Propriety, or being prim and proper is described as:
// Conformity to conventionally accepted standards of behavior.
For example. Inviting yourself to someone’s house for dinner is generally considered to be impolite or forward based on the proprieties of modern civilization.
In my opinion, propriety is just watered-down modesty. Propriety is a man-made construct in which its rules are determined by whatever society deems to be the norm whereas modesty is a godly characteristic that reflects the motive of one’s heart. The way Eleanor treats Zak is a very good example of how we treat people based on what the social norm dictates. She treats Zak the way she does because this is what has been accepted as the standard. She means well, but her actions communicate to Zak that he is helpless and even pitiful. This is watered-down modesty.
“The virtue of modesty, in dress and holistically, is much more offensive, pride-shattering, and worthwhile than any ‘thou shalt not’ issued by the religious department of the fashion police.”
- John Piper
Modesty is rarely as simple as the stuff society considers to be appropriate or inappropriate.