Love Unboxed, Season 1, Episode 003: How to Support Your Partner without Solving Their Problems

What Happens When You Solve Your Partner's Problems for Them? 

Episode Title: Supporting Your Partner Without Solving Their Problems

Host: Dr. Colleen Mullen, Hopeful Romantic & Relationship Expert

Episode Overview: In today’s episode of Love Unboxed, we’re tackling a dilemma that many of us face in relationships: should you solve your partner's problems or just listen? This is an episode built around our first caller question, submitted by Mike, who asks whether it's better to offer solutions or simply support your partner when they're stressed.

Dr. Colleen dives into why jumping in to "fix" things isn't always helpful, and how being a good listener can strengthen your connection. She shares practical questions you can ask your partner when they’re dealing with stress, helping them work through their emotions without feeling pressured. Plus, she gives an example from a couple’s therapy session to illustrate how avoiding the urge to solve every problem can lead to deeper emotional intimacy.

Key Takeaways:

• Don't Solve Right Away: When your partner is stressed, they may just need to vent. Jumping to solutions can make them feel unheard.
• Be Curious: Ask your partner what’s really stressing them out and what’s the worst that could happen. This helps them express their emotions and calms their mind.
• Offer Support First: Only after they’ve had a chance to share, ask if they want your help solving the problem.
• Deepen Connection: Listening without solving builds trust and helps you understand your partner better.

Example from a Couple's Session: Dr. Colleen shares the story of a successful couple who struggled to connect because the husband carried work stress home. Through conversation, he revealed irrational fears that were impacting his mood, even though the reality was much less dire. They learned to check in with each other daily, which helped them reconnect and work as a team.

Listener Question:
Mike asks if it’s better to solve your partner's problems or just listen. Dr. Colleen explores this common relationship challenge, offering guidance on how to balance support and problem-solving.

Actionable Advice:

1. When your partner is stressed, start by asking, "What’s stressing you out about this situation?"
2. Follow up with, "What’s the worst thing that could happen if the situation doesn’t change?"
3. After they’ve shared, ask, "Would you like some help with this, or do you just need to vent?"

Call to Action:
Do you have a dating or relationship dilemma you’d like Dr. Colleen to discuss on the show? Leave a voicemail at LoveUnboxedPodcast.com. You get five minutes to tell your story!

Connect with Dr. Colleen:

• Instagram: @DrColleenMullen
• Website: CoachingThroughChaos.com

Next Steps:
Think about where you might be stuck in your relationship or dating life. Are you always looking to fix, or are you ready to listen and connect more deeply? Until next time, let’s keep hope alive!

More Resources from Dr. Colleen 

• My Mindful Reflections: A Daily Journal for Better Mental Health (get it on Amazon) -  This is a journal designed by Dr. Colleen.  You can use it to track your emotions, highlight  special moments, learn from difficult ones , let go of daily steam through daily narrative pages , and even learn to give yourself permission to take a break.
• Do you want to hire Dr. Colleen to help you?  Please check out her work at DrColleenMullen.com. 

Upcoming Workshops 

"Date Differently"  - for singles who want to break free from past relationship obstacles. 

"Love Them More " - for those in committed relationships who  want to  protect their relationship from future obstacles. 

SUPPORT THE SHOW! 

1. AMAZON.COM Use code LoveUnboxed-20 at checkout when you make your regular purchases on Amazon or visit Dr. Colleen's Amazon storefront.  You won't pay anything extra, but Dr. Colleen will make a small commission on what you purchase.
2. TBD:  Patreon- FInd out the perks of joining the Hopeful Romantic community!

Disclaimer

This show exists only for educational and/or entertainment purposes.  Although Dr. Mullen is a licensed therapist, in the capacity of  her show-hosting duties, she is not your therapist. This show is not meant as a replacement for therapy.  

• Dr. Colleen creates stories of people who are not meant to mimic, copy, or otherwise represent any specific person. These are characters she creates using various  data points from multiple people. Any likeness to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidence. 
•  

Resources for Finding a Mental Health Professional in the U.S. 

1. Therapy Den
2. Psychology Today
3. Mental Health Matters
4. Therapy for Black Girls
5. Dial 211 to be connected to a Social Services Helpline in your area that can provide you with information on mental health resources in your area.
6. The National Suicide Prevention Helpline.  or call 988    If you or someone you care about is thinking about suicide, they are there to help.

Dr. Colleen's online voicemail line is powered by SpeakPipe