We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems to do, validating your partner’s defense actually helps them feel seen by you and keeps you in connection.

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In today's episode we are defining longings in a relationship. George and Laurie identify two different types of longing. The first seen as a more physical and emotional pain around an unmet need. These are longings that have to do with not being seen, or heard and require comfort and reassurance to restore safety. The second type of longing centers on growth and expansion. It is where we work to express our desire, pleasure and fantasies to one another. When there has been a prolonged negative cycle, longings typically are about safety and many couples struggle with longings that promote pleasure. What does the idea of longings bring up in you? Are yours more focused on safety or growth? Make sure to listen and share this episode with your love to learn more about what your longings are and how to express them in your relationship. 

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There can be so much disappointment even shame when a couple is in a sexlessness marriage. Couple can tune out and shut down their need for flesh on flesh and over time it gets harder and harder to get back. They don’t know how to repair or even talk about normal failure and so they ignore the failures. This doesn’t happen just with aging. It’s people who resign themselves to not talking about it and both withdraw. George and Laurie talk about how to get back in bed!

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In today's episode, we explore taking sex from a chore to a desired event. It's common for one partner to see sex as a way to please the other but forget about themselves. While individuals do have different levels of sexual desire, physical intimacy is still a need. Laurie and George invite sexual withdrawers to consider themselves, and their needs and wants in the sexual relationship rather than just making their partner happy. Through awareness, mindset shift and fantasy withdrawers will learn how to uncover and share their sexual needs to create more desire and want in your sexual relationship.  

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Confidence is essential for a great relationship. But how to you grow in confidence if you've lost it or never had much of it? Confidence is the end result of a string of successes. We discuss moves you can make to help yourself -- and your partner -- build their confidence by how you interact, particularly in the difficult conversations. Learn new moves to help you be successful -- and grow your confidence.

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Time to head back to school listeners! In this 'School of Love' episode we are defining attachment styles and how they show up in the bedroom. We focus on secure, anxious and avoidant attachment styles and why partners might fall into patterns based on their sexual attachment. Join hosts George and Laurie in this conversation on how your sexual attachment style affects your love life and what you can do about it. An anxiously attached sexual pursuer might crave connection to soothe themselves, an avoidantly attached partner might shut off emotions during sex and see it as a stress reliever. Why is this important? If you can see how and why you are showing up the way you are in your sexual relationship you can do something about it! Remember it's not just about you, this is an intimate connection and we want to aim to make this relationship as secure as possible. We hope you take lots of notes in class today! 

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Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex.

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In today's episode we are joined again by Dr. Ryan Rana, director of the Joshua Center in Arkansas and partners with George in the online EFT school for therapists, 'Success in Vulnerability.' Ryan joins our hosts in an in depth conversation discussing how to be more vulnerable in your sexual relationship. A relationship that centers on logistics and mechanics functions but doesn't access the power of attachment energy. To risk being seen, heard and understood deepens connection and harnesses a powerful energy. This 'soul connection' is the benefit from taking risks to be vulnerable with your partner by expressing feelings and needs. Come along with us today to learn more about what it looks like to be more vulnerable, how vulnerability can take your sex life from drab to fab and why deep connection with your partner is one of life's greatest stress reducers. Vulnerability can feel scary but on the flipside of feeling scared is feeling excited! Vulnerability is a major turn on!

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Dr. Ryan Rana's website is Ryanranatraining.com. He can be reached at [email protected] and on facebook at Ryan Rana Professional training.

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Touch is vital for intimate communication. We learn so much with touch - pleasure, safety, exploration and curiosity! So often we don’t put it into words and then we find ourselves in intimate relationship with a partner without really explaining what we need and want. For instance, tickling may be fun and erotic or triggering. There are lots of ways me might miss each other in the conversation but Laurie and George explore people’s reservations and offer ideas of how to communicate about intimate touch better.

#EFT #Couples #Marriage #Sex #SexPodcast #SecureSexualAttachment

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In today's episode, George and Laurie welcome fellow EFTer and relationship expert Dr. Ryan Rana. Ryan is the director of the Joshua Center in Arkansas, EFT trainer and co-host of "The Leading Edge" podcast. Ryan joins us today for a great conversation on how beliefs about ourselves become cemented and the damage this can cause to relationships. You may have caught yourself saying before, "I'm just no good with money." and then when your pockets are empty and the bills are due, you've just consolidated this belief. Now evidence piles on evidence and this becomes a fixed idea. These beliefs are comforting on some level because they create predictability but they are relationship killers! Fixed ideas leave no room for curiosity and as you'll hear in this episode "once we become curious, we can start changing again." This great conversation will get you thinking about these limiting beliefs, where they came from and how to change them to stop the damage and start getting more hopeful and engaged. For more information on Dr. Rana and The Joshua Center visit www.thejoshuacenter.com. Dr. Ryan Rana's website is ⁠Ryanranatraining.com⁠. He can be reached at [email protected] and on Facebook at Ryan Rana Professional training.

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