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What Couples Therapy Is All About with Bruce Chalmer
Summary
In this engaging conversation, Keegan Read and Dr. Bruce Chalmer explore the intricacies of couples therapy, emphasizing the importance of kindness, communication, and intimacy. Dr. Chalmer shares his personal experiences as a therapist and the challenges faced in helping couples navigate their relationships. They discuss the stigma surrounding therapy, the dynamics of individual versus couples therapy, and the tools that can enhance communication and understanding between partners. The conversation highlights the need for therapists to also seek support and the evolving perceptions of therapy in society. In this conversation, Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Keegan Read explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on themes such as betrayal, intimacy, and the importance of kindness and faith. They discuss the skills necessary for navigating anxiety in relationships, the emotional bank account metaphor, and the impact of substance abuse on couples therapy. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding human behavior within context and the role of humor in retrieving sanity amidst life's absurdities.
Takeaways
Therapists often need therapy themselves.
Couples therapy can be rewarding despite challenges.
Communication is often misidentified as the main issue.
Intimacy is crucial for healthy relationships.
Men may resist therapy due to fear of vulnerability.
Shame can hinder honest communication in relationships.
Individual therapy can sometimes complicate couples therapy.
The stigma around therapy is decreasing over generations.
Effective communication involves understanding underlying emotions.
Tools like journaling can enhance communication and intimacy. Even those who betray often feel remorse and are not evil.
Intimacy requires the ability to tolerate anxiety.
Kindness in relationships means being honest, even when it's hard.
Faith in relationships means believing in the possibility of growth after betrayal.
Emotional interactions can be viewed as deposits in an emotional bank account.
Avoiding conflict can lead to a death spiral in relationships.
Substance abuse can complicate relationship dynamics and therapy.
Understanding the context of actions is crucial in therapy.
Humor and irony can help navigate life's absurdities.
Retrieving sanity involves appreciating contradictions in life.
Chapters
00:00 The Seven Word Formula for Relationships
01:03 The Therapist's Journey: Personal and Professional
03:42 The Dynamics of Couples Therapy
06:35 The Role of Individual Therapy in Relationships
09:35 Understanding Gender Dynamics in Therapy
13:13 Overcoming Reluctance: Getting Partners to Therapy
16:37 Shame and Self-Discovery in Therapy
19:01 The Evolving Relationship Between Therapy and 12-Step Programs
21:29 It's Not About Communication
23:22 Understanding Effective Communication
25:36 The Role of Intimacy in Relationships
26:57 Tools for Better Communication
29:53 Stability vs. Intimacy in Relationships
32:51 The Importance of Tolerating Anxiety
35:13 Faith in Relationships
39:22 Emotional Bank Accounts in Relationships
41:59 The Emotional Bank Account in Relationships
43:26 Understanding the Death Spiral in Couples Therapy
45:36 The Role of Substance Abuse in Relationship Dynamics
48:30 Faith and Understanding in Therapy
50:36 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy
51:32 The Journey of Couples Therapy
52:40 The Game: Fix the Formula
59:07 The Absurdities of Life and Relationships
Music: Addictions by Jay Someday is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...
Download / Stream: https://hypeddit.com/jaysomeday/addic...
Support by RFM - NCM: • Addictions - Jay Someday | @RFM_NCM
📣Check out the website for a list of all guests! -- https://retrievingsanity.com
🔔Subscribe for more content ~2x/week
Mental Health Podcast #podcast #mentalhealthpodcast #retrievingsanity #couplestherapy #communication #intimacy #relationshipissues #stigma #12step #emotionalhealth #betrayal #anxiety #faith
Call 988 if you are experiencing ANY mental crisis!
Be sure to check out Retrievingsanity.com for all past guest resources!
Want to be a guest on Retrieving Sanity: A Mental Health Podcast? Send Keegan Read a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/retrievingsanitypodcast
View all episodes
By Tanner Keegan Read
5
55 ratings
Summary
In this engaging conversation, Keegan Read and Dr. Bruce Chalmer explore the intricacies of couples therapy, emphasizing the importance of kindness, communication, and intimacy. Dr. Chalmer shares his personal experiences as a therapist and the challenges faced in helping couples navigate their relationships. They discuss the stigma surrounding therapy, the dynamics of individual versus couples therapy, and the tools that can enhance communication and understanding between partners. The conversation highlights the need for therapists to also seek support and the evolving perceptions of therapy in society. In this conversation, Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Keegan Read explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on themes such as betrayal, intimacy, and the importance of kindness and faith. They discuss the skills necessary for navigating anxiety in relationships, the emotional bank account metaphor, and the impact of substance abuse on couples therapy. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding human behavior within context and the role of humor in retrieving sanity amidst life's absurdities.
Takeaways
Therapists often need therapy themselves.
Couples therapy can be rewarding despite challenges.
Communication is often misidentified as the main issue.
Intimacy is crucial for healthy relationships.
Men may resist therapy due to fear of vulnerability.
Shame can hinder honest communication in relationships.
Individual therapy can sometimes complicate couples therapy.
The stigma around therapy is decreasing over generations.
Effective communication involves understanding underlying emotions.
Tools like journaling can enhance communication and intimacy. Even those who betray often feel remorse and are not evil.
Intimacy requires the ability to tolerate anxiety.
Kindness in relationships means being honest, even when it's hard.
Faith in relationships means believing in the possibility of growth after betrayal.
Emotional interactions can be viewed as deposits in an emotional bank account.
Avoiding conflict can lead to a death spiral in relationships.
Substance abuse can complicate relationship dynamics and therapy.
Understanding the context of actions is crucial in therapy.
Humor and irony can help navigate life's absurdities.
Retrieving sanity involves appreciating contradictions in life.
Chapters
00:00 The Seven Word Formula for Relationships
01:03 The Therapist's Journey: Personal and Professional
03:42 The Dynamics of Couples Therapy
06:35 The Role of Individual Therapy in Relationships
09:35 Understanding Gender Dynamics in Therapy
13:13 Overcoming Reluctance: Getting Partners to Therapy
16:37 Shame and Self-Discovery in Therapy
19:01 The Evolving Relationship Between Therapy and 12-Step Programs
21:29 It's Not About Communication
23:22 Understanding Effective Communication
25:36 The Role of Intimacy in Relationships
26:57 Tools for Better Communication
29:53 Stability vs. Intimacy in Relationships
32:51 The Importance of Tolerating Anxiety
35:13 Faith in Relationships
39:22 Emotional Bank Accounts in Relationships
41:59 The Emotional Bank Account in Relationships
43:26 Understanding the Death Spiral in Couples Therapy
45:36 The Role of Substance Abuse in Relationship Dynamics
48:30 Faith and Understanding in Therapy
50:36 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy
51:32 The Journey of Couples Therapy
52:40 The Game: Fix the Formula
59:07 The Absurdities of Life and Relationships
Music: Addictions by Jay Someday is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...
Download / Stream: https://hypeddit.com/jaysomeday/addic...
Support by RFM - NCM: • Addictions - Jay Someday | @RFM_NCM
📣Check out the website for a list of all guests! -- https://retrievingsanity.com
🔔Subscribe for more content ~2x/week
Mental Health Podcast #podcast #mentalhealthpodcast #retrievingsanity #couplestherapy #communication #intimacy #relationshipissues #stigma #12step #emotionalhealth #betrayal #anxiety #faith
Call 988 if you are experiencing ANY mental crisis!
Be sure to check out Retrievingsanity.com for all past guest resources!
Want to be a guest on Retrieving Sanity: A Mental Health Podcast? Send Keegan Read a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/retrievingsanitypodcast