Becoming a parent changes just about every aspect of life. But it doesn’t just change your routines, priorities, and relationships—it can actually change your brain and body. And while we’ve long recognized the profound biological transformation that accompanies motherhood, we’re only beginning to understand what happens to men when they become fathers. So what exactly is a “dad brain?” How does fatherhood reshape the male brain, hormones, and even the body?

My guest is Darby Saxbe, a clinical psychologist and tenured full professor of psychology at the University of Southern California. She has published over eighty scientific articles in peer-reviewed journals. Her research focuses on the transition to parenthood, particularly the neural and hormonal underpinnings of fatherhood. Her latest book is titled Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• How (and why) does becoming a parent change the brain?
• How similar are “dad brain” and “mom brain?"
• What happens to testosterone when men become fathers?
• Is there a biological reason for the "dad bod?"

You can visit Darby's website to learn more about Dad Brain and follow her on Instagram @darbysaxbephd

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Cozy Earth’s Labor Day Sale is happening now through September 8th. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 30% off, the biggest savings of the season. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here!

Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code JUSTIN at https://www.oneskin.co/justin

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Menopause is finally getting the attention it deserves, with growing recognition of its impact on sexual health, relationships, work, and quality of life. At the center of this conversation is hormone therapy, which has been surrounded by fear and confusion since the Women’s Health Initiative study in the early 2000s, which dramatically changed how it was perceived and prescribed. Today, scientists are revisiting that history as a new generation pushes for better information, better care, and greater choice in managing menopause.

My guest is Alicia Rose, an award-winning director and the Founder of Menopunks—a documentary, podcast, and activist movement championing hormonal education, access, and reproductive justice. A prolific filmmaker with deep roots as both a musician and indie music industry leader, she has directed more than three dozen music videos for global artists.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• What have women missed out on due to fears about hormone therapy?
• Why is menopause often left out of conversations about bodily autonomy and reproductive justice?
• What’s driving the recent surge in attention to menopause?
• Beyond sexual function, how does menopause affect women's lives?

You can check out the Menopunks website to learn more about Alicia's work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Soaking Wet. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What happens when two people in a long-term relationship have dramatically different sex drives? How do couples navigate intimacy when aging or health problems make sex difficult, or even impossible? And why do some people experience a sudden surge in sexual desire after losing a partner, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as “widow’s fire”? In this episode, we're answering more listener sex questions!

My guest is Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. Ashley also works in mental health clinical research and has more than 15 years of experience in sex education. She also has a podcast called What's Your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• How can couples navigate differences in sexual values?
• Can non-monogamy help with desire discrepancies?
• How do couples successfully adapt when one partner develops a sexual difficulty?
• Why can grief sometimes increase sexual desire?

You can check out Ashley's website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Soaking Wet. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

Attached Therapy offers personalized therapy for individuals and couples navigating infidelity, sexual disconnection, relationship strain, and other complex intimacy concerns. Founder Jason Powell, LMFT and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, offers in-person sessions in Manhattan and Brooklyn Heights, as well as virtual therapy in multiple states. Learn more at https://www.attachedtherapy.com/

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When we talk about what we want sexually, we usually describe certain behaviors, positions, or roles. But that's only part of the story. Beneath what we want to do is a deeper question: How do we want to feel during sex? Some want to feel adored. Others want to feel powerful, desired, free, or cared for. These emotional experiences reflect our Core Desires, and understanding them can offer a much richer picture of our sexuality than simply cataloging our preferred bedroom activities.

I am joined once again by Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the co-creators of the Somatica® Method and co-founders of the Somatica Institute, where they have trained coaches around the world in an experiential approach to sex, relationships, and personal transformation. They are the authors of three books and serve as the lead sexologists and co-executive producers of the UK Channel 4 award-winning series Virgin Island. 

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• What are some examples of Core Desires?
• How are Core Desires different from our attachment style?
• Are Core Desires the same thing as sexual fantasies?
• How can someone figure out their Core Desires?
• What are some tips for couples looking to explore their Core Desires together?

You can visit celesteanddanielle.com to learn more about their work and take their Core Desires quiz at https://somatica.com/quiz

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2633-lehmiller

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More young adults are delaying their sexual debut, with growing numbers reaching their twenties or even thirties without ever having had sex. At the same time, virginity has become increasingly stigmatized, leaving many people feeling ashamed, isolated, or like they’re falling behind. So what’s driving this shift, and what does it tell us about how sex and dating are changing?

My guests are Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the co-creators of the Somatica® Method and co-founders of the Somatica Institute, where they have trained coaches around the world in an experiential approach to sex, relationships, and personal transformation. They are the authors of three books and serve as the lead sexologists and co-executive producers of the UK Channel 4 award-winning series Virgin Island. 

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• Why are more young adults delaying their sexual debut?
• What’s driving the rise in adult virginity?
• Why did virginity become a social liability?
• What can the TV series Virgin Island teach everyone about building confidence and seeking more meaningful connections?

You can visit celesteanddanielle.com to learn more about their work and take their Core Desires quiz at https://somatica.com/quiz

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days, Cozy Earth’s beach towels will be your new poolside essential. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off. That’s code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here!

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite how much we hear about ADHD, its impact on our intimate lives is often overlooked. Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD experience at least one form of sexual dysfunction. ADHD can also contribute to frustration, misunderstanding, and conflict in relationships. In today's show, we’re revisiting a classic episode from the archives that takes a closer look at the intersection of ADHD and sex.

My guest is Cate Osborn, a certified sex educator, a mental health advocate, and full-time content creator, with ADHD. As a professional table top role-playing game performer, she is passionate about opening conversations about neurodiversity and accessibility in the gaming and BDSM/kink communities.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• How is ADHD related to sexual desire?
• Why is ADHD linked to both premature orgasm and delayed orgasm?
• How can medications to treat ADHD affect sex?
• Are there gender differences in how ADHD relates to sexual difficulties?
• If you find yourself constantly distracted during sex, what can you do about this?

You can check out Cate's website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Traditional sex education often skips topics like the clitoris, orgasm, sexual pain, and vaginal health, leaving many women to figure these things out all on their own. In this episode, we cover the sex advice every woman should know. We’ll discuss how to make sex more pleasurable, what to do about sexual pain and difficulty reaching orgasm, what you need to know about vaginal health and hygiene products, and more.

My guest is Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexuality educator. With over 300 million views and 2 million subscribers, her YouTube channel @RenaMalikMD has become a go-to destination for frank, evidence-based discussions of taboo topics. With a prolific portfolio boasting over 80 peer-reviewed publications, she has contributed to advancement and innovation in the field of urology. She is also author of the book The Hard Truth: Everything Men Need to Know for Good Health, Great Sex, and Long Life.

Some of the specific topics we cover include:

• The keys to making intercourse more pleasurable.
• Why sex hurts—and what you can do about it.
• What really helps when orgasm is difficult.
• The truth about vaginal taste, smell, and hygiene.
• Simple ways to prevent vaginal and urinary infections.

You can check out Rena's website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Open relationships, polyamory, and consensual non-monogamy are receiving more attention than ever, yet they’re still surrounded by stereotypes and misconceptions. In her new book, Alyssa Shelasky moves beyond the debate by sharing the real-life stories of people navigating these relationships. In this episode, we explore what draws people to non-monogamy, what these relationships actually look like, and what we can all learn from them.

Alyssa Shelasky writes the New York Magazine column Sex Diaries, which was developed into an HBO docuseries with Shelasky producing and starring. She is the author of Apron Anxiety, This Might Be Too Personal, and the new book Sex Diaries: Real Life Stories of Non-Monogamy and Polyamory. 

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• What do people get wrong about who practices non-monogamy?
• Why do people open their relationships in the first place?
• What happens when non-monogamy gets complicated, messy, or doesn’t go as planned?
• Which real-life stories challenge our biggest assumptions about open relationships?
• What can monogamous couples learn from people who practice non-monogamy?

Check out Alyssa's website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform! 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us only get small glimpses into other people’s sex lives, which can make our own experiences feel more unusual than they really are. But what happens when you spend years hearing the unfiltered truth about people’s desires, insecurities, relationships, and intimate experiences? In this episode, we explore what those stories reveal about modern sex and relationships.

My guest is Alyssa Shelasky. Her popular New York Magazine column, Sex Diaries, is widely considered a cultural phenomenon and was developed into an HBO docuseries with Shelasky producing and starring. She is the author of Apron Anxiety, This Might Be Too Personal, and the new book Sex Diaries: Real Life Stories of Non-Monogamy and Polyamory. 

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why are people sometimes more comfortable sharing their deepest sexual secrets with a stranger than with a partner?
• What do people’s sex stories reveal about the roles sex plays beyond physical pleasure?
• How have people’s desires, relationships, and intimate lives changed over the years?
• What has collecting countless intimate stories taught Alyssa about modern intimacy?

Check out Alyssa's website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beduc.at/pd2628-lehmiller

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we went behind the scenes of film and television to explore how intimacy coordinators help create authentic, safe, and compelling intimate scenes. But the lessons from this profession extend far beyond Hollywood. In this episode, we’re bringing those lessons into the bedroom to explore how they can help us build healthier, hotter, and more connected sex lives.

I am joined once again by Laura Desiree, the creative director of SNCTM, a private members-only erotic society known for its immersive events that blend live performance, fantasy, intimacy and consent-driven exploration. She is a Level II certified intimacy coordinator with years of experience in erotic media and sex-positive storytelling. Through her work with SNCTM, Laura curates experiences that are culturally relevant, artistically elevated and rooted in clear boundaries, consent, and discretion.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

You can check out Laura’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.