In Episode 5 of Swami Ji, the OG, I am discussing what a Swami actually is. I will walk you through what it means to be a Swami, and the journey that I took to becoming one.

Topics in the episode include:

-What the word Swami means

-The origin of the word

-What it means to be one

-The process one must go through to become one

-My own personal journey of becoming a Swami

In today’s episode I will discuss what it means to be a Swami and why I became one.

Swami is said to mean the Master over Self. Swa means self and Ma is master. It is a title given to a spiritual teacher whose objective is to know one’s self and to pursue a life of spiritual realization.

It’s important to note that the word arose with in the subcontinent that is now known as India thousands of years ago, before any of the world’s known religions and is not associated with any specific religion. It is associated with the path of spirituality and renunciation.

This path of spirituality involves the cultivation of an inner condition that is more important than the external way of living. It does not mean renouncing all material possessions, shaving one’s head, donning orange robes and mala beads, and going off to live in a cave in the Himalaya! 

The unstable world of fluctuating emotions and desires is carried inside no matter where one goes. Even sitting in a cave, one must confront life’s disappointments, greed, selfish desire, hatred, anger, jealousy – cultivation of a new mindset is needed and this requires discipline of practice, determination to remain one-pointed and inspiration from those who have walked the razor’s edge and know the way.

Many spiritual seekers look for a guide through the process of initiation, or in Sanskrit “diksha”. This word diksha comes from the root diksh, meaning “to dedicate oneself” and daks which means to grow, to become strong, to expand. So the word can mean to dedicate oneself to a process that expands the consciousness.

Diksha can also mean ‘to see’ referring to the process of finding one’s inner light to see the inner journey. Culturally, we live in a society that seems to dedicated to the outer journey – better house, nicer car, more money, best food, how many likes or friends we have on social media….this outer quest is endless….there’s never enough ‘stuff’ to validate us, to make us feel connected, to feel whole or to even feel contentment.

The process of initiation, of diksha, offers the opportunity to see behind the veil of illusion that is man-made and to connect with our inner nature.

My connection to the path began back in 1983 with a visit to an ashram in Australia where a friend of mine was a swami. I practiced some yoga there, but saw no need to connect any deeper than doing some yoga practices that made my body feel good and my mind relax. In fact, at that time I was somewhat concerned that she had joined a cult!

For many years, I continued to utilize the practices from this traditional approach to yoga to help me through the occasional physical and mental aches and pains of life. I was far from a serious practitioner of yoga. It wasn’t until I was faced with a life threatening illness and was frustrated with the modern medical world’s inability to make me better that I turned more seriously to a deeper exploration of yoga. In the end, it was yoga that gave me back my life.

But this story is about how I became a swami…

A few years later, in 1995, I went to visit my swami friend again – this time at a small ashram in the middle of rice paddies in a remote and impoverished area in India where she was living with a small group of swamis and her guru. 

I spent a couple of weeks there watching and helping this small group of swamis building homes, starting a school, giving supplies and employment for the people in the surrounding villages. This practice of seva, selfless service, was a part of yoga that I knew nothing about. I was inspired. I was humbled. And I gave up the idea that maybe this was a cult.

It was during this time that I was given my first level of initiation, or diksha. This was a simple process. I sat with the ashram cook before the man who was to become my guru. He chanted and gave me a mantra and spiritual name, explaining how to chant the mantra daily and what my name, Atmarupa, meant. Atma is the ‘true self’ and rupa mean ‘the form’ so my name means to take the form of my true self. 

Hmm, I thought that was pretty cool. When I went back outside, one of the main swamis asked me what my name was and when I told her she said, “ohhh” with a look in her eyes that made me a bit worried. Later I learned that name initiation really brings to the surface the connection of an individual with their higher nature. For me that meant connecting to the form of my soul, my eternal nature. Still working on it, needless to say.

Traditionally it is said that initiations are given to awaken a dimension of vibration and energy so that we can move into our more subtle nature, to awaken those areas of our personality that may lie dormant and will bring greater mental clarity, perceptivity, inner strength and creativity.

It is also said that once you have a mantra that has been charged by a guru, it will immediately start to change the course of your life!

Well!! Within 2 years I opened a holistic health and yoga center and within 4 years also left my job as an anesthetist to teach yoga and manage the center full time.

It wasn’t until 2001 that I took the next step on the spiritual path. After 9/11 I took a small group of students to India, back to the ashram I had visited in 1995. I was told by a very senior swami that I should request ‘karma sannyasa’. In as conversation with my guru I told him what this other swami had said and he replied, “If you want karma sannyasa fine. But know that gold still shines if it’s below the ground or above.” To this day, I feel this complement to be the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.

So what’s a karma sannyasa? Well, it’s not a swami yet. It’s another step on the path.

A guru initiates a person into sannyasa by pacing their trust in the aspirant. It’s like someone giving you the diploma before you’ve ever started school! It’s as though the guru is saying, “Look I’m giving you this degree and I place my trust in you, in the hope that in the course of your life you write your thesis and if not the whole book, definitely at least a few pages.”

Clearly, initiation as a sannyasin does not make you a perfect person. It simply means that you will now confront all of your patterns, karmas, ambitions and desires. 

The initiation of karma sannyasa is for Householders – a term from India representing those who live in the regular world, hold down a job and maintain a house. They continue to meet their worldly obligations while committing to a clear vision of the spiritual life.

At this stage, one is cultivating the attitude of an objective witness to life. Wow! Is this hard. To keep playing all of the roles required at work, at home, with friends, with family and at the same time keep the consciousness at peace, with awareness and equanimity. 

It requires tremendous effort to maintain inner and outer balance during all of the opposites of life while performing daily duties.

There is no renunciation of life – only renunciation of the attachments that can lead to so much emotional upheaval and stress. One must cultivate awareness in every action. Avoid being angry when provoked. Accept life with grace and gratitude. Be kind.

I must stop here and say again that you are given these initiations because the guru sees some potentiality in you even though you may not see it in yourself. And to reiterate that initiations are given and then the work begins.

Well, in 2007 while visiting in India again, I began thinking about Poorna Sannyasa initiation. This is when one becomes a swami. There was such a strange conversation I had going on in my head. Is this something I should even consider? I’ve certainly not mastered karma sannyasa. I’m not ready! But the thought kept coming back.

I was at the ashram that houses Bihar School of Yoga and developed pneumonia. I was dreadfully ill-fever and chills, coughing constantly. I spent about a week in bed on antibiotics and other medications. By the time I was well enough to move, it was time for a group of us to travel by 3 or 4 cars to the other ashram about 5 hours away. 

At the halfway point there is a roadside samosa stand run by devotees of the ashrams and every trip from one ashram to the other includes a stop for fresh samosas. When our car pulled in and everyone got out I noticed my guru sitting in his car with the window down. I took a deep breath, went to the car and asked if I could ask him a question. He said yes and I blurted out, “would it ever be appropriate for me to consider poorna sannyasa?” He replied, “of course, Atmarupa.” I then asked, “when would it be appropriate?” thinking he would say in another 5-10 years, but he simply said, “tomorrow.”

You know that expression “be careful what you ask for?” 

The next day, despite being told that no one was being initiated as poorna sannyasa that year, I joined the ceremony for all the different levels of initiation with a couple of hundred people and was guided to sit on the stage by my guru. After all of the initiations, he came to me and initiated me as Swami Atmarupa Saraswati.

This path is hard. People expect me to be a certain way because I am a swami. I don’t think they know what a swami is.

  I’m still not sure if I really know what a swami is even after being one for 12 years. I continue to work hard to evolve, but I am also acutely aware of how far I need to go. But I am sure that I have written at least a few pages of my spiritual thesis and will keep trying to deserve my title.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. I do wear orange robes and shave my head sometimes. Not so much here in Cleveland or people might be put off by the weirdness of it all. I do it mainly when I’m spending time at the ashram-it helps remind me of who I am meant to become. To truly embody being a swami.

To connect with me on social media, follow me on Instagram, and like our Facebook page.

Want to expand your practice even more? Come check out the Atma Center in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.