What The Fuck Am I Doing?

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing about self care? In the final episode of Season 3, Maddie and Esbee dive headfirst into the vast and murky world of self care. They delve into the "Goopification" of the term, exploring how self care had become  a laundry list of beautification and pampering techniques that don't necessarily deliver long-term results. And they explore the reality of their own approach to self care, which does occasionally include things like massages and hot baths, but more often than not is an exercise of boundary-setting and kindness for themselves in every single fact of their lives. As it turns out, self care isn't just another thing to check off the two hosts' never-ending to-do lists; rather it's a dialy practice that takes time, commitment, and grace. 

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I...EATING? At this time of year, we're eating pretty much everything — and talking about it, too. Sitting in the wake of a Thanksgiving feast and in anticipation of many Christmas and New Year's celebrations, it 'tis the season for lots and lots of eating. And as such, Maddie and Esbee discuss their relationships with this essential act. They talk about their personal histories with food and eating, and contrast those stories with their current relationships to food. They also bring back "Nacho Nashville" in this episode, with a 3-for-1 journey through three of Nashville's supposedly best — or are they? Listen to the end to find out.

Send us a text

Wait wait wait...What The Fuck JUST HAPPENED? In this episode, Esbee and Maddie pull an audible as they discuss politics again in light of the results of the 2024 election. Spoiler alert: Donald J. Trump was elected into the highest office again, making him not only #45, but also #47. The two discuss both their disbelief and their disappointment over the results and what that seems to mean about the "soul of our nation" (as #46, Joe Biden, liked to call it on the campaign trail). They also examine their fears over the future of our country, our children, and our democracy as we know it. Moreover, the two spend this episode processing the shock of what just happened because it just felt a little too raw to immediately delve into something as superfluous as home decor. In sum, they sort of feel like the name of their podcast has never been more appropriate.

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing when it comes to politics?? Publishing this episode on Election Day (November 5, 2024) in the United States, Maddie and Esbee are feeling all sorts of whacked out in regards to this subject matter in particular. The two discuss their varying levels of interest and activism in politics, where and how they came to have the political leanings they do, and whether either one would consider running for office one day (spoiler: they won't). Maddie says her political stance is rooted in kindness and common sense, and Esbee says the politics here in the South are far different than those she experienced in the big cities where she previously lived: NYC, LA, and SF. (No duh). It's a weird day here in America, but we're leaning in here at WTFAID and moreover hoping everyone is getting out to VOTE!!!

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing being a person who is constantly aging and will inevitably, eventually die? Woof. In this heavy hitting episode, Esbee and Maddie discuss the one subject that nearly all of us dread in one way or another (aging) and even delve into a topic so taboo, our culture largely avoids it altogether: death. Although both women are not thrilled about the way getting older promises to loosen their skin, deepen their wrinkles, and intensify their various aches and ailments, Esbee has her sights set on the holy grail of retirement, whereas Maddie actually looks forward to certain aspects of aging that naturally come with being a parent. But it's not all bad. Both women explore various elements of aging that they actually see as positives. The two also discuss their experiences with their parents' aging, get deeply personal regarding their own feelings about death, and answer the big picture question: are you afraid of dying? Just in time for spooky season, these two are tackling some of life's scariest questions.

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing with work? As women continue to occupy even more space in the workforce — and as they also continue to occupy generally the same amount of space in the home, even if they work outside of it as well — the fact of the matter is: women be workin'. In the first episode of Season 3, Maddie and Esbee discuss the world of work, as two women who currently occupy it (albeit quite differently). Maddie struggles to figure out how to create better work-life balance between her business and her creative endeavors, while also juggling both her responsibilities to and desire to be with her family and have a life aside from all of that. On the other hand, Esbee worries about ever being able to retire, and dreams of potentially taking on a new role that allows her to flex the professional muscles she's built throughout the course of her career. They may not have any conclusive answers on the matter, but (as always) hope their discussion about the nebulous nature of being working women helps others wrestling with these same issues feel just a smidge less shitty about it :)

Send us a text

We're back! Maddie and Esbee are gearing up for Season 3 of WTFAID, and in so doing, they're giving some much needed updates to our loyal followers. (Hi mom! Hi mom!) The two share recent updates from both of their lives, introduce the subject matter for each of Season 3's upcoming episodes and introduce a new segment to the airwaves: This Week's Biggest What The Fuck!

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing, DATING??? In their final episode of Season 2, Esbee and Maddie go all-in on this ubiquitous subject to which nearly everyone can relate. Maddie is decidedly NOT dating since she's married (but she does have some fun stories to share from her dating era in her early 20's) while Esbee more or less IS dating and therefore ALSO has fun tales to tell. The two hosts reminisce on some of their favorite dating memories, discuss the pros and cons of apps, and generally tell fun and funny stories about their long searches for love. 

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing with drugs and alcohol...again!? Esbee and Maddie are tackling this hot-button subject once again, exploring how their stances on drugs and alcohol have changed or stayed the same since their last discussion on the matter. Maddie discusses the shame she felt about missing alcohol during both of her pregnancies and her clarity on all those mixed emotions now, and Esbee delves more into her drinking evolution: from a teen/young adult who didn't really drink, to an adult who eventually did, all the way to a 34-year-old who is now sober. They also talk about their stance on drugs and tackle the age-old debate over whether or not the drinking age in the U.S. should be lowered to 18. It's titillating stuff!

Send us a text

What The Fuck Am I Doing with my sexuality? Glad you asked. Maddie is keeping things pretty straight and narrow, but Esbee is a little more all over the map. The two discuss their own unique sexualities and how they fit in (or don't) to the current culture. Plus, they explore our culture's fascination with sexuality and how we love to put people into neatly defined boxes — even though (more often than not) sexuality doesn't actually fit into a neatly defined box or underneath some clearly laid out label.