I feel like the only issue we have with reaching a goal sits within our effort...

I know that can feel a little unfair - but with all the times I have seen persistence win, or perseverance, or patience win the day... Could it be that we are giving ourselves too much "room" for failure?

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SHOW NOTES

Before I begin I want to share a testimony and an apology 

I have been absent for the past month getting ready for our first camp… and it was amazing!!!

I will be putting a video together, but let me say that the families that were here had such an encounter with the Lord that we believe it will forever be a part of their lives!

Todays leadership podcast is titled…

Do or do not - there is no try

I am not a big Star Wars guy

LOVE Star Trek - shout out to my dad on that one

But there is a figure in the Star Wars saga of a teacher, a creature that teaches the young Luke Skywalker how to use the fullness of his abilities… and in this particular scene, Luke says that he can’t do something (that Yoda the teacher KNOWS he can)… Actually Luke says Alright - I will give it a try

Yoda says no… try NOT

Do or do not, there is no try….

That is the theme of todays session on leadership

I have been blessed to group coach an amazing set of young men at the church over the last few months.  When I say amazing, I mean young men who WANT to honor God, become better men and prepare for Gods future for them.  These guys sacrifice half a day a month to learn about how to be a purposeful, godly man and they seem to enjoy it

Ha ha 

In these meeting we are talking about a LOT of things from knowing themeselvws and how God designed them 

To knowing WHO God has placed in ther lives and their responsibilities to them

Even into discipleship and discipline 

But we hit the wall on something as a group concerning discipline 

It’s a wall that is super common among men - 

prob common amount  everyone

The wall is the space between what we want to do 

and what we actually do!

Paul writes it this way

Romans 7:15

For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I..

IN other words

The things I want to do - I don’t

The things I don’t want to do - I find myself doing

When Paul writes this - we can feel his pain!

We know that feeling of doing what we don’t want to do, abd not doing what we know to do!

But I feel like we make the words of Paul a get out of jail free card. 

Paul wasn’t declaring surrender or defeat, it was voicing what is likely the biggest battle that we will face.  

Doing what we know to do

When we look at the life of Paul, there were many things that he obviously overcame - 

denying the flesh, 

living a life of servantude to the Lord

Sacrificing his life for the call

But as Christians - well we play around with sin.  

Instead of “warring” against our flesh or our desires... we accept them.  

Or worse - we just “try” to change them 

Why do I use the word Try

Well that is where I realized the wall that these young men were hitting.  

And it’s not unique to them

We all use this word... try

So in one of my charges I shared 

that spending time with the Lord on a daily basis 

is the FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT step of a 

foundational walk with the Lord.  

That at the minimum they should be having a daily walk with the Lord - r

eading the word, 

praying and listening to the Holy Sporit.

When we went around the room to declare our actions steps 

I heard several say “I’m going to try to wad my Bible everyday”...

And it hit me

I “try” a lot of things

I try to lose weight 

I try to eat healthy 

I try to be a good example to my kids

I try to love my wife the way Christ would

And in all those areas I have accepted a “failure” rate 

or at Best the 

“good enough level”

I mean why is that? 

Why is it that we give ourselves safeties -

I will only have Taco Bell once a week

My wife just made a decision that blows me away - 

Not going to tell you what it is - but it reminds me of the promise I made Years ago that I wasn’t going to have Taco Bell for a whole year.

But New Years eve I picked up Taco Bell and ate it after midnight

Seriously

It’s like we don’t want to look at ourselves in the mirror and consider ourselves failures 

Of anything that we attempt to do that we don’t get it done completely. 

So instead of seeing a failure, we avoid it by throwing the word try in there.

But let me give you some of the dangers of the word try

What I have found is that when we live a life of “try“ we’re never fully satisfied with our attempts 

we never get the best or the most out of our failed attempts 

we never get to fully celebrate when we win 

and we never truly mourn our loses…

But why are those things so important us

why is it important to feel accomplished 

why is it so important to recognize a failure and not avoid it?

 why is it so important to celebrate a win?

Let’s break those areas down like this…

What does trying cost me. 

1- prevents growth from failure

Let’s read what the apostle Paul what’s

2 Corinthians Chapter 12

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Think about it what is Paul saying here? He say that he takes pleasure in his failures 

he takes pleasure in realizing when we are weak - 

God is made strong in his mistakes. 

Can I tell you the power of realizing that!

I used to talk about this as removing the destructive power of failure 

but it’s really not removing the destructive power failure 

it is harnessing the power of failure 

what I meant by removing the power failure in times past 

is the power of our emotional distress and failure. 

But we have to realize just like fear is perverted faith 

what I mean by that is that fear is simply putting more faith in what you are concerned or are afraid would happen 

versus what God says and what God‘s Word says about the situation. 

It’s the same way with failure!

You can choose to be empowered through failure or to live in fear. And when you remove the power of failure - or I should say the fear of failing 

and instead realize the empowerment of failing 

then you look forward to every situation no matter the outcome.

And that’s a tough statement

Notice I didn’t say I look forward to the opportunityof every situation

Im still learning this as well

And if I’m speaking to leaders that I think I am – 

I know that feeling that failure is not an option. 

And I am trying to - I am SHARING this interesting cycle

When we see that failure is not an option, we tend to lower the goal

Instead of giving our all and letting failure be a process!

When we say we’re going to try we are literally literally literally giving our self the very option that we don’t want to give ourselves. 

We’re afraid of failing but we’re making room to be ok with failing…

Because here’s what happens when we give ourselves room to fail. 

We don’t give our best effort. 

Because once we bring in the word try into our goals

we have told ourselves in our mindset the fro Ne-Yo of our thoughts that’s the biblical word for the seat of our motions 

Actually its Psyche - sorry - the seat of our emotion, and Phrone is the seat of our THINKING… so 

Both

WHEN WE DO THIS - WE ARE SAYING

IN OUR MIND AND OUR EMOTIONS 

 we are likely not going to accomplish this and we are too afraid to hold ourselves accountable to giving our best effort

Why? Because should we feel FAIURE - WE ILL THEN then we’re not good enough —— BELIEVING A lie of the enemy

point 2

Trying prevents growth from success

 Not only does it rob us from learning from our failures

It prevents us from learning from our success!

I know this one seems weird but hang on with me 

let’s keep talking about our emotional mindset when we put the word trying into our goals

We put this word trying we succeed accidentally. 

Or we succeed at goals that are not satisfying

That didn’t require hard work

What do I mean by that? 

When we try something with part of our effort, with some reserve, with something left in the tank – than what we succeed at is only a portion of what we were capable of doing.

The word of God tells us that this is not the wya to LIVE!

Sticking with the Pual Theme here

He writes tot he church of Colossians

Colossians 3:23-24

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

 In the world of business coaching we aim for 90

Daily goals that stretch them 

Its what they feel like they can accomplish along with all the other things that they need to do. 

And I’m gonna be honest with you when a company comes back and hits 100% of their goals I’m disappointed.

Why? 

Because that means that we set goals that we knew we could accomplish. 

Now, that is a blanket statement and there are definitely times when it took all of the effort to get 100% of the goals done. 

But what I’m referring to I really want us to be somewhere between 80% and 90% of her goals reached. Why? 

Because that means that we pushed ourselves to the limit. 

We gave our best effort and we got most of our goals done. 

And! It gives us the room to grow!

We literally have examples of areas that we didn’t succeed so that we can analyze them look at them work on them and grow from them!

There’s nothing more disappointing than accomplishing the goals and learning nothing in the process. 

So when we put tri-into our goalsetting we don’t get the full benefit of celebrating our success. 

Because on the inside of us we know we could have done better!

In the Old Testament the priest would atone for sins through two animals.  The sacrificial lamb and the scapegoat. 

I want to challenge you

Sit down and write down ONE goal

One goal for the next 3 days, or the next week or til the end of the month.

Make it something that will require you to GROW in order to succeed - and Then I want you to write It out

Here is mine -

I will exercise 3 days a week til the end of June (at the gym)and my daily 1.5 mile walk with my wife doesn’t count…

Here is another one of mine…

I will complete my new Kingdom Business Mastergroup strategy - by the end of June… Including all the roadmaps, sheets, pages and launch ready status. 

There is no try…

I've been questions about what happened 30 years ago that made me want to change my life?

Want to know more… Check it out!

OR want the show notes... 

Just scroll down!

Listen on Spotify

Or iTunes

or Youtube

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net

SHOW NOTES

 Its been 30 years

And for my friends the Stevens family

Its been 1 582 weeks

30 years of saying yes to the passion that God has placed on the inside of me to lead

See - its a journey of leading others to find their God-given purpose  

And because of that - you have this feeling on the inside - 

that it is our leadership responsibility to do eve tying in our power to help 

Others achieve their God-given purpose

You know - this week I want to do some explain why I say it been 30- years

I get asked this several times, about why I look at a specific date…

I can’t say that I started logging the time at that date, but I will say that when I look back in my life at an event that shook me

An event that made me look at myself in the way of being responsible for the gift that God has given me and the people that He has put around me.

I have to go back to my sophomore year of High School

In a little town in Louisiana - Leesville

Good of LHS and the amazing wampums cats!~

I moved to Louisiana when I was in 8th grace and decided that summer before (when we spent two weeks in Wst Virginia while dad was getting everything ready) that is as going to be a trumpet player

I LOVED jazz and blues type music and wanted to learn something

My aunt Kathy had been a trumpet player and she had given my parents an old ambassador trumpet that they had redone for me right before we left Germany. 

 I remember sitting on the driveway at my grandmamma's house and playing - I am sure it was difficult for the neighbors as well as my mom - but hey, I was a budding star!!! 

When we got to Louisiana I didn’t fit it - I’m a military kid at a public school that must be moved from Europe where culture is different AND I’m a Christian by faith that wants to be a Christian… 

 So, my only place that I found that I fit in was the band!!! And let me tell you - I loved the band - it was my place to connect and grow and belong

There was this one particular guy (who was better than me - at the time) who was in that band who also played trumpet that we started getting along pretty good - his name was Eddie Garcia 

 Over the next 1.5 years rest of 8th grade and all of 9th grade

He and I worked our way up thr0ugh the ranks of trumpet players 

We would challenge each other for first chair positions

We would challenge each other 

and our abilities to the point that we were both in the symphonic band at LHS almost immediately - as a freshman.

So here we are in 2nd row 1st and 2nd 

position behind all the better juniors and seniors - but we were on the team!

Fast forward into the summer right before our sophomore year - we are loading up to go to band camp (2 weeks of marching practice and song development ) and Eddie and I determine that we are going to room together! We both loved music

Leading up to band camp I had a summer where I started working on. My walk with God

I was blessed, I saw my parents every day spend time with God - they had Bible studies all the time at the house, opened our home for people to come and grow in their walk with God - it was very special to 

use and it was something that I wanted to do - I wanted to be close to God

So I started reading my bible 

everyday

I started praying more and asking God about what I should be doing in the future… 

In short - I had started having my relationship with God

Not only that - I remember hearing from our church that I needed to be spending more time telling people about my walk 

with God

What if there is something this important to me, I should make it part of my 

friend lives. We took my sister to a youth conference and I r3emeber seeing her being more about God too - so, it was like - I need to do this

So back to our story...

We are on the bus to go 

to camp and for what I remember as being the first time in my life I felt like God was talking to me. I felt this voice behind my ear saying - Ben, tell Eddie about me… 

I was excited, scared, afraid of rejection, but super stoked at the same time to share God with Eddie 

I decided that - that night I was going to get my bible out and read it, and then Eddie may ask me what I am doing and I can share with him about God.

 Well, we got to camp 

and immediately we were practicing - out on the concrete parking lot going over our marching show…

Dinner came late that night and by the time I showered and got to bed, I completely forgot to read my bible and fell asleep - 

Missed opportunity

I woke up in the morning feeling the burden - tell Eddie about it tonight.

OK - 

The day was hot!!! I remember that when the Afternoon Lousisianer rain come through at the exact time it always does - 330pm - we didn’t get off the concrete field, everyone cheered and just stood there getting soaked…

That night we had some activities and again, it was LATE when we got to our room and we chatted across the room and both just fell asleep…

 This happened again the next night and now we are going into Thursday morning… I knew I needed to say something to him that night because the next night was the dance and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to say something then….

So - I determined all day that I was going To tell Eddie about my walk with God no matter what…

I even told him at lunch that I wanted to talk to him about something that night… 

But at 330pm our director told us to pack our rooms up, we were going to head home early because there was another school there that was causing problems and we were not going to be part of that…

So we packed our stuff up and when we loaded up the buses, we were on different buses and my opportunity to share with Eddie was gone

Now, if I am going to share with all honesty what happened next, I would say that I would think of that voice telling me just a couple more times before it faded away and I went on with Life

The next few weeks I didn’t see Eddie cause it wasn’t school season yet and with that lack of seeing I went on with my life and that desire faded away

When school started back up - it was 90-nothing putting together our band show, our positions, our practices and we just went on with life until the unthinkable happened

 I remember showing up to school and walking into my AP English Class - miss Scotice and Eddie’s seat had a black ribbon on it. And our teacher was sitting at her desk just crying…

 What happened?

 Ms. Scotice - where is Eddie

What is happening?

She didn’t say anything - just motioned for me to sit in my seat - which was RIGHT next to this empty chair with a big black ribbon

My heart sunk

My chest felt heavy and I started crying

I knew - 

Eddie had died

What we learned during that class time was that Eddie had gone for a run on base near the 

the hospital where his dad worked, and a heart condition that he had since a kid that none of us knew about acted up and his heart stopped and he died

This 15-year-old kid was now dead

My friend and bandmate was dead

My roommate was gone

And…

It hit me with so much shame and guilt.

I hadn’t told him about Jesus

God had placed on me the responsibility to tell Eddie about Him

And I failed

And now Eddie’s blood was on my hands

Now, before everyone who loves me, or loves themselves and wants to take the responsibility off of us… I want you to suspend that for just another 10 minutes

What if Eddie didn’t know Christ

And I was eddies last chance to decide for christ

That God was speaking to me to share - and I missed it

Surely I wasn’t the only opportunity, right?

 I would assume with how loving God is that th4ere were many others

But, I won't know whether Eddie ever gave his heart to God

 It could be that when I talked to Eddie about God that he would have shared with me his amazing walk with God - but I will never know here on earth

 And that is my fault

Eddie died with my assignment never being complete

It says in Ezekiel 3: 16 And it came to pass at the end of seven days, that the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,

17 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.

Give them a warning from me!!!

I was given this assignment

18 When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at thine hand.

His blood I will require at thy hand…

Now - our role was to share with the wicked that they are not going down a p[ath that is going to help them!

 It ends in spiritual death

The wicked die IN his iniquity

19 Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turns not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

If we do share we are delivering our soul - we are keeping ourselves right before GOD!

20 Again, When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit iniquity, and I lay a stumbling-block before him, he shall die: because thou hast not given him a warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he hath done shall not be remembered; but his blood will I require at thine hand.

Same thing for a righteous man - and I know you all have heard me share about this - how we have a duty to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ to warn each other!!!

They will die in their sin - in other words again, they will die because of THEIR ACTIONS - but their blood is at our hand because we didn’t do our part!!

21 Nevertheless if thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul.

When God dsiredcrt3ed me to this passage soon after Eddie passed away, I was so convicted (I already was feeling down and shame) but now it shifted - to conviction. IN stead of shame, it became a NEED inside of me to never let that happen again

Never to hear the voice of the Lord and ignore it, delay it…

Can I say that I have never - nope, I still need the mercy of the Lord like David shares in the psalm - that I want to be like the green olive tree planted in the house of the lord, where his mercies are daily poured on me!!!

I need the mercy of The Lord

I think we ALL need the Mercy of the Lord

And… if I am completely honest about this - I still carry this weight of Eddie - every podcast that I do, I remember the day that I heard that Eddie had passed and how I left my role in his life, how I ignored the stirring of the Spirit

 But now instead of it being a weight like I yoked to sin and shame, no, it is a shared yoke with the Lord

 That I will be the kind of leader that LISTENS to the LORD and chooses to do the hard things instead of acting like MAYBE it was pizza and not the LORD

So many stories of arguing with God and this story popping back in my mind. 

 I pray that this is a reminder to us all

If salvation was the end of our call, we would all disappear the moment that Jesus came into our hearts

No - we are the light to a dark world

We are the hope of the world, the hands, and feet of a loving savior who wants the entire population to know HIM as Lord that none would perish…

 Who is in your life that God has placed as an assignment?

 Are you at a place where you can hear HIS voice about them, about their situation, about your role

 And if you are at a place spiritually - are you listening. 

 Are you turning your spiritual antennae to listen to what THE LORD is saying?

 Over the years I have been challenged in this between my first mentor who would stand beside me on the platform whole people were getting a minister to and ask me - do you feel that? What do you feel?

 Ben, start to associate that with what you see in the spirit happening… that is how God is speaking to you!!!

To those moments when Nili would challenge me to seek the Lord before every staff meeting, to pray for 5 minutes before every counseling or coaching appointment. Something that I carry still today - to just stop and make sure that my ultimate assignment is being at the front of my eyes. Not the coaching, but am I being attentive to the Holy Spirit

 Am I going into every action today with the intent of hearing the voice of God to my LIFE assignment?

See, that is why I believe that REAL leadership in is everyday

Every day you are striving to be at least one step ahead,

 at least one experience in front of those you have been given the gift of leading

. It’s not a matter of being the BEST, or 

It is not a badge

It is not even being the brightest,

Or even getting it right all the time…

BUT IT IS about having the courage to lead  

Because it takes commitment, 

It takes persistence and 

It takes patient (for others and yourself)

But above all of that - it takes an everyday God experience 

I'm Benjamin Stewart

And until next time

Go lead from the edge

Your Every Day God Experience 

Why do you do what you do?

Are you feeling like you are still in the same place you were 10 years ago?

Today we are diving into the NUMBER 1 reason why we make bad decisions and get frustrated... we lose sight of our PURPOSE!

Want to know more… Check it out!

OR want the show notes... 

Just scroll down!

Listen on Spotify

Or iTunes

or Youtube

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net

Good morning, afternoon, or evening - if you listen to podcasts as I do… 

I wanted to take a quick tangent on my podcasts to share a little about why we do what we do…

 Now, this podcast is all about how we develop the best versions of ourselves so that we can live out our faith and our leadership to its highest place!

So that we can truly be responsible for those that God has given us charge over, or the opportunity to serve

 That goes for pastors, that goes for fathers, that goes for business leaders or new entrepreneurs as well!

But today - I want to talk about your why…

Too often we set goals, we set up dreams but we don’t take the time to connect our “why” to our actions, our goals, our jobs, our leading opportunities.

Have you stopped to pray about what motivates you?

 Why do you work 40-70 hours a week

 Is it so that you did a good job

 Is it so that you provided jobs for your employees

Is it so that you can have 2 days off on the weekend?

 Why is it that you do what you do?

 What truly motivates you?

 Now - because my faith is what drives me

Let's read Matthew 20:

20 Then came to him the mother of Zebedees children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him.

21 And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.

22 But Jesus answered and said, Ye, know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.

23 And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.

24 And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.

25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye, know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.

26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;

27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:

28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

think about what is going on - all these guys are following Jesus, still unrenewed and all of a sudden there is the possibility that two of them are going to be elevated - - what??>

 And they got their mom to ask… that’s a low blow right?

 Well - this story is when we find the reason why Jesus came - we found out his WHY!!!

This WHY is what drives him to do what he came here to do!

To minister and to give his life as a ransom for many…

What did you come for?

Why are you here and have you taken the time to find out?

 When I think about why I am on this planet - I get excited, confused, and overwhelmed at the same time…

 I am on this planet to encourage people to become a better, more dogly version of God's plan for their life.

 It has been that since I started operating in relationships with Others

It is why I raise my kids the way that I raise them

It is why every business idea I have, has to be centered around that purpose… 

I guess that is another word we could use instead of WHY

Purpose…

 So - do you know your purpose?

 I will tell you - it doesn’t come easy

And it isn’t a 20 question survey to find your purpose…

 No this one comes through prayer and seeking the Lord

So I am not going to have 3 points on how to find your purpose… 

BUT I am going to tell you three things KNOWING your purpose will do for your life and others!

1 - It is your litmus test - when you know why you exist, then when opportunities, jobs, ministry, locations, moves, purchases come top… you can take your purpose and ask… does this line up with that? My purpose is to passionately pursue God by silently serving-man …. Did you know that I am not a pastor of a mega church>? Could I be>? Yes, I believe I Could be - I believe that if I were to start a church that it would grow quickly and it would become as large as we wanted it to be - BUT that is not my call and that is not my role. There is a reason why I have moved from being a pastor…

When you know your purpose - when the GHolyt Spirit has revealed this to you- then you have the perfect litmus test. 

 Litmus paper stained with litmus is used to indicate the acidity or alkalinity of a substance. So that when a liquid comes into contact with it - you can know its alkalinity or acidity… 

In your life - when you have your purpose established then you can line it up to everything and ask… does this fit in>?

 2 - Your purpose is your drive - - - if you want to be the strongest - operate in your purpose. You want to have the most energy - operate in your purpose. Want to provide the best for your family and your community - figure out how to operate in your purpose. I know for some listening that may sound irresponsible BUT, my reply back is… how long do you want to live misearble>. 

 Why do we think we feel unfulfilled in our 9-5 jobs? 

 Could it be that no matter where you go you will have difficult people to work with, difficult responsibilities, difficult circumstances? I say yes - it is not only possible - it is likely that the problems you are facing are common to man! 

That means that we need to rethink why we are there.

Sometimes I can do the same job, but with my purpose in front of me all of a sudden, the same job becomes a part of my journey. I can pull the most from my situation when I have my purpose in front of me! 

 I believe that living in our purpose is the best version of our lives. It is the reason why we have a part in our family visi0on weekends where we walk through what each kid in the family brings to the family. Why is your 3rd child a little quirky and think outside of the box./. Why is your first child more of a dominant type and your 4th child is quiet? 

 For each of your family members, there is a purpose - a God-given purpose on the inside them, and there is a purpose for them to be in your family. But we have to find that, encourage that, and give room for that.

 Now when we are facing an obstacle, we have identified who in our family is the best for helping us through it… those who have disciple, but Also our out-of-the-box thinker!!!  

So - use your purpose as a litmus test, use your purpose as your drive

And lastly - keep your purpose in front of your eyes~!

 I can imagine that Jesus had his purpose figured out at the age of 12…

I think that He figured out that He was different and that His life call was amazing

 I know some of you are probably thinking that I am off on my interpretation of the Bible - I just believe that he was all god and all man. And I believe that he was tempted in every area - even in knowing his Call on his life…

 But moving on - our third point in walking out our purpose…

Keep it in front of you

To make decisi0ons about your purpose - you need to keep ut in front of you. WE have been talking about trusting God in our circumstances, the past few podcasts, but this piece is critical to being able to do that. When we know our purpose, then we can look at our situations and line it up and ask… how does this bring life to my purpose. 

 Write it down, keep it in front of you!

 I have my purpose in the signature of my emails

I have since 2005 when I discovered my purpose…

Can't say that I have always made decisions based on it - sometimes I wanted to move things into more of a spotlight on me… 

But then when I found myself back in the presence of God I would be reminded that my role is to passionately uprise God while silently serving-man!  

So what is your purpose?

 What are you doing to know your purpose?

 Can I challenge you to take time this week to seek the Lord to KNOW your purpose?

  Maybe fast a meal - maybe stay up late one night and just spend time with God and have him begin to stir in you the unique reason why he chooses YOU! 

 What I do know is that HE did choose YOU!

 You - selected you, positioned you - now be the best version of it - 

Not the perfect version but the ever learning version

 Because leadership in my onion means that every day you strive to be at least one step ahead,

 at least one experience in front of those you have been given the gift of leading

. It’s not a matter of being the BEST, or 

It is not a badge

It is not even being the brightest,

 it is about having the courage to lead  

It takes commitment, persistence, and patient

And it takes an everyday God experience 

I'm Benjamin Stewart

And until next time

Go lead from the edge 

King James makes this weeks message kind of funny off the tongue - But you can figure that one out.  What I know is that all to often we blame the horse we are riding, the job we have, the unsaved boss, the poor performing employee, our spouse, our kids, even ourselves for things that are simply GOD trying to work on US!  This week, is kind of a part two from last week - talking about when Balaam beat his ass because she wouldn't go where he wanted to go....

Want to know more… Check it out!

OR want the show notes... 

Just scroll down!

Listen on Spotify

Or iTunes

or Youtube

Stitcher:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net

SHOW NOTES

 Its been 30 years

30 years of saying yes to the passion that God has placed on the inside of me to lead

See - its a journey of leading others to find their God-given purpose  

And because of that - you have this feeling on the inside - 

that it is our leadership responsibility to do eve tying in our power to help 

Others achieve their God-given purpose

Good morning, afternoon, or evening - this week was going to be a completely different direction, but after last week - I think we are going to go into part 2 of the Journey

How we approach life and issues will determine our outcome…

I was confronted with what we did “right”: last week almost immediately… 

I’ve got another story for you - - - 

 And this time I am going to brag on my kids again…

I have been reading in Numbers and was reminded yesterday about a situation with Balak and Balaam… 

Let's read it together

Go to Numbers 22

In this passage, we have a kingdom that is scared of the Nation of Israel and we have a couple of characters in this - the son of the King of the Moabites, Balak and we have Balaam the prophet (some even call him a wicked prophet) - but a prophet none the less

 The back story to what we are going to read is that in their fear the Moabites are wanting Balaam to come and speak a blessing from God over them as a people… Balaam doesn’t want to do this because God told him not to

But they go back and forth and at one point - eventually, Balaam agrees to go with Balak

BUT - - - 

22 Then God’s anger was aroused because he went, and the Angel of the Lord took His stand in the way as an adversary against him. And he was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 Now the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand, and the donkey turned aside out of the way and went into the field. So Balaam struck the donkey to turn her back onto the road. 

24 Then the Angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on this side and a wall on that side. 25 And when the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord, she pushed herself against the wall and crushed Balaam’s foot against the wall; so he struck her again. 

26 Then the Angel of the Lord went further and stood in a narrow place where there was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left. 27 And when the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam; so Balaam’s anger was aroused, and he struck the donkey with his staff.

28 Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?”

29 And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have [e]abused me. I wish there were a sword in my hand, for now, I would kill you!”

30 So the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey on which you have ridden, ever since I became yours, to this day? Was I ever [f]disposed to do this to you?”

And he said, “No.”

31 Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand, and he bowed his head and fell flat on his face. 32 And the Angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out [g]to stand against you because your way is perverse[h] before Me. 33 The donkey saw Me and turned aside from Me these three times. If she had not turned aside from Me, surely I would also have killed you by now, and let her live.”

34 And Balaam said to the Angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know You stood in the way against me. Now, therefore, if it [i]displeases You, I will turn back.”

Now there are some fun things we can say about this story - but I want to bring out a few points about this. Last week I shared about how sometimes we go through things because they are part of our journey - not because it is something bad. Sometimes we call things bad that are God working in our lives… it may feel bad for the moment, but in fact, it is part of our journey. 

Here is Balaam 

Going somewhere and God sends an angel (unseen to Balaam) to stop him

God wants to teach Balaam something important so God gets in the way of Balaam, but still gives Balaam the answer - just through a donkey - a place where Balaam didn’t expect…

Keeping that in mind - I want to share a story of what we went through last week

So Thursday we brought the two oldest girls and two of the horses to the saddle club property (about 6 miles from our place ) to work with their horses. They spent the afternoon doing whatever it is that they do with their horses and I went back to our property to work on some projects getting ready for our family vision camps…

 At some 4 pm, I head back to the property to drive the truck back and my oldest was still loading her mustang into the trailer. So I sat in the car for a little bit, but that little bit turned into an hour, then 2 hours, then 4 hours…

Still trying to load her horse into the trailer

It was getting cold, 

It was getting dark…

I would go out there and offer to help or stand out there for moral support…

But nothing was working

Now for some of you who know horses, there are several ways to do this

One of which is to force the animal onto the trailer… 

This is probably the way that I would do it, but I know that my daughter is working hard with this mustang.

Not only that, it is part of her journey and the horses' journey.  

She has worked hard on this bond with the horse and has stuck with the training that she has been doing in natural horsemanship. 

 But here we are, it is now 945 and we have been loading this horse for almost 6 hours!

I was struggling too

Not because I was tired of the horse not loading - but I could see my daughter facing a lot of things

Emotions, cold, tired, hungry…

But most difficult was watching the young lady who has been correct, right, perfect, overachiever - hitting a wall. It was a hard wall.. and I know that she probably was questioning everything she was doing… 

Plus she was failing… 

She was facing the pressures of her dad sitting out there for 6 hours

The fact that we can’t leave the horse on the property overnight alone

So many pressures for a 19-year-old to face with the standard of all that she has work3ed with this horse to build in trust and development

 Mind you - this horse was wild for 9 years of its life, and it has only been with Ellie for 4 months…

Ellies decision to not push her horse further than what was in line with her training was costing her and it was costing me, and it was costing the family - and there was no solution sight…

Yet, there was peace in me as a dad (even in my heartbreaking for her_) that God was working this for her.

 That God was allowing her to face failure, face a new level of frustration, face a new need for dependence on others… This was probably a nightmare for her!

God was sending an angel to block her way - without her seeing that it was God

She was pushing to get her horse to do what she was wanting (not striking like Balaam) but there was a bigger thing happening to her - God was working in her the fears of her life

Failing

Not being enough

And having to depend on others…

 What a lesson that was taking place

 Not only that when I called her back into the truck she had to then walk through how to solve

And if you know me - I didn’t just come in a rescue - I wanted her to use this opportunity in the middle of all those emotions to be able to think rationally about all the resources

Through discussion, we figured out a plan

We would build a small round pen around the trailer right there on the property

Go back to the camp and pick up the RV and we would stay the night at the saddle club to allow her horse to calm down and then work with her to load in the morning or all day if needed.

I couldn’t help but think of how God used the situation with Balaam to not only still work His will of blessing Israel and influencing the Moabites - but God worked in Balaam as well. 

 Normally at this point in the podcast, I break down a few points or take-homes of the situation - but today I want to do this a little differently. I want to share some insights that may help you in the middle of your situation - call them questions instead of points?

 Are allowing God to work on what HE wants to work on? One of the ways that God chooses to work on us is to see un into situations that expose our greatest fears, our greatest areas of not being surrendered to trusting HIM. Because it Is when we are facing our fears, that breakthrough happens. And in those moments - God gets to work on what he wants. I remember a dream I had where I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room. I had major stomach pain and I went to the front desk and asked for an appointment and they said gave me some dates to choose from - and instead of choosing the first date available, I put it off. Then in the next scene in this dream, I found myself sitting across the desk from the doctor - and he told me I had some conditions with my intestines that gave me two options - I could go the medicine route and live a pretty normal life with flair ups and issues with certain foods, or I could have surgery and fix the problem… 

Then I was in the operating room looking down on the doctor working on me. I was watching when they were working on my intestine when all of a sudden there was an alarm and the doctor said - oh, we need to fix that and he did something up in my spleen area. 

 Then I woke up from the dream and asked God

What does that mean?

Well, the first place was me knowing I had a problem, but putting it off - going to the right person (God - or the doctor) but putting it off until a time when was convenient for me.

The second situation was me sitting and listening to the doctor as he gave me two options, medicate or fix it. And I think we often have this opportunity with God and Ellie had that opportunity - she could have avoided what God was working on by forcing her horse to load and shunting the growth opportunity. But in this dream, I had a choice

Then the last scene was me choosing to let God (doc) work on what he wants to work on…

And the awesome thing that happened was that when I surrendered to the doc, he worked on what we knew was wrong, but then when another thing happened, he didn’t wake me up to ask permission, he just did it 

 And when we surrender to God, He can do what we know he is working on, but he can also work on everything!

Are you allowing God to work on what He wants to work on?  

The next question

Are you sticking to what He told you?  

One of the most powerful things that happened is that when faced with her greatest fears (failure and dependency) Ellie denied the temptation to throw away what she was dedicated to - natural horsemanship. If only I showed that kind of consistency and stick-to-it-ness in my life when I have opposition. 

She knows who she is, and instead of taking a shortcut and forcing her horse (and in essence shorting what God was doing in her as well), she took the route that forced HER to face her fears of failing and of depending on others.  

Are you sticking to what he told you - in life, in family, in business? I think sometimes we give up right before our breakthrough…

Last question

Are you keeping your mind right? One of the areas that I was able to bring some help to the situation was to focus Ellie on still making the best decision. A lot of times we get stuck when w are facing major emotional pieces of ourselves- and we don't stop to just process what we need to do. We stopped in the truck and walked through all the scenarios of our options, from forcing the horse to load to Ellie sleeping in the trailer to getting the RV. So many times I have rushed a decision before really taking inventory of what resources I had and what would be the best for everyone involved… I would make a rash decision on what would have cost me and not anyone else. 

 I think My oldest has that same tendency - she would have probably just wanted to stay in the cold trailer and avoided needing me to do anything. BUT, that wasn’t what she needed to do so as we walked through the scenarios we came up with what I believe was the best! Which included her sister being with us, serving her older sister, and being a big help as well. 

 Here is the best part - I think God does this for us

I think He truly knows what we need the most - and it is often dependent on how much we can trust Him with the process

So, back to the horse story -

The next morning Her horse loaded within 20 minutes of her starting, but she didn’t leave for another hour as she was wanting to truly get her horse to want to load. 

 All ended well, and I think some fears were faced that will set her up for life

I know I learned a lot in the process and found myself having to trust God too!

So what is this podcast about 

Part two of last week - sometimes what you are going through is an opportunity to grow in Christ, be exposed, be freed from fears, succeed through failing… so maybe stop cursing the situation or the donkey that you are riding and ask God to open your eyes to see if HE is standing in the way!

As you take on your leading (whether as a parent, a pastor, or an employer) with your eyes fixed on God and not the situation… you got this!

 See Leadership in my opinion means that every day you strive to be at least one step ahead,

 at least one experience in front of those you have been given the gift of leading

. It’s not a matter of being the BEST, or 

It is not a badge

It is not even being the brightest,

 it is about having the courage to lead  

It takes commitment, persistence, and patient

And it takes an everyday God experience 

I'm Benjamin Stewart

And until next time

Go lead from the edge 

Ok - kind of a baiting title - but I don't think that I am the only one who questions when things go bad... What could I have done differently, what was God trying to teach me, is the enemy attacking?   But, one thing that I have been learning more and more is... the story is just unfinished...

B

Want to know more… Check it out!

OR want the show notes... 

Just scroll down!

Listen on Spotify

Or iTunes

or Youtube

Stitcher:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net

SHOW NOTES

This week I want to talk about something we did right.

I actually try to avoid that for some reason - always teaching from something that I have done wrong,

As if that is a better qualifier

When its really just my battle with not wanting to be prideful

Ha - so backward we can be!

Growing up charismatic in my faith, seeing all the name it and claim, prosperity messages, tongue talking the way of listening to the Holy Spirit - I’ve had to do some unlearning these past 2 years

Not that any of those things are wrong - and I know some that hear me say that may disagree with me…

But the unlearning that I am talking about is the fact that I had determined so much of my WALK by what I see…

And that God wants us to walk in the spirit and putting the right emphasis on the power of the Holy Spirit - the gift given to us by God himself on the departure of Jesus.. something to be celebrat3ed whether you believe in praying in tongues, prophecy or not… just simple the gift of the Holy Spirit

Not the tools that God gives us to live our lives

In other words, when I wasn’t walking in prosperity - that meant that I messed up, or that it was an attack of the enemy… and instead of battling my discontentment, I was battling  the wrong battle

I would trust in my faith and my ability

Dangerous territory

What am I saying

I think that as believers we have this NEED to know the value of what we are going through RIGHT NOW

We have to have an explanation RIGHT NOW

We start pulling from what WE KNOW, instead of leaning in and trusting God

We NEED to know right now

I need to explain this RIGHT NOW

I need answers RIGHT NOW

Maybe this is a process/

Did miss God when I took that job?

I'm stressed out

I'm losing my peace!

Is this YOU GOD?

And I feel like we take those moments and we turn to ourselves to explain..

At least I do!

I look at Ephesians 1:7 a little differently since I have been thinking through this

7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

We focus on forgiveness and grace… but what about redemption through the blood?

Matthew 20:18 - Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they shall condemn him to death,

Jesus is letting them know - hey so, here is how it's going to go with me

I am about to be delivered to the people and they are going to beat me till my last breath, mock me in front of everyone, stripped naked, then - they are going to give me a chunk of wood to walk and carry it to the place where I am going to be nailed to it and killed in front of the whole world

All because I am doing what I am supposed to do

All because this is part of God's plan for me and for you…

Can we think about that?

But I find hope in this that in Luke we hear Jesus talking to God about this situation

Luke 22:42 - saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.”

So, is Jesus saying Hey God, is this you?

Is he saying, Hey God, can we make this easier?

I think what we are learning in this Eason of our life is this

And please hear me - you have heard all of this before - but when do we LIVE IT???

1 - Not everything I think is bad, is bad…

Here is my story of what we got right

We have been remodeling the camp for our opening dates.

Let me stop and give a plug - if you have never invested in the goals, dreams, and God’s plan for your family - you need to really consider coming to our camp.  We are literally walking families through the experience of hearing from God for the reason why they are together as a family. 

Not that you will achieve perfection - we still argue, have strife moments in our family, but the expectation is in GODs plan and what each of us bring to the family

PLEASE _ PLEASE consider coming to ur camp for your family

We do this AT cost

And if you don’t like what you got - we will give you your money back

Ok - back to the story we have been remodeling up here and decided to find a furniture piece that would go into the cafeteria for books and supplies… well, I found the one and was pretty excited as it was “PERFECT” for what we needed. 

Pulled up, went, and looked at it - hmmm looks a little darker than what I thought

And it is a little larger than I thought…

But hey let's consider

I called Nili and we both felt like it was worth a shot

And I pray3ed about it - felt like it was a yes

We loaded it all up (5 pieces ) and drove back home

Sper excited I get it all unloaded and set up and then Nili is looking at it

And… she’s like, so, this is not going to work

Nili would feel pressure because I took the time and money to get something

I would feel pressure because I don’t like wasting time or money

We would both feel pressure because we would get frustrated that either of us either missed what God was saying, or we were making our own decision

In th3 past 0- this was huge potential to walk in bad thoughts and relationships

To get offended at each other

To be disappointed in me

Lots of options

I was like - hey I'll post it for sale online and let's just sell it

And Nili was like, it's all good - let's just see what happens

Wow - this was amazing

We were handling this like adults and TRUSTING GOD

Not sure God how this was good for us, but I know that I can learn

Am I to learn that I need to hear you better

Am I to learn that we can have bad decisions and we can get along through it?

This leads me to point number 2

Point number 1 is Not everything I think is BADS, is BAD

Number 2

2 - Not everything I see NOW is everything to be seen

Sometimes I think we rush to make judgment

So that WE have peace or direction - instead of relying on GOD

Jesus dealt with the NOW as if it was part of his journey

Yep - I think we can do that a LOT BETTER!

So we put the entertainment back on the Facebook marketplace and just trusted God

The next day someone comes out to see it and loves it for their remodeled

Asked if I could deliver it

Sure - I can deliver it - no problem…

So, instead of thinking that there is a loss I just leave it to the Lords's hands

We sell it to the person and the next day I load all of it up and we drive the 20 minutes to deliver the furniture

We get there and we unload it

And we unload it all

AND we make 20% on the sale

BUT it doesn’t stop there

My daughter and son get paid by the lady for working  (an unexpected blessing for them)

And then she asked me

Do you need kitchen cabinets we are remodeling and I don't need these particular cabinets? 

We purchased a $275 entrainment center that we couldn’t use

That we sold for $370 with Talia and Zion getting $10 each to help

Plus about $1500 in kitchen cabinets and stainless sink for a project that we hadn’t even asked God for provision for….

3 - I need to look more to Code than what I am seeing

I believe that in this situati0on - God was leading us the entire time

Does it makes sense to make a bad purchase and it be God>

But to ask HIM, get the, yes, and then immediately have the disappointment of it is the wrong item, to then selling it for a profit, and then to have my kids get blessed and complimented on their attitude of helping, and then to get blessed in an area that we aren’t even ready to do…

Looking to God instead of relying on what I am seeing…

That is the win!

But why do I share all of this?

There are going to be times in your leading life

Putting yourself out there to lead others

That you are going to make decisions that look like a failure

But the story is still unwritten

Could it have been a wrong decision, yes or maybe no

But that isn’t what the end is about -

It is about the journey and how amazingly God works for our good

Not just ou financial good

But our health, spiritual growth, relationships, finances, peace, the fruit of the spirit

EVERYTHING

And when we stop thinking everything that goes wrong is Bad, or that we have all the information of the situation, or that we should be looking to what it LOOKS like right now as a determiner of our emotions or strength… We are likely, missing God’s best

And.. if Jesus needed to go to God… well, you probably need to also!

Because that what leade3rship is about

It is about being one step ahead

You know that person who really has no business giving you advice... but its good advice?

I remember when a pastor/mentor would say that you find out what’s inside of you when you are thrown against the wall.  This week’s podcast has a bit of transparency about how I handled the chaos of -7 degree weather, 20 inches of snow and being without power on the mountain…. Come on in!

B

Want to know more… Check it out!

OR want the show notes... 

Just scroll down!

Listen on Spotify

Or iTunes

or Youtube

Stitcher:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net

SHOW NOTES

Snow, Pipes, and what I learned about myself…

I remember when a pastor/mentor would say that you find out what’s inside of you when you are thrown against the wall. This week’s podcast has a bit of transparency about how I handled the chaos of -7 degree weather, 20 inches of snow, and being without power on the mountain…. Come on in!

B

 So this is one of those podcasts where you get to see how unpolished and still growing I am. Transparency alert…

I was reading in Exodus with our family reading through the bible in a year… 

So, as a leader who loves to teach leadership, I have forever been drawn to the passage in Exodus 18

5 And Jethro, Moses' father in law, came with his sons and his wife unto Moses into the wilderness, where he encamped at the mount of God:

6 And he said unto Moses, I thy father in law Jethro have come unto thee, and thy wife, and her two sons with her.

7 And Moses went out to meet his father in law

They meet, Moses tells his father in law all that had happened, pharaoh, Israel fleeing, the wilderness, the fire - everything…

9 And Jethro rejoiced for all the goodness

Then Jethro sacrifices to the Lord

Now we go to verse 

13 And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening.

I love this passage next because it stood out to me in a BIG way!

Set the stage here

Moses has been gone for years…

Jethro is an idolatry worshipper…

But there is a conversion that takes place... and then… 

The NEXT DAY

 Moses Father in law - who hasn’t led the nati0on of Israel out of Egypt, hasn’t suffered through plagues and persecution, hasn’t been chased by the armies of Pharaoh, hasn’t had to leave in the night,…. 

He comes and watches Moses and says…

14 And when Moses' father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?

Moses explains… but no one else can do it

I have to hear from God for leading them...

15 And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to enquire of God:

16 When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.

Jethro says, umm - nope

17 And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good.

18 Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.

And he goes into a long discussion on HOW to do it

Like this is a true business consultation happening right in front of our eyes

Skip down to 22 and we hear one of the biggest reasons why…

22 And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

23 If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all these people shall also go to their place in peace.

And then the kicker… 

24 So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said.

I've always taught this as in Moses delegating to people. , not holding onto everything and being the only one who can do it, because no one else can do it as I can…

And that is a great thing to learn...

But this time when I read it I had to ask myself… 

Can I get counsel from those around me that maybe aren’t my trusted source?

 Am I humble enough to be willing to learn from those around me, my family, my friends?

 And before you go into the defense posture that we should have wise counsel, and to not be unequally yoked, and that those who are not Christians are not able to speak into your life…. 

- I completely agree (and I started that argument myself)…

But what I read when I see those passages 

There are a few important things

Proverbs 11: 14

Where there is no guidance the people fall,

But in an abundance of counselors, there is victory.

Proverbs 12:15

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

Proverbs 20:18

Verse Concepts

Prepare plans by consultation,

And make war by wise guidance.

So, what do we do then?

 How can we just be subject to anyone giving us advice?

 How do we stay humble…

So in our struggles of the ice storm and 20” inches of snow on the mountain, all the pipes freezing and fixing pipes… 

After all of that…

I am finding that I have some work to do on me

On Sunday we are heading gout to go to church and the bus can’t make it up to our hill with all the snow and ice. The kids are wanting to go to church - they can’t stand the idea of missing (plus there was. Friend of the family who had a birthday party afterward)… 

And so all this pressure of getting to church and trying to be on time, and getting unstuck from the snow… the bus is sliding to the left (we live on a mountain, getting off the road is not a good idea)…

And the second time we were stuck, we are shoveling and my second oldest says to me, dad, get the 4x4 ford and push the bus instead of us trying to do this. I ignored her and accused her of being more worr3ed ab9out getting to a party than working together…

 Wow - my flesh was struggling

See, I was carrying all the hard work in gifts that the kids created, all the excitement to be with friends at church and to be honest, to leave our property for the first time in 9 days…

 What I was carrying was the guilt and the weight of potentially disappointing them.. that if we can’t then we can’t and they will be upset and sad…

 What silliness in me to think that would have to revolve around me…

But what is more silly is that in my fear of that, I was treating some of them like they were not part of the solution. 

 Not one of them had a bad attitude, they would cheer the moment the bus started moving… uggg

So, at one point (4th time we were stuck) and I said, I am going to get the 4x4 ford and push the bus… on my walk back to the camp - I was praying and assign God

Why am I acting like this

Simple…

No humility because of my fear of rejection

What??? 

 I thought I had won that battle before

I thought I was over that

I mean 0 it is my kids and they think the world of me

Why is my worth wrapped up in not disappointing them or anyone for that matter…

I prayed in the spirit once that revelation hit me and by the time I got back with the 4x4 my spirit was uplift3ed, I apologized and I was back to being that fun-loving, fun, joyous dad that I want to be. 

 I told Nili to press the gas on the bus just enough to have pressure on the tires and I got the 4x4 truck right against the back bumper and it was like butter- so easy to move the bus

So what do we learn from this story and this passage in the word of God?

Humility will save us time and energy

When we take the time to listen to those who are wanting to give our wise counsel., not only will we get things done quicker, better, but we get to be the better versions of ourselves. I love what it says in verse 22 of Jethro talking to Moses - so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

What - allowing people to come into our lives to HELP ups through words, through ideas through actions - - - - drop the pride and let us walk in humility 

so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

Number 2: Wise counsel is less about the person and more about the counsel. When I've read those passat3es in the past I always turned counsel to counselors, And whenever the scripture says counselors only twice does it say wise counsel as a person, all the other times it is giving preference to the counsel as wise, not the person giving it. 

 Now I am not saying that you need to surround yourself with ungodly people - absolutely not saying that. But I am saying that if God can use a donkey to speak then maybe he can use someone that you don’t like the way they live, or maybe how they said it…. Our job is to judge the counsel given, as much as we want to judge the person giving it.

Number 3: Do what good counsel is… what do I mean. Do it… listen and try out. When the spirit tells you, hey, you need to listen to this… then listen to it! And do it

Oh man - we could have cut our stuck time by 75% if I would have listened to the wise counsel of my daughter. If would have judg3ed it in the spirit instead of my flesh 0- then we wouldn’t have had 3 more times of getting stuck, we would have had more peace and I could have learned something

 Isn’t leadership about continually growing, 

Moses after all the growth as a leader, leading a nation of 2 million people - that’s a big deal - bigger than anyone else that I know in leadership…

But even after all of that, to have the humility to listen to his father-in-law and to apply it to how he was leading… that is true leadership - to be humble enough to want to learn, even if it comes from a donkey…

Because that what leadership is about

It is about being one step ahead

I wish that someone would have talked to me early on in leadership about the cost it has on others... AKA myself.

We need to realize that we will affect others with the decisions we make... 

Even the perfect decisions that couldn't have gone any better...

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So today we are going to talk about how your decisions as a leader affect those around you…

We’ve been reading in Exodus as a family and chapter five… wow for leadership this is huge for us

Not the typical story of leading the nation Israel out of captivity 

Nope this is the part where it gets worse before better

5 Afterward Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Let my people go, so that they may hold a festival to me in the wilderness.’”

2 Pharaoh said, “Who is the Lord, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the Lord and I will not let Israel go.”

4 But the king of Egypt said, “Moses and Aaron, why are you taking the people away from their labor? Get back to your work!” 

6 That same day Pharaoh gave this order to the slave drivers and overseers in charge of the people: 7 “You are no longer to supply the people with straw for making bricks; let them go and gather their straw. 8 But require them to make the same number of bricks as before; don’t reduce the quota. They are lazy; that is why they are crying out, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to our God.’ 9 Make the work harder for the people so that they keep working and pay no attention to lies.”

15 Then the Israelite overseers went and appealed to Pharaoh: “Why have you treated your servants this way? 16 Your servants are given no straw, yet we are told, ‘Make bricks!’ Your servants are being beaten, but the fault is with your people.”

17 Pharaoh said, “Lazy, that’s what you are—lazy! That is why you keep saying, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to the Lord.’ 18 Now get to work. You will not be given any straw, yet you must produce your full quota of bricks.”

19 The Israelite overseers realized they were in trouble when they were told, “You are not to reduce the number of bricks required of you for each day.” 20 When they left Pharaoh, they found Moses and Aaron waiting to meet them, 21 and they said, “May the Lord look on you and judge you! You have made us obnoxious to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us.”

So - why is this a HUGE leadership lesson?

Most leaders I know lead from their insecurity - in other words, they make decisions on what makes the least amount of trouble instead of leading from a God first mentality.

A couple of quick points of what we can learn from this story

1 - Understand the gravity

Moses and Aaron left Gods presence to go tell Pharaoh to let Gods people go

And Pharough then brings down the wrath on the people

Why - cause Moses and Aaron were obedient!

We have to accept that our decisions are important

They will affect more than ourselves - as much as you want it to just be you

It's not - it will affect those you lead on the job, those who look up to you

Your own family

And while the result is something to look forward to - we don’t get to decide the path…

As much as you want to separate the worlds of your decisions and your family.

It isn’t separated 

You get to realize that every decision you make is feeding the future of your family

Even it if includes more hardship.

2 - Do what’s God says - no extras 

You only know this through Christ

Whether it is letting someone go

Or that your decisions carry unintentional consequences

To sugar-coat situations means that we are trying to get people to either come along or get along

Think about that - as leaders in business, in churches, in our own homes - we sometimes make a decision and then try to paint the picture of how little it will affect them,

 It is like we are trying to tell people how to feel and respond…

Isn’t that -= - - - manipulation?

 Stay away from being the person who goes around trying to keep everyone happy

It doesn't work!!!

Now, I am not saying that you are to be harsh or rude in what you do

NO - I am simply saying don’t make an excuse

One of my rules in firing someone is to not apologize unless it is our fault.

In the 100_ people that I have been privileged to let go, only one has stayed mad at me :) 

And not a single was let go because we had to

It was because it was the best thing to do!!!!

Let us look back to Exodus 5 20 When they left Pharaoh, they found Moses and Aaron waiting to meet them, 21 and they said, “May the Lord look on you and judge you! You have made us obnoxious to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us.”

Ha - they were waiting!!!

Why - cause they didn’t like how it felt…

Not knowing that this was part of the process for them to become a nation!

3 - Get over yourself

What do I mean

Well - too often we live in this lie that our decisions won’t affect anyone… or better, that NO ONE will be effective by your leadership or decision. We have problems with it causing anyone grief… and then you get stuck in this pleasing path. 

I remember when I was watching SHkar tank and heard Kevin Oleary just be almost ornery… to the point that he would say to people who didn’t agree with him… you are dead to me.

And I used to think that was harsh

But when I looked at my life of leading… I realized that I had a lot of troubling times, stress, heart issues, literals spending time in the hospital from stress-induced physical issues. I was literally about to go on vacation and we had rented an RV (because ours wasn’t working) and I was coming home to get ready to go when I had double vision… 

 I'm not sure if you have ever had that, but it was scary - my heart started racing and everything started getting dark around me. I thought -I am going to die right here driving this RV… trying to get away for some time away… 

 I took the next exit and pulled my RV into the parking lot of Silver Cross hospital Chicago… walked to the ER and they immediately admitted me

 Before I know it, I am getting all these tests done to check the condition of my heart. EKG, heart monitor, stress test, dye test… 

At one point I am running on a treadmill with my dress shoes cause that Is all I had!

The result - the doc came to me and asked me what I did for a living

Pastor - 

He smiled, you have to change something, Ben… 

I go back to my impression of Kevin Oleary - 

If what he says is true, that when someone doesn't want to do business with him, they are dead to him - then I bet he is living a much more free life than I was!~

Every hurt feeling, every decision that cost someone something, I would stress over what they thought, if they were hurt because of me and my decisions, could I have done it better or different (and every time I could find what I could have possibly done better and I would find myself at fault).

But when I read what Jesus told the disciples - 

Mark 6:11 And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!”

Oh man - we feel like if it was this RIGHT ON then we wouldn’t worry about it

NOPE - if you are like most leaders out there - even when YOU KNOW that it is the right thing to do we get stuck in ourselves

We say it is about others, but it is killing Gus on the inside

Stop!!!!

Let us go back over the points 

So how do I understand gravity?

Pray - get in the spirit and allow him to tell you things to come

I know that can sound a little silly or weird, but it is simply allowing the spirit of God to take your ability to predict and add his knowledge to it. Very rarely is it a vision or complete picture, but many times it is a hunch or a feeling about the situation that you want to pay attention to. Trust me, you want to be side on hearing what God thinks of the situation before you go into the absolute decision.

 So ask God to show you the gravity of the decision you are making

NOT FOR EXCUSES, or even to deflect

But instead, to know the weight of it!

Point number 2 was 0 do exactly what God tells you

How do we do that

Well, write down what you feel he is telling you to do - BEFORE You start planning It out

Then do all the planning you want, preventing, game plan to make the pivot or decision -

And THEN - bring it back to God - Are you in this planning? 

 What are you wanting me to take out of it?

And then as a father, business leader, or pastor - move forward when you KNOW 

Point number 3 was 

 Get over yourself

 Get some emotional strength - we talk about this in my podcast because I believe the number one hindrance to being. The great leader is our own limiting beliefs - even more than blindspots.  

You are not an imposter

You are not a failure

You are not a crazy person who makes irrational decisions

You are not perfect - 

Let me say that again, you are not perfect

You are not responsible for other people behavior

So how do you get over yourself?

Without getting too much into the god-given psychology of how he designed us

We have to grow in our emotional intelligence!

We have to allow GOD to get into every area of our life!

In other words - take an honest look at yourself

 Get in front of the mirror and let God tell you about yourself!

We all learn the same way

We have to see and hear what we need to learn and grow in

In other words

If you are dealing with pride - there are great scriptures that will speak to humility

Ask God to humble you - and I know some of you are like don’t ask God to teach you humility

Cause he will knock you down… and it is ok!!!!

Ask for it - why stay the same???

If you are dealing with imposter syndrome

Study the life of Moses - find someone in the word of God who you can see the faithfulness of God!

Get scripture and find out from God … where you have pride

Yep - I have found that insecurity is pride… 

It is us withholding Gods best for others because we are thinking about ourselves

So #1 get before God

#2 get in the word

And #3 - get some good words from mentors, books, coach!

So go

I hope this podcast will create some good fruit for you

You got this - you will be making decisions that will affect people, instead of acting like it won’t.. own it and grow it!!!

Self-Care… Do you need it?

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Self Care 

So this weekend we are going to be taking time as a family to dive into our goals, core values, core focus, and spiritual desires for 2021. It is something that we do every year and it has become the basis of our year - keeping us fully in front of what God has for us

 It is full of worship time, quiet time, fun time, fellowship, learning, praying, seeking God for HIS plans for our lives - each one and for our family. Such a beautiful weekend of going from hearing about God to looking at him, seeking to hear from him, to gaze upon him!

I was reading in Job with our family bible plan and I saw something that I have missed over the years

Of course, I am going to dive into it - what Did Job mean that his Eyes see God

When you look at th4e Hebrew word for seeth

 WHICH HAPPENED when Job shares this statement

But what happened when Job looked at God???

Job saw in himself the flesh of man, the pride of life… 

 But he also says I abhor myself

IN a world where I hear so many people saying you have to love yourself first

Yet - we strive so hard to build ourselves us

I look at our lives as a tool in the hands of God

Then there are our kitchen knives

And then… I have another friend who carries a knife on his belt - 

 Having that knife ready to use and using it a lot

When I look at how we are supposed to have self-care I feel Like God had a different plan than what we hear in chat rooms, Clubhouse, or read on Facebook. Even the gurus who get out there and tell us to pamper ourselves…

 I think God’s view - I think we are seeing it in these chapters in Job

 COMPLETELY UNUSED!

That is when we do all of our self-worth exercises 

We need self-care - but self-care is many things

I mentioned the first knife, there is self-care found in sharpening the knife!

How many of us are looking for new knives?

This is what happens when we get into a need and our knife isn’t sharp

Or your walk with God

OH man - and what sharpens us?

Ok - welcome back

 Pause this and write that down for each area

So the last knife is the one that my friend keeps sharpened

I cannot t4ll you how many times I would use his knife and say to myself

But I have been on trips where he would get done with his knife, wipe it off, do a quick sharpening and then put it back in his sheath

WHAT??? He was always assessing his knife after use - is this as sharp as it needs to be?

Guess what is down on the list

Can we let that sit

 Sometimes I lead from a dull blade

Let God take your life and show you what you need to self-care

 Are you going to take the time to let God speak to you about what areas need to be sharpened?

Every one of us has hit the ceiling, most of us find ourselves stuck every day. 

Let's lead from the Edge

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About to enter the New Year - what do you need to leave behind, how will you start fresh?

What happens when you go to walk in the Blessings of the Lord and it just doesn't seem to make any headway...

We are talking about taking advantage of this season and really removing all the obstacles that would hinder you from walking in the best form of how God has designed you!

Let's lead from the Edge

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or Youtube

Stitcher:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/leading-from-the-edge

Want to know more?

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leadingfromtheedge/

Join the conversation on my website: http://www.leadinfromtheedge.net