Pillow Talks

By Vanessa & Xander Marin

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and serious... more

4.8

24462,446 ratings

FAQs about Pillow Talks:

How many episodes does Pillow Talks have?

The podcast currently has 278 episodes available.

Best of Pillow Talks

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers
It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee. In this episode, you'll hear: Can you ask your partner to start initiating again after you spent years shutting them down? A monthly quota for sex: reasonable or red flag? Oral every single time: too much to ask or not a big deal? The blowjob stereotype most women believe, and what men actually told us in our foreplay survey Asking your partner to stop saying a word that gives you the ick, without shutting down the dirty talk entirely How to admit you've hated something in bed for years without making your partner feel terrible Is waking your partner up because you can't sleep crossing a line? Want to stop guessing and start feeling confident in your technique? It’s time to give and receive “I didn’t know it could be that good” pleasure with the Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Our #1 best-seller for a reason. Detailed, step-by-step instructions that guide you through expertly fingering and going down on a vulva, and giving jaw-dropping hand jobs and blow jobs. Animated GIFs with tasteful illustrations that will help you become an expert at our hottest foreplay techniques. Over 100 unique techniques designed to give your partner maximum pleasure and secret hacks to get them begging for more. Exactly what to do before, during, and after orgasm to ensure a “my soul just left my body” experience. Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 27, 202651min
Number 2: E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This
We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including one accusation we still can't believe we had to respond to. In this episode, you'll hear: The one line in that reel that set the whole thing off The accusation that hurt more than anything we've ever been called online The ball of clay explanation that changes how you understand your own anatomy The percentage of women who actually orgasm from penetration alone (it's not what you've been told) The rule we have in our own sex life As promised in the episode, our Survivor's Guide is a free resource for survivors of sexual assault who want to reclaim their sex life. Grab it here: https://vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in Finishing School is our orgasm course for women, and it starts exactly where this episode does, with understanding that you're not broken. Learn how your anatomy actually works Do the mindset work first, because that's what makes every technique after it land Get step by step practices for orgasming on your own and with a partner Learn how to create more sensation during intercourse instead of less Check out Finishing School here: https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 20, 20261h 7min
Number 3: E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood
This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pillow trick that changes everything, plus how many positions you actually need for great sex. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: 🛏️ How to introduce new positions when you've been together forever ⭐ The most underrated position, and no, it's not missionary 🎬 Why switching out of missionary sometimes kills the mood 🍆 What to do when he goes soft during a transition 🛋️ The best pillow and furniture for better positions ⏱️ How long to give a position before deciding "nah, this isn't it" 🔢 How many positions you actually need in one session Use this episode to talk with your partner about what you'd actually love to try next. 💦 Think you've tried every position? Think again. Ultimate Sex Positions is our fully illustrated guide to 47 positions, with step-by-step guidance, tips for how to move, and smart adjustments for real bodies. 47 fully illustrated positions (5 new!) with step-by-step guidance 17 brand-new pillow positions, because changing your angle by a few inches changes everything Recommendations for what each position is best for, plus troubleshooting and aftercare Right now, get the whole guide and every bonus for just $49, half off the regular $97 The sale ends Monday, August 17, so don't wait. 👉🏻 Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 13, 20261h 0min
Number 4: E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves novelty, the other finds comfort in what already works. Here's the thing: it's probably not about compatibility. It's about your sex personality types. In this episode, we walk you through all five types, what drives each one, the superpowers they bring to a relationship, the shadows that can quietly cause friction, and how knowing your type (and your partner's) can completely change the way you understand each other. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Why understanding your sex personality can shift everything about how you connect with your partner 🔥 The Firestarter — the spontaneity-fueled type who treats passion as proof of connection 💞 The Connector — for whom emotional intimacy is the door to physical intimacy 🌸 The Sensualist — present, embodied, sensory-driven 🪶 The Adventurer — curious, playful, novelty-seeking ⚓ The Anchor — steady, communicative, and grounding How to reframe your partner's "differences" as information, not rejection Why understanding your blend can take you out of the blame cycle and into actual change Whether you've been together six months or sixteen years, this episode gives you a whole new lens for understanding why you want what you want, and why your partner wants what they want. Less guessing. Less misreading. A lot more clarity. ✨ Want to know your sex personality type? Take our free quiz here → https://vmtherapy.com/sex-personality-type 🕯️ Want more connection, intimacy, and spark in your relationship every single month? The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep the fun, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship. Fresh intimacy prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly Designed for real couples with real lives (not just the honeymoon phase) Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship 👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 27% off. ➡︎https://birchliving.com/PILLOWTALKS 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 28, 20261h 8min
Number 5: E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship
When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Most long-term couples slowly drift from enjoying each other to managing life together, and fun is usually the first thing to quietly disappear. In this episode, we're talking about why couples lose the fun, why it matters way more than most people realize, and 5 surprisingly simple ways to bring it back. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Why fun is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy (and how it actually builds resilience, attraction, and friendship) The IG poll results that show just how universal this is. Only 21% of our community said they have a lot of fun in their relationship The most common things that get in the way of fun, from kids and money stress to "we honestly just forget" The reframe that helps you find more time for fun. If you've been feeling more like roommates than romantic partners lately, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s possible to bring back the fun. 🕯️ Want more fun, connection, and intimacy in your relationship every single month? The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep playfulness, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship. Fresh prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly Designed for real couples with real lives, not just the honeymoon phase Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship 👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast 🔗 Links & Resources Sex Talks (our book) → https://sextalksbook.com The Ultimate Foreplay Guides → https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay Ultimate Sex Positions → https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 04, 202657min