The minute I realized how much I liked you, I did everything I possibly could to ruin it. I didn't know how tainted I was. Feeling too much scared me and in my mind I knew how it would end so I did everything I could to speed it up. I wanted it to end before I could get caught by surprise and risk having my heart broken because it felt too good to be true. I didn’t think twice. You touched my heart too much and I wasn't going to risk my sanity again. I already knew what that felt like. So keeping you at arms length and not giving you the power to catch me by surprise was my way of burning the bridge so I wouldn’t have to cross it twice.

Before you, dating was something I did but things never were that serious because I never wanted to date in the first place. I had been with someone for a long time and what was supposed to have been marriage turned out to be betrayal and it almost cost me my life, quite literally. 20 stitches and a lesson of a lifetime. It was a horrible experience that I would, could never relive.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2020/12/19/what-i-never-told-you-pt-2/