents comprehensive, evidence-backed information about their kid's health and development that can be taken to a pediatrician. Sehreen is passionate about supporting founders, serving on the leadership team of VC Backed Moms (300 founders, $2B+ raised) and an EIR at Brown University. The journey to Sleuth is inspired by her struggle navigating her daughter's health and she is a vocal advocate for more inclusive policies towards all kids, especially ones with medical and special needs.

All Listeners of #WeNeedToTalk can use the promo code: Malynda20 for 20% discount. To download the app click here: Sleuth.

#WeNeedToTalk is hosted by singer, songwriter, actress and activist Malynda Hale.  She won “Best Female Vocalist” at the Hollywood Music in Media Awards, “Best Pop Music Video” at the Indie Music Channel Awards, and “Pop Song of the Year” at The Josie Music Awards. She has been a headliner for the NAMM show, has opened for artists such as Tyrone Wells, Ernie Halter, Levi Kreis, OTOWN and Smokey Robinson and sung background for Melissa Manchester, Terron Brooks and Foreigner. She has toured the world as a guest entertainer on cruise lines such as Royal Caribbean, Regent, and Celebrity. She has also  sung the national anthem numerous times for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Los Angeles Lakers, LA Galaxy, and the California Democratic National Convention. She recently had music featured on the CBS hit soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful as well as the Disney channel TV show Saturdays.  She was also a featured soloist in WhyHunger’s: Drum Together version of The Beatles classic “Come Together”. The project featured over 100 drummers and musicians including Ringo Starr and a featured soloist for the San Bernardino Symphony Orchestra. She has appeared in numerous stage productions, national commercials, independent films and TV movies.She hosts the #WeNeedToTalk Podcast that is centered around meaningful conversations, is the owner of JMV Entertainment  and a proud member of AEA, SAG-AFTRA and NARAS.

Website: www.malyndahale.com | Instagram: @malyndahale | Twitter & Threads: @malyndahale | TikTok: @malyndahale