What If Nothing’s Wrong With You?

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss why “shoulds” make life miserable—especially amid renewed horror and validation that many systems are corrupt—and argue for resigning from them. Lisa shares a skiing misadventure with her son David that highlights ignoring intuition, safety concerns, and the parenting programming that says kids must finish what they start; they emphasize teaching children to trust their bodies and quit when needed. Paula explains, drawing on Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle, that every “should” is a story arguing with reality and blocks joy, intuition, and love. Lisa critiques therapy “rules” that privilege endless processing, outsource agency, and fixate on “why,” and they connect shoulds to privilege, revolutionary refusal, and being stingy with apologies unless real harm occurred.

00:00 Welcome and Theme

00:23 Why We’re Done With Shoulds

01:32 Ski Trip Gone Wrong

03:54 Let Kids Quit and Trust Vibes

10:18 Movie Pick Women’s Rage

12:32 Resigning From Shoulds

13:40 Shoulds Argue Reality

19:39 Therapy Rules as Shoulds

24:42 Who Benefits From Shoulds

28:24 Choose to Walk Away

28:55 Soup Salad Detour

30:29 Privilege and Shoulds

33:51 Revolutionary No

36:58 Stop Apologizing

40:36 Turning 50 Permission

46:24 What Do You Want

48:19 Quotes on Shoulds

50:30 Nothing Wrong With You

52:43 Final Sign Off

Binary (Black-and-White) Thinking: Why We Do It, How It Controls Us, and How to Get Free

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, discuss binary (black-and-white) thinking and how it shows up in culture, education, media, and clients’ decision-making. Lisa shares reflections from Jane Goodall’s “famous last words” interview, emphasizing that there is no single “right” way to live and that the task is to be yourself. They define ambivalence (having mixed feelings) and cognitive dissonance (stress from holding conflicting beliefs or actions) and connect binary thinking to control, authoritarianism, and white supremacy culture’s “only one right way.” They explore how constant judging fuels anxiety, rumination, and defensiveness, why accepting being “the asshole sometimes” reduces manipulation, and how improv’s “yes, and” rewires rigid thinking toward nuance, paradox, and liberation.

What If Nothing's Wrong With You?

Mental Health In Chaos (Ep. 32)

(Episode recorded September 2025)

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss the core question “What if nothing is wrong with you?” in the context of todays societal chaos and fascism, especially in Washington, DC, where ICE activity and arrests are creating fear, restriction, and powerlessness. They note many clients “relapsing” into coping behaviors like food restriction, increased drinking, bingeing, and shopping, framing these as attempts to regain control or soothe, and warn that shame and self-ranking reinforce the very dynamics of white supremacy and fascism. They argue there are often no good options, encourage choosing with agency rather than conforming or rebelling, and emphasize “permission” over perfection, empathy without suffering Olympics, and supportive relationships.

00:00 Welcome and Big Question
00:58 Thunderbolts Movie Takeaways
04:34 Pop Culture and Fascism Jokes
05:26 Unicorn Girl Scam Podcast
10:28 Societal Chaos and Relapse
12:33 Life in DC Right Now
18:00 Control Soothing and Shame
21:11 Suffering Olympics and Empathy
22:39 Resisting In Groups
23:33 Empathy Without Centering
24:40 No Win Dilemma
27:09 Permission Over Perfection
28:50 Activism Without Burnout
30:03 Middle Path Agency
33:45 No Good Options
36:38 Drop The Virtue Tests
39:38 Shame Helps Fascists
41:24 Closing And Reviews

Exploring Relationship Dynamics and the Allure of Heated Rivalry | What If Nothing's Wrong With You Podcast In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?' hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, along with their friend Nnaemeka, dive into the societal conditioning around romantic relationships, discussing the concept of relationship propaganda. They focus on the importance of positive role models such as the show 'Heated Rivalry' and its departure from traditional relationship dynamics dominated by power struggles. The hosts also touch on the universal appeal of male tenderness, the concept of 'corrective emotional experiences' through art, and their views on the fluidity of sexuality. Join them for an enlightening and humorous conversation that questions societal norms and offers new perspectives on human relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Greetings

00:35 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry

02:19 Chitchat and Quitting Things

06:02 The Power of Music and Art

07:12 Rosalia's Album and Movie Recommendations

12:12 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry Revisited

28:05 The X-Files and Patriarchal Comedy

28:42 Obsession and Starvation Analogy

30:04 Male Tenderness and Cultural Deprivation

32:25 Therapeutic Insights and Corrective Experiences

38:50 Challenging Straightness and Sexual Categories

42:04 Heated Rivalry and Cultural Impact

44:17 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

Exploring Loneliness: Understanding Its Roots and Finding Connection In this episode of 'What, if Nothing is Wrong with You,' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, delve into the topic of loneliness. They address the male loneliness epidemic, discuss individual experiences with loneliness, and explore the societal and personal factors that contribute to this issue. The conversation touches on the importance of community, the pitfalls of modern parenting, and the impact of late-stage capitalism and white supremacy on social connection. They also recommend some books, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into combating loneliness by building relationships with others and with oneself. 

00:00 Welcome and Introductions 

00:20 Discussing Loneliness 

01:01 Book Recommendations 

08:02 Therapy Horror Stories 

15:11 Loneliness Epidemic 

29:15 The Impact of Screens on Children's Social Lives 

29:55 Parental Fears and Overprotection 

31:55 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Adults 

32:22 The Pressure on Parents to Orchestrate Social Interactions 

36:42 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group 

37:38 Contradictions in Social Expectations for Married Women 

41:53 The Importance of Building Social Skills in Children 

42:20 The Role of Community in Non-White Cultures 

51:10 The Need for Vulnerability in Friendships 

53:47 The Value of Imperfect Relationships 

57:47 Final Thoughts on Loneliness and Social Connections

In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays dive into the importance of apologies in our lives and therapy. Paula shares vivid details about her recent trip to Iceland, highlighting its outstanding natural beauty, culture, and how it's managed by women. The hosts also discuss why therapists and people in general should apologize more and provide insights into the implications of a good apology. They also talk about the cultural resistance to apologies, especially in a patriarchal and narcissistic society.

00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic 

00:44 Iceland Adventures and Observations 

02:18 Cultural and Social Insights from Iceland 

07:50 Book and Media Recommendations 

17:53 Therapy Horror Stories 

23:51 The Importance of Apologizing 

28:50 The Importance of Apologizing in Therapy 

29:36 Therapists and Narcissistic Culture 

31:17 Rupture and Repair in Relationships 

32:15 A Story of Apology in Couples Therapy 

33:29 The Culture of Being Right 

35:10 The Power of Apologizing and Vulnerability 

37:40 The Role of Apologies in Addressing Harm 

38:51 The Impact of Apologies on Relationships 

40:29 The Challenges of Apologizing in a Patriarchal Society 

49:49 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 

57:15 Final Thoughts on Apologies and Boundaries

Fascism and Mental Health: In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays explore the relationship between fascism and mental illness. They delve deep into how fascism is a form of collective delusion, the inherent issues within imperialistic ideologies, and how therapy often supports these systems. The dialogue extends to encompass how individual mental health struggles are valid responses to the societal structure we live in. They also highlight the dangers of infinite loyalty to illusions and the importance of recognizing the interconnection of all humans. They also speak about taking action via apps like Five Calls and Ice Block to stay engaged in creating positive change. 

00:00 Introduction and Focus 

00:48 Middle Age Purchases and Power Washer Stories 

02:51 Adopting Dogs and Their Impact 

06:07 Indigo Girls Concert Experience 

09:32 Jeff Bezos' Wedding and Wealth 

13:01 Unreal: Behind the Scenes of Reality TV 

20:07 Therapy Horror Stories and Boundaries 

25:22 Introduction to Fascism Discussion 

25:33 Introduction to the Topic 

26:12 Defining Mental Illness and Fascism 

27:15 Fascism as a Mental Disorder 

29:11 The Delusion of Loyalty to Illusions 

32:21 The Role of Anxiety and Discomfort 

37:41 The Influence of Media and Pop Culture 

41:32 Therapists and Ethical Dilemmas 

47:17 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays do a deep dive into the modern obsession with attention. In this episode, we explore the mental health implications of constant screen engagement and discuss the reality of monogamy in today's world. Topics include the impact of AI on human cognition, changes in the perception of relationships, and the importance of awe in everyday life.

Therapist Horror Stories: When Counseling Goes WrongJoin hosts Paula Atkinson and Lisa K as they dive into an engaging and hilarious episode of 'What, If Nothing Is Wrong With You?' where audience members share their most shocking and hysterical therapist horror stories. From therapists falling asleep mid-session to wildly inappropriate disclosures, this episode sheds light on the importance of choosing the right therapist and recognizing when therapy may be doing more harm than good. Tune in for a blend of humor, insight, and audience participation in this captivating episode!00:00 Introduction and Audience Participation01:16 Chit Chat: Adult Swim Team Adventures05:19 TV Show Recommendations: The Righteous Gemstones08:45 Therapy Update and Reflections12:49 Therapist Horror Stories: Inappropriate Advice24:52 Therapist Horror Stories: Mishandling Coming Out28:52 Therapist Horror Stories: The Power Dynamics29:54 The Perils of Self-Disclosure30:31 Therapist Over-Sharing: When It Gets Personal36:33 Couples Therapy Gone Wrong44:02 Therapists Falling Asleep: A New Low49:14 Unhelpful Advice: Have You Tried...?52:39 Conclusion: Sharing Your Stories

Friendship and Ketamine: Deconstructing Cultural MythsIn this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You,' Paula and Lisa dive into the overlooked importance of friendships and the therapeutic potential of ketamine. They begin by discussing their reactions to the Netflix remake of 'The Four Seasons,' and how it reflects outdated notions of relationships. The hosts then explore the cultural devaluation of friendships, particularly stressing how systemic issues like capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy undermine community bonds. They share personal stories, insights from research, and highlight the importance of being deliberate and effortful in maintaining friendships. The episode wraps up with powerful reflections on prioritizing platonic relationships for better mental health and overall well-being.00:00 Introduction and Today's Topics00:36 TV Show Review: The Four Seasons11:22 Young Sheldon and Intergenerational Themes14:18 Book Recommendation: Educated by Tara Westover16:14 The Emerald Podcast and Media Consumption20:06 Ketamine as a Treatment for Mental Health25:53 The Importance of Friendships28:48 The Devaluation of Friendships in Modern Society30:34 Redefining Romance and Friendship33:57 The Origin Story of a Lifelong Friendship39:56 The Myth of the Core Friend Group50:37 The Importance of Friendships for Parents and Children53:58 Friendship as a Sacred Form of Love55:36 Final Thoughts and Call to Action