What advice would you have for someone who wants to be born again?

I've been previously assured of my own salvation in a monergistic but ultimately fruitless form of Christianity. About five years ago I was forced to consider and was soon absolutely convinced by the Scriptures I was not at all saved. Since then, I've been striving to enter the narrow gate, through prayer, sometimes fasting, constant scripture study, local church attendance, contacting the broader Church, and reading old Puritan books about my situation. I've been asking God to save me, whatever it takes, give me the Holy Spirit, break me, just don't let me die in this state, however long it takes. I hope he would be pleased to work in me the changed heart and life he is looking for.

So all that to say, what is the responsibility of someone who wants to be born again, assuming they're not?