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SHOW NOTES

 Its been 30 years

And for my friends the Stevens family

Its been 1 582 weeks

30 years of saying yes to the passion that God has placed on the inside of me to lead

See - its a journey of leading others to find their God-given purpose  

And because of that - you have this feeling on the inside - 

that it is our leadership responsibility to do eve tying in our power to help 

Others achieve their God-given purpose

You know - this week I want to do some explain why I say it been 30- years

I get asked this several times, about why I look at a specific date…

I can’t say that I started logging the time at that date, but I will say that when I look back in my life at an event that shook me

An event that made me look at myself in the way of being responsible for the gift that God has given me and the people that He has put around me.

I have to go back to my sophomore year of High School

In a little town in Louisiana - Leesville

Good of LHS and the amazing wampums cats!~

I moved to Louisiana when I was in 8th grace and decided that summer before (when we spent two weeks in Wst Virginia while dad was getting everything ready) that is as going to be a trumpet player

I LOVED jazz and blues type music and wanted to learn something

My aunt Kathy had been a trumpet player and she had given my parents an old ambassador trumpet that they had redone for me right before we left Germany. 

 I remember sitting on the driveway at my grandmamma's house and playing - I am sure it was difficult for the neighbors as well as my mom - but hey, I was a budding star!!! 

When we got to Louisiana I didn’t fit it - I’m a military kid at a public school that must be moved from Europe where culture is different AND I’m a Christian by faith that wants to be a Christian… 

 So, my only place that I found that I fit in was the band!!! And let me tell you - I loved the band - it was my place to connect and grow and belong

There was this one particular guy (who was better than me - at the time) who was in that band who also played trumpet that we started getting along pretty good - his name was Eddie Garcia 

 Over the next 1.5 years rest of 8th grade and all of 9th grade

He and I worked our way up thr0ugh the ranks of trumpet players 

We would challenge each other for first chair positions

We would challenge each other 

and our abilities to the point that we were both in the symphonic band at LHS almost immediately - as a freshman.

So here we are in 2nd row 1st and 2nd 

position behind all the better juniors and seniors - but we were on the team!

Fast forward into the summer right before our sophomore year - we are loading up to go to band camp (2 weeks of marching practice and song development ) and Eddie and I determine that we are going to room together! We both loved music

Leading up to band camp I had a summer where I started working on. My walk with God

I was blessed, I saw my parents every day spend time with God - they had Bible studies all the time at the house, opened our home for people to come and grow in their walk with God - it was very special to 

use and it was something that I wanted to do - I wanted to be close to God

So I started reading my bible 

everyday

I started praying more and asking God about what I should be doing in the future… 

In short - I had started having my relationship with God

Not only that - I remember hearing from our church that I needed to be spending more time telling people about my walk 

with God

What if there is something this important to me, I should make it part of my 

friend lives. We took my sister to a youth conference and I r3emeber seeing her being more about God too - so, it was like - I need to do this

So back to our story...

We are on the bus to go 

to camp and for what I remember as being the first time in my life I felt like God was talking to me. I felt this voice behind my ear saying - Ben, tell Eddie about me… 

I was excited, scared, afraid of rejection, but super stoked at the same time to share God with Eddie 

I decided that - that night I was going to get my bible out and read it, and then Eddie may ask me what I am doing and I can share with him about God.

 Well, we got to camp 

and immediately we were practicing - out on the concrete parking lot going over our marching show…

Dinner came late that night and by the time I showered and got to bed, I completely forgot to read my bible and fell asleep - 

Missed opportunity

I woke up in the morning feeling the burden - tell Eddie about it tonight.

OK - 

The day was hot!!! I remember that when the Afternoon Lousisianer rain come through at the exact time it always does - 330pm - we didn’t get off the concrete field, everyone cheered and just stood there getting soaked…

That night we had some activities and again, it was LATE when we got to our room and we chatted across the room and both just fell asleep…

 This happened again the next night and now we are going into Thursday morning… I knew I needed to say something to him that night because the next night was the dance and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to say something then….

So - I determined all day that I was going To tell Eddie about my walk with God no matter what…

I even told him at lunch that I wanted to talk to him about something that night… 

But at 330pm our director told us to pack our rooms up, we were going to head home early because there was another school there that was causing problems and we were not going to be part of that…

So we packed our stuff up and when we loaded up the buses, we were on different buses and my opportunity to share with Eddie was gone

Now, if I am going to share with all honesty what happened next, I would say that I would think of that voice telling me just a couple more times before it faded away and I went on with Life

The next few weeks I didn’t see Eddie cause it wasn’t school season yet and with that lack of seeing I went on with my life and that desire faded away

When school started back up - it was 90-nothing putting together our band show, our positions, our practices and we just went on with life until the unthinkable happened

 I remember showing up to school and walking into my AP English Class - miss Scotice and Eddie’s seat had a black ribbon on it. And our teacher was sitting at her desk just crying…

 What happened?

 Ms. Scotice - where is Eddie

What is happening?

She didn’t say anything - just motioned for me to sit in my seat - which was RIGHT next to this empty chair with a big black ribbon

My heart sunk

My chest felt heavy and I started crying

I knew - 

Eddie had died

What we learned during that class time was that Eddie had gone for a run on base near the 

the hospital where his dad worked, and a heart condition that he had since a kid that none of us knew about acted up and his heart stopped and he died

This 15-year-old kid was now dead

My friend and bandmate was dead

My roommate was gone

And…

It hit me with so much shame and guilt.

I hadn’t told him about Jesus

God had placed on me the responsibility to tell Eddie about Him

And I failed

And now Eddie’s blood was on my hands

Now, before everyone who loves me, or loves themselves and wants to take the responsibility off of us… I want you to suspend that for just another 10 minutes

What if Eddie didn’t know Christ

And I was eddies last chance to decide for christ

That God was speaking to me to share - and I missed it

Surely I wasn’t the only opportunity, right?

 I would assume with how loving God is that th4ere were many others

But, I won't know whether Eddie ever gave his heart to God

 It could be that when I talked to Eddie about God that he would have shared with me his amazing walk with God - but I will never know here on earth

 And that is my fault

Eddie died with my assignment never being complete

It says in Ezekiel 3: 16 And it came to pass at the end of seven days, that the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,

17 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.

Give them a warning from me!!!

I was given this assignment

18 When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at thine hand.

His blood I will require at thy hand…

Now - our role was to share with the wicked that they are not going down a p[ath that is going to help them!

 It ends in spiritual death

The wicked die IN his iniquity

19 Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turns not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

If we do share we are delivering our soul - we are keeping ourselves right before GOD!

20 Again, When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit iniquity, and I lay a stumbling-block before him, he shall die: because thou hast not given him a warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he hath done shall not be remembered; but his blood will I require at thine hand.

Same thing for a righteous man - and I know you all have heard me share about this - how we have a duty to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ to warn each other!!!

They will die in their sin - in other words again, they will die because of THEIR ACTIONS - but their blood is at our hand because we didn’t do our part!!

21 Nevertheless if thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul.

When God dsiredcrt3ed me to this passage soon after Eddie passed away, I was so convicted (I already was feeling down and shame) but now it shifted - to conviction. IN stead of shame, it became a NEED inside of me to never let that happen again

Never to hear the voice of the Lord and ignore it, delay it…

Can I say that I have never - nope, I still need the mercy of the Lord like David shares in the psalm - that I want to be like the green olive tree planted in the house of the lord, where his mercies are daily poured on me!!!

I need the mercy of The Lord

I think we ALL need the Mercy of the Lord

And… if I am completely honest about this - I still carry this weight of Eddie - every podcast that I do, I remember the day that I heard that Eddie had passed and how I left my role in his life, how I ignored the stirring of the Spirit

 But now instead of it being a weight like I yoked to sin and shame, no, it is a shared yoke with the Lord

 That I will be the kind of leader that LISTENS to the LORD and chooses to do the hard things instead of acting like MAYBE it was pizza and not the LORD

So many stories of arguing with God and this story popping back in my mind. 

 I pray that this is a reminder to us all

If salvation was the end of our call, we would all disappear the moment that Jesus came into our hearts

No - we are the light to a dark world

We are the hope of the world, the hands, and feet of a loving savior who wants the entire population to know HIM as Lord that none would perish…

 Who is in your life that God has placed as an assignment?

 Are you at a place where you can hear HIS voice about them, about their situation, about your role

 And if you are at a place spiritually - are you listening. 

 Are you turning your spiritual antennae to listen to what THE LORD is saying?

 Over the years I have been challenged in this between my first mentor who would stand beside me on the platform whole people were getting a minister to and ask me - do you feel that? What do you feel?

 Ben, start to associate that with what you see in the spirit happening… that is how God is speaking to you!!!

To those moments when Nili would challenge me to seek the Lord before every staff meeting, to pray for 5 minutes before every counseling or coaching appointment. Something that I carry still today - to just stop and make sure that my ultimate assignment is being at the front of my eyes. Not the coaching, but am I being attentive to the Holy Spirit

 Am I going into every action today with the intent of hearing the voice of God to my LIFE assignment?

See, that is why I believe that REAL leadership in is everyday

Every day you are striving to be at least one step ahead,

 at least one experience in front of those you have been given the gift of leading

. It’s not a matter of being the BEST, or 

It is not a badge

It is not even being the brightest,

Or even getting it right all the time…

BUT IT IS about having the courage to lead  

Because it takes commitment, 

It takes persistence and 

It takes patient (for others and yourself)

But above all of that - it takes an everyday God experience 

I'm Benjamin Stewart

And until next time

Go lead from the edge

Your Every Day God Experience