What to Do When You Feel Stuck in Overwhelm

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What it looks like when you get stuck in overwhelm

A few episodes back I was talking about how we are a lot like frogs in a pot of water. 

The water gets warmer + warmer. We notice, but it’s not uncomfortable enough for us to jump out yet.

We wait until the water is boiling + we are hurting bad, for us to do something about it.

That’s mostly human nature.

We avoid.

We figure, “This is something we want to handle, but just not right now.”

We create stories to postpone something because we might think we are ill-equipped to handle it or the fear of failure creeps in.

It just feels like so much work!

And what if you do all that work + end up failing, then what?

Man, that would be frustrating.

PUT IT OFF

Why people do it

We procrastinate because shit feels hard.

Our brain works to find problems in our new ventures as a form of protection.

It takes information from similar past experiences to predict possible future outcomes.

But the problem w/ this is that not all the experience are THAT similar. 

Some might look partially the same, but not exactly.

For example:

Let’s say once when you were a child you went on a horseback trail ride + your horse got spooked + bucked you off.

Now every time you get near a horse you are scared.

You won’t ride one because you fear it will buck you off.

It’s a different horse.

You are 35 years older.

The odds of a snack being there + the horse bucking again are pretty slim.

You could choose to never ride a horse again because your fear is stronger than your desire to try another experience w/ a horse.

You could fearfully ride another horse + every time it moves funny you freak the fuck out + jump off because you are 100% sure the horse was about to catapult your ass 10 feet in the air. You could stomp back to the stable, hating everyone, including horses + confirm that you were indeed right, horses do hate you + they are death traps.

You could cautiously ride another horse + when you feel the fear bubbling up you can tell yourself, “This is a different horse. I am 35 years older. The odds of another horse bucking me off are pretty slim. In fact, if I stay calm, it’s more likely that the horse will also stay calm. You finish the ride + when you are dismounting you are so pleased to have given yourself a positive experience w/ something that once haunted you. You now have confidence around horses.

3 different options to handle your information from past experiences

3 very different results

Fear + anger

Allow your fears to confirm what you already wanted to believe

Managing your thoughts + emotions to conquer fears + gain confidence

When you are stuck in overwhelm

You are a lot like #1: You choose to not ride the horse or no do the diet or not join the gym or not quit the job

AND here is the problem, when you choose a weight loss program that doesn’t teach you to manage your thoughts, you end up a lot like #2: you are looking for reasons to jump off the horse.

What you should do instead

In The First 10 lbs, it is a daily practice to manage your thoughts a lot like the #3 example:

This is a different diet program.

I am doing things drastically different than I have anytime before.

This time I have more information.

When I choose to believe that I can, I can.

When I choose to see ways I am succeeding, I succeed.

This is a different diet program + I will get entirely different results than before.

You manage your thoughts + emotions to conquer your fear, gain confidence + lose weight.