What is Truth?: Bridging the Gap Between What You Feel and What is Real

The conversation delves into the complex nature of responsibility, exploring its definition, impact of childhood trauma, unconscious addiction, compassion, ownership, major life transitions, and limited awareness of identity and values. The conversation delves into the themes of living a life of purpose and impact, recognizing constraints and surrendering agency, responsibility and emotional mastery, understanding healthy responsibility, commitment to personal transformation, and the spectrum of responsibility. The discussion emphasizes the importance of recognizing the impact of small decisions, acknowledging constraints without surrendering agency, and understanding the role of emotions in taking responsibility.

Takeaways

• Responsibility as a response vs. reacting
• The impact of childhood trauma on responsibility Living a life of purpose and impact
• Recognizing constraints without surrendering agency

Chapters

• 00:00 Exploring Responsibility
• 02:07 Defining Responsibility, Accountability, Agency, and Circumstances
• 05:16 The Ability to Respond vs. Reacting
• 08:09 Responsibility as Empowerment vs. Pressure
• 09:09 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Responsibility
• 18:08 Unconscious Addiction and Trauma Response
• 23:30 Compassion, Ownership, and Major Life Transitions
• 28:04 Identity, Values, and Limited Awareness
• 30:53 Living a Life of Purpose and Impact
• 32:14 Recognizing Constraints and Surrendering Agency
• 33:49 Responsibility and Emotional Mastery
• 45:27 Understanding Healthy Responsibility
• 51:31 Commitment to Personal Transformation
• 56:17 The Spectrum of Responsibility

Guest: Endre Hoffmann

• https://www.doctorofselfworth.com/

Music:

• Bonsaye - Descartes

References

• Ames, D. R., Ochsner, K. N., & Reeck, C. (2016). The social regulation of emotion: An integrative, cross-disciplinary model. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 20(1), 47–63. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.09.003  
• De Bellis, M. D., & Zisk, A. (2014). The biological effects of childhood trauma. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 23(2), 185–222. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2014.01.002  
• Ghahremani, L., Karimi, M., Kaveh, M. H., Nazari, M., & Zare, E. (2025, January 1). The correlation between resilience, self-control, self-regulation, and decision-making style and aggressive behavior in adolescents: An analysis using structural equation modeling. International Journal of School Health. https://intjsh.sums.ac.ir/article_50422.html  
• Pickard, H. (2017). Responsibility without blame for addiction. Neuroethics, 10(1), 169–180. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12152-016-9295-2  
• Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.

The podcast explores the fascinating question of why people remember the same moment differently. It delves into the nature of memory as a reconstruction of the past, influenced by attention, emotion, and identity. It emphasizes the importance of humility and curiosity in understanding memory and truth. Exploring the question: Why do people remember the same moment differently?

Takeaways

• Memory is a reconstruction, not a replay
• Our attention shapes memory.
• Emotion changes what we remember.
• We remember through the lens of who we are.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Nature of Memory
• 02:29 Memory as Reconstruction
• 11:08 Attention and Memory
• 15:05 Emotion and Memory
• 19:40 Identity and Memory

Artist: Bonsaye

Song: Collide

References

• Andrews, B., & Brewin, C. R. (2016). Creating memories for false autobiographical events in childhood: A systematic review. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 31(1), 2–23. https://doi.org/10.1002/acp.3220 
• Chun, M. M., Kuhl, B. A., & Long, N. M. (2018). Memory and attention. Stevens’ Handbook of Experimental Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience, 1–37. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119170174.epcn109
• Conway, M. A., Justice, L. V., & D’Argembeau, A. (2019). The self-memory system revisited. The organization and structure of autobiographical memory, 28-51. 
• Guerin, S. A., Schacter, D. L., & St. Jacques, P. L. (2011). Memory distortion: An adaptive perspective. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 15(10), 467–474. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2011.08.004 
• Gómez, R. L., Nadel, L., & Simon, K. C. (2020). Parameters of memory reconsolidation: Learning mode influences likelihood of memory modification. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2020.00120 
• Kark, S. M., & Kensinger, E. A. (2018). Emotion and memory. Stevens’ Handbook of Experimental Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience, 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119170174.epcn101

The conversation delves into the complexity of identity, exploring the interplay of given, discovered, constructed, and chosen elements. It also examines the role of responsibility and agency in shaping one's identity, as well as the influence of external forces, relationships, and community. The discussion further explores the potential for personal transformation, surprising self-discoveries, and the difference between who we are and who we think we are. The conversation delves into the dynamic nature of identity, emphasizing the importance of acceptance before change and the lifelong pursuit of understanding and shaping one's identity. It explores the balance between self-presentation and self-discovery, the significance of emotional work, and the distinction between uncovering and becoming. The chapters cover a range of topics, from the nature of identity to the pursuit of authenticity and the distinction between identity and image.

Takeaways

• Identity is a complex interplay of given, discovered, constructed, and chosen elements.
• Our ability to respond instead of react is a key aspect of responsibility and agency. Identity is a dynamic and evolving concept
• Acceptance precedes change
• The pursuit of identity is a lifelong journey

Guest: Jason Sandmann

https://jasonsandmann.substack.com/

References

• Cheek, N. N., & Cheek, J. M. (2018). Aspects of identity: From the inner-outer metaphor to a tetrapartite model of the self. Self and Identity, 17(4), 467–482. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2017.1412347
• Côté, J. E. (2018). The enduring usefulness of Erikson's concept of identity. Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research, 18(4), 251–264. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15283488.2018.1524328 
• Gimmel, D. Quote by Japanese Proverb. Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/12270396-do-not-speak-bad-of-yourself-for-the-warrior-within-hears
• McLean, K. C., Syed, M., Pasupathi, M., Adler, J. M., Dunlop, W. L., Drustrup, D., et al. (2020). The empirical structure of narrative identity: The initial Big Three. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(4), 920–944. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30998044/
• Vignoles, V. L., Jaser, Z., Taylor, F., & Ntontis, E. (2021). Harnessing shared identities to mobilize resilient responses to collective threat. Political Psychology, 42(S1), 37–57. Supports the importance of social relationships and group belonging in identity formation. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8013210/

The episode explores the relationship between feelings and truth, highlighting the gap between feelings and reality, the distinction between feelings and truth, the role of emotional intelligence in decision making, the nature of feelings as recognition and intuition, and the unreliability of feelings as a standalone standard for truth.

Takeaways

• Feelings as Data
• Emotional Intelligence

Chapters

• 00:00 The Gap Between Feelings and Reality
• 06:43 Emotional Intelligence and Decision Making
• 12:40 The Unreliability of Feelings

References

• Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
• Goodreads. (n.d.). A quote by Warren Buffett. Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8956691-what-the-human-being-is-best-at-doing-is-interpreting 
• Greenaway, K. H., Kalokerinos, E. K., & Williams, L. A. (2018). Context is everything (in emotion research). Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 12(6), e12393. https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/spc3.12393)Kassam
• K., Lerner, J. S., Kanesan, P., & Fauzan, N. (2019). MODELS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: A REVIEW. E-BANGI, Suppl.Special Issue 7, 16, 1-9. https://colby.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/models-emotional-intelligence-review/docview/2396318735/se-2 
• Li, Y., & Valdesolo, P. (2015). Emotion and decision making. Annual Review of Psychology, 66(1), 799–823. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115043 
• Pham, M. T. (2004). The logic of feeling. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 14(4), 360–369. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327663jcp1404_5 
• Solomon, R. C. (2007). True to our feelings: What our emotions are really telling us. Oxford University Press. https://tinyurl.com/5n8vh8ne
• Stephen, L. (2024, July 17). The space between stimulus and response - ignite. IGNITE Peak Performance. https://ignitepeakperformance.com/general/the-space-between-stimulus-and-response/

The conversation delves into the impact of lenses on perception, interpretation, and relationships. It explores the challenges of lens awareness and the need for understanding the impact of lenses on reality. The discussion also highlights the process of examining and shifting lenses, as well as the role of lenses in self-protection and relational misunderstandings.

Takeaways

• Lens shapes reality
• Understanding the impact of lenses
• Challenges of lens awareness

Chapters

• 00:00 Examining Lenses: Origin and Meaning

Guest: Christina Wong

https://www.yourjourneybacktoself.com/

References

Mair, N. (2022, February 6). The Psychological Lens. Medium. https://medium.com/@nickmair3/the-psychological-lens-5313b1bc8f18  

Mifsud, R., & Sammut, G. (2023). Worldviews and the role of social values that underlie them. PLOS ONE, 18(7). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0288451  

Galinsky, A. S., Ku, G. D., & Wang, C. (2010). Perception through a perspective-taking lens: Differential effects on judgment and behavior. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46(5), 792–798. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2010.04.001  

Byom, L. J., & Mutlu, B. (2013). Theory of mind: Mechanisms, methods, and New Directions. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2013.00413 

Lin, D. Y., Pronin, E., & Ross, L. (2002). The bias blind spot: Perceptions of bias in self versus others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 369–381. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167202286008 

Cherry, K. (2026, January 8). Actor-Observer Bias in Social Psychology. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-actor-observer-bias-2794813?utm_source=chatgpt.com 

The episode explores the concept of coexistence and the challenges of holding multiple truths in the same space. It delves into the nature of truth, the challenge of coexistence, and the distinctions between truth as experience and truth as authority. It also examines the impact of truth on experience, interpretation, and meaning, highlighting the complexities of navigating multiple truths in various contexts.

Takeaways

• Coexistence requires empathy, restraint, and willingness to remain engaged
• Truth as experience differs from truth as authority

References

Alles, T. (2022). Truth and Perspectives. Interdisciplinary Journal for Religion and Transformation in Contemporary Society, 8(1), 13–33. https://doi.org/10.30965/23642807-bja10040 

Belmir, I., Dadda, S., & Nejjari, A. (2025). From interculturality to coexistence: Towards a new societal paradigm. Journal of Education, Society and Behavioural Science, 38(4), 114–120. https://doi.org/10.9734/jesbs/2025/v38i41405  

Capps, J. (2023, May 22). The Pragmatic Theory of Truth. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/truth-pragmatic/  

Hautamaki, A. (2022, February 16). Disagreement, points of view, and truth-relativism - acta analytica. SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12136-021-00504-x 

Johnson, D. (2020). Deep disagreement, hinge commitments, and intellectual humility. Episteme, 19(3), 353–372. https://doi.org/10.1017/epi.2020.31 

Pritchard, D. (2018, November 23). Intellectual humility and the epistemology of disagreement - synthese. SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11229-018-02024-5 

Ramesh, M. (2020, September 24). Never settle: The inspiring story of an old watch and self-worth!. Medium. https://mythiliramesh.medium.com/never-settle-the-inspiring-story-of-an-old-watch-and-self-worth-102a43861922 

Smeekes, A., Velthuis, E., & Verkuyten, M. (2021, June 16). The different faces of social tolerance: Conceptualizing and measuring respect and coexistence tolerance - social indicators research. SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-021-02724-5

The podcast explores the nature of truth and the importance of understanding different perspectives. It emphasizes the need to move beyond debate and affirmation to genuinely understand how people arrive at their beliefs. Each episode begins with a question, definitions upfront, and an open dialogue focused on the question.

Takeaways

• Understanding different perspectives
• Importance of truth