You cannot teach executive function by controlling a child harder.

Executive function is not just about planners, homework, and getting organized. It is about self-awareness, self-regulation, and being able to take the next step toward a goal, even when something feels hard.

In this episode, I talk with Sean McCormick, founder of Executive Function Specialists, about what actually helps kids build executive function skills. We unpack why avoidance is often a sign that something feels too hard, why motivation works better when it connects to a child's own goals, and why adults need to stop trying to control kids and start getting more curious about what is getting in the way.

Sean shares practical ways to break big goals into doable steps, explains why support should be done with kids instead of for them, and makes a strong case for modeling executive function in our own lives too.

Key Takeaways

• Executive function is bigger than school skills. It includes planning, organization, self-awareness, time awareness, inhibition, emotional regulation, and the ability to evaluate priorities and move toward a future goal.
• Emotional regulation is part of executive function. Kids cannot plan, prioritize, or get started well when they are overwhelmed and not aware of what they are feeling.
• Avoidance usually tells us something important. When a child keeps avoiding homework or a task, it often means the task feels too hard, too big, too unclear, or too emotionally loaded.
• Real growth happens at the point of performance. Executive function skills are built in the moment a child is facing the actual challenge, not only through lessons about skills in the abstract.
• Kids need the next right step, not the whole staircase. A big goal becomes more manageable when adults help break it down into a challenge that feels just doable enough.
• Motivation works better when it belongs to the child. Kids are more likely to engage when they can connect daily tasks to something they want for themselves, not just something adults want from them.
• Adults have to notice the nonverbal signs. Body language, shutdown, avoidance, and tone often tell us more than a child's words about when something feels too hard.
• Support works best when it is done with a child, not for them. Co-regulating, helping them get started, and gradually releasing responsibility builds skill without taking away agency.
• Failure is not the end of the process. Failure gives feedback. Natural consequences can help kids learn, especially when an adult helps them reflect and recover instead of shaming them.
• Adults need to model executive function too. Kids learn from how we manage our own energy, limits, priorities, and stress. Burned-out adults cannot effectively teach sustainable regulation.

About Sean McCormick

Sean McCormick is a former public school special education teacher and the founder of Executive Function Specialists, an online coaching company that supports students with ADHD and autism in building executive function skills.

He also founded the Executive Function Coaching Academy to train educators and professionals in executive function coaching, and co-founded UpSkill Specialists to support neurodivergent adults.

Sean is passionate about helping students and families understand the practical skills that make everyday life more manageable and meaningful.

About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet

I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids.

Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.

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