Guest: Stephen Oehlschlaeger

A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth.   Ecclessiastes 7:1

Solomon is saying that everyone gets a name when they are born; but when they die, we all get to evaluate what they did with the name they were given - what life did they make, what impact did they have, what legacy did they leave?

People have to feel like you care about them before a relationship will grow.

So important to have good people around you - here’s a quote that expresses that concept to wrestle with:

“One of the most valuable lessons I learned from [my father] growing up was that we are all guilty by association. In other words, we are the average of the people that we spend the most time with. So, if you want to be drug dealer? Surround yourself with drug dealers. If you want to be a millionaire? Surround yourself with millionaires. This goes for surrounding yourself with people who are caring, generous, etc., and has really carried into the kinds of friends and professional networks that I aim to keep.”  Adam Callinan, cofounder and CEO of BottleKeeper

While there is some truth to this comment, I think this idea is too simplistic - good place to start, but relationships are more complex and deserve more attention than this quote gives to them. For example, you can surround yourself with millionaires that lack moral integrity and have lied and cheated their way to their wealth - just because you have money, doesn’t mean that you have character. 

While you are influenced by the people you’re around, you need to be discerning about what level of influence you allow anyone to have in your life. The old adage of “eating the chicken and throwing away the bones” can apply to relationships as well as ideas - we can learn positive aspects from others, but choose to not allow negative influences into our lives.

Key: learn how to evaluate and self-reflect on your own life.

Key: training for manhood is a series of a million “smaller” decisions that you make every day that add up to the quality of your life

Men, do the work without the need for recognition. But…if I expect nothing, doesn’t that mean I’ll get nothing? That’s what you signed up for - remember? You should be giving 100% expecting nothing…and find a spouse who signs up to give 100% expecting nothing - that’s a great marriage!

Believers who are loving their spouse correctly, the natural gaps that are created in life are filled.

What kind of man do you want to be…and are you around the kind of men that you want to be? Realize there is more to being a man than your bank account. Are you around guys that model what is means to be the kind of man you really want to be?

Men, find some time to evaluate how you’re doing in life - self-awareness, self-reflection. Small course corrections done more frequently are much easier than a large course correction later in life.

Men, utilize some “tools” along the way to help you evaluate where you are in life. Write some thoughts down in a journal so you can evaluate those feelings and thoughts later.

Men, ask yourself this question: are you proud of the work you’re doing? Are you proud of the person you’re becoming? If not, what steps are you going to take to change things?