This week's episode is a little all over the place - I feel like something is 'missing' in my life (hands up if you feel the same!), I'm also enjoying my growing interest in horror films and of course, Arabic.

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The past two weeks have been...good! I feel driven, motivated, inspired. I reflect on some positive growth moments and mention my plans to be fluent in Arabic by the time I hit 30 to keep myself accountable.

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We love a good wrap up. Today's episode is a lil' different - I go through some reflection questions on how my 2022 went and my possibly (un)realistic expectations for 2023.

As mentioned, if you missed out on my Kilimanjaro episode, you may catch it here - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/51066526

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The World Cup made a huge impact on me, but before I go further, I'd like to clarify a few things in case it wasn't clear enough in this episode:

1. I do not condone any form of human rights violations or corruption, I was merely pissed off at the Western countries and media criticising Qatar and my intention is to highlight their hypocrisy and double standards when reporting on Muslim/Arab countries.
2. Here's a link to the type of language used by Western media when reporting on the Qatar World Cup - https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmflglYD7hS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link. You can see how racist and Islamophobic they are.
3. Qatar is a Muslim country, so whether or not you support their LGBTQ stance is irrelevant when you visit. As a tourist, you respect their rules, the same way the West expect tourists to adapt and conform to their rules and culture. My intention is to highlight the hypocrisy of the West and also some of the national teams (England) that threatened to boycott and wear rainbow bands for their matches.
4. There was a lot of criticism over how politics got involved in the World Cup ie LGBTQ / human rights. There is merit to highlighting social issues on a global platform, and whether football is the right platform for that is up to you. In my opinion, Morocco's expression of their faith was not a political move. They naturally express their faith in their day to day, and that representation was not with agenda.

I don't have all the facts and figures, and for a topic this controversial, I do have blind spots.

Links to the 2 songs I quoted on this episode which have become a favourite:

1. Arhbo - https://open.spotify.com/track/139nCjBRQCLgnWNRxBKAC7?si=d6e8ca4d2c694b12
2. Calm Down - https://open.spotify.com/track/0WtM2NBVQNNJLh6scP13H8?si=57123d6e5daf40f6

I also discuss how I prepared for my half marathon!

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Lots of feelings have been felt this week - from clarity over my loneliness to excitement over something teenage Naqiya only ever dreamt about. I felt happy and excited this week but also guilt - why is it so hard to let the joy in?

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Major theme of this episode: I can't control people nor how life unravels itself. Emotions associated with this lack of control: loneliness, grief, pain, anxiety, abandonment. Fun.

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As per usual, this episode is a little heavy. Just a little. I talk about my money worries, sexual harassment trauma and my anxious attachment style in friendships.

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Friendships are complicated, feeling safe in relationships and growing older.

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I resigned from my job, turned 26 and grieved my death. Great week.

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Lots of 'mercury in retrograde' moments happened over the course of the week, but there's always time to deep think societal issues such as how we let ourselves be affected by fear of reputational backlash, and hating on capitalism.

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