Episode 201: What We Fantasize About, And How To Share Your Fantasies

Let’s talk about sexual fantasies! In today’s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in bringing them to life.

I am joined once again by Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name.

Some of the topics we discuss include:

How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world?

Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans?

How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies?

How do people feel about their sexual fantasies?

What do we know about the origins of our fantasies?

What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner?

Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon.

Thank you to our sponsors!

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map and get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH to get 10% off your first month. 

The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.